I’m So Fucking Tired. We Keep Dying In Real Life And On Screen, That’s How Much They Hate Us. We

Ugly Privilege is being the ‘relationship expert’ when your friends are going through relationship issues and you got no experience with romantic relationships

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

I like to keep my metabolism on her toes.

Like what’s it gonna be today? Complete starvation or 3000 calories? I know as much as you, bitch ;)

My mom just sent me this video without any context??

My plan to create a perfectly flat and level Kansas by moving 5,501 cubic miles of earth from west to east. It’s the ideal Kansas. Still some details to work out about rivers, roads, etc. Watch out for the 900-foot cliff bisecting Kansas City.

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

My favorite aesthetic. I hope it never ends. 

I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest.  my whole life so far is leading up to that moment

his first pride :) reblog if u support him

“How arw you paying for photoshop” im not LMAO