Oh No Please Dont Pin My Wrists Above My Head And Prevent Me From Moving While You Kiss My Neck And Whisper

halloween is approaching! i think it'd be neat to see your take on zim & dib's costumes, assuming they'd be willing to celebrate :)

Fuck it we bawl (starts sobbing uncontrollably)

"Would you peel an orange for me?"

I would peel a pomegranate for you.

Babe unmute yourself. Babe please unmute. Babe. I want to pick a fight with your boss. Sweetie. Just hit the button and unmute yourself for two seconds so I can start shit with your boss. Baby please

op just discovered trolling

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

the moon told me you’re my soulmate btw if you even care :/