Well, Today In Particular I Just Saw That You Were Responding To Me Rather Quickly, And I Didn’t Want

hi it’s green again 😙

i’ve been thinking a lot about han and his line on the volcano song: “yeah you can hurt me, i don’t care / yeah you can burn me / yeah you can hurt me, i don’t care / yeah you can burn me / unlike those who run away from you, i’ll embrace you”

i just think it’s so raw and so so beautiful, but i have no idea what to write with it. try as i might, i can’t come up with a solid idea right now. so i was hoping you could? i loved what you wrote for my last request, so i thought of you ❤️

Bittersweet

Pairing: Bestfriend!Han Jisung x gn!reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Mentions of getting burned and stabbed (figuratively)

Words: 601

Summary: Jisung could never shake his crush on you, even when you were younger. His feelings grew with each passing second. But, as they say, love is painful.

A/n: This ignited something within me, because I immediately knew I wanted to do a forbidden love type of thing, and I wrote this all in one sitting. Uhh, hope you like it! Thank you for being so amazing, green!

Volcanos are one of life's most dangerous beauties. They erupt glowing orange lava that you could stare out for hours, but get too close and you'll get burned. The best you can do is watch from a safe distance. It's a bittersweet experience, really. You get to witness something so beautiful, and while that may he enough for some people, it's not enough for others.

That was the one word that always popped into Jisung's head when he was with you: volcano. You are the most beautiful person he's ever known, and he always feels warm around you... but he knows he can't get too close. You're his best friend, you have been for years, but he can't get too close. Not when he knows what would happen.

You're not his- this is something he had to come to terms with years ago when you got together with your current boyfriend. No matter how much he wishes he could have you for himself, finally be able to bask in your warmth without worrying about the consequences... he can't.

So he has to force himself to be content with just being your best friend. Someone you have and love, but not in the way he wants. He can't touch you or hold you in ways that he dreams of, and while that crushes his heart, he knows it's for the best.

Seeing you smile when you talk about your boyfriend is such a bittersweet experience. He gets to witness your beautiful smile, but he knows he's not the cause of it. He knows that someone else, someone who gets to kiss you and hold you the way he's only ever dreamed, loves you and has you forever.

The worst part is, you're right there. You're so close yet so far, and it breaks him into pieces. He gets to be near you, and talk with you until the sun goes up, but he doesn't get to truly show you how much you mean to him. How much he thinks about you every day and every night of his life... because you're not his.

_________________________________

"Hannie, look what my boyfriend got for me! He remembered that I was looking at this sketchbook when we went to the mall, so he got it for me. Isn't that so sweet? He also got me a new pack of markers to go along with it," you spoke with a wide grin on your face, which made Jisung smile in return, even though he had to bite his tongue.

Every time you spoke about him, gushed about him, he felt like he was being stabbed in the heart. Each new gift he got you was like a twist of the knife, and he felt himself bleed out. You gave him life, with your warm smile and beautiful eyes, but you also killed him, slowly.

"That's thoughtful of him," he spoke softly, his eyes scanning over your features like he has thousands of times. Despite the fact that he has every little detail of you memorized, he still takes his time to make sure your face was tattooed into his brain. As if he was nervous you would slip away from him at any moment.

So yeah, you hurt him every time you talked about your boyfriend, but you also cured him like no other medicine could when you smiled or laughed. He knew he couldn't have you in the way he wishes he did, but he was okay with that. Because like a volcano erupting beautiful lava, he had to watch from afar.

Or he would be burned.

Can you write a fic for Hyein telling her how beautiful she is. I saw someone say she called herself ugly on a live and I feel so bad that she doesn't see how drop dead gorg she is

Hey! Thank you for the request! It’s absolutely ridiculous that she thinks she’s ugly when she’s quite literally anything but. She’s so beautiful and she deserves to feel like so, and I hope this piece portrays that! ── ( 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 )

──── *ੈ♡⸝⸝ THROUGH MY EYES

( 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ) ( 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ) ( 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ) ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 ) 2.9k

minho stirs awake from his nap as he feels you climb onto him, your head already head resting on his chest as you wordlessly snuggle in. you’ve draped another blanket over the two of you, the one he fell asleep with still caught between your bodies now. he squints at you just a little, reaching up to pat your head as he slowly processes everything.

