'It Seems Being Polite Was Not On The Agenda Today.'

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

well i’m nonbinary so i had to reblog

since the old version of this post was flagged for 'adult content'...

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a trans non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the trans enby spectrum!

There’s a certain idea that’s been on my mind for a while so here you go-

A very cursed Iliad AU

this is so similar to my experience as a trans guy and i have to agree. everyone seems to write the trans experience as the same all the time it’s exhausting, but i don’t want to be seen as ungrateful cause i still love reading about those trans experiences

Why is every version of trans!Reg I've seen the exact same

Like it's always the same exact thing of him coming out, cutting his hair, whacking on a binder, and then passing really easily and I feel like it only ever shows that one trans experience. Nobody talks about the transmascs who can't 'pass well' even when we try

Where's Reg keeping his hair mid-length bc he can't pull off any shorter haircuts and he'd rather look like a girl than a gremlin

Where's Reg spending half an hour on his trans tape and then looking at the result in the mirror and going 'well that's a B cup at best' because not every transmasc has a small bust

Constantly getting told his hands are so sweet and soft and having to go 'oh 😀 thanks'

Feeling good when he's done his eyeliner and lipstick but knowing he can't wear it in public and still have any chance at passing

Not being able to correct people when they misgender him bc he can't even blame them for getting it wrong and is absolutely terrified of their response

Wearing men's colognes and hoping for the best knowing it won't make a difference

Not even bothering to bind half of the time because it's so much hassle for hardly any effect

Not every trans masc has the same experience and I feel like people only ever write one version

Ok I love this, I’m hard of hearing myself and seeing this kind of representation in one of my favourite characters is amazing and you bet your arse I’m going to write this

Black Family Headcanons

I'm sick of everyone thinking the black brothers are perfect, they were the product of inbreeding. Of course, they had medical conditions, so here are my headcanons about it.

Sirius is hard of hearing

Most of his friends just thought that Sirius had a hard time paying attention

Remus eventually figured it out because Sirius didn't hear things that everyone else could when they were all paying utmost attention.

After Remus told McGonagall she gave Sirius books about spells that would work like hearing aids

Sirius was confused at that time because even he didn't know about his being hard of hearing.

Madame Pomfrey had to tell him that if someone's family (like his) is inbreeding that the child could have a lot of medical conditions

She told him that it could have been worse but Sirius immediately ran out of the room

He then came back with his younger brother, who was only 12 at the time, and requested that she check Regulus's ears

Sirius might not have liked Regulus but he still thought that his brother deserved to know if he had a medical condition

Regulus had perfect hearing, however, Regulus had Hemophilia

(For those of you who don't know, Hemophilia is a blood clotting disorder that makes you bleed a lot even from the tiniest cuts, many inbreed royals over the years have had it)

To Sirius this was a very bad thing, so for the rest of the year Sirius watched Regulus like a hawk

Anyway, it was fun to bring science into the equation.

I still celebrate valentines with my best friend, while we never do anything too big one of us always asks the other to be their valentines and it’s one of my favourite traditions that we have going on for 12 years now. Valentines is meant to be a holiday to celebrate love why does it have to be restricted to romantic love?

aro culture is kind of forgetting that valentine’s day is supposed to be for romantic love because you always figured it was for all love (mostly because school always had students hand out candies so it SEEMED like a celebration for loving your friends….)

this is one of those things where i swear, people are like "oho children, this is what this is!" and then a few years later are like "oho, you believed that? You silly child of course I was lying!"

Mermaids Tale

This is a pirate au that I've been meaning to get started for literal months and I just bashed this out last night and finished it at about 3am. I've got more planned for Wolfstar, Jegulus and Dorlene but don't hold me to that cause my motivation wavers more than the British Government. Any way enjoy this cute Marlily with some of Lily just admiring how beautiful Mary's eyes are and ofc Sirius simping for Remus doing the most mundane tasks.

