Dear Observers, I'm Back

I'm back from the decade long search for lost teeth in the void

Had to beat up some teeth snachers

Now I have all their stolen goods

Who wants some teeth on the house?

Where did all of your teeth go?

Did you underestimate capabilities of teeth snachers, and now all of your mouth stones are gone?

Do not worry, you can still get them back!

You just have to find them (a colony of friendly teeth snatchers) under your local bridge, and agree to a super secret contract they give you

Just don't bother reading too much into it

After all, what you sign there does not matter

Only losers read tiny print on their (il)legal documents:}

Art thou ready?

The bone harvest is about to begin

Hold tightly onto your woven baskets and prepare to push your cold hands into the shallow river soil

Get your self some fresh bones while they're still not moving on their own (it's way easier that way)

Who knows what kind of creature you may discover

Do not give your bones to country gnomes

They in fact do not belong to them, the hit post lied

Just had to fight a dozen suspicious ladies off of my blog

This has to be the latest ploy of the teeth snatchers to keep me distracted so they can steal all my extra teeth

Teeth

T

Eeeeee

T

h

Crunch cruncH

Sometimes I just think about what would happen if one day bone provider, out of nowhere, decided to take all of our bones away

We would become nothing but fleshy meat blobs

Therefore, we should all appreciate that they're in our possession for now

Bone provider is close

I can feel it in my bones

They are rattling , just as if they wanted to get out of their flesh prison as soon as possible

This is simply not true

I will NOT have a bone stealing gnome tell me what is and what is not the truth

I demand you return that femur at once!

Do not give your bones to country gnomes

They in fact do not belong to them, the hit post lied

It's literally 3am and the only thing I can think about is how I have all of my ex mouth-stones in a tiny box on a shelf above me

Truly magnificent morning

Bones have been harvested while they were still ripe