Another Night, Another Fic Of Hyunjin To Cry For
another night, another fic of hyunjin to cry for
DRUNKEN WITH A SENSE OF LOVE | HWANG HYUNJIN.
genre | romance / drunken confessions / fake dating au
synopsis | you and hyunjin got drunk at different times, and you two took care of each other similarly.
word count | 7.1k+
warning | mentions of insecurity / brief allusion to sexual themes / alcohol and drunkenness
note | i changed almost everything about this.
Hyunjin has gotten himself etched to the back of your mind, and you genuinely did not like that.
You didn't blame him, though. If anything, you blame yourself for falling so head over heels for him.
For one, Hyunjin couldn’t help who falls in love with him. He couldn’t suppress his overwhelmingly good looks if he tried, which he never did. He enjoyed the positive attention, however shallow they often were. He also couldn’t put a pause on his decent personality, which came as a genuine surprise to you after you got to know him better through this fake dating scheme. You always thought beautiful people harbored the ugliest heart, out of envy and bitterness. Hyunjin wasn’t like that. You didn’t think he was, at least.
For two, you should have known better than to fall in love with a man leagues above your selection pool. People called it self-degradation, a lack of self-esteem, having no self-worth, and whatnot. You considered it a down-to-earth trait, a reality check, understanding your limits, and whatnot. Hyunjin was a boy you should fall in love with in moderation but never utterly, ardently, absolutely. You were, unfortunately, the latter.
For three, and this was the stupidest part, you two were temporarily dating. Hyunjin was honest when he approached you and said that his friends, at the ripe age of twenties and pursuing higher education, thought you were good enough to be the butt of a romantic joke. They had challenged him to chase you, get you into a relationship, and break your heart. It was a heinous and, frankly, childish game, but you agreed to it with him for the prize money.
It was worth it at that time. It was easy money! Who wouldn’t want that? You didn’t feel that way now. Pretending to be in a loving relationship with him has short-term perks but long-term losses.
Hyunjin was practically in you, etched to the back of your mind, tattooed on the inside of your skin, taken by your bloodied hands to the bottom of your grave. The degree to which your heart dropped for him was unexplainable by yourself. Therefore, having the excuse to go on dates and hold his hands in public, snuggle with him during outings with his friends, and maintain a pleasant friendship with him behind closed doors were great experiences. But when the time comes for separation, you will hurt, not merely over the breakup, but the reminder that he has never felt more for you, that your wonderful experience with him was just an experience.
Clumsy stumbling could be heard outside his apartment, and not a second later came a round of demanding knocks. Hyunjin's head perked up at the noise, his eyes wide in alert at the sudden banging. He looked at the door momentarily before finally looking over to the clock, his brows furrowing slightly at the late time. He waited to check if it could be a drunken stranger approaching the wrong door, but soon enough, another round of aggressive knocks sounded.
Holding the thought that it could just be his roommate, Han Jisung, coming back home late for yet another odd reason, and also praying inwardly that he wouldn't have to spend the night taking care of a loud, obnoxious, and very drunk Jisung, he made his way up and approached the door.
Flinging the door open, Hyunjin did a double-take before his annoyed expression morphed into one of surprise. His arm went slack against the wooden frame of the door, and he took an instinctive step forward when he saw your drunken state—your features were scrunched up in discomfort, your eyes squinted because astigmatism had taken over on your walk to the apartment building, and you were hunched over. You were not at all the way you used to look, not the way he was used to seeing you, which was always so presentable and well put together.
An amused smile appeared on his face as he eyed you up and down, wanting nothing more than to make fun of and tease you even without your ability to form the perfect retorts he has grown to be highly fond of. But you sniffed for a moment and took a step forward. In that exact second, you had Hyunjin doubling over to catch you before you could fall to the floor, concern lining up the crinkles of his eyes as he looked down at you.
"Woah, alright! Let’s stand slowly, okay?" he commanded gently, cooing at your side as if talking to a child.
His arms curled around your shoulder and waist with a protective grip, and he hoisted your weight by supporting you with his own. Pulling you into the apartment, he shut the door slowly with his feet before returning his attention to you, hoping to bring you to the couch where you could lie down and rest.