The Marauder glided through the waves easily, the crew hadn’t seen land in nearly three weeks, and they were having to ration what food they had left. The sun was low in the sky casting an orange hue over the horizon which matched the red hair floating on the breeze from underneath a light blue bandana. The pirate stared out to sea watching the water ripple along the side of the ship and the sun dance across the surface. In the distance a pinprick of black on the horizon caught the pirates attention. Lifting the spyglass of the hook on her belt and saw that the dot of black was indeed an island. A small one but an island none the less.

“LAND-HO!” she yelled heartily down to the deck below.

“Fucking hell Evans! A bit more warning next time I was just dropping off.”

“That was your warning Potter now look alive ‘Captain’” the tone was mocking and no one else on the crew would dare, but James just smiled and chuckled warmly at her knowing that their was no disrespect meant by her tone that would be hiding under others. As if Eurus was on their side an eastern wind blew and filled the sails. Soon the anchor was lowered, and the crew stepped foot on land once more.

“Crickey I love the sea; oh, Poseidon do not mistake me!” One of the crew proclaimed loudly pointing out to the gentle waves lapping at the beach his long dark whipping slightly around his sunburnt cheeks “but by Gods, Gaia I have missed you so.” He said falling back on to the sand with a blissful look on his face.

“Enough fooling around Sirius up you get” James said while lightly kicking the soft underside of his thigh. “We’re sleeping under the stars tonight and we’ll find food and fresh water in the morning.” Casting a few glances over his crew James noticed a lack of red hair and teasing comments “Where’d Evan’s go?” a few murmurs carried through the crew until James turned to his quartermaster to his left “Lupin?” the soft caramel curls bounce lightly against the pirates forehead as he met the dark brown eyes of his captain.

“She walked of as soon as you started talking, through those trees, you know what she’s like.” He spoke so casually and turned back to winding the rope over his hand and under his elbow to keep knots out of it.

“yeah I do” James said with a slight sigh sweeping the dark brown hair out of his eyes. “crew help him set up shelters.” Sticking a thumb out roughly in Remus’ direction, but the Doctor hadn’t moved from his spot on the sand staring at something behind his Captain. “useless” James muttered to himself.

***

The sun was still setting below the horizon and created a wonderful, speckled pattern over the dirt as the light dripped through the leaves. Lily’s boots crunch old leaves and twigs beneath her feet as her fingers lightly brushed against the tree bark and ferns at her side. Freckles adorned over her knuckles and up under the sleeve of her shirt, berries were plucked by a swift hand used to thievery and popped into her waiting mouth. The sound of running water filled her ears and the ever curious the redhead followed the sound eagerly. The dagger from her hip easily sliced through the undergrowth and revealed a glistening waterfall with a small collection of ponds. The sun was dipping further and further out of sight leaving the young pirate in shadows, but she had enough vision to see something moving about in the clear waters in front of her. Keeping her dagger unsheathed Lily’s leather boots stepped swiftly over twigs and stones and a with bated breath crouch at the edge of the biggest pool her mouth parted slightly in wonderment. The crimson red tail flicked up above the water once more and then the Lily’s befuddlement a human hand split the surface of the water with a kind of grace that you would never expect and then it was gone. The surface of the water was eerily still and the only sound above the pool was Lily’s shallow breathing. Her deep green eyes scanned around the spot where the hand had disappeared. Instead, something not two feet in front the pirates face caught her attention. Two deep blue almost black twinkling eyes stared unblinking at her with an inquisitive disposition. The whiteness of the eyes were a brilliant contrast to the dark skin that travelled to a human forehead and human cheeks, almost as dark as the oak that the Marauder was crafted off. Despite the coldness of the stare the skin looked warm, like it was more orange than brown. Small ringlets of hair floated in a mass around the smooth forehead, but then the face rose slightly, and the rest was in sight. There was a human nose, flatter and wider than Lily’s own which was quite small and button like, the cheeks Lily could see properly now were full and the whole face was rather round, however what wasn’t human was the ears that didn’t protrude from her skull. It wasn’t like some of the crew that had their earlobes blown off, rather her ears were just the holes in the side of her head, and their were slits in the side of her neck starting just under her jaw finishing halfway down the neck. Lily hadn’t realised how far forward she had been leaning in wonder at the beautiful face in front of her until her balance had toppled and long sturdy arms caught one wrist and the other held her waist carefully. Faces on inches apart and eyes locked together as if the world would end if they stopped. This close Lily could see the specks yellow hidden in those deep mysterious eyes, they seemed scrutinous and untrusting. Out of the corner of her eye the marvellous fish tale was back, and Lily’s attention was stolen, the scales seemed to glimmer without any help from the sunlight, light patches faded to a burnt orange and green eyes followed the long tail up and up until slowly scales turned to pudgy human flesh. Lily’s eyes trailed up the rest of the body in front of her over the arm connected to her wrist still, followed a sharp collarbone, up the slender neck, across plump lips that parted to show sharp incisors and back to meet eyes once more.

