Misaneeragoni - I Dream Of Doflamingo

think of AI covers what you will but imma just drop this here...

I just remembered the song i thought fit doflamingo alot when another anon was talking about music. I think Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage, is a perfect song for a relationship with Doflamingo. It just feel like your fighting as your forced to dance with him. Highly recommend the band they make really good music that reminds me of different characters

Yes, this song is literally the go-to for a relationship with Doffy. I love the song, the lyrics, the music. 👌🏻💋

It really does feel like dancing with Doffy who isn't letting you go. 😌

making it my fanfiction author goal to end up on a list like this one day!

thank you for putting together such a comprehensive list, that's super useful for finding more good sanji fics!!

♥ Sanji/Reader Rec List ♥

40+ fics & authors suggestions! Click here to view this on a separate web page for easier navigation ♥

Sometimes I’m normal about fictional characters, other times I become psycho-sexually obsessed with them and relentlessly look for fanworks where they get smooched and hugged into oblivion. And by characters I mean Sanji.

So here’s a non-comprehensive list of Sanji/Reader fics that I love, most of them rated Explicit. This got sooo long because I kept finding other works to add while scrolling through my bookmarks and reblogs, it goes to show how good the fandom is! (Assume, unless otherwise stated, that Sanji is more on the sexually submissive side, since I like what I like and seek out that dynamic specifically.)

Authors I love

I’m starting this list with a few mentions of my favorite authors, although I’m sure I’m stating the obvious with most of these and you all know them already. Who cares! Go re-read their stuff! Leave a comment! Give them your money!

1. One Piece Works by @onlymurphy

Not to fall into hyperbole, but I owe OnlyMurphy my life. If you’re here reading this list then surely you love this author already, so this a good excuse to re-read the entire Grow Old With Me series. Sanji’s characterization is top-notch, and if you enjoy explorations of his self worth issues and how they would affect an otherwise loving romantic relationship then look no further. Also the author is a very talented smut writer (very talented writer in general, make no mistake), and that's the greatest accolade I can give them. Imagine me putting a gold metal around their neck but I’m the one who's moved to tears about it.

Honorable mentions for the filthiest-yet-very-romantic works in their catalog:

🌶 Do That Again

🌶 Wildest Dreams

🌶 If I’m Lucky

2. One Piece Works by @citrinae

I’m linking the masterlist for this author ‘cause I really like all their Sanji-centric fics, and I’d love, love, love to see more. Sanji is so princely and devoted, just an absolute dream of a man, and he’s putting a lot of effort into making the reader feel loved. He gets stellar results in my opinion.

3. One Piece Works by @thus-spoke-lo (GoldExperience86 on Ao3)

There are three fics in particular by this author that I couldn’t pick a favorite from if you held me at gunpoint: 

🌶 Let Me Help 

🌶 Worth the Wait

🌶 Dear Diary 

Have you ever read a sex scene so good you bypass getting horny and go straight into mourning, knowing you won’t be able to read it for the first time again? That has not stopped me from reading all these roughly a million times. Click on those links. Look at me in the eyes, listen very carefully: click on those links. I say this because I love you and want you to be happy. 

You will find other fics by them in the rec list because 1) I couldn’t resist and 2) I’m pretty sure they have more things posted on Tumblr than Ao3, at least as separate one-shots.

4. 🌶One Piece Fics by @untolduttering

Author, I know deep in my soul that you love Sanji as much as I do. Fortunately I’m okay with sharing. If anything I'm glad I'm not alone in the trenches.

Check out all her fics and snippets, her writing is incredible and I’ve loved every single thing about Sanji she’s ever posted. Each time I open Tumblr and I see a new post by her, my day gets a little brighter. She writes one of my favorite versions of Sanji ever, insatiable and devoted and so, so hot. He couldn’t be more my type if he tried. 

I want to single out her vampire!Sanji one-shot because I haven’t seen this trope used by anyone else and I liked it a lot! It fits so well, what with the theme of hunger and Sanji’s inability to ask for what he needs:

Hunger 

The meta post that inspired the fic

5. One Piece Works by @fanaticsnail

Fanaticsnail, you’re the only one who has ever made me willingly click on a smut fic that involved Doflamingo just because Sanji was there, too, and I love your Sanji so damn much (p.s.: everyone go read it, 🌶 Seat Number Four).

One of their fics also appears in the Sex Pollen section, and since that one is particularly filthy let me add here two fluffy, romantic fics where Sanji is all cute and flustered by the reader:

Kiss The Cook

Your Flirty Chef

Yearning & Pining

The title of the section is pretty self-explanatory: fics where and the reader are not together, but God knows they want to.

6. 🌶 Wanting by @froggiewrites

This fic…holy shit. I’m genuinely writing this with tears in my eyes. The yearning & pining & longing mixed with the sexual tension so thick you can cut it with a knife makes for a truly incredible read. Only for real Sanji lovers, if you’re not nodding along at each desperate thought the reader insert has about this man then I’m sorry but you’re only a casual Sanji liker.

7. 🌶 My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand by ladyhabanera

[screaming crying throwing up] no yeah I’m very normal about this fic, I like it a totally normal amount. In the Ao3 comments I say that “Sanji is so so dreamy—a heady mix of submissive and deeply romantic”, and then if you scroll a little you find my other comment which is just me yelling in all caps at my second reread. I not only stand by both, but I’m doubling down. 

8. Puzzled by @mynewblackdress

What a lovely series, and what a lovely trope…misunderstandings due to bad communication are as irritating and useless in real life as they are incredibly fun to read about. The reader is convinced that Sanji’s earnest compliments are his fucked up way of making fun of her, and it takes a while before they figure out that he means every word. Give it a read if you want a break from the sea of smut that I’ve added to this list, and you're the mood for opla!Sanji in particular. 

9. Sweet Confession by @softonshanks

I have one specific weakness that I’m glad to often see in fics: Sanji getting a hug while he’s busy cooking, and he’s all cute and flustered about it because he didn’t expect the affection.  And this fic has that + Sanji’s a pining mess for the reader, who he’s FWBs with despite the fact that he’s totally in love with her + she’s taller than him and he loves it. I’ve hit the jackpot. I’d love to see more Sanji fics from this author, so much so that I’m gonna ask her pretty please in Italian: Sara, ti prego, facci sognare.