“Jeez, babe, how much did you drink?” he laughed, dragging your unresponsive body along with him.
You groaned lowly, trying your best to hold down the acidic taste rushing at the back of your mouth. You wouldn’t know it, but this was not what you had planned for the night. Your friends did their job sending you home safely. Who would have thought you’d leave your apartment shortly after just to stumble to Hyunjin’s home? It was a short distance from your place, but what a miracle you made it without any major accidents! And what a disaster you made it to his home while being high on alcoholic honesty!
You snapped your head up. You were at the perfect angle to stare at his side profile, allowing you the premium shot of his perfect jawline, luscious locks, beautiful lashes, button tip of his nose, and just the most kissable lips you have ever seen. A grimace reached your face. It was an instinctive response. His good looks indeed couldn’t hide even behind the blurriest of eyes. You thought if you lied to your body enough, your mind would follow, so you grimaced whenever you looked at him, hoping to start disliking him. It hasn’t worked.
"Hwang Hyunjin,” you muttered.
He chuckled. “Yes. That is me."
You gulped, still staring at him. Then, as you lowered your eyes to the floor, you leisurely suggested what’s been on your mind recently, “We should break up."
Of all the things you have done within these few months of him meeting you, including you agreeing to help him lie to his friends about this fake dating challenge to punching someone in the face for shaming his impulsive sex life, which you weren’t surprised he has, this one caught him off guard the most. This one also made him panic. It was fear, like sweaty hands and dry lips, like his mind racing with terrible thoughts, racing with made-up reasons as to why you would want that, racing with every single action he has done that could be counted as a mistake.
"Wh–what? Why do you–why? Why are we breaking up? We are fine. I didn't do anything–did I do something?" Hyunjin stuttered, unconsciously tightening his grip on your body before he let out a gentle but firm whisper, "No."
“I know, I am sorry. I don’t know–I’m just sorry,” you slurred, long stopped looking at him and instead was now leaning your entire weight against him like a wall. Your hands waved about in the air. "You are mad at me, aren't you? Of course–“ you snorted obnoxiously–“it’s a lot of money! I’ll pay you. Break up with me, don’t be mad.”
Hyunjin stared at you as you laughed manically. It sounded choked up, like you’ve got wet coughs prepared in your throat, but he could tell you were far from shedding tears, unlike good ol’ sensitive him, who remained in a state of anxiety and was still trying to process why you brought up separation. It wasn’t time for the fake dating to end. It was nowhere near it! To suggest breaking up so early must mean something was wrong with him, but what was? He couldn’t tell! To think he was just losing his mind over what to do once it was time for this fake relationship to end.
“Hyunjin,” you called him once when you noticed his silence. Looking up at him, you furrowed your brows and reached up to brush his face clumsily with your hand, pushing your fingertips against his skull. “Hyunjin? Hey. Answer me. Hey. Hello. Hyunjin!”
He leaned away from your aggressive touch, his shoulders relaxing at your playful antics. A smile formed uncontrollably on his lips when you doubled down on smearing your hands all over his face after his dodges. He was left haplessly struggling between missing your direct eyeball pokes and keeping you from falling to the ground. You grinned out loud; he mirrored it, and he didn’t hear the sound of your laughs mixing together because he hears it all the time.
“You are very drunk, [Name],” he managed to comment after grabbing both of your hands and keeping them at his face level. His tight-lipped smile sparkled when you attempted a struggle, like a parent reprimanding their child, then he moved your hands to your face and squeezed your cheeks together. Your lip jutted out in response. He leaned in to kiss your cupid’s bow. “You’re being silly. Let’s get you cleaned up and back to bed.”
The frown on your face made him nervous. His hands slowly slipped from your face, and your hands fell to your sides. You remained silent, and he let the clogs in your brain move. Your thoughts weren’t clear. The only thing you were sure of was that the man standing before you was Hwang Hyunjin, your temporary boyfriend, and you’d spent the whole night trying to drink your feelings for him away. You came to his apartment for a reason—you needed to break up with him for your own good.
