Right To Work

*gets pinned to the ground by a 10 ton boulder during a cave in* he-hewwo??? *cavern starts slowly filling with water* HEWWO??? HEWWO?????!

My parents have been married thirty six years and my dad had to work a few hours early this morning (he refs hs football for extra cash), while he was gone my mom went to Dunkin Donuts to get breakfast and bought him his favorite muffin to surprise him when he came home and when he did it was with her favorite muffin from Dunkin Donuts and you know what I’m so not interested in all the cynical bs about love and marriage being fake like if that’s not some romantic shit right there idk what is.

i think i forgot how to be myself

Yak of the Year

(To the tune of Our House) corn dog. In the middle there’s some meat

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtg4o__aRMg)