I’m Just…going To Leave These Here

2nd century BC Pictish/Caledonian Louis CK: kids today don't even know that we didn't always have bronze dirks. i hear kids whining about their bronze dirks not holding an edge. [bellowing] you want to drive a fucking flint dirk into the throat of your enemy? [baby voice] oh my bronze dirk got a dent in it. it's slightly less sharp now [bellowing] really? how would you like it when your dirk flakes into a thousand tiny flint shards upon striking the shield of your enemy? you little piece of shit? [baby voice] *random mewling noises* [bellowing again] fuck you! your parents didn't raise you correctly. [philosophical, exasperated] everything is amazing, and nobody's happy

Best opening scene 

Me in 2015: Lmao Donald Trump is running for president what a joke

Me on election day:

Next time a conspiracy theorist tries to tell you ‘what really happened’, present a more outlandish theory and accuse them of covering up the truth.

she livin in 2025 while we livin in 2018

From the commercial for Super Mario Advance 3.

this whole scene deserves to be played out in full