“No, I can’t go to bed yet. I have something to do.” You yawned and waved an arm dismissively. You spoke before you finished yawning, leaving your words hanging in the air in slow motion. “I came to tell you something.”
Hyunjin’s hands curled into fists. He let go, tightened them, and let go again to alleviate the sweat gathering at his palms. You were surprisingly hell-bent on the topic, which led him to believe it went beyond a moment of drunkenness. It must have been a conclusion formed long ago, and you have just now mustered the courage to let him know. But why? What did he do? What did he not do?
He was more than nervous, if there was a word to describe the state of his heart. This was more than a personal problem, which he admittedly still has to work through, but far more significant than himself was you—his feelings for you, his immense affection for you, the fact that he loved you the way you warned yourself not to love him but did anyway. It wasn’t your fault. Your observant eyes, your sincerity, your care for him. It wasn’t your fault. He fell in love with you of his own accord.
If you left him, he would be like a dog without a leash, a dog without an owner. He would wander aimlessly, filled with rage and dread, sniffing every darkened corner for a whiff of your scent.
“Are you breaking up with me?” he asked meekly.
You sucked in a deep breath to counter your congested chest, then you shook your head in agreement. “Yes.”
You were very drunk. He shouldn’t take your words into consideration. “That’s fine,” he said as he stepped toward you, “can we get cleaned up and go to bed anyway? It’s very late.”
“No, I don’t want you touching me anymore.” You stepped back dramatically and hugged yourself into a protective stance. “It’s for the better.”
He wondered what that meant. Were you repulsed by him? Did you finally realize how disgusting his inability to stay away from sexual and romantic validation was? Were you ashamed to be associated with him because of his impulsive behavior? He was only good for a short time; did you come to that realization? You were too good for him. He always knew that.
Hyunjin retreated his hand from mid-air. His hands met before his abdomen, his fingers immediately picking at each other as he uncomfortably shifted his weight. The corner of his lips arched downward at your rejection, but he tried to keep them neutral so he wouldn’t be influenced into crying. There wasn’t much else he could do with himself if being near you was no longer an option. He looked lost and wronged; he felt so.
“[Name], did I do something?” he asked, rubbing his elbow awkwardly. “Why do you suddenly want to break up with me?”
You blinked at a random space on the wall. Sitting below your sight was a messy square table with unwashed cups, scattered papers, and a closed laptop. Even in a state of haze, you knew they didn’t belong to him. Hyunjin was more organized than that. He told you once it made his school experience much easier to have everything in one place: his computer, which you knew he often kept in his school bag. You sniffed; you knew him like the back of your hand.
“I can’t tell you,” you replied slowly, not looking at him. “It’s a secret.”
Hyunjin tilted his head. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”
He sounded convincing, so you gradually moved your eyes to access him. Standing in front of you, timid as a mouse, was Hwang Hyunjin. You knew that, and you knew that your secret was to be kept from him. Yet, somehow, all that did not register once you were engaged in a conversation with him. He was Hyunjin, just a person you were talking to. If he promised not to tell, then it should be fine.
“You promise?” you asked.
Hyunjin nodded. “I promise.”
You pouted with a glare, willing him to waver and show any sign of deception, but he stood his ground and waited for you to expose your deepest and darkest feelings to him. A faint grumble sounded from your mouth. You looked around briefly to check for any eavesdroppers before you walked a few tentative steps toward him, and you confessed, “I’m in love with you.”
It was like a shot through the heart, and the shot was aimed so successfully that the organ tore off its hinges and fell to his abdomen where his hands fiddled nervously with each other. It may be asking for an exit out of his body, it may be seeking its new owner, or it may come knocking boldly at your mouth and ask to fit inside you. Hyunjin remained perplexed at your confession. The confession had a bitter taste; he wasn’t sure what to make of it or if he deserved it from someone like you.
“[Name]…”
“I’m sorry,” you apologized. “I am very in love with you. It’s stupid.”
He couldn’t tell, but you understood, despite a fogged mind, that letting him know your affection for him was a cause for your demise. Your emotions were in a whirlwind, collecting up the fragments of all the heart pieces you've broken because of Hyunjin and how you had confronted yourself multiple times with your own delusions that this wouldn't be like the movies. He would never fall in love with you just because you two got closer from months of fake dating.
