Like-luke-likes - Like-Luke-Likes

me

DAD JOKE

So a guy requested someone start beef with him because he was feeling left out, so I made this.

This has got the be one of the funniest things on the internet

How are my thighs still gonna be sore, like... I need you to walk... I trusted you... I use you all the time to move, why can’t I use you to exercise... I don’t even think I can walk up the stairs to go my room.

It’s 1 am and I have a cold and I just found out that Tinky Winky is 10 feet tall and I don’t know what to do

I’m drunk at Waffle House and all I ordered was toast and when the waitress said “all you want is toast?” I responded “I’m always a slut for carbs” which in itself is mortifying for me to have said audibly YET my friend decides to run her mouth and say “those last two words were unnecessary” and now all this Waffle House knows I’m a lady of the night.