[Wednesday, 23 August 2023]

"I really like you. I wasn’t looking for anyone, to be honest. You were just my friend, but somewhere down the line, i realised that nobody gets me like you do. You understand me. You find my lame jokes funny. You have the same choices as mine. With you, i don’t have to explain myself. With you, i don’t have to be someone i am not."

"You are my ideal person. You are the right amount of caring and mature. You match my crazy. You are an early riser and I sleep late, but i love how i wake up to cute good morning wishes. You make my day. You make me happy, but i can’t be with you. I'm afraid of the idea of falling in love again. The last time i fell in love, i fell hard. All it left me with was a broken heart and a lot of sleepless nights."

"The thing is, i am not ready.  I'm not ready to give my heart to someone. It took me so long to be okay, and the fear is what holds me back. So, even though i know that what we have is perfect, i am too scared to take a chance. I'm too scared to give love another chance."

I love being warm - taking hot showers, drinking hot coffee or steamed milk, cuddling up in my fave blanket or just lying in his arms

Being someone else's comfort person is so underrated. Like gurl do you know the joy of knowing that your mere existence makes someone love their life a little more. They wait the whole day so they can call you and rant about everything that happened. Knowing that you just being right there is sufficient for them. The joy of being someone else's happiness<3

At times, I think I am my life's biggest paradox. The way I think, the way I act, the way I speak, my whole existence is like a paradox to me.

I love nature but I also don't like rain and I am afraid of thunderstorms. I love making friends but I don't want to tell them my problems. I tell my friends it's human to make mistakes but my tiniest mistakes eat me away. I am extremely ambitious and love the things I do, but then, I am extremely lazy too. I am a hopeless romantic, very hopeless, but I am afraid if I fall too hard for someone I might lose my own self. I am very confident about myself but it won't take me the slightest moment to get insecure when someone better read, better dressed shows up. I love myself, a lot. But, there are times I look in the mirror and don't like the way I am looking. I am an over-sharer(if that's even a word, but you get it) but I also have some major trust issues. I don't care about what others think but I also want to be likeable. I am really sensitive but I am also really tough. I am very happy but I also cry a lot.

Even my thoughts. At times, I'd think people don't really have bad intentions, it's just a matter of perspective but then I also judge a lot of people for the one thing they did wrong to me. I'd think honesty is just so very important but I also think a truth that might hurt someone shouldn't be said unless necessary.

There's so much of these things that this list could go on forever. But, then I think our lives are a little too long to hold on to just one personality, just one perspective, just one ideology. Wouldn't it be too boring to live such a predictable life?

Loving yourself is fun until you realize you are afraid to fall in love with someone else, in the fear of doing yourself wrong, of falling too hard, of not getting loved enough

According to Palestinian prisoners society, 142 women have been kidnapped from gaza by Israeli forces, including little children since the beginning of the ground invasion. These women's fates remain unknown. Yesterday, new pictures surfaced showing women kept among the kidnapped Palestinian men and boys who were stripped naked and taken by the IOF.

This is horrifying, new pictures taken by the Israeli soldiers themselves surface every day.

Men, Women and children seeking shelter in UNRWA schools are not "military age men".

Never have I felt this wretched by a book, never! Being weak at heart I intentionally avoid reading disturbing books but I just couldn't resist this one. I finished this in two sittings, first half out of excitement of starting and the second half of wanting to see it throught the end. I had already been warned about part 3, but reading it was one of the most bravest reading I've ever done, NGL. Part 3 was so dreadful, treacherous, exhilarating I could feel a knot in my throat just reading it, I was literally squeezing on anything in hold to let the feeling subside. At points I felt I should just leave it but I knew it wouldn't leave me alone, so I saw through it. Towards the end I had developed major trust issues and just waited for how worse it could go, it did worsen and worsen but the two of them saw through it two, the third could not. I was numb. As much of a hopeless romantic I am I wouldn't dare to say all's well that ends well NOOO!!! I'd rather have them be seperated than go through all that they had to go through.

The worst part is that it's not just fiction, it's a reality of thousands and thousands of women around the world, it was the same 100 years ago and even today in not just war stricken Afghanistan but also in the society we live in. All the freedom and alternatives we take for granted would feel like heaven to those women. And calling out all the stupid illiterate donkeys who twist religion to impose their will on women, when they themselves know what kind of assholes they are. Prepare your excuses well for the day of judgement.

Since I started journaling again, I re-did the cover of my journal. Definitely lovin it ♡♡♡

i'd love it if my friends rant to me about their problems cuz its just wrong that we laughed together but you cried alone

“stop traumadumping to your friends tell this to your therapist” my god they paywalled human connection