Even then, he was empathetic to your body language, especially how much they mirrored his. His shoulders slumped at how you turned away from him to trail your attention off somewhere safer, where he wasn’t in your sight. Registering his beautiful face was hard for you because you couldn’t have him; processing his existence and your proximity to him was difficult because you could never have him. You turned away from him to further signify to yourself the assumed truth, your trembling fingers pulling at each other to avoid an awkward standstill.
Hyunjin was etched to the back of your brain. He was overwhelming, and he was far away. Unable to contain the sudden reminder that you were never going to get over him, a rush of tears started to tremble their way up to your eyes. Your face scrunched without remorse, and your head dropped near your shoulders alarmingly quickly that it startled him.
“I love you, I’m so sorry,” you sobbed. It made him panic. “Please break up with me.”
“Why are we breaking up if you love me, silly?” he forced a laugh once he approached you.
His lanky arms were clumsy and gentle after he pulled at his sweater sleeves to wipe your tears. They hovered awkwardly over your face, gauging how much strength to use to effectively dry your eyes but not push you any further away from him. He cooed a bunch of nonsense, but they were sweet like sleepy kisses on your hands. Eventually, he cupped your face and wiped your eyes with his thumbs. You let him; he made you laugh when he apologized for using too much force, even though he never did.
“You don’t love me, Hyunjin,” you muttered.
“Nonsense,” he retorted within a second, “who said that?”
You didn’t reply, so he stood with his arms raised for a whole minute while you leaned the weight of your head against his palms. He thought it terribly horrific that he ought to remember the shape of your face with his slender fingers because of his inability to sew his skin into yours. If his hands were like superglue, he could be attached to you forever—your face, your features, you, his most favorite thing in the world. His hands would burn, but what of it? Better you scorch him than to never be touched by you at all.
“Hyunjin,” you called when you were finished zoning out.
“Mhm?”
“I love you. I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m so ugly.”
Growing up being valued for his beautiful features taught him to devalue it. He didn’t care for it. He wouldn't cry about it if he were to earn a permanent scar across his face. Yet, even then, if he were to have one, he was sure people would rave about how the scar ruined his face rather than talk about how he obtained it. Except for you. You’d ask about it, like you always asked everything about him.
The kind of person you were, his most favorite person in the world—you were detailed like that, and you made him feel an essence of humanity others didn’t. With you, he wasn’t ethereal, he wasn’t a God, he wasn’t an angel fallen to Earth. He didn’t have to be because you never put him on some miraculous pedestal. He was just Hwang Hyunjin; his favorite food is his mother’s cooking, he makes clumsy mistakes and looks funny when he does, and he enjoys making art.
Not a model, not God’s favorite, not pretty. Just a boy, and he’s in love with you.
“Okay,” he said, “I’m ugly too.”
He didn’t deny your false claims; you were the prettiest he had ever known, but only he needed to know that. When there comes a time for him to praise and worship your physical body, he will. For now, there wasn’t anything much he wanted to say in return. Just that he was the same as you.
Your souls didn’t collide that way, obviously. You two were completely different people with varying hobbies and friend groups. However, Hyunjin was willing to chase you like Hell to meet where you were. There wasn’t anything he wanted to be if he couldn’t be it with you. Whatever you are, he is.
There was another long pause. Hyunjin patiently waited, tender eyes concentrated on each crevice of your face as he stroked your stained cheeks with his thumb. You didn’t say anything more, only slapping your hands over his and pulling them from your face. He thought you were moving away, but you took a step forward instead and dove into his arms. You hugged him around his neck, hanging off him like a sloth. He chuckled, swaying you side to side. You were tired, he knew.
“It’s getting late, baby,” he whispered, leaning back to watch your closed eyes and laughing. He ran a hand through your hair multiple times, getting a clearer view of your face. “Let’s clean up and go to bed, okay?”
