How People Treat Sexual Orientation, As Explained With Furniture.

How people treat sexual orientation, as explained with furniture.

Heterosexuality is a couch. Nobody even bats an eye if you keep it in the living room for everyone to see–it’s simply expected. I mean, where the hell else would you keep it? Hidden in a bedroom? No, that would be weird.

Homosexuality is a bed. Having a bed in a public room is considered weird and gross–you’re expected to keep it in private bedroom you close the door to before anyone else comes over. Because even though there are a million and one things someone can do sitting on a bed that aren’t sexual (and plenty of ways to have sex on a couch), the first and foremost thing anyone associates beds with is sex.

Bisexuality is a Western-style futon. Sometimes it functions like a couch, sometimes it functions like a bed, but whichever position it’s in at the moment, it’s still a goddamn futon. People who want to use it as a couch give you shit for not having a real couch; people who want to use it as a bed give you shit for not having a real bed. It’s acceptable in your living room, but only if you make extra certain to put it in couch position and hide the sheets before company comes over. Otherwise, you’d better hide it in a guest room.

Asexuality is a table. No matter how many times you tell people it’s not meant to be sat on, dickheads with no manners will try to park their nasty asses on it anyway.

More Posts from Kristhepineappleking-blog and Others

REBLOG IF YOU THINK PANSEXUALITY, DEMISEXUALITY, ASEXUALITY, MONOSEXUALITY AND POLYSEXUALITY EXIST

Fictional character: I don't care about sex

Me, an asexual individual: Ohh, that's something i can relate to. Finally! Yay!

Fictional character: I don't care about romance either.

Me: That's cool! It will be very enjoyable to watch you have a meaningful life and be a complex, unique person who simply happens not to feel sexual or romantic attraction.

Fictional character: In fact, i don't care about other humans at all. I don't have friends or family. I'm a very lonely person. Other people call me a freak.

Me: ... Fine, i guess

Fictional character: All my social interactions are very child-like, cold-hearted, superficial and meaningless. The sole reason for this is my lack of romance and sex. It makes me incapable of having a happy, normal relationship of any kind.

Me: What

Fictional character: But now i met That One Special Person.

Me: the fuck

Fictional character: That One Special Person changes everything. They heal my broken heart and make me capable of having feelings. Obviously i have been broken the whole time.

Me: ...

Me: Why did i even expect anything else, i should know better by now

i really want to make a ‘we didn’t start the fire’ rendition but with 2008-2015 like how sick would that be

When the new kid says they watch Markiplier and Jacksepticeye

Me: WE’RE GONNA BE GREAT FRIENDS!

(317) Trans Man 2p! America Means So Much To Me Tbh

(317) Trans man 2p! America means so much to me tbh

Suggested by: @rutilantvdiscarnate

Art source:(x)

I Always Approve Of Ladies Having A Chill Time With Dragons. Who Needs To Be A Damsel In Distress? Dragon

I always approve of ladies having a chill time with dragons. Who needs to be a damsel in distress? Dragon Resting Its Head On The Lap Of A Woman by R. Leinweber, 1912

So my roommate and I got these Rudolph Christmas coloring books a couple of weeks back. Since it’s finals week, I wanted to ease my mind into studying by coloring. First time opening the book and I saw this picture..

So My Roommate And I Got These Rudolph Christmas Coloring Books A Couple Of Weeks Back. Since It’s

And I thought to myself

So My Roommate And I Got These Rudolph Christmas Coloring Books A Couple Of Weeks Back. Since It’s

Oh my god do I try.

With Bowstring Taut And Bootstraps Tight, The Arrows Come And Claim The Fight! Now You Can Rep Your Aromantic
With Bowstring Taut And Bootstraps Tight, The Arrows Come And Claim The Fight! Now You Can Rep Your Aromantic
With Bowstring Taut And Bootstraps Tight, The Arrows Come And Claim The Fight! Now You Can Rep Your Aromantic

With bowstring taut and bootstraps tight, the arrows come and claim the fight! Now you can rep your aromantic pride and be nifty keen and hella green.

Grab these Aro Pride shirts at Look Human! (1|2|3)

We’ve got shirt color and style variation for daaaayyys, so take your time and have a look around.

With Bowstring Taut And Bootstraps Tight, The Arrows Come And Claim The Fight! Now You Can Rep Your Aromantic

Rock on, Green Rangers.

WHY DO

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SO LITTLE PEOPLE HAVE DEAN AND SEAMUS AS THEIR OTP? I MEAN SERIOUSLY THEY’RE NEVER APART EVER

Is it a coincidence that “ace” means both “asexual” and “totally cool” I think not

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KrisThePineappleKing

Hey, everyone! Good time of the day to wherever and whenever you are! This is the official KrisThePineappleKing tumblr page! Thanks for checking me out! =D

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