“long day?”

you only snuggle in closer to him. “mhm.”

he gets that. he pats your head once more and then wraps his arms around you. “just a short nap,” he mumbles. “then i need to get up. you can nap longer without me, okay?”

“mmhm,” you just shift a little for a final time, pressing your ear firmly against his chest. with a sigh, you relax against him as you listen to his heartbeat. “goodnight, my silly minho.”

another day, he’ll tease you for saying it so early in the day. this time, he just smiles a little to himself and closes his eyes. “goodnight, my silly love.”

Oh Merin, I’m so so glad you enjoyed this 🥹 Thank you so much for all the support you’ve given me for all this time and for the patience, you’re seriously such a treasured gem 💕🫶

🎇 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 ( stray kids )

❛ You and your lover, Changbin, explore the depths of your relationship through an intimate art session, where Changbin’s skin becomes your canvas for emotional expression.

𝐬𝐞𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐧 + g. neutral reader ೯ ( 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 ) 2.8k

꒰ 💌 ꒱ ミ This piece was requested a while ago by my beloved mootie, Merin! It was such a sweet prompt, honestly, and I am really happy with how it came out. Requests are currently open! I hope you guys enjoy, reblogs and feedback are much appreciated! ── ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 )

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: MDNI, Established relationship, Y/N is afraid of initiating any kind of intimacy, I would consider this to be vague smut — maybe it should be labeled as suggestive? Probably not actually, romantic sex, making a mess with wet paint during sex, descriptions of anxiety, let me know if I missed anything!

( 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ) ( 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ) ( 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 )

꒰ 🫙 ꒱ ミ Tip Jar!

“You have to turn around or I won’t do it,” you huff with feigned annoyance, a thin veil over your mounting anxiety. The words come out sharper than intended, a desperate attempt to mask the tremor in your voice. Changbin pouts, his lower lip jutting out in a way that’s both endearing and maddening, but he complies, turning his back to you. The playful pout is a façade, a small rebellion against the uncertainty that lingers in the air between you.

He had asked you to use him as a canvas, an unusual request that was meant to surprise and unsettle you. The idea was simple in theory but fraught with emotional complexity. During your free time, painting was your solace, a means to escape into a world where you could create beauty out of nothing. You were accustomed to painting on your own skin, using it as a blank slate for your artistic expression. But this situation was different. Changbin, your lover, was not just a body; he was a living, breathing embodiment of your deepest feelings and insecurities. His presence was electric, a constant reminder of the power he wielded over you with the slightest glance or touch.

The mere thought of painting Changbin was both thrilling and terrifying. His skin, normally the subject of your artistic fantasies, now became the canvas upon which your emotions would be laid bare. Each brushstroke would be an intimate declaration, a blend of color and sensation that went beyond mere artistry. The stakes felt incredibly high, and the vulnerability you felt was almost overwhelming. It wasn't just about the painting; it was about the raw, unspoken exchange of trust and affection that came with it. As you prepared your paints and brushes, the flutter in your chest spoke louder than words, a testament to the profound impact Changbin had on your life.

Eventually, all of your painting supplies were meticulously arranged, a testament to your preparation and anticipation. The array of colors and brushes, each placed with care, awaits the moment when they will come to life. Despite Changbin’s back being turned to you, despite the full control you have over this artistic endeavor, and despite the gentle, tender nature that defines him, an inescapable fear grips you tightly. It’s a fear that seems to rise with each breath you take, a curse that has followed you through the months of your relationship, even after four years of friendship.

You still find it nearly impossible to initiate any form of intimacy, a struggle that feels like a heavy weight on your heart. Changbin, ever perceptive and understanding, is acutely aware of your struggle. You can't help but wonder if this request to be your canvas was his way of gently nudging you past your barriers, a subtle invitation to confront your fears. The sight of his toned, bare back, illuminated by the golden sunlight streaming through your windows, is almost too breathtaking to bear. The natural light caresses his skin, highlighting the contours and making him look like a living masterpiece.

You reach for the paintbrush with a hesitant hand, your fingers trembling despite your best efforts to steady them. Each brushstroke will be a step toward bridging the gap between your fears and your desires. The internal turmoil roiling within you feels almost insurmountable, yet Changbin remains a pillar of patience and quiet support. His silence is filled with anticipation, a silent encouragement that heightens the intensity of the moment. As you begin, his breath hitches, a subtle reminder of the vulnerability and trust that this act of painting symbolizes.

“Don’t think, love,” Changbin murmurs softly, his voice a gentle whisper that seems to float in the space between you. There is a delicate fear in his tone, as if the very act of raising his voice might shatter the fragile bubble of intimacy you both are nestled within. His words are meant to soothe, to gently guide you through the swirling maelstrom of anxiety that threatens to engulf you. “Let your hand decide what to do first, like it does with every other painting.”

His encouragement is tender, a quiet plea for you to relinquish the hold of overthinking and simply trust in your own instincts. The way he addresses you, with such care and understanding, reveals his deep awareness of your inner struggle. The idea of allowing your hand to move freely, unburdened by conscious thought, is both comforting and daunting. It’s a call to embrace the organic flow of creativity, to let your artistic instincts take the lead just as they do with every other canvas.

In his gentle insistence, there is an underlying promise of safety and acceptance, a reassurance that you are not alone in this moment. His soft voice, laden with affection, is a beacon that guides you through your hesitation, offering a pathway to overcome the fear that clutches at your heart. As you absorb his words, you feel a shift within, a subtle easing of the tension as you prepare to let your hands move with the grace and freedom that Changbin so patiently encourages.

You exhale shakily, a soft, uneven breath escaping your lips as you close your eyes for a fleeting moment. The brief respite is a small sanctuary from the storm of emotions raging within you. With a deep, albeit hesitant, breath, you allow the brush to make its tentative contact with his back. The sensation is both thrilling and disconcerting, a tangible reminder of the intimacy you’re trying to navigate.

Your heart pounds erratically, lodged firmly in your throat, as if each beat is a protest against the simplicity of the act. The sensation of the brush against his skin is strangely overwhelming, and you can’t help but feel a touch of absurdity at the intensity of your reaction. The thought strikes you with a sting: why should something so seemingly simple provoke such a profound response?

You frown at the self-criticism, a mix of frustration and self-doubt clouding your thoughts. The very act that should be a natural extension of your creativity now feels like an insurmountable barrier. You remain frozen in place, the brush hovering delicately against his back, your mind tangled in a web of conflicting emotions and the weight of your own insecurities.

“First contact, good,” Changbin says softly, his voice filled with genuine warmth and encouragement. His praise, though directed at the simplest of actions, carries a weight of sincerity that pierces through your anxieties. The way he acknowledges your effort with such kindness and appreciation makes your heart swell with a mix of emotions.

Each word of praise from him feels like a tender caress, a soothing balm to your frayed nerves. It’s as if his approval alone has the power to lift the heaviness from your shoulders. Yet, amidst the comfort of his support, a pang of sorrow tugs at your heart. You can’t help but feel that Changbin, with his unwavering patience and boundless kindness, is deserving of so much more than you can offer.

The realization settles heavily within you: he is too good, too pure, and his affection for you only highlights the depth of your own insecurities. The disparity between his gentle, unselfish nature and your own self-doubt feels almost unbearable. As you grapple with the bittersweet ache of his praise, the profound sense of his worth and the feeling of inadequacy intertwine, leaving you with a lingering ache for him and the love you fear you might not fully deserve.

“I can’t do this,” you sniff, your voice trembling as you pull the brush away from his back. The words are more a cry of frustration than a simple admission of difficulty. Your hands feel unsteady, and the weight of your own insecurities feels almost too much to bear in this moment of vulnerability.

Changbin remains motionless, his presence a steady, reassuring anchor in the midst of your turmoil. Despite your agitation, he does not waver. His voice cuts through your self-doubt with a calm and unwavering reassurance. “You did good, love, you made the first contact — now keep going.”

His encouragement is gentle, yet insistent, a soft nudge to continue despite the internal resistance that threatens to pull you away. The words carry an undercurrent of faith and support, a reminder that progress has been made and that there is a path forward. Changbin’s steadiness provides a counterbalance to the storm of emotions within you, his calm demeanor a beacon of hope as you grapple with the feeling of inadequacy. His trust in your abilities and his unwavering patience offer a precious glimmer of confidence, urging you to overcome the hesitation and embrace the next step.