10. 🌶 Your Name by @strawhatsoraya

Now, the one pining in this fic is me. Sanji and the reader are actually complete strangers, but if what appeals to you in mutual pining fics is the gut-wrenching depth of the feelings described, then I think you should check out this little one-shot. My notes on Ao3 are “Tfw when a pwp hits your id so well it bypasses making you horny and goes straight to suicidal”—do with that what you will. Also, check out the rest of this author’s fics and make a whole evening out of it.

Ft. Zoro

Get that stinky Mosshead out of my sight…no, wait, let him stay. I guess we can take turns on Sanji or something.

11. 🌶 Picture You by @froggiewrites

I don’t usually read Sanji fics where Zoro is heavily involved, but I’m glad that that didn’t stop me from clicking on this one (also, to be fair, they take turns on the reader. Well, the reader takes turns on them.) My note on the Ao3 bookmark is “God-tier sad horny Sanji characterisation”...couldn't have said it better, me from the past. 

12. 🌶 Shaken Up Hearts by @lyriumcoloredskies

Okay so I lied, maybe I do like it when Zoro is heavily involved, as long as it’s a collab to team up on Sanji. Sanji gets lovingly demolished in this one, but before he gets there he’s sad like a kicked puppy about not being allowed to kiss both you and Zoro. Who am I to say no to a heavy dose of Zosan in my het Sanji smut?

13. 🌶 Nuvole e Lenzuola by redtendou

This one’s niche because it’s written in Italian. I was stunned by the author’s ability to make a graphic sex scene actually work despite Italian’s atrocious sex-related lexicon–trust me, it’s a struggle. If you’re into Zoro and the reader ganging up on Sanji and you understand Italian, definitely give it a read.

Spa day for the soul

Fics where you take care of Sanji, or Sanji takes care of you, or where there are actual spa activities thrown into the mix. God knows this man needs some TLC once in a while.

14. 🌶 My Pampered Prince by @sheerxfiction

It’s Sanji’s turn to spend some time flat on his back on the kitchen table–it’s what he deserves. If you’re craving a brilliant smutty fic where Sanji gets pampered then you've foudn it, the reader take really good care of him in this one–and I have to give bonus points for the heavy dose of Sanji’s self-worth issues and the readersinsert fighting back against his refusal to get taken care of. Get loved, idiot.

15. 🌶 Shower Time by @chibieggplant

Cute, hot, sexy–I’m talking both about the writing and Sanji in this fic. He takes a shower with the reader and spends the entire time in disbelief that he gets to tenderly wash her body, feeling quite embarrassed by how into it he is, despite the fact that this an established relationship fic. And that’s how I like my boys!

16. 🌶 Vinsmoke Sanji: Not all Men are Rats by livingonadaydream

I love, love, love fics where Sanji gets pampered…but it doesn’t hurt to read the complete opposite once in a while. A very sweet Sanji makes sure that the reader gets a very happy ending.

First Time

We'll never know the canonical sexual history for any One Piece characters because Oda is, unfortunately, a coward. However I'm not surprised that Sanji is considered by many the most virgin to have ever virgined in the history of virginity—so here's a list of fics where you pop his cherry. Be delicate, please...he's very sensitive.

17. 🌶 Say When by @venomatically

This one has to be the first I tell you about. If you go check the comments on Ao3 you’ll find me absolutely losing my mind after my first read, and there’s no quick comment I can add here to fully explain how much I love this author, her writing, and–Good Lord in Heaven–the way she writes Sanji. He’s a virginal pervert. He’s got that dog in him and it happens to be a cute little puppy. He’s so sweet and adoring he can’t bear to tell you how often he thinks about fucking you. I need someone to invent him in real life, it’s not even funny anymore. (Also, if you like to see Sanji actually get a little depraved, check out her other fic, too: 🌶 Letting Off Steam)

18. 🌶 Lust by @tetzoro

Ooh, this one’s hot. It starts so poetic and romantic, but as Sanji loses himself in the feeling the descriptions get more carnal. I love his POV here. Also it involves one of my favourite things ever: the readers starts on top but when it gets too good Sanji can't resist and he flips her over to do all the work himself. Who else cheered?

Sex Pollen

While writing this rec list I realized I have at least four sex pollen fics where Sanji eats something he shouldn’t and then…I wanna say “regrets it”, but the consequences are that he has hot sweaty sex with someone he’s really into. If he were to notice the trend I think he might start putting the wrong thing in his mouth on purpose.

19. 🌶 It’s a what flower?! by @sanjifucker42069

From the blog name alone I knew I’d found a kindred spirit. They have written for both the animanga and OPLA, and to be honest it’s hard for me to pick a favorite work. That’s a lie, this one’s my favorite. The author has a great sense of humor, and this fic in particular is both very funny and incredibly hot. I love how desperate and pathetic Sanji gets, and how hard the reader insert is trying to keep things PG before it becomes obvious they just have to fuck! Good problems to have if you ask me.

20. 🌶 a fever you can't sweat out by @cryocandy

I remember reading this one day right before work. My shift was about to start, and I was sitting by myself in the car reading the smoking hot sex scene for no good reason at all, ensuring that I wouldn't be able to focus on anything productive for the rest of the day. Sanji in this fic is so dreamy and cute and pathetic, all qualities enhanced greatly by the amazing writing. If you don’t think you like fuck-or-die fics, do yourself a favour and read this one anyway. 

21. 🌶 Needy Boy by @maddddstuff

My note on Ao3 for this one was “Single-handedly made me into spanking btw, if you even care”, and I stand by it. He’s the one that gets spanked by the way, in case someone was in doubt.

22. 🌶 Someone Help Me by @fanaticsnail

Sanji’s a mess in this one. A total and complete mess, and I loved every word of it–also, since in the first part Sanji is struggling against the effects of the sex pollen all on his lonesome, this fic might also appeal to my fellow Sanji whump fans.

Dom!Sanji & Co.

Just because I have a preference for Sanji being a sub it doesn’t mean I will scoff at fics where he’s more dominant in bed. Here are the ones I stumbled upon that I’ve really liked! (Also I’m using the term “dominant” very loosely here, in some of these fics he’s simply more assertive in bed.)

