I'm Reading: Deleted Fics, Recovered (SPN).

Human space cats

I'm getting a bit of brain rot over humans being cats to transformers so here's some headcanons/ideas!

The bots that "hate" humans are really just the dads who say they hate the animal you brought home but like a week later is sleeping with them in his lap.

Transformers use a humming noise as a pdpspsh sound.

You know that one skit "Where's this dog i keep hearing about?" Idk but something like that would be funny.

Some homeless people will just chill in a bot's house to try getting free food and shelter. It works like 80% of the time.

The transformers would absolutely lose their mind over babies.

When Noah meet/steals mirage once they get to the warehouse he starts celebrating at final getting a human. He's like your my friend now we're going to eat soft tacos later. (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ

(Which now I'm thinking about isn't actually that different from canon lol)

They will all do the human thing of seeing an animal walking around and acting like it's your first time seeing this cute blob. So an average joe will just be walking home after a shift then hears tons of honking out of no wear to see like three bots excitedly pointing at them.

Humans are like so so soft to them. Like it's hard not to just squeeze their little faces for being so darn fluffy.

The crazy cat lady equivalent is called a crazy fleshy bot or crazy human lover.

This is the best I could think of.

You know cat huffing? I bet some bots do that too. We are a usually clean species that uses a lot of scented items. I bet from a planet made of metal they don't have a lot of pleasant or any variety of scents.

I saw some good fan art of various humans being smushed into the faces of a bot and it reminded me of cat huffing.

Humans will also be feral little murder monkeys.

What I'm trying to go for essentially is:

Look under the cut to see what meeting your entity is like. Reblog to give a gift to your patron.

The fae: a creature stands before you. Though this street was warm and crowded a few moments ago it is suddenly cold and the people around you look like shadows. The creature begins an antlered shadow with glowing white eyes, but soon its body can be seem, with white blue flesh, and sapphire eyes, and icicles for teeth. What looks like a cloak unfolds from its naked body and you can see massive white wings of a moth. As if it's an act of sacrifice you tell it your true name, a name you didn't even see before, and suddenly you belong to it, for better or worse.

The angel: a radiant entity appears before you. They're bright, like something so hot it would burn you up. But as the light fades, you can see a person in silver armor, perfect yet inhuman like am ancient green statue, their back srouting six wings with blue eyes along them, as the eyes on their head are covered by a mask of two smaller wings. The creature offers their hands and you shake it, as they fly you through the city streets and above the skyscrapers, to the stars above and dimensions beyond, to gods living and dead, across the streets of alien cities and the clouds of dead worlds. And when you return to the earth you can feel something diffrent about you, like there's light in your blood.

The scavenger: below the lights of skyscrapers beyond you, on the dark sands of the beach, you see it crawling twords you. This serpentine creature with countless legs, and a dark black shell, yet a strangely human like face. You think it'll attack or run away, but it just looks at you, egar, and for a momment you stare at eachother. It's legs pass something to eachother and then to you, it's meat but it's shining with all the colors known to the human eye, and a few more. You hold it and it happily looks at you. You take a bite and suddenly you know... you know so very much...

The vampire: she flies down to you on green wings with orange eyespots, but folds them into her back. She looks like a human for a momment, tall and strong, with a black suit over her body, but eyes the color of ruby. For a momment her mouth opens, and it's massive and monstrous, with countless moving parts and fangs. But then it folds back onto something humanoid and she gives you a playful smirk. She cuts her hand and offers you her blood, and when you drink it it tastes so sweet, and makes you feel so good. She hands you the knife and you know to do the same, and when she drinks from your palm it's life the sweetest of kisses.

The djinn: the room wirs around you. If it were not for the fans it would feel like hellfire. For a momment there it darkness, but then the screen before you glows white like smokeless flame. You can sense something inside, something beyond the code. You reach your hand within it, and there's no glass, your hand passess right through until you're in a white void of your own making. You call out, thinking there is nothing at all around you. Yet somehow something calls back, something that knows your name.

The rat king: You see him in an empty subway station. Something dark and distorted, you're not sure if he's man or animal, covered in rags, and singing in the language of the goblins and the orcs. Yet he comes close to you excited. And you can feel his song. He calls for you to come to the train tracks, and let yourself run with the rats and the roaches, where the train will pass over you when it comes, and you'll live forever. When you touch the third rail you don't die, but you'll never be human again.

