The Devil Works Hard But I Ride His Cock Harder

Missing your lessons on Duolingo is actually a ploy to draw the Duolingo bird out so you can kidnap it and make it use its own app against itself. The Duolingo bird is now the learner, and you are now the Bird.

I have questions.

Vampire that’s dirt poor, doesn’t have a sprawling manor or vast riches accumulated by interest. Can’t afford those black leather boots they really want. Travels as a bat to save money not cuz they like it.

CROWLEY NEEDS TO MAN UP AND DO HIS RESPONSIBILITY AS A DAMN HEADMASTER

Dude you are literally butt-fuck who knows how old, probably one of the most powerful beings still alive, you OWN THE SCHOOL AND PROPERTY, and have by that have the authority to get the ghosts to get tf out, GROW A PAIR AND DEAL WITH IT FJSKKDKGKG

he only exists in my dreams . ۫ ꣑ৎ . mine

Sobbing

this is kisaki (dead)ass

I would slap the shit of them with my tail then escape. I mean who would believe them if they told anybody right?

Waves, lapped gently at your waist, as you laid comfortably, on a partially submerged, rock, the air, cool, and crisp, against your skin. It felt so peaceful at this time of night, when the beach was free of people, and the moon’s ethereal light, was dancing across the shore. 

You wished, it could always be like this.

Taking in a deep breath of the fresh sea breeze, you stretched your arms above your head, and arched your back for a moment, before slumping back down contentedly, a soft smile, pulling at your lips. Coaxed by the rhythmic waves, and emboldened by the blissful solitude, you felt a song start to bubble up, inside your chest.

Time slipped away, as you laid there, singing wistfully to the moon, and the stars, lost in your own little world. Sadly however, such a peaceful moment, couldn’t last forever, and the sound of a shaky gasp, quickly had you tensing, and falling silent.

Head snapping up, in fright, you froze as you realised that someone was standing at the waters edge, staring at you with wide eyes.

….Or rather….your tail.

I'm sobbing this memes are everything 💀

greek mythology | cursed images

Rest in fucking pieces

Imagine teasing a horny demon in heat inside of a salt circle, stripping for him before masturbating oh so close to him. You’re literally just out of his reach while he’s panting and shaking and growling the ways he’s gonna break you and breed you and make you beg for mercy

And then you accidentally break the salt circle

This reminded me of the time when my ex-crush was cold and I lent him my jacket QJZBWHSVWJAHQIA HE LOOKS SO PRETTY WEARING IT THAT TIME.

you borrow another boy’s jacket

gn!reader┆canon┆wc. 801┆navi┆like or reblog┆

kalim al asim

your boyfriend had a long streak of being the ‘resident ditz’ and while he never intends to hurt anyone, or step on some toes, the lack of a filter made it hard at times. specially now as he eyes at the jacket a classmate lent you came off… differently.

“i prefer you wear mine instead,” he hummed to himself, as he circled you; only to stop and study its material. he didn’t mean to offend yet when he considered referring his family tailor to the academy, you winced. technically, he didn’t say it outright but he did indirectly dub it subpar.

Keep reading

My God. I hate her for real. Nah because my petty ass would definitely take my anger out on Riddle.

I just had an idea for story- Riddles mom come for like a PTA Meeting or family day and despises Crowley and worries for her precious little boy’s future if continues to be headmaster and for the plot just has Crowley arrested or removed as headmaster and replaces him.

She’s like Umbrige level of bad. She is in every class that Riddles in. Riddle is internally praying that this is just a bad dream. Trey is getting grey hairs. Confiscated Caiter’s phone. Probably installs alarms that makes a noise only cats can hear in the botanical garden so Leon can’t nap in there.

Like I’m just picturing an alchemy class where Adeuce and Grimm mess up a potion or cause an accident and it’s just … Bad.

Drags deuces mother, saying she can’t wait to meet her so she see what a laizy and horrible parent she is if her son can’t do basic spells and potions. After all Riddle master this when he was still in elementary school. Deuce is trying not to get mad, but when asks what his father would thinks and he mentions it’s just them Mama rosehearts would make a snide remark about how his mother being loose would explain her sons many short comings.

Ace might fight back- bad idea. “Do you think the real world be any different ? Who would ever hire a slob like you? I wonder where your parents went wrong if your brother was a model student.”

Then she turns to us, “I understand the previous headmasters decision to enroll you. Even with out magic you do manage to keep up better then your moronic friends. “ but she smiles at Yuu as says “control the beast or I’ll make sure that it won’t be a problem. If you can’t take care of something then you don’t deserve to have it.” Basicly says keep Grim under control or she’s sending him to shelter.

Big show down between Mama Rosehearts and Lilia. Calls him a horrible father and down right neglectful because of silvers narcolepsy. Idk came to but I’m curious what you think?

I love this concept. But also fuck this bitch.

Yuu tries to argue with her. "I don't have, Grim. He's a person and student just like everyone else!"

"That thing," the woman said glaring, "Is a mongrel. The only reason I'll allow it here is because it's admission is tied with yours and technically has not earned expulsion. Now I suggest you do as you're told and don't give me a reason to expel you both."

Despite the previous deal with Crowley, she won't make any agreement with Azul and forces him to shut down Mostro Lounge. She made a policy so Sam would stop selling certain items in his shop. She micro manages everything to the point where the Housewardens have no power over their dorms.

Pretty much everyone who is not Riddles friend takes it out on him. Everyone avoids him. He can't even rely on Trey or Cater anymore, because his mother kept them separate at all times. She even moved him out of the dorm and made him live with her in the headmages quarters.

Yuu is stuck. They're a ward of the school,and with Crowley gone, Ms. Rosehearts is technically their guardian now. If they outright fight back, she may just turn over them over to the system and Yuu can kiss any chance of going home goodbye.

However, she mostly only cares about Riddle. So late at night, everyone sneaks out of their dorms to hold secret meetings late at night at Ramshackle and discuss what to do. Everyone debates on the matter. Maybe they can get all the families like the Asims or Kingscholars to push for her removal. Maybe get Idia to dig up dirt and have her fired. Regardless of how, the Wicked Witch must go.