23. Too Much (Take Me Home) by @secretwritingspot

This is THEE dom!Sanji series for me. There’s no sex in it, it’s more of an exploration of the sub/Dom dynamic and why someone would crave submitting to another person. Sanji finds himself in the dominant role with little warning, but he’s damn great at it in his usual adoring and tender way. I’m linking the first fic of the series, but the author has written more for this scenario!

24. 🌶 Leg Day by 1LucaCola1

The title says it all; fantastic premise for a smoking hot pwp fic. If I had the opportunity to train and make good use of Sanji’s expertise, I’d also push myself too far until my legs were shaking, and then let him do other things to me to make the shaking even worse.

25. 🌶 very professional nights by @missfrustration

Ugh, I love this one! Sanji is your superior at the Baratie, and he’s so very stern with you until he isn’t at all. Love the bait and switch of a Sanji whose professionalism makes him act a little cold when clients’ satisfaction is on the line but simply melts when he’s alone with the reader. And everything he ends up doing to the reader in this fic, I’d hardly call a punishment.

26. 🌶 Doodled Hearts by Twisted_Inkwell

Soft dom Sanji fucks you hard but he’s sweet talking to you in French the whole time. I don’t know what else to add to convince you to read this one, that should be plenty.

In the kitchen

To fuck the cook, you’ll have to look for him in his natural habitat. Then you can proceed to ruin the kitchen table for everyone else.

27. 🌶 Midnight Snack by BombasticBastard

This fic is a part of a Sanji/Reader/Zoro series, but I’m linking Part 2 where it’s just you and our lovely boy. As the title says, the reader is craving a midnight snack and goddamn, she gets the best one the Sunny’s pantry has to offer. This could also go in the Dom!Sanji category because he quite literally talks you through it, as the kids say nowadays, but he also showers the reader in compliments & he confesses his love, so overall he’s too much of a big ol’ softie to call him dominant in any way.

28. 🌶 All It Takes by mooseskulls

Reader catches Sanji being the pervert that he is, stolen underwear and badly-hidden moans included. This one has both a gender neutral version and a transmasc!reader one, I thought that was lovely–this way lots of different people can enjoy the “getting bent over the kitchen counter” scenario. 

29. 🌶 Compliments to the Chef by @tigreblue

The Author says this is their first fic–if that’s the case, they’ve got a bright future ahead of them. We all know Sanji doesn’t easily accept love and gratitude, but some good ol’ finger-sucking ought to convince him. Things degenerate beautifully from there.

Dark(er)

By darker I mean that I’m adding here fics where Sanji is something other than an absolute sweetheart. You’ll understand how actually dark any of these fics are from my comments and the authors’ tags, but they all have the general vibe of “Sanji is a sleazy pervert” in varying degrees of illegality.

30. 🌶 appetite by @groubee

Ooh…this one’s fucked up. Sanji is an unreliable narrator that makes non-con somnophilia sound kinda cute, actually (it really isn’t.) In his defense he’s written as some sort of incubus-slash-sex-demon. The author doesn’t go into detail but they don’t need to, it’s all about the sickly sweet mood (emphasis on sickly) of a tender lover who’s also a horrible, horrible person.

31. 🌶 Letting Off Steam by @venomatically

He’s a freak in this one, but he’s soooo nice about it and he’s soooo thankful that you’re letting him be a complete pervert who can get away with waking you up by stroking his cock over your face. 

32. 🌶 Smile for the Camera by @thus-spoke-lo 

This one broke my heart and turned me on at the same time, I give it a full five stars. It’s a short and sweet one-shot where Sanji breaks down all your walls and then does the same to your trust in men…enjoy!

33. 🌶 Compliments to the Chef by @thus-spoke-lo

I realize only now that this fic and Smile for the Camera are by the same author. That’s not gonna stop me from reccing this little series, too–in the notes on Tumblr you can see that this was written for a “sleazeball collab”, which should tell you something about Sanji’s characterization. While reading this I felt like that lady in the comic about sexual harassment on the workplace…like yeah maybe I would be okay with it if the guy was hot enough. And by workplace I mean a shitty restaurant, and by guy I mean Sanji in the role of the line cook who smokes too much and is very transparent about wanting to bang you on the counter where lunch service is prepared.

34. 🌶 Use me by moosetracksandscenechanges

This fic! My God! I’m adding it here not because there are hard kinks or morally dubious dynamics between the characters, but I still think it fits. It has its sad moments due to a generally darker atmosphere and a more aloof version of Sanji (not that aloof, still recognisably himself)...but also he willingly gets tied to a bed. Sub Sanji lovers stay winning. My hopeless romantic heart hopes that Sanji and the reader will actually get together, but there’s a lot to love about the fwb dynamic they’ve got going on right now. A bittersweet read in the best way.

35. Conjugate the Ways by @secretwritingspot

Oh, Sanji has a foul mouth in this one, but he’s speaking French so he’s forgiven…also the reader has no idea what the hell he’s saying to her. It’s creepy in a cute way! The fic doesn’t include actual smut, it’s just Sanji fantasizing out loud about the things he wants to do with you, but if you’re in the mood for some good ol’ sexual tension, give it a read.

36. 🌶 Ma chérie by marriedtosanji

He lied to you! About being French, of all things! I would never forgive him. He’s really good in bed though, so he makes up for it. The smut here is so delightful it does a 180% and goes back to breaking my heart over the fact that I’ll never meet a cute stranger in a bar who wants to seduce and is also Mr. Sanji Onepiece himself. 

Voyeurism

I swear this isn’t even in my top 10 kinks, I guess that Sanji’s character simply inspires a lot of authors to put him in situations where he’s staring. Watching. Ogling. Observ–you’ve got the gist of it. 

37. “It’s entirely too obvious [...]” by @ofallthingsnasty

[giggling and kicking my feet] the reader makes Sanji sweat cold in this one…I love when he’s nervous, I love when he’s desperate for forgiveness! He doesn’t do anything bad, but the fic is all about him watching the reader eat and obviously liking it a bit too much. The mood is suggestive but overall it stays pretty innocent until the end.

38. 🌶 Voyeurs by snackshack

Thank you Zoro and Nami for your help in making this happen, we couldn’t have done it without you. Sanji and the reader are in a freak4freak relationship, a match made in Heaven. Very good smut and a delicious premise!

