My Night Manager (who Is A Gay Man) And I Sometimes Sit Down And Exchange Stories And Tidbits About Our

my night manager (who is a gay man) and i sometimes sit down and exchange stories and tidbits about our sexuality and our experiences in the queer cultural enclave. and tonight he and i were talking about the AIDS epidemic. he’s about 50 years old. talking to him about it really hit me hard. like, at one point i commented, “yeah, i’ve heard that every gay person who lived through the epidemic knew at least 2 or 3 people who died,” and he was like “2 or 3? if you went to any bar in manhattan from 1980 to 1990, you knew at least two or three dozen. and if you worked at gay men’s health crisis, you knew hundreds.” and he just listed off so many of his friends who died from it, people who he knew personally and for years. and he even said he has no idea how he made it out alive.

it was really interesting because he said before the aids epidemic, being gay was almost cool. like, it was really becoming accepted. but aids forced everyone back in the closet. it destroyed friendships, relationships, so many cultural centers closed down over it. it basically obliterated all of the progress that queer people had made in the past 50 years.

and like, it’s weird to me, and what i brought to the conversation (i really couldn’t say much though, i was speechless mostly) was like, it’s so weird to me that there’s no continuity in our history? like, aids literally destroyed an entire generation of queer people and our culture. and when you think about it, we are really the first generation of queer people after the aids epidemic. but like, when does anyone our age (16-28 i guess?) ever really talk about aids in terms of the history of queer people? like it’s almost totally forgotten. but it was so huge. imagine that. like, dozens of your friends just dropping dead around you, and you had no idea why, no idea how, and no idea if you would be the next person to die. and it wasn’t a quick death. you would waste away for months and become emaciated and then, eventually, die. and i know it’s kinda sophomoric to suggest this, but like, imagine that happening today with blogs and the internet? like people would just disappear off your tumblr, facebook, instagram, etc. and eventually you’d find out from someone “oh yeah, they and four of their friends died from aids.”

so idk. it was really moving to hear it from someone who experienced it firsthand. and that’s the outrageous thing - every queer person you meet over the age of, what, 40? has a story to tell about aids. every time you see a queer person over the age of 40, you know they had friends who died of aids. so idk, i feel like we as the first generation of queer people coming out of the epidemic really have a responsibility to do justice to the history of aids, and we haven’t been doing a very good job of it.

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5 years ago

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5 years ago

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9 years ago

The Signs as Witches

Aries: uses bodily ingredients such as hair or teeth or nails, wild and free and howling at the moon, fire tells them what they want to know, embraces all but does not tolerate betrayal, gifted in the use of poppets and curses, full of energy and static and power

Taurus: a collector of many things, uses crystals and herbs, proficient in kitchen magic, has an inner strength that knows no bounds and no true master, a home full of colored glass and jars filled with anything you could ever need, rooted and able, wears robes with many many pockets

Gemini: a card reader and game changer, spoken spells fill the very air with magic and potential, an avid learner and sharer of their craft, books and tomes and candles fill their space, knows the power of words and names, tattoos sigils and spells all over their body and they seem to move when you aren’t looking, vast and uncontainable

Cancer: rests under the moon and whispers magic in their sleep, uses astral projection to explore and learn and play with ghosts, elaborate and detailed dream diary, deep understanding of astrology, somehow already knows what you’re going to say, mysterious and soft but only on the surface, a knower of secrets, sleepy eyes, lives in a tree in a misty forest and makes friends with the plants and spirits there

Leo: strongest in the day and has eyes that light up the night, mighty voice and skilled hands, breath carries a spark, animalistic energy you can feel when they look at you, makes their own spells borrows their own power, incredible visualization makes their dreams realities, difficult to look at directly for reasons you don’t really understand, wild hair and adorned in gems

Virgo: techno witch, weaves magic into code and text, keeps a blog as their book of shadows and altar, urban magic, has a restless mind and busy hands, deletes negativity out of their life, has much information to share despite their hollow look, eyes are lit from the inside, their phone is full of pictures that keep moving and notes only they can read

Libra: covered in veils and breathes perfume to hide themselves and confuse you, summons creatures and demons to do their bidding so their hands remain clean, almost transparent at times like a ghost or vision, is stronger than they look and delights in you not knowing their power, their mouth is almost always moving but you can’t hear what they say, soft to the touch but their skin is cold, trinkets and charms and chains adorn them and their home

Scorpio: eyes and nails are dark and caked in black, frequents graveyards and learns from the ghosts and crows, solitary witch who makes friends with bones, will help you learn what you want to know for a price, is afraid to sleep, quiet and haunted, is reborn each new moon, is full of knowing and fog and promise, takes a lock of hair from all they help, you feel them in your core

Sagittarius: rides their broom with reckless abandon, plays with the children on Halloween and shows them magic is real, their home has legs and never stays still, keeps many familiars and most are birds, gifted in charms and potions and sells their work with a smile, you can hear them laughing with the moon at night, chapped lips and wide eyes, magic is erratic and spontaneous and they couldn’t control it if they wanted to

Capricorn: loose black and gray clothing that flows when they walk, keeps a pouch of salt around their neck at all times, face is often covered or hard to see, protection spells and sigils are their innate ability, the floor trembles when they are angry, always watching watching watching, lives in a stone cottage covered with moss and scrawlings and carvings, other witches are silent around them out of fear and awe

Aquarius: hermit, storm witch, plays with rain and dances with lightning and shouts thunder, keeps trinkets and mementos in small jars around their bed, asks favors and learns from the clouds, raw and swift and ready to act, soft as a summer rain and cold as hail, hair is full of leaves and wind, feet are dirty but their mind is clean and sharp

Pisces: smells of salt and dressed in rags and burlap and pearls, misty eyes that look through you and deep deep down in you, water witch with a soft face and an ocean for a heart, thing of the sea, empath who sometimes knows you better than you do, bottles own tears and keeps them for spells, witch of all trades master of none, head is full of crashing waves, overflowing with magic and wonder

8 years ago
mattlindel - Babayaga
mattlindel - Babayaga

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