— LET THE FEAR YOU HAVE FALL AWAY

My Headcanons about Mephisto

“Who are you then? I am part of that power which eternally wills evil and eternally works good.”

He is the demon who made a bet with God about Job - if now most of his bets are for his pure entertainment and aren't intended to harm others, then he could be called a 100% demon. Heartless, sly (as if he wasn't now) and, most importantly, he hated humans, considering them as inferior beings. His attacks were extremely intense and cruel in order to quickly win the bet. He believed that if everything he had was taken away from him at one moment, Job would quickly turn away from God. As we all know, he miscalculated, and this was probably the seed of his later change of opinion about people and their nature. Although he did not change his opinion that people seek pleasure, most often in simple things (such as sex or money), but he does not see it as something negative.

Despite everything, he likes Arthur very much and likes to tease him when they meet. Mephisto always asks him when he'll find a wife and if he liked his latest gift (usually dakikamuras with half-dressed anime girls that Arthur throws away after receiving them). Arthur doesn't share this sympathy and always tries to see him as little as possible. It's hard to make him hate someone. You have to do a lot of things… You have to be like Lucifer to Mephisto hate you.

He ranked his siblings from his favourite to his least favourite. It was really hard for him to choose his favourite, but in the end he placed it in first place… I won't tell you! Guess which of his sibling he likes the most! ^^ Do I need to tell you that Lucifer comes last place in this ranking?

He owns several entertainment companies, and these are his favourite companies that he doesn't skimp on with his money. He often visits these companies and checks on how the work on the various series is going, he is also a first viewer and reviewer. Furthermore, he tried to be a scriptwriter himself, but in the end it was considered completely unsuitable for him and he gave it up. What's more, he also tried to buy a conglomerate which created his favourite (at the time at least) anime series, but was fortunately dissuaded.

Would it surprise anyone that he's had so many partners (both women and men) over the long years that he can't even remember how many? If you asked him how many partners he's had, he'd think about it for a good few hours (a good way to shut him up for a while, by the way). Nowadays, he didn't have that many of them. Anime girls are enough for him. ^^

While we're in the topic of anime girls, his list of favourites is as long as the distance from here to Mars. And even the distance to Mars will be shorter.

He has been banned from the kitchen IN HIS OWN residence for life after he managed to burn the water (no joke, it's unknown how he did that) and almost burned down the entire property. Belial has been keeping him out of that room ever since.

Killing a character you don't care about:

Killing a character who genuinely love and put a lot of effort into making:

↠   chiyuki icons ~♡ like/reblog if you save  © on twitter @mewseok

Hey, I was in the amazing street art show and I I came up with this headcanon in my head...

Nikolai Gogol as street performer who love attention from public. He love audience ovations — so very satisfying even more than money, which he earn from performance. He do this for his own freedom. For freedom from his oppressive and closed to new things family, whose doesn't support his passion. He does it to spite them — just as he takes you from the audience in spite of them and choose you to help in his „new trick”, assuring you that you will be safe in „his strong arms”. Lifting you a few meters wasn't too difficult with his ability like wasn't too difficult impressing the audience, whose rubbed their eyes in amazement.

When hen you were already on the ground, you weren't able to identify why your heart was beating faster — because of stress or because of the handsome artist's gaze...

Warning: it's not about Kallen, but Kallen is important character | a little ooc (?) | AU where Otto and Kallen have happy life (those children deserve for their happy ending!) | Kallen as the best wingwoman in the earth | fluff |

— Hmmm... are my cookies good? — Kallen asked with her normal optimistic, happy tone a fully of energy. — I really cooked those sweeties a lot of time!

— Yhmmm... — Otto barely swallowed his piece, similiar to you.

Howether those legends about a bad cooking skills of Kaslana's family members weren't hyperbole...

— Sweet cookies for my sweet friends! — Kaslana announced with happy and some kind of proud.

Those cookies weren't sweet. It tasted even worse than previous soup by which... NO! You didn't want remember this. Anyway, you and Otto didn't want to cause distress her by a such trivial thing as cookies. So we gladly nodded for what she clapped with satisfaction.

