"I Promise To Keep It On If I Can Kiss You,"

after the finale of the mandalorian i cannot stop thinking about all the little fucking faces Din makes bc that bitch was on the brink of death and managed to make a face at IG’s joke, do not tell me he doesn’t make the littlest fuckin faces when someone says smth rude or dumb. no i will not take any criticism

Pietro tattling to Magneto about Wanda and Vision

Pietro: Daaaaaad, Wanda is dating a robot!

Magneto: Haha, very funny.

Pietro: His name is the Vision and he is an Avenger.

Magneto: ... WANDA!!!

“I’m that hopless romantic with a sex drive through the roof typa person.”

— c. z.

Why did I waste 2 hours of my life making this video? Because I can. BEHOLD.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/720364902873179886/

Regarding Wotans

Paring: Zoro x Reader

Raiting: Explicit (minors DNI)

Summary:

You and Zoro are no secret.

The rest of the crew don’t address it directly, but they know. To others, the two of you are normal crewmates. You laugh and drink together, you fight and protect each other. You bicker and argue with each other. There are no obvious displays of affection that just any passerby can pick up on.

But the crew sees you give Zoro your extra servings of meat at dinner. They see the way Zoro is always aware of your movements when you’re in his vicinity. The hushed conversations, shoulder to shoulder and leg to leg.

There is no big announcement, no celebration. You and Zoro just are.

Or so Usopp thought.

-or- You and Zoro get into a fight about something stupid. Naturally, the crew gets involved somehow. Ends with smut.

A/N: Listen ya’ll, I am a diehard ZoSan fan, they are my OG ship and I will ship them until the day I die. But for some reason, my hetero side was really screaming at me to jot this down. So here ya go. Crossposted on Ao3.

Tags: strawhat shenanigans, female reader-insert, established relationship, squirting, aquarium sex (if that's a thing), make up sex.

---

You and Zoro are no secret.

The rest of the crew don’t address it directly, but they know. To others, the two of you are normal crewmates. You laugh and drink together, you fight and protect each other. You bicker and argue with each other. There are no obvious displays of affection that just any passerby can pick up on. 

But the crew sees you give Zoro your extra servings of meat at dinner. They see the way Zoro is always aware of your movements when you’re in his vicinity. The hushed conversations, shoulder to shoulder and leg to leg. 

There is no big announcement, no celebration. You and Zoro just are.

Or so Usopp thought.

The sharpshooter watches in silent shock as you and Zoro pass each other on the deck; the swordsman towards the kitchen, and you towards the helm. The look you two exchanged could freeze over Akainu himself. 

Usually, Usopp notices you two at least nod to each other, or you’re walking to the same place together. Sometimes, much to Usopp’s delight, you would fake swat at Zoro and start a weird shadow boxing session with the two of you, leaving Zoro with a happy flush on his face. 

Usopp shivers as you walk past him. More like stomped, with the way your boots are slamming on the floorboard. “Hey, take it easy on Sunny,” Usopp calls to your back as you descend the stairs. You pause for a moment, probably feeling a bit guilty, then take noticeably softer steps towards Jinbe. 

“What’s up with her?” he says to himself, scratching the back of his head. 

To his horror, he turns around and sees Zoro also stomping his way towards him. Usopp squeals as Zoro gets in his face. “Hey, you know things about giants,” Zoro accuses him. 

“Y-Yeah, sure I do,” Usopp stammers. 

“Is it true that–”

“--that giants and fishmen are able to reproduce?” You look at Jinbe with your arms crossed, a steely determined look on your face. Jinbe looks at you in mild horror, then clears his throat. “Well,” he starts, “technically–”

“--I don’t want technically, Long-Nose,” Zoro pinches Usopp’s nose between two fingers, ignoring the sharpshooter’s pained yelp. “Is it true or not??”

“There’s been a lot of discussion amongst scholars about Wotans, but–OUCH–”

“--but yes, it is true. They’re called Wotans.” Jinbe looks at you as your face morphs from upset to smug, and hesitantly continues, “You can ask Captain Luffy–”

“I ain’t asking Luffy, you crazy?” Zoro lets go of Usopp’s nose and huffs. Usopp clutches his face and glares halfheartedly at Zoro. “Sure, I’m the crazy one,” he grumbles. 

“Whatever,” Zoro turns on his heel and stomps away. 

