Lyssrambles - I Was Born A Ramblin' Girl

I know better I just ache for it so deeply I am willing to risk my sanity

I’m no good with waiting.

The silence. The wondering. The voices chattering. It kills me.

But I wait.  For you.

~ Lyss

Some Days

Some days I love myself.  Overjoyed to help others feel useful A treasure whose bliss is creating bliss Worthy. Loveable. Hopeful.

Other days I hate myself. Overwhelmed with feeling useless A burden and toxic to everything I touch Unworthy. Unloveable. Hopeless.

Some days I wonder if I will ever get back to some days.

I took the blame

And you were happy to let me

When you avoid your feelings, you bury your passion

What is life without passion?

I want...

I want to rail. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to yell out horrible things about him and make him feel as useless and broken as I do.

I want his arms around me. I want him to stroke my hair and tell me it will be okay. I want to believe it will be okay. I want to be safe. And secure.

But no one hears my wants as they fall directly into the blackness which was once my heart.

Time again to box it all up. Put it away. Pretend I don’t feel. Time to lose myself in mundanity. Hide from passion. Give up on hope.