You found yourself caught between two conflicting desires: the longing to touch him, to feel the warmth and softness of his skin beneath your fingertips, and the impulse to abandon the entire exercise in a wave of self-doubt. It was a precarious balance, and every moment felt fraught with the tension of your inner struggle. Yet, it was Changbin’s gentle, affirming praise that kept you tethered, a constant reassurance that dispelled the doubts threatening to hold you back. His words, tender and encouraging, provided a steady anchor amidst the churning sea of your uncertainties.

Changbin’s beauty, so striking and profound, seemed almost overwhelming in its intensity. The sight of him, so effortlessly captivating, made it difficult to process your own emotions. The paintbrush in your hand danced across his back with a new fervor, as if guided by an unseen force. The vibrant hues of oranges and yellows spilled across his skin, transforming his usually plain canvas into a vibrant display of color and emotion. The image you painted was a burst of fireworks, a visual symphony meant to capture the depth of the feelings he stirred within you.

Occasionally, your free hand would find its way to his back, a tentative gesture that spoke volumes more than words could. It was a gesture of closeness and reassurance, a small but significant effort to bridge the gap between your hesitations and his unwavering support. Each touch was a deliberate step towards overcoming your fears for his sake. As you put the final touches on the painting, a sense of accomplishment washed over you. The work, now complete, was a testament to the emotions Changbin had evoked and a reflection of the journey you had navigated together.

After admiring and praising your work through the bathroom mirror, Changbin returned to kneel before you, a look of dazed contentment lingering in his eyes. The intimate moment you’d shared while painting him had left an imprint on him, and it was evident in the softened, reverent way he now regarded you. His voice, barely more than a murmur, was tinged with a gentle, almost reverential tone as he took your hands in his and requested you to touch his face.

The intensity of his gaze was nearly too much to bear, a silent plea that seemed to pierce through your defenses. You almost refused, the weight of his unspoken emotions making it difficult to act. In a bid to soften the moment and manage your own trepidation, you asked him to close his eyes. His response was immediate and graceful, a serene smile playing at the corners of his lips as he complied with your request.

Your hands trembled slightly as you lifted them to cup his face, the act both intimate and nerve-wracking. The contact was met with an immediate reaction — a shiver that coursed through his body, a physical manifestation of the deep emotional connection that had been kindled between you. The sensation of his warm skin under your trembling fingers was both grounding and electrifying, a testament to the vulnerability and trust that had been shared in this quiet, tender moment.

The shoulders were your next focus, and your fingertips traced their contours with a delicate touch, as light as a feather. Each movement was deliberate, a gentle exploration that sent ripples of sensation across Changbin's skin. You watched intently as goosebumps emerged, spreading across his body in response to your touch. Despite the palpable reaction, his eyes remained closed, a gesture of trust that deepened the intimacy of the moment.

Changbin's hands rested calmly on his knees as he continued to kneel before you, his posture a silent testament to his patience and willingness. He didn’t shift or flinch, his stillness adding to the weight of the moment. It was an experience that was both terrifying and exhilarating, a profound blend of emotions that left you on edge and in awe.

As you allowed your hands to move freely, a newfound sense of power and connection emerged. You ventured across his chest, tracing the ridges of his biceps and the smooth planes of his belly. Each touch was a discovery, a chance to map the landscape of his body and to feel the subtle changes in his breathing and muscle tension. The freedom to explore his skin, to feel the warmth and texture under your hands, was both a privilege and a revelation, marking a deepening of the bond you shared.

Eventually, a surge of bravery propelled you forward, and you allowed your lips to gently meet his. The contact was electric, an immediate and fervent exchange as he responded to your kiss with equal passion. Changbin sighed contentedly into your mouth, his lips moving with a depth and intensity that mirrored the emotions swirling between you. You surrendered to the warmth and connection of the moment, letting him lead the kiss as you immerse yourself in the shared intimacy.

As the kiss deepened, the atmosphere shifted, and soon the two of you found yourselves on the ground. The transition was both spontaneous and fluid, a natural progression of the intimate exchange that had begun with your kiss. In the heat of the moment, your hands, which had once traced delicate patterns on his back, now inadvertently smeared the artwork you had so carefully created. The paint, which had once been a canvas of emotions, was now spread across both your bodies.

Your hands roamed freely, exploring every inch of his skin, while he moved with a rhythm that was both euphoric and synchronistic. The paint became an unwitting participant in your passion, staining your bodies as you both lost yourselves in the ecstasy of the experience. The ground beneath you was forgotten, replaced by the intense connection and shared vulnerability that defined the moment.