Usopp calls after him, “I do NOT want to know why y’all were talking about Wotans, but just apologize to her already, doofus.” Zoro flips him off without turning around, and Usopp’s eyebrow twitches in annoyance.

“And stop stomping all over Sunny!”

—

That night at dinner, Zoro has a permanent frown on his face, while you sport a relaxed, self-assured smile. Usopp looks between the two of you as Zoro stabs at his sea-king steak, and you chat happily with Robin about something Usopp couldn’t bother to decipher. 

Nami leans conspiringly towards him. “Looks like those two really got into it,” she mumbles to him. Her eyes also flick between you and Zoro. 

“Someone has to do something soon, my sense of smell depends on it,” Usopp mumbles back. 

“Are you kidding?” Name hisses. “The last time those two got into a stupid fight and I tried to help, Zoro got so mad at me for not giving me extra money for booze, he almost pulled Enma on me. Enma. I had to tiptoe around him for almost a week!” 

“I don’t want to be involved more than I already am!” Usopp complains right back. Him and Nami watch as Sanji swats at Zoro’s head for being too violent with his food.

Usopp rolls his eyes and returns to his food. “Whatever the case, they need to make up, quickly,” he says. 

Luffy pauses from stuffing his face to look between you and Zoro, then says matter of factly (and with no shortage of glee), “Zoro needs to apologize to Y/N.”

You glance at Zoro, who just angrily “che!”s. At the same moment, Luffy attempts to steal the rest of Zoro's food. The swordsman futilely gets himself tangled in Luffy's rubber appendages as the happy captain gobbles up the rest of his plate. 

Nami groans, and meets Robin’s eye from over your shoulder. When the archeologist winks, a smile slowly grows on Nami’s face. “Looks like a solution is already in the works.”

—

You enter the aquarium and immediately pause at the doorway. 

“You’re not Nami,” you say. 

Zoro just looks at you. “You’re not Luffy.”

You close the door behind you. “Looks like we’ve been set up.” 

Zoro is positively lounging on the chairs that line the aquarium. Arms stretched along the tops of the comfy cushions, legs spread lazily, head lulled to the side to look at you. His three swords lay to his side. He’s the picture of relaxation. 

Despite being set up, the sight of him pisses you off.

You cross your arms and stand there, leveling the swordsman with a look that screams, I’m waiting. When you start tapping your foot impatiently, Zoro groans. In truth, he doesn’t mind admitting he’s wrong in most situations. He knows that a good leader always owns up to their mistakes. The only two exceptions to this rule are when you or Sanji are involved. You have a way of getting under his skin that Sanji never could. It tugs on his more primitive side. It makes him want to challenge you more than you challenge him. 

He gives you a long look over. You try your best to not fidget as his eyes travel hotly from your eyes, to your exposed collarbones, to the long lines of your legs. 

You start tapping your foot louder, and Zoro’s eyebrow twitches. 

“Alright, alright fine,” he drawls, then mumbles. “M’sorry.”

“What was that?” You cup your ear and lean forward. “I can’t hear you.” 

Zoro rolls his eyes. “I am sorry.” 

“For…?”

“M’sorry for not listening to you,” he says, knowing very well that's not what you want to hear. 

“Wrong,” you take a few slow steps so you’re closer to the man. “Try again.”

Zoro watches as you take measured steps towards him until you’re right in front of his spread legs. He tilts his head up to look at you as you tower over him. You unapologetically meet his eye. 

When he first met you all those years ago, you were the first woman in a long time to hold his gaze without flinching away. It was the first thing about you that Zoro found attractive. You became the challenge he always needed. In that way, and many more, you have helped him grow to be the person he is today. Now he meets your gaze, and he knows you see both his strengths and his weaknesses, and you love him all the same for it.

His eyes go ever so slightly fond when he speaks next, and you almost cave right then and there when you see it. “M’sorry for not believing you.” 

You step forward again, the sides of your knees touching his inner thighs. “Wrong.” you whisper. 

Zoro watches as you lean forward, his eye never leaving you. “I’m sorry for not trusting you with this small thing, when I already trust you with my life,” he says quietly. The rumble of his voice vibrates through you when you’re this close to him. 

You tilt his head up with a finger below his chin to get a better look at him. You see the silent apology in his eyes just as you hear it in his words. He sees the forgiveness in your eyes, and remembers there was a time when he didn’t think he deserved any sort of forgiveness from anyone. You helped him see that he was worth it, and more. 

