The Craziest Of Crazies Aka That One Time Jean-Ralphio Saperstein Traveled Back In Time To The 80s &

Kmart deserves commercial of the year

Anyway, do you guys want to see my Cool Rocks?

This is my grandfather’s rock.  It is Probably a Garnet, which he mined out himself when he was in college studying to be a geologist.

Though you may assume this is a Small Rock, it is in fact a very Large Rock, and also a very Heavy Rock, but most especially a very Square Rock, which is what makes it particularly cool.

Here we have a rock which used to be a tree.  This rock is petrified wood!  It was one of my very first Cool Rocks!

Speaking of rocks that used to be things that were not rocks, this rock is Petoskey stone!  This rock used to be a coral.  Let’s get a good look at those patterns.

Now that’s a Cool Rock!

Amethyst?  It’s an Okay Rock.  If you are looking for an inexpensive rock to start your collection, amethyst is the way to go.  It’s a quartz with a deep purple color.  A very nice, if average, rock.

Now citrine… Citrine is a Cool Rock!  It’s a smoky quartz with a lovely honey color.  The druzy on my chunk of citrine has a wonderful sparkle.

This is my Amazonite!  It grew that hexagon shape all by itself!!  This specimen is from Colorado.

Look at this shiny little slice of rock!  This rock is Tiger Iron, and those bands of red and orange glow beautifully with some light behind them.  These different colored bands are made from Hematite (the dark silver), Jasper (the red-orange), and Tiger-Eye quartz (the yellow-orange).

Here’s a rock you’ve probably seen before!  This Cool Rock is Malachite.  The patterns and rings are from the stalagmites this little egg was carved from.

Whoa, look at this giant slab of Extremely Cool Rock!!!  These crystals formed in the cracks of fossilized mud, to make the awesome patterns in this geode of Septarian!  This is my second best rock.

This is my Best and most Favorite Cool Rock.  In this dark room it’s a dull little grey rock, but if I move it closer to the light…

Those glints of gold!  Those veins of blue!  This rock is most certainly Labradorite, which changes color spectacularly when the light hits it just right.  Let’s put it in direct sunlight.

Yes!!  YES!!  There it is!!  The Best and Coolest Rock!!!!!

if she didn’t explore neopia with these, she’s too young for you.

i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom

Me eating at someone elses house: I ate three chips already I dont think I need anymore food for the rest of my life

Me eating when Im at home:

Dear college bound friends,

Please do not start your essay with “Music has always been a big part of my life.” I get it. It’s the start of every. single, fricken, essay. And I know I probably made the same mistakes when I was writing mine. 

Love, 

A College Admissions Counselor

mom: what time did you go to bed last night?

me: that information is confidential

she can extrapolate from incomplete data