My Body Is Not Your Debate.

If you’re wondering if it ‘counts’ as harassment...that’s the problem

You’re not weak for staying silent. You’re calculating risk in a world that punishes honesty.

If you're considering going public read this.

You don’t owe anyone a perfect story.

Maybe you forgot the exact date. Maybe your memory skips or rewinds. Maybe you didn’t document it. Maybe you didn’t tell anyone right away. Maybe you still don’t know what words to use.

That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. That doesn’t mean you’re lying. That doesn’t mean your story doesn’t count.

What happened is real. Even if it’s messy. Especially if it’s messy.

"There must be satisfaction gained in accurately naming the thing that torments you."

-Miriam Toews

Just finished Women Talking (both the book by Miriam Toews and the movie by Sarah Polley) and I honestly don’t know how to describe it without using all caps. It’s probably the most clear-eyed thing I’ve ever seen about what it actually feels like to live in the aftermath of harassment. If you’ve ever felt like you were losing your mind trying to name something everyone else was fine ignoring I really highly recommend this rare artwork to you all.

Hi, I just wanted to say this blog has helped me a lot with understanding and healing from being harassed at work. I hope you have a lovely weekend <3

Thank you, what a pleasure to hear! Made my weekend, in fact. Have a great weekend yourself.

Boss: "Thanks for bringing this to our attention. We'll circle back..."

Me:

You get punished twice — once for what happened, and again for how you react.

You don’t have to be perfect to be harmed.

Maybe you’d had a drink. Maybe you laughed along. Maybe you told them they were cute once. Maybe you texted back. Maybe you said yes to one thing, but not to what happened next.

Maybe you tried to be polite when you should have run. Maybe you didn’t run because you were scared. Or tired. Or frozen.

None of that means it wasn’t harassment. None of that means it was your fault.