I Just Found Your "Whos Old Now" Fic And I A) AM IN LOVE And B) CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THE ANGST POTENTIAL

“My lord, I know you are the demon lord and I am but a lowly advisor, but please listen to me. I suggest that instead of sending the hero slightly stronger demons to kill each time, we just send the strongest one right away”

Years later, a child is born. You are their mark.

Everyone is born with a clearly visible mark that denotes which God created them. It has been so for time immemorial. Then, markless, you are born.

Constantine stared. The summoning had worked... mostly. Well he thought it worked?! There was an appropriate amount of glowing, chanting, unexplained cold and the feeling of magic being drawn in, but he had expected...

"Can I help you?" The person-teenager asked, voice slightly muffled from behind the intricate flaming crown completely obscuring their face. It settled on his shoulders, rather uncomfortable looking in all honesty, and tilted funnily, but was still large enough to obscure the child's(?) face except for a tuft of flowing, fluffy white hair.

"Yeah," Constantine replied after a moment. "We're looking for Phantom, King of the Infinite Realms, Pariah's Bane, Twice Savior of the Infinite Realms, bearer of many titles, etcetera," He chewed on his cigarette and tried to act casual. "We tried summonin' him and got you instead. Know why?"

The kid let out a very long sigh, and slumped over where he hovered, crown tilting precariously on his shoulders. "That's cause I'm me. Phantom. That's me. King of the Infinite Realms, person with too many fucking titles. Who are-," The kid paused where he had tilted the oversized crown up to peer out at the League members gathered around the circle, gave a little yip of surprise and dropped the crown back down in front of his face. "The Justice League," the kid squeaked, "I got summoned by the Justice League. Cool, cool, I am being SO normal about this,"

Constantine got the feeling that the kid, Phantom, (a kid whose crown was too big for his head, who still got starry eyed at heroes when by many accounts he was one) was very much not being as cool as he wanted to be.

DPxDC Prompt where Danny gets ghost king summoned by the JL, but it’s one of those “crown too big for he gotdamn head” situations, and not in a way that looks cool.

It’s just completely obscuring his face, sat on his shoulders with tufts of white hair poking out. 

Danny’s only glad they can’t see him blushing (and that he can hide the damn thing when he’s not actively forced to reveal the artifacts by, say, a fucking summoning).

Danny: I want to Take A Nap, does that count?

"This a diplomatic summoning so be respectful-"

"Yeah, bats, we got it." Flash interrupted him, after all this was the 90th time he repeated it.

Batman huffed and Nightwing, who was there to keep Batman from looking too scary, had to work to keep his laugh inside.

"Okay, let's do this" Constantine mutters and starts the ritual. Which, he might add, was very confusing.

A few minutes later, the circle on the floor starts turning green, a swirly lazarus green pit opens and-

"A kid?" Flash sputters out.

"Wow, that's rude you know, I didn't choose to die looking this way" Said the boy? Ghost. Said the ghost.

Nightwing had to hold back a wince because the ghost looked very much like a mix between all of his siblings, change the hair and eye color and you got them down.

"We, uhm, this is supposed to summon-" Superman starts, with that voice of his that is not meant to be condescending but-

"I do have other forms, but most think it's quite...unsettling. So yes, I am the ghost king, phantom. What do you need" phantom said, sounding quite annoyed. "You were interrupting me you know."

Oh no. The ghost king. Is a.

Moody teenager.

Constantine: There are hyper specific manners, and if you break them you will join the kings court as an undead thrall.

Batman: Okay. Young man, you need to eat healthy.

Danny Phantom, teenager, also King of the Infinite Realms: Okay Mr. Batman.

Put That Thing Back Where it Came From or So Help Me-

Constantine was pacing back and forth in the waiting room, hands flying as he went over the rules of dealing with Infinite Realm Nobility for the eighteenth time.

Bruce tried to pay attention, really. But he'd already memorized this speech of the Laughing Magicians, and all there was really left to do was wait for their turn to meet the High King.

A flash of movement caught Bruce's attention, and he found his eyes drawn to a completely human teenager meandering his way from one of the side doors and towards the refrigerator stocked with "mortal friendly snacks".

Bruce kept quiet as he heard the teen muttering to himself about "aw yeah fuck yeah fiji water fuck yes", and let Constantine drone on and on about how they were probably the first mortals the King had ever met.

The teenager behind the ranting man stocked his arms full of Fiji water, chips, and cosmic brownies.

Then the Teen turned and realized Bruce was watching him.

Bruce shook his head minutely.

The teen slowly turned back to the fridge and put everything but the Fiji water back. That and the cosmic brownie.

Cautious blue eyes met his, and the kid raised an eyebrow.

Bruce scowled.

The brownie was quickly replaced with a banana.

Bruce gave a slight nod and looked away.

The teen darted back through the side door.

He didn't know who the kid was, but eating healthy was important. And, okay, maybe his own experience with kids had shoved its way to the front of his brain and taken over.

At least the random teenager in the Land of the Dead would have a healthy snack.

Two more minutes passed before the small entourage was allowed into the antechamber.

A glowing, floating boy was hovering just above the throne. White hair, glowing green eyes, a crown that looked like it was made of shattered pieces of space glittering above his head-and a poorly hidden half empty bottle of Fiji water peeking out at them from behind the throne, kept company by a single banana.

...Huh.

He had either told the Kings servant what to feed the King, or...

"Welcome to the Infinite Realms, I am Phantom, High King. For what reason do you seek an audience?"

Oh. Nope, nevermind on the servant theory. That was the kids voice.

Bruce had directly told the King of an entire dimension what he could and could not eat.

he thinks he's being so smooth with his little face on my leg. i SEE you, villain

"What were you even thinking, Jack?!"

"I'm not-"

"Not thinking? Damn right you ain't, mate. The Space In-Between is dangerous,"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"No buts unless you want back on the naughty list!"

"Wait, are you actually-"

"Hey guys! Who's this?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Oh Man in the Moon, we kidnapped a child,"

DPxROTG

Danny finds himself kidnapped from the Ghostzone by what can only be described as Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy and The Sandman???

Why do they keep calling him Jack?

Killed it dead, no regrets.

When you have too long of a conversation in the comments on ao3 it starts to look like this on mobile. We broke it lmao

@lirabuswavi

Writers, it's okay:

to be proud of your own writing

to write something self-indulgent

to celebrate your achievements

to have a bad day of writing

to hype up your own writing

to be kind to your characters once in a while. ok? it's ok