— It's really delicious, my dear Kallen. — Otto said as if he wanted to confirm his gesture. He grabbed the next cookie and he tried fiding his disgust.

— I'm happy that we finally have time for a friendly meeting, picnic among trees and... OH! — she suddenly a broke her monologue as she remembered something. — I put something in house! Be right back!

Kallen quickly ran, but she didn't stope a far to place of picnic. Her glad gaze attentively stared you and her childhood friend with expectancy what's happening at this moment, when you and Otto were alone.

But much to her surprise, Otto by gestures tried ask you about tissue, which you gave him with compassion in your eyes and face. It looked like he spit her cookies out to tissue and throw it into the the closest garbage. Of course, Kallen weren't happy by this situation.

— Not enough that's disgusting, this is unkind too! — she whispered to herself, but her gaze still was staring to her two friends. Otto sat down closer to you than earlier for what a Kallen's breath stopped with excitement.

— Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! — she chanted in her mind, but her a long awaited dream didn't coming, a least didn't in this moment.

You two didn't talk by a bit too long time for her. Her eyes squinted with disappointment — she didn't initiated and setted this situation for this deadly silence. She wanted seen you and him together or heard any conversation, really, any talking about common interests, which you have, even if she didn't understand it.

— I must do anything... — she whispered with desperation, cower in bushes. She strained her mind to thinking, but this wasn't to work. Suddenly, fortuna or different god smiled to her and her work.

— So... well... heh... — you tried say anything for loosen up the atmosphere. Otto turned around towards you and gave you curious gaze mixed with charming smile, which would bring every person to knees.

— Do you need anything from me? — he asked resisting his head on hand.

— N-no! I'm not, I only wanted talking with you, it's everything, what's I need from you! — you quickly explained your intention with a bit panic in voice, fearing as he understanding it.

— Oh... talking? Good, but about what? — he chuckled on your scared behaviour. It was really interesting and cute, when usually strong and fearless individual was becoming in shy.

— Are he flirting? — Kallen's breath stopped again on this think. Her guesswork about Otto's interest in you is true. She even had evidence for support this!

Meanwhile you still blushing, no knowledge, how you should interpreted his words. His gaze suddenly tuned around path which Kallen went off.

— Kallen already don't back a long time... — he whispered with worry. You looked where his eyes was, and you had admit right to him.

— Yeah, but don't worry, she's strong and can handle any threat! — you tried calm him from worries about his long-time friend, while Kallen was proud that you've think a such high about her, and Otto smiled for this.

— It's true... — he said with a little smile and thought for a brief moments. — ...she's really strong.

You approached to his and rested your head on his arm. His smell was really nice – not water cologne, but what's... you didn't specified this. But this smell made you feel relaxed and safe next to him. As in safe home, where you could return, when you need...

— Hmmmm... — you heard his silent, warm chuckled, and after a few seconds you quickly step aside with blushed face. You wanted apologise him for the discomfort, but his reaction didn't show discomfort, on the contrary.

Meanwhile, in bushes, Kallen almost jumped from happiness, which a full her person. Finally, what's happening and you both had brave. She waited a long time for this moment, but... this wasn't enough.

— I guess must leave their alone in Otto's room with bottle of wine... hihihihihihihi! — she chuckled and beamed with pride for her genius and perfect plan.

“How’s your WIP going?”

"Have you made any progress?”

“How close are you to being done?”

Hi how are you?

Hello, I'm good, but I don't publish posts by stress and my situation in school and it's a little problem for me... :)

But generally I'm good.

Do you think you could expand more on your Otto ramble? :3

You'd never be safe from his prying eyes or ears. He could set up cameras and microphones in your home and install a GPS tracking chip in the back of your neck without you even noticing.

That is, all assuming that he hasn't already moved you into his home yet.

If you're a Valkyrie/work for Schicksal, don't be surprised when you're suddenly barred from going on missions and are "promoted" to be his personal assistant who does nothing but paperwork all day and follows him around to meetings and announces his daily schedule.

Otto collects items that you've used, anything to get his hands on a source of your DNA. Things like your used toothbrush, a piece of chewed up gum, your pen that has your fingerprints on it, a lock of hair, and of course - the "Holy Relic" as he calls it - your used undergarments.

Anyways, Otto is a fucking loser and drinks jizz out of solo cups and that's all that has to be said about him.

[Read from left to right]

(Something I want the reader to understand is that what Fyodor says in the last 2 slides is not a rationally attained conclusion- but a developing coping mechanism that will manifest as a delusional mindset. The trauma from having accidentally killed people is easier for his brain to survive if it convinces itself that it was somehow the right thing to do and that Fyodor was “meant” to do it. Once I post the next few parts I will explain more in detail.)

All thanks go to Arabella W. for helping me out with the script <3

— BUT WHEN YOU PULL THE TRIGGER, IT FEELS SO RIGHT

RECEIVERS。stalker!nikolai gogol x fem!reader

WISHCARD。He is just watching quietly and does nothing other than keep his eyes still. He is enjoying the sight—you look very his, just existing, standing still like a good baby doll, like you are fucking his, in his room, in his place—“You look so mine.”

BOUQUET。stalker au, 18+ content, dark content, harsh languages, dubious consent, heavy depictions of violence and blood, limbs mutilation, gun violence, emotional manipulation, toxic relationship, smell fetish/olfactophilia, male masturbation, cunnilingus, obsessive and possessive behaviour, hints of masochism, anxiety struggles, struggling to breathe, mentions of attempted suicide, heavy hints of stockholm syndrome, intentional repetitive words, everyone has fucking issues, dead dove do not eat (please read this add. notes!)

PRICE。approx. 25.2k

FREEGIFT。hit me right (johnny goth), manipulate (mxze, clarei), bathroom (montell fish), skins (the haunting) — spotify playlist

OTHER SHOP。also available in AO3

❝ Sometimes I wish you are the one who kill me. And perhaps by then, I won't feel regretful about it.

I have tried to push myself to the brink of death. But every time—every fucking time—the sight of you, the vision of our future, the moment of our encounter, all appear in my very fucking eyes, as if I'm living through the whole moment before my brain decides that I need to stay alive although my heart tries to keep me dead.

I can't die. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to miss everything I can do with you. I do not want you to leave me. You're killing me and yet you're keeping me alive.

I used to say I would choose my own soul over my happiness. But lately, over the year, I find myself choosing you over anything. You are my death who gives me hell and the angel who gives me heaven. It's almost ridiculous how I still fall no matter how hard I try to isolate myself. I tried, my love, I tried to stay away from you. I tried to not chase over you. That is why I don't pursue you, only watching from afar for a year. But indeed, no matter how long I hold myself, you and your beauty, your face, your attitude, your hobbies, likes, dislikes, kinks, quirks, looks, presence and just your mere existence—they all pull me back to you. I swear, my love, I think God has fated you with me, so I would believe Him again. I think God sent you so I would feel something so strongly after I tried my very hardest to dim my emotions and empathy towards another human being. I used to hate you for that—how dare you!

And hereby, my little dove. I declare to you, from the bottom of my heart, I am hopelessly in love with you. I have envisioned our future together—in Hell and Heaven. I will take your hand every time you appear in my dream before I try to push my body to the brink of death. Run as far as you can and I’ll chase you. Hide as quiet as you can and I'll find you. Love as much as you can and I'll love you more.

I will always be with you.

P/S: I won't tell a soul about anything you have written in your journal. I like reading your experiences, your fantasies, your frustrations and your stories. Perhaps by the time you notice this secret note in your little book, we are already one with death. Ah, this is embarrassing to confess. ❞

― ♧

“Vanilla…”

You sniff slightly Nikolai's jacket that you got from your encounter with him in the haunted escape house. It still has his scent, albeit already fading over time. It has been days since that incident though.

Nikolai still ‘visits’ you. He has gotten so good at hiding himself now. Sometimes you do not see him at the window but then he will give you creepy messages about how you look so beautiful in just your skimpy panties. And then it hits you that he has been watching and he is around. He is just not in your sight.

“Come out if you have balls, bastard.” —you remember that message you gave him when he sent you a picture of yourself cooking. But he refused to leave his hiding and just kept bothering you with messages and pictures.

However, yesterday, he did come out. He appeared, sitting at the dining table with a cup of water. He has made himself too comfortable in your own house.

“What the fuck are you doing in my kitchen?!”

“You called me.”

And what ends up last night is just you bouncing on his cock shamefully.

Bam! — you slam the washer.

“Fuck you if you're watching me!” you shout out to nowhere. Just loud enough so Nikolai would hear you if he is around. You huff before you put away his jacket and start doing your laundry. It has been hard for you to keep doing your chores when all you can think of is your stalker who still wants to play this hide-and-chase game.

After you start the washer, you grab his jacket and look at the material. You know he is rich, somewhat. His accessories and his shirt are just from a luxurious brand. This jacket is also from a brand you recognise. You wonder if his circus business has been spiking up so much lately that he could afford such things.

Or maybe he does have another job. That would explain his criminal talents.

Suddenly you remember the early memories you had with Nikolai. You noticed him. And then you called the police on him, only for him to kill them. You actually did not know the police were killed until you came back to the station to make another report. The police on duty told you the story and it was easy for you to put the puzzles together.

You feel guilty still. You want to believe that you are not the reason for those police to be killed. But…

Ding! — the doorbell rings and you are snapped out of your daydream. You walk out of the laundry room and get to the door as it rings once more. You put Nikolai's jacket on the couch before you walk to the door. You take a peek through the peephole, expecting Nikolai. But surprisingly, it is a man you do not expect. You open the door, just a little.

“Alex?”

Alex smiles at you, but it does not look like a happy smile.

“May I come in?”

― ♧

“I just wanna ask…”

Alex is in your house now. You two are just standing. You hug Nikolai's jacket close to your body, seeking comfort in it. Alex does not look like his usual shy boy persona.

“Is it about what happened in the haunted escape house?” you cut him off before he could even open his mouth. He looks surprised when he hears that but regardless, he nods slowly.

“Can you… tell me everything?” Alex says. You purse your lips. He then looks at you and steps forward. “Please, I need to know.”

“You know enough.”

Alex brushes his hair back and seems to be frustrated. “That man who chased me with a fucking knife stalked me. He stalked me…! And you know him. I deserve to know everything..!” Alex pursues harder, making you flinch as his voice raises a bit. He takes a deep breath.

“Is he your lover?”

“No… No, he's not…”

Alex looks at you, visibly confused. But you remain silent. You do not want to give him the answers to everything. And this is for his own good too.

But this fucking man is insisting.

He grabs your arm, pulling you closer. You become tense as you eye him in caution. He says your name, softly, as if he is trying to reassure you.

“Listen. Listen to me. You can trust me ‘right? Please, just tell me the truth. I care about you. I know it's obvious already that I like you, in a… more romantic way… I do not try to lure you to like me back. I am genuinely worried and care for you. So please, tell me. Was that man your lover, or just someone you happened to sleep with? Who is he actually? Why did he stalk me? What kind of person you're involved with?” Alex demands as his grip on your arm gets tighter. You frown, starting to get frustrated by his action. He then shakes your arm, stepping closer to you until your body is practically brushing against him. You wince, trying to make a distance as you feel really uncomfortable with him right now.

“Let me go!”

“Not until you tell me the truth.”

I can't. I don't want anyone else to get murdered just because of me.

I don't want to put Nikolai in danger too.

Seeming to have failed trying to get his answers, Alex lets you go and sighs softly. He looks down to the floor, solemn. For a second, he glances at you, which makes you wonder if he has made any assumptions for himself.

“…. Can you leave?” you ask slowly. Alex looks surprised and he sighs once more before he backs away to the door. You trail him at a good distance and finally, he steps out of your house. Alex turns his head to you, eyebrows connected as he whispers,

“I promise I’ll help you.”