Zoro caves. 

He surges up to press his lips to yours, grabbing your knees to bring you closer. Your body naturally follows the movement and you straddle him, winding your arms around his neck and pushing yourself against his chest. You want to feel every plane of his body against you. You grab at him and pull him flush to you as much as you can. You want to feel his hands on your skin, his saliva on your tongue, his teeth on your neck. He grants every one of your wishes without you asking. 

Your lips press and mold together frantically, almost no finesse as a carnal desire overtakes the both of you. Your hands shove into his yakuta to claw at his smooth muscled chest. He hisses as your nails drag over his skin, and bites your lower lip in retaliation. The sounds of you both panting heavily are loud in the silence of the aquarium. 

There are no words exchanged. There’s no need for it. 

Effortlessly, Zoro moves through a set of motions that leaves you breathless. He grips your thighs and stands, turning so that you are sitting on the couch and he is on his knees between your legs before you could take another breath. 

You let out a puff of air as you fall back. Zoro pulls once and your pants and underwear are both gone. You open your mouth to protest, but he almost desperately grabs the back of your thighs and raises them so your knees are practically at your chest, and his mouth attaches to your core. 

His tongue and lips and teeth press at you with such an urgency and intensity, you slap both hands over your mouth to prevent the moan that is bubbling quickly in your throat. His tongue slides over your folds and circles your entrance. His grip on your thighs tighten as he bends you even further in half to reach more of you. He eats you out like a man starved, like someone eating their first meal in weeks, like someone who has been craving the taste of you and only you. 

Zoro’s mouth deliciously trails up to your clit and stays there. He traces the nub expertly, alternating between the flat and the tip of his tongue. You see stars, heat boiling and coiling in your pelvis so quickly you don’t know what to do with yourself. Zoro plays your body like a master musician, and you’re helpless to do anything but let him. 

He feels when your orgasm begins to crest. Your body tightens, your breath quickens, your back arches from the cushion. Zoro knows your body so well at this point that he can pinpoint even the smallest shifts in your countenance. He brings your hips closer to the edge of the seat, knowing what's coming. He hums and quickly buries two fingers inside you. You gasp, then press your palms to your mouth harder as he curls his fingers and moves perfectly against your g-spot. You see white and cum almost instantly, but Zoro doesn’t stop. Your legs shake as his fingers continue to work in and out of you, building upon a familiar pressure. You’re too weak at this point to resist it, with the way the man had you riled up since your stupid argument, and soon something inside you snaps. Your eyes roll back and you silently scream as you feel yourself squirt on his fingers. Zoro groans low in satisfaction, his head now resting against your thigh and holding you open so he can watch you gush around his hand. 

You squirm and push against him enough that he finally lets you go. He breathes in heavily as he takes in the sight of you. Your thighs glisten with your release in the low light of the room. You’re half turned away from him, chest heaving, hands still covering your mouth. Your eyes are watery and you look at him with such feral desperation, it makes him grin wickedly. 

You blink and Zoro is out of his yakuta jacket. He runs his damp fingers over your legs, pushes your shirt and your bra both up above your chest. He grips tight at your nipples and you gasp. You're desperate to feel more of him, running your hands down the thick of his forearms as he palms you. He bends forward and swipes your bottom lip with his tongue. You immediately open up in response, and you moan at the taste of yourself on him. 

He moves closer to you and whispers in your ear, “Turn around.” Your move quickly to your hands and knees, gripping the tops of the cushions. You arch your back and spread your knees, stretching your arms as much as you could at this angle. Zoro hums and grabs at the flesh of your ass appreciatively. He kisses his way back down your spine before he straightens. 

He doesn’t bother to take his pants off fully and pulls them down just enough to free himself. He sighs in relief, and relishes in the picture you paint with your body stretched in front of him. He debates teasing you for a bit longer and rubs his tip along your entrance. You buck once desperately against him, and Zoro has no choice (or strength left to deny either one of you) and sinks into your tight warmth. 

You gasp as you feel him stretch you, your walls instantly accommodating his size. You were wetter than you think you’ve ever been, and the stretch is easy. Zoro sinks all the way to the hilt, but he does so slowly. You feel every inch of him, from the soft bulbous head to every vein and bump, to the slight burn of the stretch that you knew would soon turn into pleasure, until his pelvis is flush against you. You almost sigh in relief of finally being full. Zoro begins to set a steady pace, knocking the breath out of you with each soft slap of his skin against yours. He is mesmerized at the sight of you.

