You Think Her Kiss Is Magic One Day You’ll Learn It’s Poison

I want...

I want to rail. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to yell out horrible things about him and make him feel as useless and broken as I do.

I want his arms around me. I want him to stroke my hair and tell me it will be okay. I want to believe it will be okay. I want to be safe. And secure.

But no one hears my wants as they fall directly into the blackness which was once my heart.

Time again to box it all up. Put it away. Pretend I don’t feel. Time to lose myself in mundanity. Hide from passion. Give up on hope.

Please don't remember me fondly

Remember me as the one who held your heart so softly, the one who loved you without restraint even when your love for me was a tangled mess which took years to unravel

Remember my patience and devotion as I sat at your feet, then how you crushed them under your heel

Remember me with pangs of guilt and regret when you think on your habit of assuring me I was safe with you then abandoning me once again

Don't remember me fondly, remember you killed me

I know you love my tits, but can you love the heart beneath?

Collected

You collect hearts    the way others collect shells Shiny hearts full of love    you are too scared to return Holding them to your ear    to admire the way they admire you Then back on display    until your ego needs another stroke There my heart sits in your display case,    dripping love and devotion Among the other trophies,    stolen by the heart collector

As much as I long to hear it it eases my mind to realize the reason you can’t say you love me is because you do

I am angry with you  But I am far more  disappointed in myself 

This is my fault

I let you in I showed you all my softest  most vulnerable bits I allowed myself to believe  you’d keep them safe

This is my fault

I pray one day you will drunk text me So you can finally find the freedom to express all those things you’ve locked up deep down

I tell you I love you All you can say is “Why?”