This Is The Best Thing I’ve Ever Seen On Twitter

This father consoling his baby son at the doctor’s office is SO CUTE 😍😍😍

I wonder what it’s like to have such a big fucking ego lmao... so sure of your generic derivative film photography skill that u constantly spam it on every platform under the sun lmao fuck Instagram “photographers”

omg my first photography hater! a milestone for a beginner like me. I’m sorry sharing photos on a photo sharing platform seems to make you so upset. I’m sure all of your prints hidden away from the crude reaches of the internet are much more intellectually lofty - highbrow even!

Do not touch your body with bad intentions. Rub your belly when it is full. Stroke your soft skin. Hug yourself, even if it’s silly, because it feels nice. Pleasure yourself. Do not touch your body with bad intentions. Do not pinch at the fat on your stomach. Do not scratch at your skin. Do not hate the shell you’re encased in.

can you imagine a dragon with a pug jawline

Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.

the DELIVERY

Necromancer: Did you know that dinosaur skeletons in museums are usually fake casts?

Someone: Did the Internet tell you that?

Necromancer: Nope, just a series of disappointing museum trips.

Oh, Ann.

im extremely nosy but i dont have loose lips and thats the best combination tbh im not here to spread rumors or hurt anyone im only in it for the knowledge of everyone’s business i wont tell anybody but i NEED to possess ALL of the secrets