39. 🌶 Perversion by glossyjoonie

@Sanji: babygirl you suck ♥ Short and sweet fic part of a larger collection (there are other Sanji-focused chapters, check out those ones, too!) where Sanji gets caught spying on all his favourite ladies: Nami, Robin, and you. Robin sticks around for a while in this one, but in the end the reader is the one who shows Sanji what happens to boys who misbehave.

40. 🌶 Just Between Us by @mytanuki-kun

This man is always spying on you in the shower, in bed, from behind a bush or whatever…it’s about time he gets a taste of his own medicine. I adore this fic, I remember reading the first chapter and hoping the author would update as soon as possible because I was hooked. Sanji catches you ogling him in secret and he plays into it cause he’s a horny bastard and the love of my life. The writing is incredible and Sanji’s characterization is so, so dreamy and sexy and adorable.

That’s all, folks. You have enough material to survive a nuclear war, you can spend many happy decades closed in your bunker eating canned food and reading reader insert One Piece fanfiction. 

My final, desperate request is this one: does anyone have the link to a Sanji fic where he’s 40 years old and he hired a babysitter (you) for his kid, but then one night the kid is somewhere else and you two end up hooking up? Please? Pretty please? I think it was part of a collection or series but I can’t find it anywhere!

Zombie Apocalypse AU (Eustass Kidd)

Summary:

Modern AU in which Kidd is more or less happily married. Content warning includes HEAVY SPOILERS so enter at your own risk: Heavy cursing, zombies, impending doom, people dying, angst, horror, grief, murdering your loved ones, explicit violence, violence towards small children, death, typical zombie apocalypse stuff. That said I think as far as zombie apocalypses go this is some pretty vanilla stuff. But then again I literally do not consume any zombie media whatsoever, so what do I know.

"Seriously, you never listen to me. You're suppposed to pick Stevie up from kindergarden today." 

"Babe, I told you, I'm working late today. I gotta finish up today's job, the client's been all over my ass for this, he's been hounding me for the past week non-stop." 

"How is your job more important than our ONLY son?!"

"That's not what I'm saying! But I'll run into big trouble with my boss if I just ditch work today!" 

"It's not what you're saying, but actions speak louder than words. You spend every single day at that damn garage. Do you even know what your son looks like anymore?"

The conversation replays in Kidd's head over and over on his drive to work. Of course he cares for Stevie. Of course he does. His wife Becka just doesn't realize how hard he works every single damn day to pay the bills for both of them. Not like she knows what that's like, she's been staying at home to care for Stevie for the past few years. Which honestly, he resents her for a bit. He'd rather get to spend some time off of work and in the company of his son too. She's right. He knows what his son looks like of course, but he feels so damn estranged from him that it makes him want to punch something. Shitty fucking money and the need to earn it. 

It's not even that he dislikes his job. He loves being a mechanic, but his boss is a proper asshole. Kidd's been dreaming about opening up his own mechanic workshop for years. The "Damned Garage", he'd call it. That way all the wussy clients would be scared off by the name alone and he wouldn't get as many idiots coming to his garage. That was the idea at least. 

During his work day, he manages to forget about the argument by throwing himself into his work. Usually his lunch break is around 1pm, but he puts it off by two hours, having felt the need to make sure that he finish one particularly stubborn piece of repairs first. He grabs his lunch and phone, sitting down in the workers' room at the table, biting into his sandwhich heartily as he turns on his phone to check for anything new happening. 

A sharp feeling of guilt stabs through him when he sees five missed calls from Becka. Shit. What if something had happened?

Without bothering to read his messages first, he calls her immediately. It takes painfully long for her to pick up and boy does she sound pissed when she does. 

"Kidd. Why the fuck didn't you respond?!" 

"Becka. I'm so sorry, I only just saw. What's wrong?" 

"Everything is wrong. Stevie is sick. I called you to pick him up. But of course you didn't fucking answer." 

"Sick? What do you mean, he's sick? What's he got?"

"I don't know! I'm at the doctor's. His breathing is really shallow." Her harsh tone finally mellows as a choked sob comes through the phone. "I'm scared, Kidd. He collapsed at kindergarden today and he's barely conscious. I don't know what the hell is going on. He seemed fine this morning. The caretaker said he sounded like he was choking on something before he collapsed." 

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Which doctor? I'm on my way." Kidd leaves everything where it is, grabbing his car keys and making his way to his car. He'll explain this to his boss tomorrow. 

Becka gives him the address of the children's doctor she's at. When he sits down in his car, it won't start. 

Why won't it start? He's a mechanic, he regularly checks over his car, almost religiously. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Start up you damn bitch!", he yells and slams his fist against the dashboard. Somehow, that makes the engine splutter to life. Sounds like it's got some issue, but that's the last of his worries right now. He needs to get to Becka and Stevie. The car damn well better hold out til then or he'll hijack any that he comes across. He doesn't fucking care right now. He grew up as a lowly street thug and he's not shy about using that knowledge when it counts. 

The streets feel oddly crowded for a tuesday afternoon. It shouldn't be rush hour yet, yet he gets stuck in one jam after the other. He clenches his fist so tightly that his nails start digging into the palm of his hand painfully, leaving angry, red marks. The pain distracts him from his worries at least a little. Just collapsed. Why would Stevie just collapse? If he was choking on something, maybe it was an allergy or some shit? Not that he was aware of Stevie having any. Then again, it was usually Becka, who prepared the meals for both of them, who knew this kind of shit. 

His fingers drum against the steering wheel impatiently. Fuck, fuck, fuck. If only he had his bike here, he'd be able to weave through the traffic without having to wait so damn long. 

It takes him what feels like hours to get even just two blocks further. That's when he sees a couple on a motorbike on the lane to his right. This is his chance. 

He gets out of his car, ignoring the incessant honking that follows him as he makes his way over. Before either of the two notices what's happening, he's pushed them off their bike. 

"Sorry, emergency!", he yells, but he doesn't feel very sorry as he revs up the bike and starts on his journey towards the doctor's address. 

He leaves his car standing there in the middle of traffic. Fuck if he cares, he just needs to make sure that Stevie's okay right now. The police'll be all up his ass over this later anyways, it won't be any issue returning this bike. It's a good bike, he reckons, nice bit of horsepower below him. 

The couple had been some idiot goody two-shoes anyways, respecting the traffic rules to much to weave in between the jammed cars to get to their destination. He definitely deserved it more right now. 

When he finally gets to the doctor, it feels like something out of a nightmare. People are screaming as they're running out of the building. 