You groaned and muttered in response. He didn’t hear what you said. He kept sweeping your hair back. Supporting you with his weight, you were heavy, but he didn’t mind. You wouldn’t be able to change your clothes by yourself, so he would help you. It’d be sloppy and slow, and he wouldn’t mind. You would take up most of the bed, sprawled out without a clue that you weren’t sleeping in your apartment. Your body heat would scratch up a fever in him, and he wouldn’t mind. He enjoyed taking care of you.
Staring at him as he stroked your hair, you pouted before uttering three familiar words, “I love you.”
Hyunjin smiled. Whatever you are, he is. He kissed your nose and your eyes. He told you he loves you too.
It was one of those nights when Hyunjin couldn’t spend time with you, and you were unreasonably disappointed about it.
You slouched atop the couch you got at a flea market, which Hyunjin had to convince you to get after repeatedly reassuring you that there wouldn’t be any actual fleas hiding in the creases. This uncomfortable position resulted from five hours of continuous mumbling about how you should not be upset that Hyunjin didn’t choose to spend the night with you, which he had done the past few weeks. He has been somewhat clingy lately, and you couldn’t imagine why. You thought your act was good. There was no way his friends doubted you.
This could be the calm before the storm. Even though you two had concocted a detailed timeline for your fake dating, you wouldn’t be surprised if Hyunjin abruptly cut it short. If that was true, his current sweetness was nothing more than a buildup to a dramatic and convincing breakup.
Pouting in dismay, you rolled up the bag of chips and reached for the tea table beside you, your fingertips wiggling to graze past the black binder clip you used to keep the plastic bag sealed. Amid your frustrated groaning, still refusing to get your ass off the couch even after more than ten seconds of struggling, the doorbell suddenly rang, and coming after that were loud bangs at your door.
A shiver ran down your spine as you snapped your head toward the direction of the noise, your brows rising abruptly at the fearful intrusion. Slowly throwing your chip bag on the table, you stood up and tip-toed your way over to the door where you pressed your hands to the wooden surface and carefully looked through the peephole.
A gasp caught in your throat when you saw Hyunjin’s face standing just a few inches away from the circle as if leaning against the door for support. You immediately moved out and unlocked your door, swinging it open to reveal him fully. Taking a good look at his face before he started to throw his little drunken tantrum—messy hair, concentrated brows, droopy eyelids, and a general look of discomfort—you concluded that he definitely has been downing more shots than he could handle.
“What happened to you?”
You stepped up to put your hands on either side of his arm, carefully bringing him into your apartment. He stumbled with most of his weight straining on your shoulder. There were so many stutters in his steps that you almost dragged him into a fall with you on your way to the couch. After setting him down, he snorted at the cushy feeling of your couch. It took him a while to process the new environment, and then he arched his neck to find you.
Hyunjin could barely make out your face. He couldn’t even be sure if he went to your apartment, but subconsciously, he could tell he was at your place. He felt it in your timid touches just now, and whatever scent he whiffed out of the air, it smelt like you. Licking his lower lip as his worries slowly faded away and his attention—as much as he could muster—returned, he mumbled a string of incoherent noises under his breath before he, much to your palpitating heart’s dismay, pulled you onto the couch next to him.
He got on top of you; his legs had to bend in weird ways to accommodate the small couch, and he placed his palms on either side of your head to trap you under him. You felt heat forming on your cheeks as you shrunk beneath his shadow, your eyes widening at the proximity. Hyunjin has never done this before. The closeness wasn’t new, but the position of it was. Being under him was an unbelievable feeling. He looked beautiful, and his toned muscles became more visible by supporting his own weight. How your thoughts were smeared! You doubted your body would forget how well he could cage you in.
Hyunjin stared at you with a low, drunken hum. Then, suddenly, he leaned down to meet your face.
“[Name],” he started, lowering his head tiredly to your shoulder, “you wanted to break up with me?”
You blinked up at the ceiling, confused, but you figured it could be the alcohol talking for him, so you chose to disregard all the questions that popped into your head. Holding out your arms to push against his chest, you attempted to sit up. “I don’t want to break up with you, Hyunjin.”
He seemed to be processing your answer as he allowed you to set him aside and give yourself more space. You sat quietly next to him, letting him have the time to think over what he wanted to say. The thoughtful pout on his face told you it was difficult for him to use his brain, but it looked cute enough that you almost took a picture to tease him about it once he got sober. You wondered if his response would be nonsense as well.
“Why do you want to break up with me?” he whispered, causing you to sigh. He hasn’t heard you, after all. His lips were pursed into a frown, and his eyes were squinted to show that he was very close to leaking a few tears down his cheeks, but you couldn’t read between the lines and realize what his despair meant. Hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt, he abruptly turned to you and sniffed. “You can’t do that to me. I won’t–I won’t let you do that to me.”
You tilted your head to the side, your brows constantly furrowed. Where was he getting this idea from? You tried to recall any off-handed comments you made. Still, they were primarily directed elsewhere and never at your fake relationship. You’ve never said anything bad about him, not to him, and never behind his back. There wasn’t anything outstandingly mean to say anyway, so what sprung this on?
Returning to reality, your head faintly shook as you looked up at Hyunjin to ask his drunken state about the reason behind this outburst. Your eyes widened instead when you saw he had taken his shirt off, the lump of fabric discarded on the floor carelessly. Heat blossomed at the base of your neck, and you felt your joints sour in panic; seriously, what sprung this on! This was a much bigger issue than drunkenness!
When you noticed his hands reaching to the belt of his jeans, you immediately lunged toward him and circled his wrists to stop his movements. Your panic became a surprised concern at his need to strip naked in your apartment. You doubted he wanted to show you his body. Even if he did, this wasn’t how you wanted to do it.
Moving his hands away, you urged, “No. We’re not doing that.”
“No, I have to! I have to!”
He snatched his hands away from yours and dove to unbuckle his belt again. His movements grew increasingly frustrated the more you blocked his attempt to remove his pants. You were annoying, but he wasn’t angry at you. He was scared. He wasn’t getting what he wanted, and he thought you might leave him if he didn’t show you what he could offer. It scared him that you didn’t want to see him whole, so eventually, he began to sob.
“I have to show you, [Name]. Please let me!” Hyunjin whined, hands tugging harshly at each other by his chest.
“You don’t have to show me anything,” you assured as you grabbed a few tissues from the tea table. You dabbled softly at his eyes. “Come on, let’s put your clothes back on.”
Tears rolled down his cheeks like knives against your skin. He felt uncomfortable at this unfamiliar sequence. Things usually go smoothly after he reveals himself. Nobody has ever refused to see him, so why did you? What about himself was so repulsive that you couldn’t take one look at his bare skin? Why didn’t you love him back?
“No.” he slurred, then paused to catch his breath.
The moment of calm was gone too soon. His hands reached up to ruffle his hair in a frenzy. His heart hammering against his chest, yet his brain wasn’t sane enough to understand what the sudden panic was about, just that it had something to do with you. That obliviousness, as a result, was making him even more agitated.
“You need to love me again!” he exclaimed, eyes brimming with unknown tears. “People love me when I take my clothes off. You need to love me again!”
A puff of air slowly made its way out of your half-parted lips. You could feel the stretching of your heartstrings. Hyunjin cried as he shrank into himself, his arms going around his cold body for a sense of comfort, and the sight toyed with your head by sending waves of deep anguish like mere laps of the ocean. The feeling deranged you—to realize Hyunjin experiences such a level of hopelessness and loneliness was heartbreaking. More importantly, you felt ignorant of his problems. You should have been a better friend, perhaps even a better lover.
“Hey,” you called out gently as you scooted toward him. You brought one hand up to his face to direct his eyes to you. You smiled softly when you found that he was opening his squinted eyes to stare back. “I’m going to get something, so wait here for me, okay?”
He sniffed, tasting the tears rolling down his mouth, and nodded. You rubbed his cheek with your thumb, ever so gingerly placing a hand at the small of his back, hoping to calm him down, but it turned out Hyunjin had a thought of his own. After feeling the warmth of your hand, he took it as a sign that you wanted to hug him, so he obliged immediately by wrapping his arms around your torso and putting his head on your shoulder.
