If Percy Jackson Was A Quote...

This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:

How to unclog a toilet without a plunger

How to fix a blown fuse

How to fix a leaky faucet 

How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower

How to escape from a house fire

How to make a budget and stick to it

How to sharpen a knife

How to clean a self-cleaning oven

How to clean red wine stains from carpet

How to clean blood stains from fabric

How to clean grease stains from fabric

How to do a load of laundry

How to iron your clothes

How to test your smoke detectors

Cooking Skills:

How to tell if produce is ripe

How to know if food is expired 

How to properly sanitize a kitchen

How to cook an egg

How to make rice

How to make pasta

How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely

How to use a gas stove

How to use a convection oven

How to cook meat safely

How to use a stand mixer

How to use kitchen knives properly

How to make mashed potatoes

How to make grilled cheese sandwiches 

Health Skills:

How to stop bleeding

How to treat a burn 

How to do CPR (on an adult)

How to do CPR (on a child)

How to do CPR (on a baby)

How to help someone who is choking

How to save yourself if you are choking alone

How to read a nutrition label

How to treat frostbite

How to recognize when someone is having a stroke

How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule

Mental Health Skills:

How to calm down during a panic attack

How to help someone who is suicidal 

How to meditate 

How to stop self-harming

How to recognize problem drinking

How to choose a therapist

How to deal with disappointment

How to cope with grief

How to raise your self-esteem

Relationship and Social Skills:

How to apologize

How to cope with a breakup 

How to accept criticism 

How to deal with bullying 

How to argue in a healthy way

How to ask someone out

How to break up with someone

How to recognize an abusive relationship

How to rekindle a damaged friendship

How to speak in public

Job Hunting Skills:

How to tie a tie

How to write a resume

How to write a cover letter

How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)

How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)

How to properly shake hands

How to nail a job interview

Other Skills:

How to sew on a button 

How to hammer a nail

How to change your oil

How to put gas in your car

How to jump-start a car

How to pick a good password

How to back up your files

How to write a cheque

I appreciate everyone remembering and praising annabeth for taking the knife for percy instinctively in The Last Olympian BUT HOW DARE YA LITTLE FUCKS FORGET GROVER TRYING TO PROTECT PERCY FROM A GODDAM TITAN!!

For the moment I am really very, very tired of everything — more than tired.

— Friedrich Nietzsche

Do you know why Leo Valdez deserved every right to kill Gaea with his bare hands? (and I'm glad that he got the chance). BECAUSE, BITCH MURDERED ESPERANZA VALDEZ!! And made AN EIGHT YEAR OLD feel guilty for what he didn't do!

So, apparently dogs too pretend to be in a music video when the music is on

Watch "AURORA - Runaway. (Lyrics)." on YouTube

This reminds me of Neil Abram Josten.

Future generations will assume that the phrase “Oh Snap!” refers to Infinity War.

A Review of the Appreciated - Fic Rec from The Foxhole Court

 I decided to start keeping track of the fics I read and enjoyed, along with some comments of my own. This is only my own personal opinion, but overall I do recommend all those fics. All of them will be Complete, unless I mention otherwise.

Here I start with The Foxhole Court ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)

The First Breath by nekojita (andreil, 180k)

An AU where Death, aka Neil, is convinced to spend some time playing at being human. Working at the Laughing Fox coffee shop has him meeting ordinary people, as well as less ordinary people.

I really loved this fic so much. Neil failing at being human was hilarious, his friendship with Matt was precious, and the Coffee Thief Andrew was great! Easily one of my favorite. It’s apparently based on the Sandman by Neil Gaiman, but no knowledge of that story is required. I never read it and the fic made perfect sense to me. Not all of the characters are gods, magic or such, but imo they still all have Something Special about them.

Read it for: an endearing Neil trying to understand the appeal of human things such as drinking, eating, watching movies or shopping; an oblivious Neil; Andrew’s intense attraction to Death; express traveling to another country just to have dinner.

Fear No Fall  by Saul (andreil, 81k)

The pirate crew of The Fox find an unexpected treasure in the form of a captured merman named Neil. It might bring them more troubles than riches.

Set as my go-to feelgood read, I’ve read it multiple times and it never disappoints. The universe is rich and well detailed, especially under the sea. The parts in Neil’s pov are entertaining and transcribe the feeling of being from another species pretty well. A good point of this story is that there is absolutely no likeness to The Little Mermaid, which would have been ooc. Instead, it suits the rebel side of the characters.