You look back at Zoro as he makes love to you. You love it when he gets like this, all soft and slow and tender. His hands push up your shirt as he palms your back. But now is not the time for that. You push your ass against him, trying to encourage him to go faster. 

Zoro chuckles. “Impatient brat,” he mumbles. “You want it that bad? Fine. Take it.” He grips your hips and tilts you up. You have to brace on your elbows, but your complains are literally fucked out of you as Zoro starts plowing into you. Your head tips back with a gasp. Zoro drives his powerful hips forward over and over and over again until you see stars and he fills all of your senses. His spiced scent, the heat he radiated already has you sweaty, the taste of him and you on your tongue, the sound of his hushed pants and groans. One of his hands moves up your back and grabs your neck, physically pulling your body onto his cock. You could practically feel him in your chest with how deep he is. You lean forward to bite your forearm; it’s all you can do to keep from screaming. 

You look back at Zoro again as he fucks you into oblivion, and you see the desperation in his face, you feel the weight of his hands gripping your waist, the way sweat beads down his chest, his eye is completely piercing yours in a way that lets you know that you’re his and his alone. He’s mostly quiet save for his panting breaths, though he knows you love it when he’s loud. The sheer size of him leaves you beyond words, and it’s all that you can do to press your face in your arms and just take it. 

He adjusts his grip on your waist and leans forward so his chest brushes your back, and you absolutely see stars as he hits you deeper than before. Your shriek is muffled and your eyes roll as he slows his pace, but does nothing to dull the strength of his thrusts. Your back arches almost impossibly to take on the weight of his thrusts. You feel the heat radiate through his skin as he covers you with his large frame.

The amount of desperation clouding his and your judgment was almost palpable in the humid room. Zoro is quickly losing his ability to stay silent, so he can’t help but to hiss at how tight you begin to grip him. He wants to take his time with you, feel the full expanse of your soft skin under his palms, savor the way you flutter and pulse around his cock. But he is way too wound up to do that now. Not with the way you drove him wild all day. 

You're starting to lose strength in your arms, and you drop one arm to rest a cheek against the couch. Seeing this, Zoro pauses his moments only briefly to straighten. He grabs both your biceps and pulls your whole weight back on his cock. You're practically fully impaled on him, and with nothing to muffle yourself with, you let out a guttural moan.

Zoro smiles wickedly and resumes his pace. It doesn’t take long (how could it with the way he’s going to town on you) before you feel your orgasm approach. You try your best to keep most of your moans down, you really do. Zoro doesn’t do much to help either, with both your hands occupied. But Zoro fucks you like he will never fuck you again, and he’s desperate to be burried within your very essence. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, Zoro…!” you whisper desperately before you break. You groan desperately, deep in your chest, as if the orgasm was ripped from somewhere deep within you. You shake and pulse around Zoro’s cock, and he throws his head back to let out a sinfully low moan as he cums with you. You can barely feel anything but the pulsing of your walls around his cock and the thick gushing of his cum inside you. Heat runs like magma from your chest to your toes as you continue to cum. Zoro finally has mercy on you and stops with his pelvis flush against the globes of your ass as you both calm down. 

Zoro gently releases one of your arms and presses his palm against your chest to push so that your back is flush to his chest. His embrace is warm and tender. You sink heavily into his weight and let him do all the work of keeping you upright, your orgasm sucking all the energy out of you. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers again. His breath fans your ear as the both of you pant. You feel his heart beating powerfully in his chest against your back. You tilt your head on his shoulder to look at him.

“I forgive you,” you whisper back. He graces you with a smile so endearing, you can't help but to lean in and kiss him. Zoro caresses your neck softly as he swipes his tongue against yours languidly, enjoying the feeling of being as close to you as possible. 

Later, Usopp watches from the bridge as the two of you emerge from the aquarium. To anyone else, it looks like the two of you just parted ways without a word. But Usopp sees the way your hands brush as you leave, notices the flush on Zoro’s face and the messiness of your hair. You both have a noticeably lighter foot as you walk to opposite ends of the ship. Usopp leans against the railing and sighs. Balance has been restored, it seems. 

“Finally.” 

I need Julius Novachrono.

Like I know he has many kinks….there’s just no way…

Look at how fine he is.

LOOK AT THAT FROWN. I would let this man do anything to me.