"What the fuck is going on?!", he yells at the passers-by, but none of them are willing to answer. He curses once more, running into the building, calling up Becka's number once again. 

Fuck. "Cell phone service not available", his screen reads. Then why the fuck is he paying them a damn fortune for his contract every month?!  

Inside the house it's chaos too. Everyone seems to be trying to get out all at once, making Kidd need to punch his way inside. 

He gets yelled at for this plenty but he's easily able to block off any punches and kicks that come his way in retaliation. None of these people actually know how to fight, unlike him. 

"BECKA?! BECKA!", he screams once he's inside. "BECKA, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

But he's not sure that she'd be able to hear him over the chaos all around in the first place. He keeps shoving people out of his way as he makes his way to the first floor. Something in his gut tells him that if Becka isn't one of the people running outside - and he hasn't seen her amongst those, at least - then she'll be at the epicenter of whatever the fuck is going on right now. 

She'd be slowed down anyways, having to carry their son. He's sure he would have spotted them if they'd been part of the crowd rushing past him seeing as his tall frame is towering over most of the panicked individuals, but he can't be perfectly sure. 

Most of the people seem to already have cleared out of the first floor when he finally makes his way up there. He tries again. "BECKA?! BABE, ARE YOU HERE?"

He doesn't hear anything in response, but what he can hear is what sounds like the pounding of fists against a wall and muffled sobs. 

He makes his way towards the source of the location, his gut churning with worry. This feels like a damn fever dream and not reality. 

When Kidd gets to the room the noises are coming from, he stops dead in his tracks. There seem to be a half-naked man and child pounding against a door? 

"Oi, what the fuck are you-", Kidd starts up, but stops as they turn around when they hear his voice. 

Their faces are all but covered in ugly green pustules, red around the edges and oozing something that's either blood or pus, he's too disgusted to want to look closely. 

Yet he can't bring himself to actually look away either. They just stand there, staring at him, not replying, not responding in any way and Kidd's pretty sure that this is the eeriest thing he's ever experienced. 

His face falls on the young boy. Must be around Stevie's age, though it's hard to make out any of the boy's features granted there's a giant, welting pustule right above his left eye, covering all of it and even some of his skin below, amidst a face that looks almost burnt in how red and wet the skin looks. 

Kidd's just barely able to keep down the retching motion that his throat wants to make at the sight. He's seen some shit - especially during his time on the streets - but never something quite as disgusting as this. 

"Daaaaa.... ddy?" The boy suddenly says. Kidd freezes in his tracks. The voice sounded so slurred, so wrong, like the words had been forced out with great strength. But he'd recognize that voice anywhere. 

"S-Stevie? Is that..." He can't bring himself to finish the sentence. It can't be. This must be some kind of really fucked up nightmare. It can't be true. 

The boy walks towards him slowly, dragging his feet, one of his arms spasming uncontrollably at his side. Fuck. What the hell kind of disease was this? Where was Becka? 

If only he'd had his fucking phone turned on. He should have been here so much sooner.

And who the fuck was the man whose shirt was torn apart at the front, standing beside this monstrosity that bore Stevie's voice? 

The man still hadn't said anything. He tries to now, but all that comes out is a weird, indecipherable gurgle. Kidd wants to run, run as far as he can and leave this shitshow behind. 

But what if that is in fact Stevie? He can't just leave his baby boy behind. Not when he's clearly suffering from whatever kind of fuck-ass disease this is. 

Kidd crouches down, trying to not appear as disgusted as he feels. "Stevie, baby. Where's mommy?" 

"Daaaaaaaaddy." Again, the creepy, slurred voice. Stevie can talk full sentences, so what the hell is this about? Is the disease affecting his brain in some way. 

"Yes, baby, it's me." He nearly has to throw up as he accidentally breathes in too deeply, the rotten scent filling up his senses and making him dizzy with disgust. 

"Kidd?", a female voice suddenly sounds, slightly muffled. It sounds like it's coming from behind the door that Stevie and the man had been pounding against. 

Kidd feels like he can suddenly breathe a little easier. "Becka? Shit, is that you?"

"Yeah. Be careful. The doctor attacked me." 

"Wait, that fuckass dude is a doctor?", Kidd asks. 

Just then, the man tries to speak again, but it's a weak gurgle once more. Even Kidd's kid can speak better while afflicted by whatever the fuck this is. 

Kidd tries to ignore him, focusing on Stevie. "Baby. We'll take you to the hospital, okay? 's gonna be alright. Please don't be scared." 

But taking his focus off of the man seems to have been a mistake. As Kidd is still crouching down in front of Stevie the man seems to undergo some sort of change, his entire body convulsing seemingly at random where he stands, odd, disturbing noises coming out of him. 

Before Kidd can really react the man's suddenly flung himself at Kidd. Thanks to his well-honed reflexes, Kidd manages to let himself fall backwards to do a roll and get out of the man's reach just in time. "What the fuck is your problem, dude?!", he yells at the apparent doctor. 

But when he sees the doctor's face, a cold shiver runs down his spine. His eyes are turned so far back in his head that only the white can be seen anymore and he's coming for Kidd yet again. Kidd lunges for the stool standing in the middle of the room, needing something to defend himself with so as he won't get in direct touch with the disgusting pustules covering all of the man's face and upper torso. 

When the man lunges for him once again he crashes the stool into him, the flimsy wooden construction breaking apart and leaving Kidd with nothing but its two legs in hand. "Fuck!", he curses once again. 

The man seems momentarily paralyzed but goes for Kidd again immediately after recovering his bearings. 

"I'm gonna hurt you if you don't stop this shit!" Kidd's warning feels redundant at this point, but part of him still wants this shitshow to just stop, for the man to calm down and everything to return to normal. 

Kidd parries the man's uncoordinated yet strong attacks by smashing his two sticks against the man's attacking arms. He doesn't even make any sounds of pain, doesn't seem to react much to what must be brutal bruises forming on his arms, he just unrelentingly tries to attack Kidd further. 

A part of Kidd that isn't focused on the fight right now but on protecting Stevie is devastated that his little boy needs to see this shit, but it can't be helped. 