His rhythmic movements were a symphony of whispered confessions of love, each tender murmur sending your mind drifting away on a cloud of pure pleasure. The combination of his words and actions created an overwhelming yet exhilarating sensation that filled every corner of your consciousness. Each whisper was a thread weaving into the fabric of your shared ecstasy, intensifying the connection between you.

The melodies of your intertwined breaths and muted moans became the only sounds that reverberated through your apartment, a private concert of intimacy and passion. The room was enveloped in the hushed symphony of your bodies moving together, a melody of love and desire that seemed to echo off the walls.

A thin layer of sweat formed a glistening sheen on both of your skins, the evidence of your fervent connection. The last rays of the setting sun cast a warm, fading light that mingled with the dimming hues of night, creating a soft glow that highlighted the tender vulnerability of the moment. As the daylight surrendered to the encroaching darkness, the scene became a portrait of intimate beauty, a snapshot of a night filled with profound emotional and physical connection.

It was no surprise when you both reached the pinnacle of your shared experience simultaneously. The strained, almost primal sounds that escaped you both were a testament to the overwhelming, all-consuming pleasure that enveloped you. The intensity of the moment was almost too much to bear, a crescendo of sensation and emotion that left you breathless.

Amidst the euphoria, the purity of the love you had just shared became palpable, stirring emotions so deep that tears began to roll down your cheeks. Each tear was a manifestation of the profound connection and overwhelming affection you felt for him. Your heart ached with a fierce love, and you found yourself wanting to express it with every fiber of your being.

He responded to your silent confession with words of his own, his voice tender and filled with sincerity. As he kissed away each tear that stained your cheeks, his eyes held a softness that you had never seen before, a gentle radiance that spoke of the depth of his feelings. A tender smile curved at his lips, amplifying the beauty of the moment. His presence was nothing short of devastatingly beautiful, and in that intimate, vulnerable space, you felt a profound sense of gratitude and disbelief at your fortune. To have a lover so deeply attuned to you, so wonderfully perfect in your eyes, was a gift you could scarcely believe you had received.

꒰ 🏷️ ꒱ ミ Permanent taglist: @agi-ppangx @sunnyrisee @jisunglyricist (Click on the link to join! All you have to do is answer a few questions to help me stay organized!)

🍉 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE! DAILY CLICKS! STAYBLR FUNDRAISER!

this one is so cute omg 😭 now i want chocolate cake tho

thank you for tagging me 🩷

no pressure tags: @setoffthewolves @perfectlyoongi-main @seung-mong @minholover1 @skzstan12345 @sunnyrisee @m-oonfloweer @oisoupita @lostinmycolor @literarybaby @bittcrsvveet @ncpe @alexs-mardy-bum @matryosika @cheesetteok @astraysimp @zeroeightzeroone @wolfrockstar @christronomy @ddyskz + anyone else who wants to join!!

new picrew dropped, stolen from the besties over on nsfvv twitterrrr

make yourself here: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1712061

this is me in all my soft glory (the background options are fucking hilarious btw)

tagging (without any pressure): @stayconnecteed @hyunsvngs @hyunjins-dimples @cinhomi @cbini

Small Announcement from Green !

For those who do not know, I have an ongoing series called I Can’t Change (Bisexual!Felix x Male Reader). It’s about the Reader’s journey while in conversion therapy after being caught at a secret queer party.

Anyway, I have been feeling a little bit stuck with said story and I really couldn’t figure out why until recently. There was, admittedly, a lot of lack of planning on my part. However, I think I have a more solid idea of what I want out of this story. That means, though, that I will be deleting the chapters I have posted so far, rewriting them, and then posting them again.

It makes me sad to have to do this, truly, but I feel this is the best solution for me if I want to salvage this story and actually finish it. Hopefully, the rewrites can be done quickly and I can post them as soon as possible and carry on posting newer chapters. Hopefully!

Thank you to everyone who’s supported my series, it’s meant the whole world to me. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but I hope to make it up to you 💕

how about these two for the game👀

🤬👻

also im sorry i havent been here for a while, life's been hectic lately😭

—👒

👒!! HELLO!! Trust me when I say that I understand so you don’t have to apologize. How are you doing though, hun?

