An Actual Text I Was Sent

getting a lecture from your parents like

The rare book library at Yale University has no windows..because the walls are made of translucent marble.

Source

robber: *breaks into my house* me: can I help you find anyth- robber: just looking

freakishly relatable

That relatable moment when you’re trying to watch a movie with your friends, but your older brother can’t find his 1 knitting needle so he keeps shaking the couch and it’s really distracting.

Wait for it…

unmUTE THIS

oohhhh oh HO

The greatest confidence is that of the henchman y’know. You ever notice in action movies and the hero will have taken down like 50 guys and more still keep coming? Can you imagine being that henchman? “I’m the storm trooper that’s gona land a shot”,” I’m gonna be the one to knock out Bruce Lee”, “I’m the soldier that’s gona kill Xena.” says the henchmen.Yall need henchman confidence.

I present to you John Green on his wedding day.