When the man simply refuses to abate in his attacks, Kidd starts bringing down the stool legs on his head repeatedly, jumping out of the man's reach any time he tries to grab him, desperate not to want to get in touch with whatever this fucking disease is. After countless brutal hits and the man's head actively starting to be deformed, he finally goes down. Kidd's arms are hurting from how much power he had to exert as he stands there panting, a disgusting mix of blood and whatever else was coming out of the man and his pustules on his makeshift weapons. 

He lets them fall to the floor as he then turns to open the door that Becka had been hiding behind. Becka jumps into his arms, holding onto him and sobbing desperately, clearly having been terrified out of her mind. 

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.", she keeps repeating, trembling wildly. 

"Is okay. I've got you.", Kidd reassures her, holding her in his strong yet exhausted arms. "I'll always protect you." 

Becka takes a while to calm down in his arms, but he needs that time nearly as much as she does. This is certainly not how he'd expected a visit at the doctor's with Stevie to go. But if Stevie had the same thing that the doctor had...

He can barely finish that thought as Becka suddenly gasps in pain. 

"Becka?!" Panic floods him within seconds. Becka stares down in horror, looking at her leg, which Stevie had bitten into with all of his might. 

He was so small and yet he seemed to have exerted so much force that he'd not only bitten through the fabric of her trousers, but into the skin underneath as well, drawing blood. 

"OW!", Becka yowls, kicking her leg to try and throw Stevie off in panic, but to no avail, he's latching on like a rabid dog. 

"FUCK; KID!", Kidd yells and grabs Stevie, trying not to get in touch with the disgusting stuff covering his body but unable to avoid it entirely in how much force he needs to exert to drag Stevie off of Becka. Even then he needs to grab his mouth and pry it apart to get Stevie to stop biting into his mother. 

He throws Stevie off, positioning himself in front of Becka in case Stevie tries to go for her again. Why the hell does he need to fight his own kid? What the fuck? 

Becka hisses in pain, trying to inspect her leg. 

Normally Kidd would never speak to his child like this, but he's so angry and overwhelmed that he can't keep his cool. "What the fuck, Stevie? How could you attack Becka!" 

Stevia doesn't seem particularly dazed at having been thrown off, getting back up, his one visible eye rolled back, only the white visible. "Mommyyyyyyy...... hurts....." 

Kidd can't help the tears welling up in his eyes at seeing his son in this condition. He'd hurt him. He'd hurt his beloved Stevie. But he had to defend Becka. What choice did he have in this impossible situation? 

"Becka, are you alright?", he asks over his shoulder, trying to keep an eye on Stevie even as he checks in with her at the same time. 

"Hurts like a damn bitch, but I'll live.", is the quick reply. 

"The fuck do we do?", Kidd asks her. What could they even do? 

"We need to lock him in somewhere and get help. I don't know what's happening to him. I don't know how to help him." 

Kidd can't see Becka's face either, but by the tone of her voice, she's definitely crying too. 

"Fuck.", he curses. "Stevie, do you understand what I'm saying?" 

He pushes Becka backwards a bit behind him as Stevie keeps approaching them again. "Huuuuuuurts....", the little kid groans. 

He doesn't know how to do this. If he grabs Stevie there's a good chance he'll be bitten too. With the doctor from here already on the ground unconscious - or in the worst case, dead - it might be a while before they were able to get help again. He needs to make sure he'll stay as uninjured as possible to take proper care of Becka, who might already struggle to walk with her leg now. 

So he picks up one of the stool legs again, a grim expression on his face. 

Becka nearly chokes on her spit as she sees this. "Kidd. Kidd, oh god, no. You can't hurt him!" 

"He's not going to listen to us right now, babe. I need to protect you." 

"That's our baby!", Becka pleads desperately, grabbing the back of his shirt to shake him. 

"I'll be careful.", Kidd replies gravely, shaking her off. 

Stevie tries to lunge for him but because of Becka's location being right behind him he can't dodge, so he has to block the attack with the stool leg. Part of him crumples and dies at having to hurt his own flesh and blood by beating against his wildly flailing arms and legs like this, but his survival mode lets him focus on the fight at hand first of all. 

Kidd goes on to take the initiative, pushing Stevie back towards the room Becka had previously been in with a flurry of feigned and real attacks. 

Stevie doesn't respond to the feigned attacks at all, not flinching back from them at all as one normally would have based on their reflexes. 

Kidd has already seen enough to know that something's seriously fucking wrong, but that's the nail in the coffin for him. 

He can only push Stevie back into the room by actively hitting him. Normally his little boy had been so weak, never one for being super sporty and preferring to draw and sing when the other kids ran around yelling and having fun, so he has no idea where all of this strength is even coming from. 

He can't bring himself to think about how much he's injuring the poor little child's frail bones, how much this will hurt Stevie when he's back to normal. 

Finally, he manages to slam the door shut right in front of Stevie's face, turning the keys over quickly. 

He hadn't even really noticed it during the fight itself, but now he realizes that tears are streaming down his face, actively blurring his vision. 

Kidd turns back around to Becka, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible, but she backs away hobbling from him when he gets closer. "You monster! How could you attack our little boy! You filthy, filthy pig! You bastard!" 

She keeps screaming, hurling insult after insult at him. 

Kidd just stands there and takes it. It hurts him deeply to see his wife saying such hurtful things to him, but he can't blame her. God if he doesn't hate himself for doing what he's done just now as well. 

"Becks...", he starts up but is quickly shut up by her screaming at him again. 

He can tell that she's starting to work herself into a state of hysteria so eventually he can't take it any longer, walks up and wraps his arms around her in a hug, even as she starts pounding her fists against his chest, still screaming at him for being such a horrible monster. 

She continues for quite some minutes before finally calming down, her screaming quieting down into miserable sobs. 

"I'll always protect you.", he mumbles into her hair, breathing in the scent desperately to try and calm himself, to find some semblance of normaly in this fucked up situation. 

He hadn't wanted any of this. He hadn't wanted his promise of protection to turn against the very product of their love, their only child. 

He surpresses his sobs, only allowing his tears to stream down freely as he holds Becka with all of his remaining strength. She needs him right now, more than she's ever needed him before, more than she ever would have needed him in a normal life without this kind of fucked up situation. 

Just saw this, checked my last line written and it's fun enough to repost here imo!

"Sometimes you feel like you really just aren't meant to sleep with this man-child of a captain. Fate seems to have conspired against having Trafalgar Law lose his virginity." 