You breathed a small chuckle when he made weird noises after finding a space at the crook of your neck. The transition from him throwing a tantrum to having a mini panic attack to being the clingiest person you have ever met was amusing. As was the transition from your mind being filled with annoyance and confusion to having your feelings torn into shreds to breathing out a chuckle. It was entertaining, and the fact that Hyunjin could bring out so many different aspects of your emotions was undeniably endearing.
He was that kind of person. He has always been. More than beautiful, he was expressive, selfless, and tender-minded. Watching him allowed you to live an emotional life vicariously. All the things you ignored in the past because of mental stress were repainted in colors by his hands. The movie you never watched, the ice cream you never tried, the districts you never visited, and the fireworks show you never stayed for—everything meant something to Hyunjin, so everything meant something to you.
To him, love was a grave of sacrifices. Of his time, his space, his body, and his mind. He was willing to give, and he has given you all except one. You wouldn’t know any of it.
You moved to the back of the couch, cautiously pressing your back up against the edge. Hyunjin followed you, shifting his position so he lay stuffed against your chest with your arms around his shoulders. His fingers played with each other shyly on top of his bare chest as he looked around your apartment absentmindedly. He couldn’t register anything but the fabric of your clothes and how small you made him feel.
He finally looked at you after a moment. His cries had long ceased and left only trails of dry tears on his dearest cheeks. With his eyelashes still wet, glittering beautifully in the air, he blinked, his eyes widening after he found out you had been looking down at him. Suddenly, he grinned childishly with a hint of sun hidden in his smile. “What are you looking at?”
You hummed, finding Hyunjin utterly irresistible even with his tear-stained cheeks and slurred laughter. He was all messy and puzzling, but your heart pushed against itself to give him space to stay inside. “I’m looking at you, silly.”
“Oh, you’re looking at me.” He giggled, covering half his face with his hands and shutting his eyes shyly. He squirmed around in your arms, but not once did he move far enough to not feel you against him. When he was done, he returned back to the original position, and he peeked an eye through the gap between his fingers. He laughed. “ I am looking at you too.”
“I know you are,” you said, fingers threading through his feathery locks with serenity, and a smile so heartwarming that Hyunjin couldn’t help but focus his sight on it.
“Why?” he asked, his eyes shaky.
You pursed your lips together and shrugged. “I can’t tell you. It is a secret.”
Hyunjin’s gaze hardened naively, a gasp ripping through his throat as he leaned back against your hand. “Tell me! I promise I won’t tell anyone else.”
“You promise?”
“I promise!” he exclaimed, sitting up slightly and bumping his forehead against your chin. He burst into a fit of giggles then, rubbing his forehead for a while before reaching the same hand out to touch your chin sloppily. “I’m sorry, I hit your face.”
“It's okay,” you said, your thumb soothing against the spot he had bumped into you. “But you promise me you can keep a secret? It’s very important!”
He nodded eagerly. “I promise!”
“Okay,” you said as you looked up at the sky, pretending to think. “The reason why I am looking at you is really simple. It is because I love you.”
You glanced back down at him to find him looking at you in astonishment. He licked his lower lip. His mind cleared a little for the first time, and he felt all of the universe that was your body pressed close to him. Beyond that, there were more minor things. Your heart beat faster than his, making him chase after you like a madman; the warmth of your skin equated to the warmth he manually cultivated in his bed by stacking multiple blankets together, an attempt to replicate your presence at night; your soft voice, going through his blurry ears, sounded like the subconscious voice he hears all the time. Maybe his subconscious was all just you.
Those were all fragments of proof of how much he loved you. To think you returned his feelings—he didn’t know what to think.
“Really?” He sounded so surprised. It was almost heartbreaking.
“Yes,” you nodded, “even when we both have clothes on.”
He looked down and touched your shirt. “Oh, you are wearing a shirt.”
“Yes, I am.”
He gazed at it briefly before, with an invisible shrug, leaned his cheek against your chest. “You’re warm. I like it.”
You smiled, feeling like your lips were about to extend out of your cheeks to become wider. “You’re cold because you took your shirt off!”