( 🤬 ) Is there a WIP that you hate?

Oh, I have about a hundred that I physically wince whenever I think of them. There is one in particular that I have a special kind of dislike for, though maybe it’s because it’s the most recent cringe-worthy fic.

It’s untitled, and it felt very 2014 Wattpad (in the worst way possible, in my opinion). Anyway, so it was meant to be a Changbin x female Reader. Basically, the reader was supposed to be some kind of illegal racer and meet Changbin at this hotel bar and they kind of have a one-night stand and then reader takes him to one of her races and love blooms from there. They continue on dating, for a while and Changbin keeps getting in the car with her but then they crash and one of them gets amnesia and— honestly it was just a lot of chaos after that. The plot didn’t really make sense, and it was just…well it was just shit.

( 👻 ) Is there a scene that you find intimidating that you have yet to write?

Deadly Craving was supposed to be posted a few days before my 21st birthday but I never did because the core of the one-shot was something I’d never tried to describe in writing before and it turned out that I didn’t know how to.

Have you ever had sex while tripping on shrooms? And I don’t mean casual sex, but sex with someone you really connected with it only for a night. Have you done it with someone of your same sex, in a bedroom full of pride flags and queer music blasting? I have, and it was an experience that transcends all and any kind of vocabulary I might use to describe it. Sex while sober is beautiful especially when with the one you love and I know how to describe that. But even though I am fluent in three languages, I have no idea what to say when it comes to describing sex while on shrooms.

Anyway, Deadly Craving is a fic with a female reader and a member from (G)-Idle, Soyeon.

Wanna join? Here’s the WIP Game!

i think that we as a collective have a very important responsibility to ensure that zionists are be remembered by history with the same shame and disgrace as nazis. we owe the palestinian people at least that much.

i find it quite embarrassing to those who are aware of the genocide but choose to remain silent. using the “i don’t get involved in politics” line as an excuse for your ignorance is absolutely shameful. this is a GENOCIDE that has been going on for decades. please do better.

💐 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ( xdinary heroes )

❛ As you step into a new, more masculine identity, your nerves are eased by the unwavering support of your friends and boyfriend.

𝐤𝐰𝐚𝐤 𝐣𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤 + trans boy reader ೯ ( 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 )

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9k 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞: 7 mins

꒰ 💌 ꒱ ミ This is probably one of my favorite pieces I've written, it was so self-indulgent as a masc non-binary fan of XDH, so I absolutely adored this request (made by my wonderful 🩷 Anon! I hope you guys enjoy, reblogs and feedback are much appreciated! Requests are currently open! ── ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 )

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Established relationship, Y/N recently came out as a trans guy, mentions of wearing a binder for the first time, the rest of the members of Xdinary Heroes are dressed femininely to support you since it's the first time you go out in public dressed so masculine, mentions of anxiety, mentions of people staring.

( 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ) ( 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ) ( 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 )

꒰ 🫙 ꒱ ミ Tip Jar!

You anxiously pace around your apartment, your steps quick and uneven, a reflection of the turmoil inside you. The clock on the wall ticks loudly, each second echoing your mounting nerves. Every few moments, you dart back to the mirror, adjusting the binder Jiseok had surprised you with and smoothing out the more masculine clothing you’ve chosen for the first time. The reflection staring back at you is both unfamiliar and oddly liberating, but the anxiety still gnaws at you like a persistent shadow.

Jiseok, lounging on your couch, watches you with an expression that blends amusement and tenderness. His phone lies forgotten in his hand, abandoned in favor of observing your restless movements. His eyes, filled with warmth and affection, follow your every step, a silent but reassuring presence amidst your growing apprehension. Despite his frequent reassurances that you look undeniably handsome, the unease remains, a gnawing uncertainty that refuses to fade.

This moment is significant for you, a departure from the familiar into uncharted territory. The binder and the new style represent more than just a change in wardrobe; they symbolize a step toward embracing a more authentic version of yourself. Yet, even with Jiseok’s repeated affirmations, the anxiety of stepping into this new self is palpable, a heavy weight that clings to your chest.

You cast another glance at your reflection, searching for flaws, for something that might unravel the confidence you’re trying to muster. The mirror shows a version of yourself that feels both empowering and vulnerable, a delicate balance that is hard to navigate. Each adjustment of your clothing, each smoothing of your hair, is an attempt to find comfort in this new skin, but the anxiety persists, whispering doubts into the corners of your mind.