It's from Cook-ya's Self-Indulgence where we had Law disassembling himself in the last chapter. It got a bit wild!

Going to go with the option of tagging anybody who wants to join too! Don't want to leave anyone out ^-^

WRITING GAME post the last line that you wrote

Thank you to @bettystonewell for tagging me! This is the last line I wrote. Currently, I am still writing my 'Woman of Letters' series, (28k words and counting).

“Where’s Dean?” You asked, your voice soft and full of hope.

Again, I don't have many mutuals, so I will just tag my favorite accounts: @deansbeer @dulcescorderitas @sammyluvr @buckysbabygorl @lovelybarnes

No pressure to anyone I tagged!

Doflamingo and LoveyBug enjoying the breeze in the Dressrosan Sunflower Fields.

(Background is taken directly from the anime! I ain't messing with those. Nuh-uh.)

This is the very first finished One Piece animation I didn't trace the anime and manga for! Yay!

Drawing Doflamingo from behind did make things a lot easier, sure, but I'm personally very proud of how much more comfortable I've become in trusting my skills to just wing it entirely.

Variants:

Doflamingo on his own (no LoveyBug)

Sudden onset of Realism

Luffy x Kidd - An Alliance over meat

They get along so long as Luffy has the meat

Once Kidd has stolen the meat...

"Gumo Gumo no... Bazooka!"

In case of Victory

One Piece Dream Recollection

I spent all night in my dream travelling through the country Doflamingo reigned in (not Dressrosa, some other one) with Law, doing our best to work towards bringing Doflamingo down.

The first fight against Doflamingo was absolutely catastrophic and nearly got the both of us killed.

Luffy was working towards our fight somewhere too but I never really saw him in person.

Kidd then appeared, apparently Luffy had helped him out of a pinch and so he'd agreed to an alliance. Kidd had seen Luffy give orders to Law so Kidd was eager to help Law as Luffy's apparent subordinate, taking orders from his alliance member. (Law did not like that one bit and the two bickered quite a lot!)

Law was already roughed up pretty badly at this point so Kidd went to fight Doflamingo on his own.

Kidd stood a much better chance than Law had beforehand - maybe because Doflamingo had already spent some of his energy, because Kidd was able to keep a clearer head instead of being so hyperfocused on revenge like Law or just because I simp for Kidd harder.

Either way it was an incredibly intense fight and the two went at it for hours.

Doflamingo used parasite to control Law to fight against Kidd for him, Kidd being attacked by both of them at the same time which made things even more difficult for him.

Law then - for whatever reason - decided to break Kidd's metal hand. Which makes no sense, but alas, dream logic. For some reason it hurt Kidd whenever the metal hand was broken and severed from his arm.

At this rate Kidd was quite worse for wear so he laid on the ground panting as Doflamingo set out to explore how the metal hand worked, being rather curious about the fact.

Through some means or another he froze the hand first of all, which was a wise idea seeing as it self-destructed and set off quite a few explosions that had been built in.

Through the ice encasing it nobody got hurt from that.

In my dream I stood there, nodded and thought "so this is why Kidd got roughed up so badly when Shanks attacked him, his metal arm self-destructed as well on top of everything".

Doflamingo was screwing the metal arm open further, trying to figure out its secrets. He was so interested in finding out what was inside that you could have thought one of the ancient weapons was stored away in there but we never found out because suddenly Benn Beckman appeared.

Why him, you ask? No fucking clue, I've never had a more anticlimactic dream in my life. Pretty pissed at my subconscious for choosing a character I actively dislike here.

Beckman then proceeded to fight Doflamingo with all he had and boy it was rough for Doflamingo. For some reason Beckman was miles and miles stronger and faster than him. Doflamingo felt looked down upon so he completely lost it.

Beckman kept cutting through his strings so Doflamingo used his awakened devil fruit to turn the very ground into strings as well, trying to gain the upper hand through this.

He used his "Spider Web" to deflect attacks but was eventually defeated rather unceremoniously.

Beckman then disappeared as quickly as he came.

When I later strolled through the town - Kidd and Law recovering from the fight - I came across Mihawk, sitting on the back of an oxen cart on top of a huge eagle (Lord of the Rings Style). Right beside him a really cute eagle baby. He was drinking some wine - or maybe some other alcoholic beverage - straight from the bottle.

When asked by the villagers why he was here, he responded that the baby eagle didn't like the drinks they had at the eyrie, so he was here to buy drinks for the baby.

I very unfortunately woke up after this but oh my god that was such a fun, wild ride!

Happy birthday, Killer! Here's a playlist for his birthday. Enjoy!

Now youtube is a bit of a total bitch nuisance when it comes to uploading playlists, so I keep having to delete more and more songs out of it to make internationally accessible.

Which is why I've put the mp4 and mp3 versions of these playlist up on Google Drive! Feel free to download them and watch them from there. The mp4s are all in 480p with a low bitrate to make sure none of them exceed 1GB (having been up to 8GB of size before I reduced them!) but the mp3s are of course way smaller as well.

All of my playlists are over there - Ace, Kidd and Killer!

Without further ado, let's get into why I chose the songs for Killer!

GIFS + TEXT CONTAIN SPOILERS UNTIL (INCLUDING) WANO!!!!

1- Nobody's Soldier - Hozier

Killer's epiphet is "massacre soldier". I don't know if that's an epiphet he chose himself or if it was given to him, but in my mind it's like with Zoro's "pirate hunter" epiphet - it was given for some particular reason in the past, but doesn't necessarily fit anymore now.

I found this song while watching an absolutely incredible Ace AMV and really like it for Killer.

"Running with bulls, working my miracles" - Kidd as a bull, Killer keeping him back from any reckless decisions

"Choose between being a butcher or a pauper Honey, I'm taking no orders, I'm gonna be nobody's soldier" - The Kidd pirates don't take orders from anybody and neither does Killer just blindlessly follow Kidd's orders

"Sick to my skin, watching the news again Whatever you choose, you lose out in the long run" - Parallels with Killer being offered the smile fruit by Orochi to save Kidd

2 - Naked - Avril Lavigne

This one's for Killer's relation with Kidd, for whenever Kidd gets to know what Killer looks like under the mask and Killer starts to feel comfortable with that. Now that I think about it, it might as well apply to the entire crew.

