The Drama The Fastpasses Will Bring...

So I have a theory that Jackson's Diary is less of a supernatural and more of a story about two mentally ill people with magic involved and I decided to reread it and keep notes on anything and everything that supports that theory

PS:much easier if you read the chapter after or while reading these notes

Chp5 notes:

•i can tell Jackson's aunt is doing her best but it feels like she's not giving him space to talk out his thoughts and her insisting he's tired because it's only nerves pushes Jackson to push down his emotions

•David forgetting Jackson's name while both exer remembered Jackson's name and Jackson remembered David's and exer's names is a sign both have good memories and are using it to remember everything about everyone

•Jackson tries to be friendly to exer and keeping his good kid facade despite hinted at having nightmares because of him while exer looks annoyed at Jackson's attempt, could be that exer knows Jackson isn't really sincere and hates his fake behavior towards him, maniplutors love fooling others but hate it when someone tries to do the same. Also Jackson's look at exer when he gets a cold response to his friendliness, Jackson starts seeing that his friendly behavior isn't working on exer

•Jackson thinking about his tio&tia words while climbing up the ladder, seems like he's dead set on making them proud despite them saying they already are. maybe deep down Jackson feels like if he doesn't shine his adopted parents won't love him as much

•exer being absolutely p*ssed off that Jackson beat him is the first real sign of his egocentric behavior, everything before that seemed more like him liking himself and it wasn't really bad

•exer literally going as far as needing to be held back by David from how pissed he is and then calling Jackson pathetic compare his behavior to the previous chapters and you'd see these are signs of his mask breaking in half and his ugly side showing more publicly

I have to be a great villain went from “haha funny” to “doomed by the narrative to play your role over and over again, hurting everyone who loves you” and I am so unwell about Wang Yi

Good point. I can see it go both ways tbh, but I'm still going to stick with my point because it makes more sense to me personally with how Jackson would delay telling the truth to pamela looked like he was concerned with what exer did more than how it effected pamela on a deeper level

Something that's almost never acknowledged by jd readers (yes this is a character study)

A popular belief from s1 is that Jackson beat up exer because of what he did to pamela, however that's not actually right

If you go back to read prior to the fight you'll realize that Jackson was never really pissed off about what exer did until he realized that exer been sabotaging him too, that's when he gets angry.

Of course he acknowledges that's what exer did to pamela and yes it upset him and he believes pam should know; but the thing is that it doesn't upset him enough to beat exer up

Do you know what upsets him enough?

Pamela's makeover and joining the reds

This is what upsets him enough to beat exer up

Why?

Because looking at this from a different perspective; it looks like exer is still trying to sabotage Jackson's life and isolate him.

The only people on Jackson's side are pamela and brenda, but brenda is more of with both sides and with David being her brother and she obviously regaining her crush on exer; that would leave Jackson with only one person he can absolutely trust won't leave him: Pamela

So seeing Pamela with the reds felt like everything was crumbling for him; that exer was manipulating pam to join him and his friends and then exer would continue his cat and mouse game that Jackson now knows of.

So really it wasn't about pamela as a person as much as it was about pamela as Jackson's last remaining companion in that rivalry thing

had a identity crisis in front of the st louis bathrooms bc closested ftm and i was scared to go in the devil bathroom so i was forced into the angel one by society

Pee in the middle of both bathrooms then

sorry to the real pamela i didn't mean to profess my undying love like that . sorry that you're the coolest girl ever

What does M.liu mean?

Tbh the first letter of my sister's name is M but I wasn't really thinking about it when I got that name. Idk I just like it that way, if feels original

your fanfiction is valid

Montresor (and Willtresor) are the Bad Ending of White Raven III: now it is personal

Well, after realizing that I have like (check the list) two unfinished "sagas" of essays, I remembered that I had this 80% done and I told myself that maybe it was an excellent time to get on with this shit to keep kicking the archetypes and gothic tragedy essay under the rug

When I thought about this ("hey, if Montresor has so many similarities to Lenore and Annabel, where does that leave Will?"), my first thought was that the parallel would be this:

We have a charming blondie charlatan who arrives just in time to offer their "friendship" (wink, wink) to a poor individual who couldn't be hungrier for affection and validation. A deal sealed with a handshake, otherwise.