Whatever julius novachrono wants HE GETS.

AND HES A NERD TO!! but when he gets serious it’s just such a turn onnn!!!

*sighs* my man…

Chris Evans as Ari Levinson in The Red Sea Diving Resort (2019)

MY LOML?? MUTUAL MAST W ZORO?

HE’S A MUTUAL MASTURBATION KING I KNOW IT

there's something about being invited into all the mundane intimacies of your life that satisfies something primal in zoro’s soul, the part of him that wants to devour you and know you wholly and truly.

he trails behind you, closer than your own shadow and just as quiet, while you brush your teeth and wash your face in the morning. he's there when you get dressed and when you're bent at the waist in front of the fridge trying to decide on what to eat.

every want and desire, every need, everything that makes you you. he breathes them all in until his lungs ache, fit to burst with love for you.

and when you spread your legs before him and rub messy circles on your clit, zoro is there, watching with a half-lidded stare and a tight fist around the base of his cock that does little to stop precum from leaking out of his flushed tip.

his own pleasure is a distant second to yours. he’s too busy taking in your little gasps and moans, the slick sound of your cunt echoing in his ears as you work yourself closer the edge.

“cum with me, zoro,” you say, “baby, i need you.”

another need, one only he can fulfill. pride and greed burn so hot in his gut he can’t tell one from the other, melting together into a hunger so vast it’s all he can do to crawl over you and press his mouth to yours in a vain attempt to sate it.

zoro’s fist is a blur trying to catch up to you and when his orgasm rips through him, it hardly feels like his at all. it’s yours, your pleasure, your high, that floods through him and has him spilling over your pussy, right where you spread yourself open for him.

and when you kiss his cheek and get up to wash yourself clean, zoro hardly spares a thought before he’s rolling off the bed and trailing after you.

i feel like zoro needs to be spoiled after training.. poor man all sweaty and tired and the only thing he needs is you kissing his hairy chest and his pubes :3 fighting between the brick of falling asleep or fucking u dumb

warnings: oral (m and f receiving), deepthroating, a smidge of size kink

zoro thinks he might fall asleep like this. sitting propped up with his back on the headboard of your shared bed, body sore after hours and hours of brutal training and the tip of his cock brushing against the back of your throat. you’re sprawled out all pretty between his spread legs, doing your best to breath around the thick intrusion you swore up and down you could take without issue. his large hand, rough and callused over the years from the hilt of his swords, cradles your cheek gently as you try to swallow around him.

the deep groans that rumble out of his chest echo behind the obscene sound of you gagging. he’s grateful for the bone deep exhaustion that weighs him down. without it, he’s sure he’d be fucking up into the sinful heat of your mouth and apologizing come morning when the rest of the crew asks what’s wrong with your voice.

his hand shifts upwards when you try to pull back, resting on the back of your neck and forcing you down until your nose is tickled by soft hair. it’s a struggle for you to lift your gaze up high enough to look up at him and the sight of your watery eyes and swollen lips stretched around his cock feels like a punch to the gut.

“don’t look at me like that.” he says, throwing his head back with a thump against the headboard. “you wanted this so you’re gonna fucking take it.”

no one should look so blissful, so content with their mouth stuffed full but you somehow manage it, reaching up to massage his balls in the palm of your hand. zoro’s never been the best at letting you spoil him like this. maybe that’s why you ambushed him with hot, heavy kisses that trailed down his neck the second he stepped foot in the bedroom. you knew he’d be tired enough to follow your lead and accept the affection he still didn’t think he truly deserved even after all this time you’ve been together.

almost as though you can sense his thoughts begging to drift away, your free hand reaches out for his. delicate fingers lace through brutish ones and a familiar swell of love-tinged lust swirls inside him. he’s been staving off his orgasm since you first lapped at his weeping tip and he cums with a choked off cry of your name, hips bucking as he spills down your throat.

as soon as his vision clears, zoro forces his aching muscles to move. he pulls you up towards him, holding you close as he shifts downwards until you’re laying flat on top of him and crashing your mouths together to lick the bitter taste of himself off your tongue.

“you’re too good to me, baby. such a good fucking girl.”

your giggle turns into a startled gasp when grips your hips and lifts you up until your clothed cunt is hovering over his face. he smirks at the startled look you give him before he pulls you down, mouthing at your clit over your panties.

“don’t start something you can’t finish it, sweetheart. we’re not done till i say we are.”