You say nothing, only looking at him. In the back of your head, a question pops up—something you have found weird for a while but never get the chance to ask it. It would be rude if you ask him now, expecting his honesty while you're also being dishonest to him. But still, you need to know if—

“I never tell anyone about myself that much, only for a selective few like the higher-ups. A friend from a different department in our office has no right to seek the other’s private confidential information,” you speak and Alex stops in his tracks. He eyes you, confused by your sudden change of topic. You press your lips together.

“Alex, how do you know where I live?”

Your eyes are on the ground, scared to look up to the man in front of you. You hear Alex sighs deeply and you glance at him, seeing that he is avoiding you.

“You were drunk, remember? Your friend told me…”

Is that so?

“Oh… Oh, yeah, that… makes sense, I guess,” you mumble. Alex gives you a small smile, nodding as if to affirm his words. But for some reason, your heart is screaming at you, panicked.

“I… I’ll go first… Goodnight… And yeah, I’ll... I will try to help you…” he says before he walks away, almost trying to leave the area as quickly as possible. You close the door and you lock it. You realise your hand has been shaking terribly.

You turn to the window where Nikolai would always be. But it's dark and empty. He is not here tonight.

Paranoia coursing in your head as you roam around your house, locking all the windows and doors. You turn off all lights and run to your room, where it's the safest place for you to be—well, not anymore. Not when Nikolai admitted he did hide in your closet once unnoticed.

“Get out!” you scream at the closed closet, expecting something but unfortunately, nothing happens. Nothing emerges. It's just you and your heavy breathing in your dark room.

“I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine—” the same words are repeated at the tip of your tongue as you try to make your bed and prepare to sleep. You need to sleep. You need to let your consciousness fade away. You need to escape to dream.

You palm your face, trying to calm your heart that is suddenly fearing everything. You sit on your bed, wrapping your whole body under the blanket, curling inside, legs close to the chest as if there's a monster under the bed.

You wonder what you should do in this situation. There is no normality in your life. Everything seems to flip just a bit when Nikolai gets even closer to you, and everything is turned 180° when he starts to involve your coworkers— Gosh, you cannot even call them coworkers because of how different they treat you after the event at the haunted house.

Of course, you did try to pretend everything was fine after you were practically ‘lost’ in the haunted house. You tried to go to work unbothered. But perhaps Julia and her friends have caught onto something.

Their strange looks, their curious mocking smile, their sarcastic remarks.

“Hey~! Do you wanna go to the haunted fair again? I think we want to try more funhouses!”

“Of course you would like to go again right? Who knows if you could find a boyfriend there?”

“Hey, you know, if you have someone you can introduce to us, we’d be happy to celebrate for you.”

You want to ignore their remarks. So for the past week, you ate alone, you left work five minutes early, and you made yourself busy, adding more tasks to your empty to-do list. You wonder what Julia and the others know. You wonder if Alex tells or asks them anything since he is in a completely different department. What did they think about you suddenly having to leave? What did they think about the mysterious jacket you suddenly possessed? What did they think about your messy appearance?

You feel regretful to not think about the consequences before you ran away from the group—just because you needed to escape at that time. It's your fault that this treatment is happening to you. It's your fault that you decided to stop Nikolai like a fucking hero. It's your fault that you wanted to feel that feeling of having friends enjoying your hobby too.

It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault—

“You're crying.”

Your breath hitches. You feel your cheek, wet with tears. You do not even realise you are crying, too drowned in your thoughts. Your face is also a bit sweaty from being under the cover. Hearing his voice, you slowly pull the blanket off your head. Your eyes meet with a pair of mismatched eyes, staring at you deeply.

“What's wrong, my love?”

Nikolai's voice is sultry and soft as his hands reach out to cup your face. He is crouching by your bed. He is wearing black clothes. His porcelain skin and white hair are glowing under the moonlight shining through the window on the wall.