Read it for: an etherealy beautiful mermaid, a bunch of kids adopt a pet but they have no idea how to care for it, Neil talking to whales and cleaning barnacles-ridden boats, an entertaining travel throuhg the seas.

dangerous magics by SashaSea (SHCombatalade) (andreil, 52k)

The Urban Fantasy AU where Kevin is finally #1, they still fight Riko, Neil rents flat but doesn’t read the line where it specifies a Hellhound comes with it. The dog is Andrew.

Hard to define without spoiling the entire story, this is a fresh breath of air in the world of AU. An overall original setting that gives us fae and magic. I takes some time to really start, so the beginning might be confusing, but I strongly encourage giving it a try, if only for snarky Hellhound Andrew.

Read it for: a new approach of the Urban Fantasy theme, Kevin is still a Drama Queen, a reassuring lack of zoophilia, Neil cooking pasta.

 eyes wide open by jaylocked (jerejean, 13k)

“hi sorry I live below you and I hear your dog running around and barking all the time and– no no it’s fine I was just wondering if I could pet it?” Jeremy first falls in love with the dog, then with its owner.

An incredibly sweet reading. I don’t know what was cuter: the dog, or the men. Also features a cool appearance from Laila and Alvarez as Jeremy’s not quite helpful friends.

Read it for: a dog with a very cliché french name, drunk texting in broken french, unhelpful dating advice, Jean as a painter.

  men, abort mission (that is the silver lining in my cloudy disposition) by quensty (andreil, 2.125 words)

The recorded number of times someone hit on Neil Josten and got nowhere, and the one time Andrew didn’t even have to try. 

It’s a classic I guess, but it’s well written and hilarious. This oblivious Neil is delightfully funny.

Read it for: a Savage Moment, helpless fools attracted to each other, the team as witnesses.

  your crown of thorns holds roses by quensty (andreil, 4.444 words)

Three days after he signs his death sentence to Palmetto State, five after Andrew Minyard sends him flying breathless to the ground, Neil’s gaze snaps to the locker room mirror and stares, frozen, at the word threat scrawled along his spinal cord in terrifying, heavy bold.

This is the AU where your soulmate’s opinion of you gets tatooed on your skin. Effective writting coupled with punch-like settings makes this a one of a kind read. So believable you almost forget it’s an AU.

Read it for: soulmates refusing to be soulmates, an very andrew-like andrew, Neil is one the run, the sweet feeling of andreil being soulmates.

the key to us. by andreil (andreil, 12k)

Three takes on their daily lives: an evolution of Sleeping together, Fighting each other, and Protecting each other.

I had heartburn reading this, I find this series almost perfect. Some daily-life action in the future, but it’s never boring. It’s both intense and fluffy.

Read it for: sweet everyday things, but also intense in character interaction, boys figuring shit up together, a good Healing of the Soul.

     willing to give by seeingrightly (andreil, 5k)

Normally, Andrew is the one who has bad days. 

The one where Neil has a bad day, and they deal with it. A touching piece, that felt very in character. A believable interpretation of Neil’s feelings, while Andrew is There, ever present as his understanding and supporting self for him. Almost bittersweet but somehow by the end, all that was left was pure, positive feelings.

Read it for: a bag of neatly packed feels, a how-to manual on handling them, quiet time together.

time will tell by Saul (general with background andreil, 8k)

In which the Foxes become parents too young, and Neil is truly just fine. Neil is somehow, suddenly, eight year old.

An interesting take on Neil’s childhood, with the added bonus of the foxes interacting with a child. I think this might be the most civil Aaron has ever been toward Neil in. Some are better at handling a child than others, and it’s surprising.

Read it for: a cute young Neil, an heartbreakingly scarred young Neil, unsurprising temper-tantrums, a lost Wymack, having your heart burned to ashes by how pure a child is.

Five Things Neil Was Surprised To Enjoy by moonix (andreil, 3.989 words)

Five things Neil was surprised to enjoy, and one thing he wasn’t surprised to discover he still didn’t.

Don’t let it fool you, there is only pure sweetness here. Several moments of Neil discovering the wonders of life, it’ll definitely leave you smiling.

Read it for: Neil eats a sweet (almost unbelievable), Nicky’s bad influence on Andrew’s boyfriend, catching up after a life on the run.

This moment alone is enough to convince me I need an entire book series focused on Solangelo

Shower thoughts:

when we spill something on the ground. We are simply mixing one Matter with another.