Artist And Photographer Emily Blincoe Creates Meticulously Arranged Collections Of Objects For Her Work.

Me all the time VS me very rarely

people who know the next letter of the alphabet without singing the song are terrifying

“all that matters is that u tried ur best”

me: *instantly flashes back to every moment i procrastinated and wasted*

me: ha hah haahah…… ….. yeah…….. my best……. that is the thing i totally did

Cow and Baby by Julia TortoiseHugger on Flickr.

If I was ever slated to meet Donald Trump, I’d stuff my pockets with those little hand sanitizer bottles. Every time he’d shake my hand, I’d immediately take one out and squirt the whole bottle. Make a whole spectacle of it, sanitizing my entire right arm. But only after shaking his hand; I’d also be sure to shake the hands of as many other people as possible, but never even think about hand sanitizer until SCROTUS is reaching towards me. Hell, maybe as we’re going in for the shake I’d already have my left hand in my pocket, very dramatically digging for a hand sanitizer so I could be cleaned the moment our hands part. Can you imagine the fucking headlines? The drama? I’d be the target of Turnip’s angry tweets for months. His lapdogs nazis voters would be outraged, screaming obsenities for DARING to attempt voodoo on their god bc they don’t understand cleanliness or germ theory. It would be awesome. I’d be an international hero for washing my hands.

fbi man watching me delete a post he thought was funny but i decided wasn’t worth posting:

Gf: babe come over

Me: I'm eating garlic bread

Gf: I'm horny and my parents aren't home

Me: it's the kind that's covered in cheese