I think there's a lot of vulnerability in Killer's insecurity about his face and laugh and this song captures that very insecurity perfectly.

"I wake up in the morning Put on my face The one that′s gonna get me Through another day

Then you came around me The walls just disappeared Nothing to surround me Keep me from my fears I′m unprotected See how I've opened up Oh, you've made me trust Cause I′ve never felt like this before

I'm trying to remember Why I was afraid To be myself And let the covers fall away Guess I never had Someone like you (To help me) To help me fit In my skin"

3 - Numb the Pain - Clarx, Catas, Le Malls

This song is one I've chosen for Kidd as well. I think it fits the tough survival game that is the Grand Line well. Being a pirate ain't all that easy, especially with being up against some absolute freaks of nature. The Kidd pirates are all about picking themselves back up after having been beaten down and Killer is no exception to this.

"Now It's much harder to laugh Hard to get up and then work on my craft Feel like all of you hate me Everything's been so hard with all the situations lately Well maybe I'm done, maybe I've lost Still putting up a fight because [...]"

4 - Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

This one's another one of the vulnerable songs. Not wanting to be seen by the world may be a little very on the nose, but it still fits, dammit!

"And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am"

5 - I found - Amber Run

Another vulnerable addition! This one sounds romantic on the surface, but I believe that it is a lot more extensive than that.

You could interpret it as his romantic love towards Victoria, the song's sad tone fitting her demise, or you could interpret it as the familial love of having a found family amongst the Kidd pirates, or single it down to the platonic love he shares with Kidd as the best of best friends. In which case the sad tones may relate to losing said found family / best friend.

"And I've moved further than I thought I could But I missed you more than I thought I would" - this passage could relate to Victoria!

"And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be Right in front of me Talk some sense to me"

6- Hero - Skillet

This song sounds pretty punk-ish to me. (Not that I know literally a single thing about punk music!) It's more on the rock side of things and fits fighting vibes well. I'm not sure who he'd be the hero for in this case, but there's definitely themes of not giving up and fighting to the end in the lyrics so I'll call it a good fit, like it or not!

7 - I deserve to bleed - Sushi Soucy

This one is a little painful. It's a lot about self-hatred and being so desperately unhappy with your own looks that you'd want to harm yourself, something that I think for Killer would be amped up to the extreme by the effects of the smile fruit.

Poor man! Please let them have nice things at some point again, Oda-sensei.

8 - I'm gonna win - Rob Cantor

Yet another Grand Line survival song! Am I choosing all of these for Killer because I feel like I don't really know his personality yet? Perhaps. Very likely. I need to do some in-depth research for this man.

I guess it's also a good matchup song for any of his fights, namely the one with Hawkins.

"But I'm gonna win, I'm gonna try I'll never lose, I'll never die You've seen me before, you'll see me again I'll never give up, I'll never give in 'Til I'm bloody and bruised 'Til I've broken my bones 'Til I won't be abused 'Til I'm laughing alone

It's hard to be charming and smart and disarming It's hard to pretend you're the best It's hard to fulfill everyone's expectations It's hard to keep up with the rest"

9 - In the End - Linkin Park

Another song for fighting! Looking at recent developments (not saying anything because the spoilers in here are for Wano) it rings even more true.

10 - Wonderful World - Chase Holfelder

This one's a complete turnaround on the initial theme of the song - it's way more disheartened and far more angry! Far more fitting of a battle-hardened "soldier" than anything joyful.

11 - Misery Business - Paramore

Paramore has the perfect type of vibe for the Kidd Pirates and you cannot change my mind.

Also it makes me very happy to have "matching" songs between artists for Kid and Killer. I originally had "Ain't it fun" from Paramore on the playlist too but don't deem that as fitting enough (and it doesn't match the other songs well enough in my opinion!)

Can we talk about how absolutely sick this gif is? Whoever animated this, I love you from the bottom of my heart.

12 - Behind Blue Eyes - The Who

Themes of insecurity, vengeance and sadness + blue eyes + saw a Killer artist make an artwork with this song = part of the Killer playlist!

13 - The Pretender - Foo Fighters

It's angry, it's rock and it's either about Killer fighting somebody he considers a pretender or fighting himself, considering himself a pretender, being hidden away under the guise of his mask!

Or something something Kamazo (I haven't watched Wano yet I cannot possibly talk about this without making a fool of myself)

14 - Breaking my Bones - Friday Pilots Club

"For all of the stars to come down" - I like to think of this as a metaphor for bringing down all of the established order, making Kidd the new king of the pirates.

I like the vibes of this song for him and once again it's about fighting, picking yourself up and giving it your all! ... I feel very unimaginative having chosen so many of the same type for him. Sorry, Killer fans!!

15 - Body Terror Song - AJJ

I did really go all out with the "body shame" for this Killer playlist, this last addition not being an exception to the rule. I guess in a way a lot of these vulnerable / insecure songs are ones that I could see Killer listening to himself rather than just matching his vibes as I was able to do a lot better within my Kidd playlist.

16- Tracks of my tears - Flying Pickets

I really like this song for Killer for his post-smile fruit state of being.

"Although I might be laughing loud and hearty Deep inside I'm blue So take a good look at my face You'll see my smile looks out of place

If you look closer, it's easy to trace The tracks of my tears

I need you, need you

Outside I'm masquerading Inside my hope is fading Just a clown oh yeah Since you put me down My smile is my make up"

It is a love song technically, but you can definitely read the "I need you" as him needing his crew, their unconditional support to be able to live with himself.

I do love the idea of the smile being makeup as well, or just generally having makeup addressed feels pretty fitting for Killer.

Honorable mentions

Ain't it fun - Paramore (jealous vibes)

I need a hero - Bonnie Tyler (being a little dramatic)

Kokopelli Face Tattoo - AJJ (very out there, along the body lines)

Choke - I don't know how but they found me (more aggressive vibes)

Thank you so much for reading this awfully, awfully long post about why I chose each respective song!

I wish I could give you better explanations on a lot of these, but a lot of them are more chosen by gut feeling rather than "I actually know and understand this character and will make fitting choices".

I don't know if there IS a lot of Killer lore I just haven't seen in the anime yet or if I'm just as oblivious as the rest of you, but heyho.

This has been my attempt at a Killer playlist, I'm out!

Onigiri's Hedgehog Adventures!

He's never letting go of that tentacle.