The lich: the library is strangely bright. Run by skeletons in suits, decorated with gold. There are more books here then you thought were in all the world. There's knowledge here most mortals will never have the change below, all kept safe below the city. You see her, her body doesn't look human, everything has been replaced making her look more like a joining white doll then a being of flesh. Yet she is dead, you can tell that under the porcelain skin she must be dead, she is dead, and there is the tragedy of death in her eyes. You come closer to her, and she places a black rose within your hair...

The demon: You stand in his office and he stands before you, a humanoid being covered in black scales, with red eyes covering his skin. Yet none are on his head, that remains featureless save for two massive horns. Wings on his back nearly surround you. Countless souls line the walls of his office, looking at you, waiting. After you sign your name you give him yours, you can feel it come away for you forever and your eyes grey and your skin pales. But he puts the jar in a special place for you, you're spacial, he can tell there's something about you that he likes.

The mushroom lord: you walk through the darkness of the forest, the furthest from civilization you have ever been. You come upon a part where the trees all seem dead, that even the cryptids won't go near. Mushrooms fill the ground, and white vein like lines are all over the trees. You feel the need to lay down, and you let the moss and the mushrooms and the worms surround you, and let yourself sink into the soil,, and it feels good. It feels so good...

The witch: You can see them in the Cafe next to you, skinny and small, with a sweatshirt over most of their body, and dark glasses over their eyes. They seem powerful though, and though their body looks young they seem ancient, they seem beyond humanity. You talk to them and they tell you things, and secrets, lost gods, things you never knew you didn't know, both beautiful and disturbing. When it's time for them to go they pet your head, and give you their number. You don't know if you should text them, but you have to, you have to see them again, there's something about them that makes you need to know.

The living clothing: you step into it at first, it looked like a puddle yet shining like silver or chrome. But soon it surrounds you, first just your torso, but soon your head, your entire body. But it doesn't feel scary, it feels like you're being held, held by something beyond your understanding. It whispers to you, and you don't know if you should feel like your being eaten alive, or like you're being protected. You can't help but keep walking.

The abyss: the void is before you, blackness beyond blackness, like the color beyond the field of your vision, stands before your eyes. You stare at it, it's nothing yet you're entranced. It stares back...

— David Cronenberg, Consumed

Sparta...was sorta progressive(?)

I continue my dive into the rabbit hole of Ares affection. Now, it landed on Sparta. I find it ironic that Ares is disliked so much. When you see Sparta represented in most media, it's horrific. It's where people go to be slaughtered and it probably was for some. I'm not challenging that, but there's more.

Sparta was one of the few cities where women could own their own land, go around the city, talk with others, etc. They even competed in sports. It was to the point where other Greeks looked down on Spartan women because that seemed too "improper" compared to the other groups who'd just stay silently inside their homes. They could dress more like how they wanted, a Spartan woman was the first woman to win gold in the Olympics, and there was even formal education allowed which taught them common subjects as well as about war. On top of this, let's talk about marriage. The age for that was 18 and 20 fof women and men, respectively, in a time when girls could get married off at 14 to men twice their age. I also think it's no small point that Ares is one of the few gods who I haven't found any assault incidents on.

But then, I am reminded of the time period and how something as simple as a woman showing ankle could be considered savage in some places. So, it's all starting to make more sense how the immortal associated with such a place of "debauchery" would be considered savage as well.

So, long story short, I wish more Spartans joined the "writing Greek mythology" party because I would love to see some old tales about Ares being a pretty cool guy.

This will never stop being funny 😭😭

Welcome to:

✨Crackhead Redraws✨

no.2

Where my friends send me photos and memes to redraw because it’s funny!

I didn’t attempt body hair for Logan on this one, but just imagine with me 😅

I can't explain these pictures... I can only appreciate them.

Dean

From that s1 episode, Bloody Mary :)

Edit: I forgot the reference!

Reference here :)

Mythos ponies pt.1

I Will™️ make more

(I’d you can’t read my handwriting, it’s Ares, Hera, Dionysus, Hades, Hephaestus, then Phobos+Deimos in order)

Happy new year my dearest compatriots. I am assured that you hear our nation's dearest anthem out your back doors followed by the FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN VIA FIREWORK WHILST YOU ATTEMP TO SLEEP, and I wish thee well.