“You’re a mermaid” Lily whispered dumbly unsure of what else to say. In a way of responding the mermaids doe like eyes narrowed and her head cocked to the side sending small drops of water down the water from the tightly wound ringlets that burst away from the mermaids face.

“And you are human.” The voice protruding out of the mermaid sounded like the words were foreign on her tongue as if she didn’t speak much.

“I’m Lily” the mermaid seemed perplexed by this and took a long time to think of an answer, large eyes never leaving the green ones presented before her. Carefully as if the next words might be the most important yet she pushed out the word

“Mary” Lily watched with apt attention how the mermaids lips formed around the word and the sharp set of teeth hiding behind them peaked out. The pirate leaned forward more so than before to graze her fingers lightly against Mary’s cheek, overtaken by a bout of confidence or stupidity Lily tipped herself toward the mermaid even more allowed her hand to cup Mary’s cheek ever so delicately. The hand holding her wrist slid down along her forearm leaving goosebumps in its wake and securing itself on the other side of Lily’s waist holding her up out of the water from both sides allowing Lily’s right hand to slip on to the bend between Mary’s shoulder and her neck, her thumb rubbing small circles just below the last gill. A tiny involuntary shudder ran through the mermaid at that all the way down to the tip of her tail which flicked the surface of the water slightly. At this Lily bent her head so pink blush lips could meet Mary’s in a soft kiss. It was unusual and incredible all at once. Like no other kiss Lily had experienced and like she had been kissing Mary for years. Muscle memory seemed to take over, but she felt as if she was just about treading water staying afloat in a vicious storm. Suddenly thankful for the strong arms circling her waist which helped ground her and keep her head although the way one hand pressed lightly at the small of her back and the other curled around her hip was intoxicating in the best way possible. After what felt like one second and an eternity they parted and only by the stars being reflected in Mary’s eyes did Lily register how long she had been gone for, but she didn’t move, she stared at those magnificent blue eyes and wished she knew more. More about Mary’s life, who she was, what she knew, anything, everything and then she realised she could. So, Lily asked all the questions she could think of, and Mary smiled brightly at her curiosity and answered gracefully. Lily settled on the grass next to the pond and admired the stars above her as Mary laid back in the water occasionally flicking her tail as the two shared stories of their parents, of siblings, friends how Lily ended up a pirate from a well-respected family and how Mary ended up on the little island in a fresh water pool. They talk and the sun started to peak up from behind them and they kept talking so openly as if they could never trust some else as deeply as they did each other and maybe they never would again.

Moony’s birthday

Ok so I thought this fic was lost forever and then it turns out I just needed to restart my laptop and everything was fine again lol. Turns out machines need a break too. This is def some hurt/comfort shit and I’m kind of proud of it so I hope you enjoy. 

Sleep was wonderful. It was a point where you could escape the worries and responsibilities of life for a while where you didn’t have to do anything except appreciate the warmth of the duvet. That is exactly what Remus Lupin was doing. Well until the covers were thrown back by his traitor husband exposing the long and lanky frame to the cold march air. That brought a stabbing pain in his chest that he was almost used to by now, almost.