Here the parallel between Will and Lenore is drawn in that they are both rather reactive people: they don't take the initiative to do things, they react to things that happen around them. For example, Will wasn't the one who came up with the idea of putting Duke behind the wall, just as Lenore didn't come up with this whole fake rivalry scheme.

But neither of them refuse to participate, either because they think they can get away with it, or because they don't stop to think about the consequences of the things they get into. And, in general, they tend to panic when things don't go their way and immediately back off (even when that's not possible).

But this is where the parallel ends, because their personalities and approaches are completely different: Will tends to curl up in a ball and look for excuses not to get hurt, while Lenore is an extremely blunt weapon capable of taking whatever is thrown at her.

So you can imagine the look on my face when, after thinking it over, I realized that the person Will has the most in common with is not Lenore.

It's Annabel.

Because if we had a nickel for every time we saw a character in Nevermore…

Be willing to tolerate physical harm to protect an object of affection whose game has backfired.

Idealizing that object of affection to obsessive levels.

Taking harmful attitudes out of a desire to be accommodating because they think that's what that person expects of them.

And putting up with it even though it is tearing them apart inside...

We would have two nickels. It's not much, but it's interesting that it happened twice.

With that, I could up the ante and point out something else that Annabel and Will have in common: they're both invisible people. Will is someone no one gives a second glance to, while Annabel is seen more as an object or an idea than an individual (a pretty accessory in life, an unbeatable queen in death). They don't really matter to anyone.

Except for one person. One person for whom they are willing to give absolutely everything. Their lives, their physical integrity, their identity.

This creates an enormous fear of being abandoned by that person, when they have given them such an important part of their self-construction, who are they without them?

Then there is the particular way in which they both understand relationships. Annabel has openly stated that she sees social relationships as commercial exchanges. It is not known whether Will has a similar view, but in practice he behaves much like Annabel in this respect: they see themselves as important to the extent that they can be useful to their particular person. Tools to be used, rather than individuals deserving some form of appreciation, care, or even affection for simply being them.

Under that premise, it's to be expected that Montresor or Lenore will discard them the moment something more useful or better comes along, because that's what you do with tools. If some of them end up in the trash, it's because Annabel or Will have failed to remain useful, and they need to make amends for their mistakes in order to be considered worthy of a second look.

Which makes it tremendously ironic that Lenore says this to Will…

When in the midst of a panic attack, this is one of the first concerns Annabel has to express.

At this point, the difference between the two situations jumps out: Lenore cares about Annabel. Where Montresor is more than happy to use Will's complexes to keep him chained to him, Lenore is far from being comfortable with all that crap. Again, what draws the lines in the end is that there are people who have their hearts in the right place and there are people who don't.

But I think there's one thing that's a little darker: please watch Montresor's face when he realizes that the person he's choking is Will.

And watch his complete lack of reaction when Lenore pulls it out of his face.

I think the fucked up thing about the situation is that Montresor seems to care about Will. At least enough to feel a certain amount of remorse. But in a world where there are winners and losers (a perspective he shares with Annabel), where it doesn't pay to care about the losers if you're a winner, Montresor doesn't have the resources to treat Will any better. Even if he wanted to, he's too deep into toxic patterns of behavior to show him any degree of kindness, because the only way this man is able to relate is through abuse, control, and manipulation.

This is extremely fucked up when you consider that this is the fuzzy line that separates Lenore and Montresor in the roles they have within the relationship with Annabel and Will.

At the end of the day, the Willtresor is a dark reflection of the White Raven, because that's the consequence of instrumentalizing the relationship in this way: you have one party who benefits from what the other is willing to do for them -and no matter how much they care, it still relegates them to the role of tools- and another person desperately picking up crumbs of validation because they don't think they deserve any better.

Looking warm and comfy👍

Latley, the weather has been cold...