OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED 

incel

every time i see a picture of edd i think of breaking my laptop in 2 literally why is he so cute i need to claw my eyes out

toms a pain in the ass tbh

can u guys stop tagging pro 4na shit with bing eddsworld ii keep seeing ur shit while trying to look at bing eddsworld

it's that time again

here's how to make alcohol at home

recipe under the cut. it's long. I warned you.

FOREWARD:

I do not endorse regular substance abuse or at-home distillation without proper training. Don’t hit your kids. Don’t blow up your house. It’s okay to eat shit and die, like, once every three months, not every two weeks, not every weekend. If you’re doing that, there’s not much I can do to help or give in way of advice. But this recipe is not for you. And you should reconsider some stuff if you haven’t already.

That being said.

The following is my personal method for brewing beer, mead, wine, etc. I have utilized this method many times and it has worked wonderfully. I have achieved up to 15% proof. This means that the substance you create should be perfectly drinkable and safe if you follow the instructions and use your head. HOWEVER. You should be prepared to read this whole document before making anything. There are warnings and safety precautions you need to take, and I don’t want anyone to get botulism of some shit because of a shoddy recipe that doesn’t explain absolutely everything.

I also do not encourage the practice of distillation at home. This is not because it is illegal. For those unaware, distillation is the semi-complicated process of heating alcohol to produce hard liquors. While it may sound fun to make Smirnoff from home, there is a reason we do not. Alcohol is extremely flammable. You will set yourself or your valuables on fire.

Ingredients:

1 Packet ActiveDry Yeast

1 Cup Sugar or 1 Cup Sugar Equivalent*

⅔ Gallon Water

Supplies:

1 Gallon Container

1 Suitable Cork or Lid**

3-4 Ballons, Latex Gloves, or even condoms will do honestly***

IMPORTANT:

You must have a space prepared ahead of time to store the JFCB while it brews. Remember. It will stink like hell. Anyone who smells it will know it’s alcohol. Use your noggin okay

NOTES:

*

In simple terms, alcohol is created when yeast eats sugar. You can use pretty much anything sugary. Don’t use chocolate unless you want to die.

I like to use those strawberry-flavored grandma hard candies. The stuff they make is super fucking strong and tastes like god himself descended from the heavens to kick your ass. It makes what I like to call the JFCB. It’s high-proof enough to burn your throat. So, you know, try to moderate.

**

You need something to seal the container with once you’re done. Pick wisely.

***

It’s gotta be something that can form a seal around the lip of the container, but also expand like a balloon. These are some of the things I’ve found work best.

INSTRUCTIONS:

Creating the Base

Take your 1-Gallon Container and fill it with half the packet of ActiveDry yeast. You don’t need all of it. Trust me on this one.

Pour in your 1 Cup Sugar or Equivalent.

Pour in the ⅔ Gallon of Water.

Either whisk or mix vigorously. When it starts foaming, you’re done.

Stage 1

Put the Balloon/Latex/Condom over the lip of the container. Make sure it’s secure and extremely tight, but there’s plenty of room for air to fill.

Find your designated Place to Put It. This should be somewhere nobody’s gonna smell it, and also somewhere nobody’s gonna go for the next three odd months.

Set your shit down.

Wait 2-3 weeks.

Stage 2

After 2-3 weeks, the alcohol should stop emitting gas. At this point, it’s safe to cork. Don’t do it beforehand or the container will explode.

I like to put some hot glue or wax over the lip just to make sure it’s sealed extra well. I sometimes put tinfoil too. It doesn’t actually help anything, just looks fancy.

Find somewhere nice to store it. Make sure it’s right side up. Odds are you sealed it pretty poorly if it’s your first time, and you’re gonna be in deep shit if it starts to smell.

If it does, that means you corked it too early. Move it back to your Place to Put It for like a month. Recork it after that time’s up. It might be difficult, but you’re smart. You can do it. It should be good to go after that.

And there you have it. A nice bottle of…. Something?

Enjoy. Or just leave it to sit.

FAQ:

Q: I’m worried about getting botulism from this shit. Is it really safe?

A: Usually, people don’t get botulism. My rule of thumb is that if it smells like shit you should really just throw it away. If you’re really worried, I’d also recommend throwing it away. The paranoia’s not worth it.

Q: I’m a minor. Should I try this at home?

A: Probably not. I’m a minor too, so fuck’s to say what my opinion’s worth.

Q: I want to try vodka/scotch/whiskey. What should I do?

A: You should just not. Or buy it at the store. I don’t know man i’m not the all-seeing eye

Q: I’ve heard you need an airlock for this. Do you need an airlock for this?

A: Absolutely fucking not. They are feeding you airlock propaganda. You don’t need an airlock.

well needed sleep

I think I’m going to think about this youtube comment forever

X men evolution: *has Kurt kiss Bobby on accident, turn into a girl, repeatedly get put into girls cloathing, etc etc etc*

Me: this is a 2000s show he's not actually queer if anything they are probs just making gay jokes

X men evolution interview: yeah we wanted to make Kurt gay but the execs wouldn't let us so we named his girlfriend Amanda cause he'd date "a MAN duh!"

Me:.....OH NVM he is queer! Lovely!!!!

AT au where instead of Betty, it's actually FINN who sacrifices himself and makes the wish with the crown.

I've seen some au's about Simon doing this, but we're forgetting the secret third option I guess?

now obviously, the loss of Finn will have an impact on most, if not all of the citizens of Ooo. but I'd like to think that Finn's intention is to make this wish, not just for the safety of one person, but to keep all of Ooo safe and free from any more chaos. I've seen some shows where the hero "dies" on the end (though in this case, there'd be the idea that he IS still conscious and able to watch over everyone), and honestly it can be a great ending if played right.

here's how it would go down: Finn, Simon, and Betty are being digested by Golb. they're at the point where Betty and Simon have both returned to their sane, pre-Mushroom War selves and are having their reunion. Finn notices that the crown has reset, and also taking notice that he's not being "digested" because he hasn't changed all that much. he realizes that he has the chance to make a wish, make a true difference in Ooo and ensure the peace and safety of all his friends, something that he's clearly wanted through the whole series. he sees how happy Betty and Simon are now that they're reunited, and begins to put on the crown. when the tunnel opens up, he tells Betty and Simon to leave. he gives them some brief things to tell his friends and family on his behalf. he also tells them to finally get married, and to go on with their lives together. (I'd like to think he also, in Finn fashion, jokingly tells them to name their first kid after him :) )

after some coaxing, and tears, they finally give in and leave Golb. Finn makes his wish, which is "I wish for the power to keep Ooo safe", and merges with Golb in the same style Betry did (idk what he'd be called- maybe "Golbfinn"? a silly name kinda like goldfish lol). Jake would be torn, but I feel like he would also be a bit proud of Finn after a bit of grieving. as Finn said in the episode before (in canon), he used to be all about violence. and now, he's keeping the peace.

Gunther still gets the crown in this universe bc that's just funny

in the little Come Along With Me montage, we'd see the other characters rebuilding the tree house, along with the rest of Ooo that had gotten destroyed. I think they would start to worship Finn actually, he would become the hero that everyone would tell stories about, the stuff of legends. we'd also get to see the Petrigrof wedding! it also flashes forward to about a year or so later, we see that they do, in fact have a kid. a little girl named Fionna, who grows into her namesake and becomes hero- material herself.

:)