----------

Covers yanked back and three extra bodies piled onto the small twin sized bed with similar levels of excite glee.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Mooooonnnnnnyyyyyyy” the three bodies also decided to bring their disastrously out of tune voices along with them it seemed “happy birthday too youuuuu!”

Despite the feeling of being physically crushed by his best friends Remus also felt crushed by the love pouring out of these boys and a grin couldn’t help but work itself onto his face.

----------

“Moonbeam, my love how are you this fine morning?” Sirius said with way to much joy and energy in his voice for 8am.

“Better if you let me sleep in you arsehole” the tawny (now greying) haired man grumbled into his pillow haphazardly searching for the duvet to pull back over his head, but soon gave up as he could reach it

“Well, this arsehole made you birthday breakfast so come on I know you hate getting crumbs in the bed” and with that the shorter man left the room with a large flourish, well a rather dramatic flick of his hair at least.

Birthday breakfast is something James thought of. Remus didn’t like presents and hated his birthday, hated the attention, but James being James needed to show his friend how much he cared.

----------

Stumbling down to the great hall before classes still wiping sleep from his eye Remus Lupin was joined by only two friends instead of the regular three. James was often an early riser so seeing him sat at the breakfast table wasn’t unusual. No, the unusual thing was the plate of all different goodies. Pancakes, waffles, toast, beans, sausages, bacon, hashbrowns, eggs (done every way you can), croissants, hot cross buns, crumpets and even cereal. It seems his friend hadn’t forgot a single classic English breakfast item and as Remus sat down staring bewildered at the mountain of foods the messy haired boy spoke up before he could even attempt to say anything.

“My Mum taught me to cook loads of different things like the eggs sunny side up, scrambled, poached fried. OH, and the pancakes have got chocolate chips cause you love chocolate y’know, can’t forget the chocolate sauce, I’ve also got fruit cause well its healthy. I just figured since you don’t like presents at least I can give you food, right?” the information was sort of rocketed in Remus’s general direction rather than actually spoken but that was just James.

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Remus was pulled from another memory of Hogwarts that caused that twinging pain in his left lung, by the mountain of food on the island in the kitchen. Pancakes, waffles, all the cereal boxes pulled down from the shelf, a plate of sausages and another waiting for the bacon, hashbrowns, croissants, hot cross buns, and crumpets.

 Sirius was standing over the stove frying up the last of the bacon swinging his hips and humming too the intro of ‘tie your mother down’ playing through the old record player speakers sat in the corner. Remus lent against the doorway admiring the love of his life with Remus’s pyjama’s low on his hips. Sirius was beautiful, he always had been why shouldn’t Remus spend a bit of time relishing in the presence of this man. The humming had changed into Sirius belting out the words.

“GET YOUR PARTY GOWN, GET YOUR PIGTAIL DOWN, GET YOUR HEART BEATIN’ BABY”

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12th December 1976 was a cold day which Remus decided was best wrapped up in a blanket with a book, that was until Sirius and James all but tumbled through the door to their shared dorm.

“PRONGS PUT IT ON GO ON GO ON!”

“IM GETTING THEIR PADFOOT JUST-“

Remus looked up from his perch on the windowsill book in his lap forgotten in favour of the two boys excitement.

‘’What the fuck is happening?” came Remus’s confused gruff voice from the other side of the room.

“MOONY MOONY MOONY MOONY CHRISTMAS HAS OFFICIALLY COME EARLY! LOOK, LOOK, LOOK!” Sirius was practically vibrating with excitement and way to loud as per usual as he shoved the record sleeve in his boyfriends face.

“Woah. WHERE IN THE EVER-LIVING FUCK DID YOU GET THIS?” A wide excited grin joined his face too match his two best friends.

“Muggle shop,” he said flippantly “it came out TWO days ago Moony!”

“Hold on how did you get to muggle shop, Hogsmead is the only town nearby? No tell me after we’ve listened to the album, come on James how long does it take to put on a fucking record”

“Alright don’t get your knickers in a twist Moony, here” and the first notes of Tie your mother down started playing through the speakers and the three friends stood around appreciating the music.

They must’ve listen to the album twice through before Peter joined them and proceeded to complain that they didn’t find him immediately. Then they all listened through the album through another three times before discussing and then another two times. To say Day at the races was a favourite record for the marauders was an understatement.

“Wow, that might be there best album EVER” Peter announced

“Ooh making some bold claims there Wormy” came the teasing voice of James Potter

“I think my favourite song was Tie your mother down. What about you lot?” Sirius started the conversation the usually ended in arguments and harsh words thrown about whenever a new record was added to the marauders collection. “Moony?” grey eyes looked up through dark eyelashes up at the other boy. From his place in his lap Sirius got a perfect view of the birthmarks speckling the column of Remus’s neck and the different shades of brown, yellow and gold in his hair. The light from above created a halo around Remus’s head as he looked down on the dark-haired boy resting in his lap.

“Oof, Pads. A favourite? I dunno, they were all sooooo good!”

“Oh, come of it Moony you always have a favourite!” James socked foot came to knock his knee, the taller boys attention was briefly taken away from the boy in his lap. Sirius usually like to have all the attention, but he didn’t mind this one bit, getting too look at Moony will that easy smile spread across his face and watching the thoughts run over his face was a sight to behold.

“Good old fashioned lover boy” he said holding James gaze as the messy haired boy threw his hands in the air in clear frustration.

“NO! THE BEST SONG WAS CLEARLY DROWSE!”

“WHAT?! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME PRONGS” Remus lent forward and threw his hands around but quickly moved back in fear of jostling Sirius too much

“WHAT IT WAS A GOOD SONG AND I STAND BY THAT!” messy haired boy stood up with an air of finality

“Oh no you don’t get to walk away from this conversation Prongs” at the moment Remus leapt across the room, all aspects of keeping his boyfriend comfy went out the window apparently and latched himself onto James ankles toppling him to ground like a Jenga tower.

----------

Remus wrapped his arms around his husbands waist and plastered his chest to expanse of Sirius back while proceeding to joining with a new rendition of Tie your mother down.

“GOT MY TIMIN’ RIGHT, GOT MY ACT ALL TIGHT, ITS GOTTA BE TONIGHT MY LITTLE SCHOOL BABE!”

“YOUR MOMMA SAYS YOU DON’T AND YOUR DADDY SAYS YOU WON’T AND IM BURNIN’ UP INSIDE AINT NO WAY IM GONNA LOOSE OUT THIS TIME”

The smell of burning bacon is what knocked the couple out of their fantasy and Sirius frantically moved the pan of the heat and salvaged the bacon that wasn’t burnt. Still plastered to his husbands back Remus started shaking with silent laughter.

“Oi you wanker grab the plate and at least be useful instead of laughing at my efforts” Sirius said a teasing lilt to his voice. Moving away from the warmth that Sirius always managed to radiate was more of a chore than trying to grade 1st years essays even if he did wrap his arms back around the shorter mans waist as soon as he could.

“Y’know, I thought you were getting better at cooking didn’t Effie teach you to cook” Remus said jokingly.

“She certainly tried; you know James was always the chef” in one sentence all of their teasing had fallen, and they were left with the nasty reminder that they were alone. The two of them with their friends all lost to a war that none of them should have been a part of. The tears didn’t creep up on Remus by any stretch of the imagination, they had been waiting for the right moment to strike all morning and he had only just been holding them back.

“I miss them too, love” Remus whispered into Sirius neck where he had tucked his head.

official elon musk hate post reblog to hate like to hate reply to hate

pro but only if its after you finish cereal and slurp it up like left over soup even tho cereals a fucking chowder

are y’all pro or anti drinking milk