Helping Someone Suffering From Depression

Helping someone suffering from depression

This is for everyone who is seeking help on how to help someone suffering from depression. If you are dealing with this illness, please show this to your friends and family. Showing love and support can make a difference. Here are some tips:

1. Thank you for educating yourself

I know that having a loved one suffering from mental illnesses is very hard. You are not to blame. And you are doing the right thing by trying to educate yourself on how to help them. I am so proud that you are there for your friend, child, girlfriend, boyfriend, mother, father etc. Things will become better eventually and you can greatly impact your loved one's mental health.

2. Understanding depression

Depression is a real illness and its seriousness should not be underestimated. Do not blame your loved one for being drained from motivation and energy even if you do not unterstand the reasons. Do you blame someone suffering from cancer for being exhausted, for example? No.

Do not take it personally when your loved one says hurtful things. This is a common sign of depression. It is the illness talking and not your loved one. Please show compassion. I understand that this might be hard sometimes, but it is crucial to show your support. Otherwise your loved one's guilt might consume them which will feed the depression.

Saying things such as "But your life is totally fine.", "Just snap out of this!", "Why can't you be happy? I'm doing so much to help you!', "Oh, stop being lazy!" etc will NOT cure a serious illness. It will do the opposite.

You can help a depressed person, yes, but however hard you may try, healing someone else's depression is not possible. Still, offering your support is crucial to help your loved one to recover!!!

Know that this illness can lead to your loved one losing his, her, their life. Do not panic. Just know that this is serious and that they need all the support they can get.

3. recognizing symptoms of depression

Here are some examples:

Eating way less or even nothing or eating too much

Sleeping way less or sleeping too much

Abusing alc*hol or dr*gs

Having a negative outlook on life

Having little to no interest in anything anymore/ no motivation

Not wanting to leave the house/ the room etc.

Not being emotionally available

Saying things such as "I can't do this anymore!", "I am so exhausted!" etc.

4. Talking to someone about depression

Please show compassion and make them understand how much you love them. Do not blame your loved one for being difficult etc.

Please do not make this about yourself. Yes, l know you are suffering as well because seeing someone you love in that state is awful, but telling this to your loved one might only make his, her, their depression worse.

Giving advice might sometimes not be the best way to approach things at first. It might put too much pressure on your loved one. Showing love and understanding the illness will do way more to help the healing process.

Be persistent without pressuring them. People suffering from depression tend to withdraw themselves from other people. Show them that they can talk to you - without regretting it in the end.

5. How to start a conversation

Do something nice for them. For example, make their favorite food, bring them a snack, etc.

Sit with them for a while and start the conversation. Here is an example:

You know I love you, right? I've been noticing that you haven't been well lately and I'd really like to talk about that. I want you to be happy because you mean so much to me.

6. Examples of things you can say to your loved one:

I love you and I understand that this is not your fault. I will always be here for you!

You do not have to go through this alone. We are together in this.

If there is anything I can do to help you, I will do it immediately.

You can always come to me. Tell me anything.

No matter what, I will help you heal. I will not get mad when you withdraw from me or get angry at me. No matter what you do or what will happen, I will never abandon you.

Is there anything that happened to you and left you feel this way? (Trauma has to be talked about!)

Would you like to see a doctor? Would you like me to come?

7. Understanding the risk of suic*de and self harm

Always encourage your loved one to get professional help as the risks are too high. Here are some signs the person might be suic*dal:

- Talking about self-hatred, hopelessness, not seeing a point in existing anymore - Saying that their trauma is too big to ever heal and that things will never get better - Looking for things that can harm them and e. g. hiding them somewhere (for example a piece of glass) - Suddenly becoming very calm!

As treatment might sound pointless to your loved one (a common sign of depression), be persistent! Do not give up on them. Make appointments, tell them you will take care of everything.

8. Take care of yourself

Please do not neglect your own health! Thank you so much for helping your loved one. You are doing the right thing and there is so much hope! I am so grateful for anyone who is currently doing their best to help their person's healing process. You are saving a life! Thank you so much.

As always, if you are struggling right now and would like to talk to someone, please join our #selfhelpforstudents server on Discord.

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Love, Sophia