SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GUNNA ROLL ME And I Really Wish I Listened Cuz Fucc

Just had a brief twitter exchange with CNN’s Senior White House Correspondent, Jim Acosta. I appear to be feeling feisty today.

The breadsticks meme must die

Dear college bound friends,

Please do not start your essay with “Music has always been a big part of my life.” I get it. It’s the start of every. single, fricken, essay. And I know I probably made the same mistakes when I was writing mine. 

Love, 

A College Admissions Counselor

STOP SCROLLING

straighten your back, mate

NOW GO ON

I remember once I was talking to two guys and one of them was complaining about his parents when the second chimed in. “Try having four parents!”

We automatically assumed that he had divorced parents that got remarried. He corrected us; “No, there is a plot twist. My mom and dad never got married but had me. They were going to get married, but then my dad suddenly confessed he was gay. My mom was so relieved and said that she discovered she was a lesbian and was afraid to tell him. So they stayed together in the same house for me. Then eventually both got partners. So my dad has his husband and my mom has her wife.”

And the third kid just looks down at the ground for a really long time before whispering, “That’s gay. “ 

insanity

Mah…. help me… anywone… i can’t see… i need my bankie…..*tears well up in Sippy’s blank eyes.*