Jiseok’s eyes, however, remain fixed on you, his amusement softened by a deep, unwavering support. His presence is a quiet counterpoint to your inner turmoil, a constant reminder that you are not alone in this journey. Though the anxiety continues to gnaw at you, the steadfastness in Jiseok’s gaze and his gentle reassurances offer a flicker of hope and a promise of acceptance.

Suddenly, your lifelong best friend and boyfriend excuses himself into your bedroom. You barely have time to wonder why before a knock on your front door interrupts your pacing. Heart racing, you sprint to answer it, only to be rendered speechless by the sight before you. While you had expected to find your friends, you hadn’t anticipated their striking transformations.

Gunil stands confidently at the forefront, his cropped top revealing a sliver of toned midriff, and his eyes accentuated by grungy makeup that sharpens his features. His bold look radiates a daring defiance, setting the tone for the unexpected ensemble before you.

Jungsu catches your eye next, sporting a mid-thigh length plaid skirt that sways slightly with his movements. His shirt is neatly tucked in, giving him a polished yet rebellious air, and his hair is adorned with colorful clips that contrast playfully with his otherwise composed appearance. The sight of Jungsu, usually so serious, embracing this vivid and whimsical style stirs a mixture of surprise and admiration within you.

Seungmin’s outfit is equally captivating, his cropped top paired with a flowing black skirt that grazes just above his knees. The eyeliner framing his eyes adds a dramatic flair, highlighting his expressive gaze. The combination of soft and edgy elements in his look mirrors the complex layers of his personality, leaving you both intrigued and impressed.

Hyeongjun, in a long denim skirt you've seen him wear before, exudes a quiet confidence. His hair is styled into a half-up, half-down look, softening his features and adding a touch of elegance to his casual attire. The familiar yet refreshed appearance of Hyeongjun brings a comforting sense of continuity amidst the surprising changes.

Finally, Jooyeon stands out with his short plaid skirt paired with fishnets, his hair styled into playful space buns. The juxtaposition of the classic plaid and daring fishnets creates a bold statement, and the space buns add a whimsical charm to his look. Jooyeon's daring fashion choice radiates a fearless confidence that resonates with your own journey of self-expression.

As you take in the sight of your friends, each embracing their unique styles with unapologetic confidence, a wave of emotion washes over you. The anxiety that had gripped you moments ago begins to melt away, replaced by a profound sense of camaraderie and support. Their bold transformations echo your own struggle and triumph in embracing your true self, reminding you that you’re not alone in this journey.

Your heart swells with gratitude and admiration for your friends, who have shown up not just in presence, but in spirit, celebrating your courage with their own. The sight of them, so different yet so authentically themselves, fortifies your resolve and fills you with a renewed sense of confidence. With a deep breath, you step forward, ready to embrace the evening with the unwavering support of your lifelong friends by your side.

"You all look amazing," you manage to say, still trying to process the vibrant array of styles before you. As they step inside, your eyes remain wide in shock and admiration. Their response is immediate and heartwarming; they shower you with genuine compliments, each remark about how handsome you look in your new style making your cheeks flush a deep crimson. The sincerity in their voices and the pride in their eyes fills you with a warmth that eases your earlier anxiety.

Just as you begin to relax into the moment, you hear Jiseok clear his throat dramatically behind you. Turning around, you gasp at the sight that meets your eyes. Jiseok stands there, still wearing the striped sweater he had on before disappearing into the bathroom, but instead of jeans, he’s now donning one of your old, long black satin dresses underneath the sweater. The elegant fabric sways slightly as he moves, creating a surprising yet strangely harmonious blend of casual and formal.

The absurdity of his outfit doesn't stop there. Perched atop his head is a plastic tiara, catching the light and adding a whimsical touch to his ensemble. His lips shimmer with glittery lip gloss, completing the playful and unexpected transformation. The sight is both ridiculous and endearing, a perfect encapsulation of Jiseok's ability to make you smile even in the most unexpected ways.

A light chuckle escapes your lips as you take in the full extent of his getup. The laughter bubbles up, mingling with the lingering remnants of your earlier anxiety, and suddenly, the room feels lighter, filled with an unspoken understanding and acceptance. You step forward, closing the distance between you and Jiseok, and press your lips against his in a tender kiss. The glitter from his lip gloss transfers slightly, adding a touch of sparkle to the intimate moment.

