This Is Stomp Dog It Shows Up To Stomp Away Sadness

god I dont wanna fuckin go on dates or try to sell myself or expose myself to an unending list of potential heartbreaks i just wanna skip to the part where someone is holding me and i am cozy. fuck this bro

there is no difference between coke, pepsi, doctored pepper, sprites, ginger’s ale, root’s beered, mountain do, all of them. theyre all exactly the same.

he’s not valid

i remember in second grade i got a new purple sharpener and this girl who i was “friends” with asked me to have it and I was like ???? no my mom just bought this for me yesterday and she said “if you dont give me the sharpener we’re not friends anymore” and i just said “okay” and she was like “So you’re giving me the sharpener??” and i was like “why are you talking to me? we’re not friends” and i wish i was still as savage as i was back then

how dare u ignore me after ive made 0 attempts at talking to u

today some guy very confidently ordered a “Busted Nut Parfait” on drive thru without hesitation and i had to ask if he meant a peanut buster parfait without crying

this “me, an intellectual” meme is the funniest thing

When my alarm goes off in the morning