HUGE NEWS!! THE SUPREME COURT JUST HAD A MASSIVELY IMPORTANT RULING THAT RESULTED IN NEARLY HALF OF OKLAHOMA

Me: wow i feel great today.

A friend: wow im so glad to hear that, you’ve been trough so much lately i hope you have more happy days coming.

Me trying not to burst in laughter: APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!! My life is still a mess and it get worse every day😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

*tony* kid, what the hell happened over there?

*peter* i dont know, i sang baby shark for two hours and they let me go

new favourite thing: peter parker getting kidnapped as an SI intern and going against all expectations

kidnapper: i know you're scared. this'll all be over soon, and we'll let you go unharmed ...if you give us what we want

peter: oh, no, please. keep me. i've got school and i'm really just not feeling it today, you know?

kidnapper: give us information on tony stark, we know you work for him

peter: okay, first of all, i'd say i more work with him? second of all, i don't know, man. he likes blueberries-

peter: i just think it's a little rude that you're holding me captive and not even being professional about it. you kidnapped iron man's intern, seriously. where's the passion? it's honestly depressing in here. oh my god, is that what's driving you? because i know a good therapist. i mean, i haven't seen them for myself yet, but mr. stark recommends them and he usually has good ideas-

kidnapper: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEBODY SHUT HIM UP

I have a love hate relation with myself. Like i'll be looking at a trashcan and tell people it has acomplished more than me and 5 seconds later i'll have a 5 hour lecture on why im the only perfect human being ever.

tua headcanon (horror movies night):

luther would definitely be the type to let his siblings hide their faces in his arms whenever they get scared. he’d also be kind enough to sit in the middle and hold the popcorn bowl for everyone because he’s the only one who can get through a movie without yeeting it fifty feet into the air (like klaus)

diego sits on the floor, casually flipping his knives the entire time, the only indication that he ever gets scared being the way he does it faster and faster. and it’s sort of an unspoken rule, but whoever’s sitting behind him gets to be diego’s unofficial pillow for the night. he especially likes it when it’s allison because she has a habit of carding her fingers through his hair, and he’s fallen asleep with his head in her lap on more than one occasion

allison is always in charge of snacks and drinks because she makes a mean margarita and she’s the only one in this household who actually knows how to cook something that isn’t spam or bacon or eggs or instant ramen

the ghosts in horror movies don’t actually scare klaus; c'mon, the man has seen way worse shit than that. it’s just that some of them look too much like the ones he sees in real life, and so he has a hard time disassociating afterwards. still: that little boy from the grudge never fails to freak him out, and whenever he’s on screen, klaus throws popcorn at the tv until he disappears

five doesn’t really care for horror movies but he does appreciate his siblings’ efforts to bond, and so he sits with them for the hour or two it takes to finish a movie with next to no complaint. sometimes, he falls asleep only twenty minutes in, and has to endure all the teasing about being an old man when he wakes. when he does make it through an entire film, it’s only because he’s busy pointing out continuity errors or how ridiculous the other effects are

ben sits with them, but doesn’t really engage; he’s too busy reading for that. it’s also pretty uncomfortable for him to watch movies about dead things and monsters under beds when he finds out that in another timeline, he was dead for 17 years before he managed to move on. besides, he gets more scared from the sound of allison, klaus, and vanya screaming than the actual movie anyway

once, they decide to watch a lovecraftian horror film, and ben thinks it’d be funny to release a few tentacles and sneak up on everyone from behind. the result is one wasted bowl of popcorn, a knife missing his ear by a few inches, vanya shattering at least three vases, and klaus’ incessant screeching about “you could’ve killed me, ben! do you want me to follow you around for the rest of your life? no? yeah, didn’t think so!” but hey: it’s the best prank he’s ever played, and it’s just so, so worth it

vanya tries to pretend like she isn’t scared, but she actually is. horror movies had never been her thing, even when they were young. but klaus’ running commentary is actually pretty funny and allison sometimes tells juicy stories about the actors, especially the ones she’s worked with in the past, and so vanya stays. besides it’s nice to curl into luther’s side and feel him jump a bit whenever somebody on screen gets murdered, and it’s even nicer to laugh at him afterwards when he tries to pass it off as being “cold”

afterwards, they retreat to their respective rooms. but in the middle of the night, allison hears her door creak open and in creeps klaus, tugging ben by his sleeve with vanya not too far behind. after a while, luther comes as well, half-dragging a protesting diego behind him

they’re in the middle of making an awesome fort when five teleports in, carrying a box of griddy’s donuts and a carton of milk to wash it all down. for some reason, they’ve always just known when the others are in need of sweets, and tonight is no exception

while they eat, they share stories about their childhood and although it has the potential to turn sad really quick, it also helps them grow closer when they realize just how much they have in common, even after all these years. saving the world thrice from an apocalypse does that to a family, i guess

five is the last to fall asleep so it’s his duty to turn the lights off, but before he does, he takes a minute to take in his sleeping siblings’ faces: of ben–still slightly distant but slowly accepting that this is where he belongs–curled against allison, who has always thrown off heat like a furnace; vanya burrowed under three comforters because even as an adult, she still gets cold at the drop of a hat; klaus’ head resting on luther’s chest; diego face-down into a pillow, his hand stretched out towards the space they’ve all reserved for five, searching for his brother even in sleep

and in that moment, five just feels so much love for them swell up in his chest that all other worries fly out of his head because what else could matter when his family is here and safe and together again? so five flicks off the switch, lies down, and lets diego mash his face into his shoulder because even if he wakes up all drooled-on tomorrow, there’s still no place he’d rather be

Im not able to reconise or feel emotions so it gives realt funny results when i try to draw someone with emotions.

I shall repost this everytime i see it, too much people die becouse they feel like seeking help is considered weak.

And that needs to stop

Enjoy the thomas the train i drew in the middle of the night while being stoned as fuck.

I was wrong

Avocados are overrated

Me

I’ve been never betrayed as much as today.

I’ll never be able to trust annyone ever again.

I had to promise my parents to stop smoking weed.

I did.

And im loving the weed tea now.