“Tell me? Who made you cry? Why are you crying?” he asks again. You sniff and shake your head, not wanting to tell but your heart betrays you when it becomes so heavy that you start to sob again.

Nikolai frowns, concerned. He gently pulls you to sit up as he sits right beside you on your bed. His chest is heaving slowly and he looks pained. His hands are still warm on your cheeks, thumb wiping your tears. He scoots closer, leaning forward to kiss your forehead as his hands roam to your neck and back, caressing you gently. He whispers sweet nothings to you, assuring you that you can cry to him.

“It's okay, sweetheart. Take your time.”

“It's been hard, isn't it? You’ve done so well, love. You really did.”

“I'm here for you, alright?”

You feel loved.

It is weird to feel loved by a stalker—a murderer, a dangerous person even. It is something more than just a simple crush indeed. He is too intense, too obsessive, and yet he loves you.

And maybe you are smitten by him too. His weird way of affection, his obsession, his craving, his touches, his attention—they are probably the reasons why you find it hard to pull yourself away from his embrace—secured, safe, loved.

I love him too. — your heart admits.

I do not love him. I do not like him. I hate him. I hate him so much. He ruins me. — your head denies.

“Hey,”

You finally look at him. You find it a little surprising to see Nikolai looks like he is in pain. You wipe your tears with your arms, receiving a chuckle from him. “Adorable,” he whispers.

“What's with that face?” you ask, voice hoarse and slow. Nikolai tilts his head, confused. He touches his own face before he laughs a bit.

“I think I am in pain.”

“Y-You got hurt somewhere..?” you ask, eyes scanning his body. Nikolai chuckles before he touches your chin, bringing your face up to his gaze.

“It hurts me to see you're hurting, love.”

How can he be so sympathetic? How can a bad guy like him feel that?

“I saw him,” your eyes widen. Nikolai's gaze turns serious, emitting danger as his voice drops. “Did he make you cry? Did he hurt you? Do you want me to kill him?”

He holds your face. “Just give me your words, dearest.”

You shake your head. “N-No… No, please just… don't do anything bad.”

“You sure?”

“Yes...”

Nikolai is silent. Then he nods too. “Okay. If that's what you want. But, that does not mean I won't though. If he lays a hand on you, I will gift his head to your door.”

“But why though?” he asks shortly after. You wager your answer silently as your fingers fiddle with the hem of his shirt.

“Because it's wrong… and murder is bad.”

“Such a heroic answer. That’s what your head tells you, no?”

You swallow hard, looking at him. He is waiting for a response, so you nod, just once.

“And… what does your heart tell you?” he asks as his finger traces from your collarbone, down to your chest, twirling a circle on your skin. “Does your heart wish the people who wronged you unfortunate? Does it scream death to them and backtrack once you realize, it is wrong to feel so? Do you feel guilty about it?”

Nikolai leans forward, kissing your cheek before he whispers to your ear, “Isn't that caging for you?”

You push him away, just enough to make him pull away his face from you. “W-What’s your point?”

“My point is, if you abandon your morals, maybe you would take my hand right now.”

You look down. You do agree to an extent but still, you wonder if it is the right thing to be with someone like him, knowing that he committed atrocities. Will you be fine, living with the thought of your lover managed to kill a few people because of you?

For a second, you want to ask, why did he fall in love with you anyway? What did he see in you that makes him so hopelessly in love? What is so special with your basic ass that makes him so obsessed?

But your weak heart does not dare to receive any answer regarding that. You are afraid that he would reply with shits like “Because your body is sexy,” “Because your face is cute,” “Because you have the same kinks and fantasies as mine,” —no, no, no you are not ready to hear anything that would crush your already destroyed self-esteem.

Perhaps one day you would ask him—Why do you love me?

“Something in your mind, dear? You starin’ me hard,” he says, shutting your thoughts.

“Just… thinking about something.”

“You ain't telling me?”

“Maybe one day.”

Nikolai's smile widens. He grins. “I’ll wait for that day.”

“You’d wait? What if I take forever to tell you?”

“Then I will still wait.”

He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. “I will always wait for you.”

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