@cactisays Oh For Sure,I'd Happily Join You

i really didn’t think it could get worse, and then-

are we not feeling very pious today, brother lionel

no one had “real names“ in ancient times if you wanted to be called broadback or servant-of-god or whatever everyone was chill about it

@cactisays I feel attacked

I don't know what this is but I'm tossing it out to the universe now

@cactisays

deeply obsessed with this

i avoid printers at all costs but deep down i think i should've been a printer. life so easy. i sit there all squarelike and when someone has a minor task for me i goFUCK YOU

Starting my fanfiction journey has me realizing just how much ACD canon READS LIKE FANFICTION.

Like, what do you MEAN the two main characters are extremely fruity roommates who absolutely adore each other?

What do you MEAN Sherlock Holmes BLUSHES LIKE A LITTLE LADY WHEN WATSON COMPLIMENTS HIM?

What do you MEAN Sherlock Holmes starts out as a misogynist but is humbled by a beautiful talented girlboss outsmarting him???

What do you MEAN Holmes and Watson bicker about each other’s taste in art, and cleanliness, and eating habits?

What do you MEAN a story ends with the escaped victim of an abusive man who kills his exes POURING ACID ON AND DESTROYING SAID MAN’S FACE???

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHERLOCK HOLMES CROSSDRESSES?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S WATSON’S GREATEST JOY AND PLEASURE TO SERVE HOLMES?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WATSON IS ‘HERE TO BE USED’?????

WHAT DO YOU MEAN LESTRADE SAYS HE’S PROUD OF HOLMES AND HOLMES NEARLY CRIES?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOLMES AND WATSON FREQUENT THE TURKISH BATHS TOGETHER?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOLMES WOULD KILL A MAN FOR WATSON, AND WATSON WOULD GET SHOT TO SEE HOLMES’ LOVE????

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula: