The Amount Of Time That Must Have Went Into This Is Beautiful

I keep seeing this meme going around.  I’m sure you’ve seen it, too.  For example:

This is just further justifying creepy male behavior, right?  Am I wrong?  I’ve seen a whole bunch of them over the past week, and I generally only follow very liberal, feminist leaning blogs, and yet, here are jokes where the only thing that has agency is the man, and the two women he’s with are turned into objects, robbed of their humanity, and silenced, it’s gross.  Not only are the women seen as purely pleasure/sexual objects for the… I don’t know, protagonist seems like the wrong word, but…  They are also pitted against one another, as rivals for the all important central idea’s attention/affection.  I can’t help but be disgusted by it.  Can we stop?  

me: hoe don't do it

me: [stays up late]

me the next morning: oh my god

so i see some people talk about veggietales sometimes and typically its with nostalgia

but i think some people dont realize that they predicted the existence of shitpostgenerator 12 years ahead of its time

look

yea true shit larry said that

ITS THE SAME STYLE OF BULLSHIT HUMOR

fucking praise veggietales its the fucking nostradamus of its age

heres the vid if you think im making this up

unmute this

extremely blessed image

#GrowingUpUgly When guys in middle school would get dared by their friends to ask you out and see if you say yes as a joke

Angry customer: “Well maybe I’ll just take my business somewhere else!”

Me:  

john mulaney and pancakes

ok SO john mulaney has a new live show on the netflicks (the comeback kid) and i was lucky enough to see him do this act live in milwaukee this summer!!! but the recorded show is missing something special

so summer in milwaukee is known for being like. comically humid. disgustingly, oppressively humid. ‘can’t tell the difference between being downtown and being literally submerged in lake michigan’ humid

and poor john mulaney was wearing a nice-looking but also very warm suit. so once about every 10-20 minutes he would pause whatever spiel he was on, wipe his forehead, flutter his jacket about, regret his fashion choices and ask what was wrong with us that we don’t properly air condition our venues

about halfway through the show, a woman in one of the front rows stood up and started to walk out so in classic mulaney fashion he razzed her that she couldn’t take the heat either and asked her to bring him a pepsi - she didn’t break stride (i would try to play it cool too if over a thousand people were suddenly watching me get razzed by mulaney)

as soon as she was out of the theatre, he turned his mic off and started yelling to those of us who were still in there

“okay guys, we’re going to play a little prank on her! can everyone hear me? WE’RE GOING TO PLAY A PRANK! at some point later in the show i’m going to say ‘you know what they say in milwaukee!!’ and you’re all going to wave your arm around like this’ - he jauntily waved his arm with his first finger outstretched, like an 80 year old man doing the charleston - ‘and you will all shout ‘gimme some PANcakes!!!’’

we did a few rehearsals of this until he was satisfied, and he turned his mic back on and continued with his act

a few minutes later the woman walked back through the theatre but passed her row, walked all the way up to the stage, and set a can of pepsi at mulaney’s feet. he stopped, mouth agape for a moment and touched his chest. ‘is this really for me?’ he asked. ‘did i ask you for pepsi? i have no idea why i would do that, i hate pepsi.’ he thanked her sincerely several times, and when she turned his back to him to return to her seat, he made frantic ‘kill’ motions across his throat to signal to us that the prank was off

he continued to lament the heat for the rest of his act, eventually lost the jacket and drank the gifted pepsi, grimacing cartoonishly every time. at the very end of the night he thanked us for being a great audience, thanked the woman in particular for her kindness, and triumphantly said ‘BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY IN MILWAUKEE!!!’ and 1 very generous women was hopelessly confused when 1299 people shouted ‘GIMME SOME PANCAKES!!!!!’

I built a nap hole in my closet which is great and has no downside until someone comes into my room looking for me and I have to crawl out of my closet which is frankly impossible to do with dignity and without looking like a sleepy Gollum hissing “what does it wants who wakes us up”