And Don't Bury The Treasure You Find Either. You Need It To Buy Supplies. And Have A Water Purifer, But

Me: I'll get the contract ready...

You’re a demon. One day, you’re summoned into a living room, and an exhausted woman quickly rambles about needing to get to work and being unable to find a sitter before flying out the door. Now, you stand in your summoning circle, a toddler staring wide eyed at you.

Just send them dumb memes and memes that you know they'll love.

Me:BUT SHE HAS BIG EARS AND SHARP TEETH! I DON'T CARE THAT SHE'S A WOLF ! I CARE BECUASE YOU NEED FUCKING GLASSES!!

You’re pretty sure your brother’s wife is a talking wolf in a dress, but he simply refuses to believe you.

". . . THAT'S NOT WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO BILL!!!!" "Well Sixer, how was I supposed to know that!!!" I thought of Gravity falls and I need to know why that copy machine is like that

"I've fixed that malfunctioning copying machine." "The copying machine was broken?" "Of course it was, it did not even create identical copies of objects until now, how anyone could call it a copying machine before, I do not understand."

He framed you for his crime

Tommy neglected to inform me about the body

Rebloging because people like that make me want to give them a slow painful death with my own hands. I also hate how cute the colors look because gross people shouldn't have those cute colors

I am making so many “hey mutuals!” posts but this one is serious and it applies to everyone who sees this post actually. PLEASE REBLOG.

I just had to block someone with this flag as their pfp -

For those who don’t know, this is the MAP pride flag. This flag represents pedophiles.

Please reblog so people know that they are not welcome anywhere. Mutuals I BETTER see y’all reblogging this

I need these for the day of the dead

Can I cook the shoe for you if it doesn't win?

apparently there's a sonic ship showdown on tw*tter rn, and I'll eat my left shoe if sonadow doesn't win

"Roomie, why are you threatening me? I do you're fucking laundry because you can't do it for the life of you. Ge the gun out of my face or else you'll somehow explode your clothes when they're in the dryer"

Today you just found out your roommate with strange hobbies, like knowing how to pick a lock, knows how every puzzle and cipher by heart, or how to commit tax fraud, and so many other things, wasn't a guy with ADHD, he was an ex-assassin and now you have a gun pointed at your face

I started wheezing!!! XD

HAHAHA HOW WOULD LEO REACT TO SEEING A FIGURINE OF DONNIE LIKE THIS 💀

Please, he would pass out from oxygen deprivation-