Guy Wanted Me To Make Him A Queen-size Blanket.

New Year’s Eve 2017 will be the only day when every adult was born in the 1900’s, and every minor was born in the 2000’s.

Problems are practical, not biological. You didn’t fail that test because you’re a failure; you failed it because you got more wrong answers than right answers. The solution is not to accept your predisposition to failure, but to solve the dollars and cents behind why you didn’t succeed.

JUST FINISHED MY FIRST SEMESTER!!!!

“you look tired, are you???“  “no, im just ugly”

omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now

Remember This: It’s Never Too Late To Apologize

Person: “Why are you wearing sweatpants?”

Me: