The Biggest Lie I Ever Told & How My Husband Came To Protect It

the biggest lie i ever told & how my husband came to protect it

for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and it makes me gag and makes my throat feel gross after eating it and so i don’t really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don’t like peanut butter they’d get all defensive like “peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!” and then i’d have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds.

but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i’m just allergic to peanuts because that way it’s not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter - it’s now like i’m a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me.

but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i’m at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn’t eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret. 

and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, “i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes.”

and if that isn’t love then i don’t know what is. 

More Posts from Lazzy-black-cat and Others

1 year ago

Danny got caught up in a huge knock down drag out fight with a bunch of aliens with weird magic, fighting alongside the Justice League and Justice League Dark.

He took a hit to the chest, and woke up at the end of the fight very small, and in his human form. Standing up makes his shirt look like a dress, and he knows he can't go ghost.

So he picks his way through the wreckage, and runs straight into the legs of someone.

Danny, internally freaking out, lets out the weakest Ghostly Wail he's ever let loose, knocking the person back only a foot.

Black Canary stares down at him, mystified and very amused.

"That was adorable," she says, covering her mouth to hide her smile.

Or; Danny gets deaged, Black Canary finds him, assumes he's a kid meta with powers like hers, and gets attached.

9 months ago

A list of things I've done that pissed my mother off, but as Batfam + Team Phantom edition

Bruce: got into a verbal fight and held a year-long grudge at my teacher for not giving me a fair grade at an annual competition, and proceeded to go out of my way to win said competition next year

Alfred: refused to eat her food, got told to cook for myself and did so, ending up with both my dad and sister saying my banana bread was the best thing they've eaten

Dick: swung on the bungee rope over the dry riverbed turned into junk yard, fell, miraculously did not die, went to that same bungee rope the next day

Babs: organized a stake out, found out which neighbor had been messing with trash bins when everyone blamed raccoons, called said neighbor a raccoon for the next three weeks

Jason: kept reading books at night with a flashlight, when said flashlight was taken away, lit a candle and accidentally almost set the house on fire

Tim: fled to a different country across the globe without telling anyone except my sister, who's been 7 at the time, and did not respond to any calls or messages for three months

Steph: picked a dress with glitter for a dinner with her relatives after specifically being told not to, was forced to change, but took my revenge by exploding a glitter bomb in the car when we have already arrived at the relatives' house

Cass: responded with 'sorry I didn't quite catch that could you repeat' to her very long rant, over text

Damian: successfully clawed and gnawed at a classmate's face after they destroyed my painting

Duke: was the leader of school rebellion over the 'no wigs allowed in school' rule in sixth grade, managed to convince two teachers to join, ended up with the rule taken down

Danny: accidentally shocked myself with a tazer I stole from her handbag, cried, when she came to ask what happened, showed her by repeating the accidental electrocution

Dan: pushed my maternal aunt into the pool and watched her flounder, knowing very well she is a bad swimmer, when confronted about it later argued it was the kiddie part of the pool and she could not have drowned

Jazz: told her I was in love with a girl she disliked, when she voiced her opinion on it, made a whole argument about how I'm supposed to learn from my own mistakes and not from her experiences

Dani: zoned out while she was yelling at me, came back to her saying 'you're no better than a pig', impulsively told her 'it's because of genetics' and started oinking

Sam: painted my nails and toes on my left hand and left foot black, dyed my hair purple, but only on the left side, as well as got a piercing on the left eyebrow, while the whole right side was left 'natural'

Tucker: learned to change the wi-fi password and held power over the internet every time she took my electronics away by asking a friend that lived nearby to come by my house and using their phone to change the password

Bonus:

Selina: repeatedly stolen antique jewelry from grandma because she, in turn, stole it from my other grandma

Valerie: turned rogue, teamed up with the opponent team in lasertag and helped them win over my own teammates

Talia: threatened a person I will carve their eyeballs out with a spoon if they ever as much as look at my sister funny again, a month later gave them a decorated silver teaspoon as a birthday gift

Jack Fenton: failed my driving license test seven times, three of which were on purpose

Maddie: ruined her plans of my picture-perfect marriage by friendzoning a son of her friend, claiming I'm saving my love only for the important things like mozzarella

Vlad: scared my sister shitless by telling her a scary story about ghosts under her bed and then hiding under her bed and making 'boo' noizes

Clockwork: purposefully made her experience deja vu by wearing the exact same clothes and greeting her the exact same way in the exact same place for three days in a row


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7 months ago

Apparently there IS a reason why the Drakes are known as Drakes.

Of which Jack and Janet, rich archeologists, dug up the bones of Jack's ancestors, people who were said to wear amulets and turn into dragons when angered.

Or:

Tim Drake is related to Princess Dorathea.


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1 year ago

GIW finds out, but Tucker and Sam run with Danny too. He's pretty sure there's no place on Earth they can hide that the GIW won't hunt them down eventually. Unless...

He takes them somewhere the GIW can never go. He doesn't want to leave Earth, and he won't, because there might be another option.

Liminal Abilities are meant to adapt with the user. They're meant to guarantee survival.

Danny's adapted so much he became only half human. His ghost form can very easily adapt to pretty much anything, so his insane plan isn't so far fetched for him.

He, Sam, and Tucker steal a boat. It's technically a yacht, and it's technically Sam's parents, but they got rid of the GPS tracker and drove it out to sea until it ran out of gas.

He has Sam and Tucker ingest straight ectoplasm, and then hang out in the water for a few hours.

He's trying to trigger their liminality to make them akin to Atlanteans; able to breathe and thrive underwater, but still able to go to land if the need arose.

They develop mer tails instead.

Whoops.


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2 months ago
Like The Exhale Of A Lover, Right Up Against Your Ear In The Morning Dawn. Like Letting Go. Like Allowing
Like The Exhale Of A Lover, Right Up Against Your Ear In The Morning Dawn. Like Letting Go. Like Allowing

Like the exhale of a lover, right up against your ear in the morning dawn. Like letting go. Like allowing your fingers to slip from the cliff’s edge, after eons of holding on. Of refusing to dive in. —tiwlll, ch4

thank you to @hiuythn for doing what vld could not: giving lance meaningful character development


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9 months ago
He Likes The Bows (og Prompt By @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 +reblogs Here)

he likes the bows (og prompt by @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 +reblogs here)


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4 months ago

KLANCE FIC RECS FOR THE NEW YEARS RECAP PART TWO

Ghost of the Future & Shadow of the Past by wittyy_name/@wittyy-name, Zizzani/@zizzani | 300k+ | Time-travel | Dual fic

These fics were genuinely so. What the fuck. Oh my god. I came into it not expecting too much and I came out of it like ahjhsihfs. I’m so so upset that it isn’t finished, that too right before the last chapter. There are so, so many good aspects to this fic. First off: the plot and its delivery. The idea of switching places with a past version of yourself is not an uncommon plotline. However, having the story be split into two stories following both the past and the present with each chapter parallelling each other was flawlessly executed. I would read one chapter where they would do xyz which affected the past, and then be so excited to see what happens next, and then be even more excited that I could simply read how it happened in the past. It felt like I was time itself, reading through parts of these characters' lives non-linearly. The KL chemistry is beautiful, the plot is beautiful, I sincerely love it.

it’s five o’clock somewhere by soulreapin/@soulreapin | 8.1k | Bartending AU | First Date

This fic was so so soft and funny. There were parts of the fic where I was so floored by the comedic writing that I was like damn why didn't I write this? Also, their first date is just so cute!

Run into the Bright Lights by peanutbutterapple/ https://hugoweasley.tumblr.com/ | 36.8k | April Fools Day | Canon Compliant

I've never seen an april fools day fic before and omg I wish there were more. The miscommunication between KL is so genuine and not a product of stupid actions. There's beautiful hurt/comfort. I've reread this two billion times.

AITA by perfchan/@jacqulinetan | 34k | Post-War

This fic is so so funny and just. It sums up the whole let down of returning back to civilian life after war very well and the way Lance shuts people out. So so good.

to breathe in this mirage by existwound/@existwound | 34k+ | Time-travel | Domestic KL

This fic is so good!?!? Astra writes KL fighting so well and it leads up to beautiful ANGST which leads to beautiful hurt/comfort. This fic is not finished but I love it so so so much.

Spider-Man Klance AU by iwriteshipsnotsailthem | 102.6k | Spider-man!Keith

This author captures the essence of spiderman in a fic so much. Many other spider-man aus will focus more on ships than the spiderman aspect, but this author balances it so well. There's a perfect blend of action and romance.

finally, you're mine by nezueye/@nezueye | 7.2k | Friends to Lovers | Modern AU

This has to be hands down one of the best fluff fics ever. Every scene with KL, which was all of them, was so satisfying and cute. I loved it so much I reread this all the time.

Even the People in Your Dreams Will Lie to You by popering/@roylustang | 314k+ | torture | angst

This fic is INSANE!!! Literally!! There's so much thought and detail that goes into the worldbuilding of the fic despite the world literally being canon VLD! This is a fic where every detail counts, and where you yourself might doubt your hindsight and knowledge too. I feel so bad for everyone in this story, and I eagerly await the last chapter (author take ur time w it tho plz)

my my, how can i resist you? by nikkiRA | 1.7k | Est Relationship | Watching Mamma Mia

This is a follow up to a fic where KL get together, but this snippet just has my heart. It's so beautiful to see the way Keith loves Lance.

what makes you beautiful by seventies | 4.5k | MMA!Keith x Nurse!Lance

The funniest fi in the world. I wish I knew the author IRL so I could laugh at their jokes everyday. They're so funny. This fic is so so funny.

I love you more than fried chicken by AsterikaMay/@catsushinyakajima | 9.1k words | Asexual!Lance

This is one of my fics...I included it cuz I'm ace and I LOVE ace fics LMAO

part one here


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9 months ago
✨🔀🔥

✨🔀🔥

Inspired by the new Lucy figure and also an old picture I found on Pinterest

I'm pretty sure the source was Tumblr but I can't find it sadly.

✨🔀🔥

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11 months ago
I Didnt Do Anything For Tim's Birthday But I Wanted To At Least Touch This One Up A Bit

I didnt do anything for tim's birthday but I wanted to at least touch this one up a bit


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9 months ago

Prompt 113

“I seem to have been taken hostage.” Batman’s words almost had Superman panic if not for the wry tone, a tone which the others didn’t know if their freaking out was to go by. Clark sighed through the comms, tired after battle and honestly wanting to go to bed now.

“I’ll be right over, what child has latched onto you now?” He asked while switching to a more private channel. 

“I can already hear you making fun of me…” Wha- Oh. Clark bit his lip to keep himself from laughing as he took to the air. “They appear to be a pair of twins with…” 

“You gotta’ say it Bruce, you gotta’,” Clark couldn’t stop the chuckle when he saw his friend on the top of a building, cape curled around his form in a way usually reserved for the robins. 

“... with dark hair… and blue eyes…” That was it. Clark absolutely lost it in laughter. 


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