As you pull back, your eyes meet Jiseok's, and the look you share speaks volumes. In this small, affectionate gesture, there is an acknowledgment of the journey you've both been on, the courage it took to embrace your true self, and the unyielding support you have from him. Surrounded by your friends, all uniquely expressing themselves in your honor, and with Jiseok by your side, you feel a profound sense of belonging and love that fortifies you for whatever comes next.

Once the flurry of compliments had settled, you all made your way out the door, heading to a nearby restaurant as planned. The group walks in unison, a vibrant parade of diverse styles and unapologetic self-expression. As you move through the streets, you notice the curious and occasionally puzzled glances from strangers. However, the once-daunting stares no longer feel as terrifying with your friends and boyfriend by your side, their bold attire a testament to their unwavering support.

Gunil’s grungy makeup and cropped top, Jungsu’s plaid skirt with colorful hair clips, Seungmin’s flowing skirt and eyeliner, Hyeongjun’s elegant denim skirt and styled hair, and Jooyeon’s plaid skirt with fishnets and space buns create a striking visual that draws attention. Despite the occasional odd look, there is an undeniable sense of solidarity that envelops you, making the world feel a little less intimidating.

The endearing sight of your friends and boyfriend dressed so uniquely to support you fills your heart with warmth. Every step you take is lighter, buoyed by the camaraderie and love that surrounds you. The anxiety that had once gripped you now feels distant, replaced by a profound sense of acceptance and belonging. 

As you approach the restaurant, the looks from passersby seem less significant, their judgmental gazes overshadowed by the strength and unity of your group. Your heart swells with gratitude, knowing that these extraordinary individuals have not only embraced their own authenticity but have also empowered you to embrace yours.

The evening air feels crisp and invigorating as you walk together, and with each passing moment, the bond between you and your friends deepens. Their willingness to step out of their comfort zones and dress in a way that challenges societal norms just to support you is a testament to their love and friendship. The thought fills you with an overwhelming sense of pride and joy.

Jiseok’s hand remains firmly intertwined with yours throughout the entire walk, his touch a comforting anchor amidst the sea of emotions swirling within you. Every so often, he leans in close, his breath warm against your ear, and whispers how ridiculously handsome you look, how he can’t get over the transformation. His words are like honey, sweet and soothing, each one sinking into your heart and settling there.

He tells you how obsessed he is with you, his voice filled with a sincerity that makes your heart flutter. Each declaration of his pride in you, his honor to be your boyfriend, sends a fresh wave of warmth coursing through your veins. The intensity of his feelings is palpable, wrapping around you like a protective cocoon, and you can't help but blush profusely at each affectionate confession.

With every step, Jiseok’s grip on your hand tightens ever so slightly, a silent reassurance of his unwavering support. His presence, his whispered affirmations, create a bubble of intimacy amidst the bustling streets and curious onlookers. It’s as if the world fades away, leaving just the two of you wrapped in a moment of pure connection and love.

His words are a balm to your anxiety, each one meticulously chipping away at the insecurities that have long haunted you. The way he looks at you, with eyes brimming with adoration and pride, makes you feel seen in the most profound way. It’s not just about the clothes or the outward changes; it’s about the courage to embrace your true self, and Jiseok's endless support amplifies that courage tenfold.

Every time he leans in to murmur his adoration, your cheeks heat up, a blush spreading across your face. The sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, makes each compliment feel like the first, filling you with a sense of joy and affirmation that you hadn’t realized you needed so desperately. 

As you walk together, hand in hand, Jiseok’s unwavering support and constant reassurances weave a tapestry of love and confidence around you. His pride in you is evident in every word, every touch, and every glance. With each affectionate whisper, the bond between you strengthens, reinforcing the belief that together, you can face anything the world throws your way.

By the time you reach your destination, the anxiety that had once threatened to overwhelm you has dissipated, replaced by a profound sense of love and belonging. Jiseok’s constant reminders of how handsome you are, how proud he is of you, and how honored he feels to be your boyfriend, have fortified your spirit. Blushing and beaming, you step into the restaurant with him by your side, ready to face whatever comes next, knowing that with Jiseok's love, you are unstoppable.

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