He scoffed and said nothing. Hyunjin was unguarded and half-stripped before you, chastely snuggling up against your chest while slurred words spilled out of his mouth like a mantra. You didn’t try to understand him; he wasn’t looking to have a conversation. You just wanted to lay together without a thought or a worry. Occasionally, he would sit up just to look at your face, then hum and lay back down, continuing to rot.
It was such a wondrous thing.
“Do you want to wash up and go to bed?” you asked. “Are you tired?”
“No. I want to stay here. I like it here.”
Hyunjin let out a dreamy sigh. He threw his head back with a smile, his hair hitting your jaw and sprawled over the crook of your neck. He tilted his head then, letting it fall along your shoulder. His eyes were closed with bliss, and he laughed to himself. When he opened his eyes, there was only the shadow of your side profile, which was good for him. He wanted to kiss the skin, filled with close-up bumps and blemishes. It was a side profile he’ll know for the rest of his life, and he’ll whisper ‘I love you’ to a million times.
“I have a secret to tell you,” he mentioned.
You raised a brow, intrigued, and urged him to continue, “What is it?”
He bit his lower lip and scurried off your body. You sat up straighter then, watching as he stumbled over to the front door for the bag he discarded on the ground. He crouched to pull a small notebook out easily before returning to you. He stopped by the couch, his eyes concentrated as he stared at the notebook's cover. Then, without another word, he dropped back onto your body and made you wrap your arms around him like before.
“I draw you all the time. In my sketchbook.”
He grinned out loud in the same way you would grin at him. His fingers played with the blank pages before, finally, he arrived at one filled with traces of his pencil. You gasped. He wasn’t spilling nonsense. The page was filled with beautiful sketches of your face, and so was the next one and the next. He kept flipping his notebook, and everywhere you could find pieces of yourself dotted out sincerely by his hand.
They didn’t look to come from memories, but they were definitely from moments not even you could remember. But Hyunjin remembered everything because he detailed it all in the lines. His inability to not consume all of you tied his hands together and made you his ultimate muse. Almost unconsciously, for a while, the only thing he knew to draw was you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t know how else to pour you out of his mind.
It was overwhelming, and you could see that. He was showing you all his blood work: mornings spent missing you with the tip of a crooked pencil, afternoons spent recalling your features in his head, nights spent tracing your face with his lead-filled fingers under a desk lamp. If he could inhale these sketches of you into his bloodstream and poison himself with those images, leaving an organ tattoo of your presence, he would.
“I love this one,” he said, pointing at a full-body sketch of you. “I was waiting for you at the coffee shop, and you were walking towards me. I love it. I was so excited to see you. I memorized what you wore.”
This sketchbook stayed with him all the time; he felt like he was bringing you with him, like a kid refusing to let go of their blanket. You wouldn’t know anything about that. The beautiful boy in your arms admired you constantly, from the farthest corner of his soul to the tip of his button nose, and you wouldn’t know anything about it.
“I draw you all the time,” he added. “I will never forget what you look like, but I always want to remember.”
The implications of that didn’t fly over your head. His addition to telling you the truth disabled your ability to attribute the fact that he draws you in his free time to him being artistic. But more than being afraid of rejection, you feared a mutual connection. The only thing worse than you finding Hyunjin loveable was him finding that you were as well.
“Do you know why?” he asked, looking at you expectantly.
You wavered. You hadn’t spoken since he showed you his sketches. “Why?”
Hyunjin stared at you. Within the drunken fog of his eyes, there was earnestness. “Because I love you too.”
You didn’t know what to say, and you wouldn’t. There was solace in choosing to believe that he didn’t mean it. When tomorrow arrives, and he returns sober, you wouldn’t speak of this conversation at all. When night comes tomorrow, and he’s had a full day of rest, Hyunjin would vividly recall how you took care of him and told him you loved him, and he would draw you again.
“Do you like them?”
His question snapped you out of your trance. Your sight blurred through a sudden quake before it focused on his face. Hyunjin pouted, his fingers tapping patiently at his notebook for your response. You softened with love and squeezed him in a hug, a smile blooming on your face.
“I’ve never liked anything more,” you complimented, “except for you!”
His legs kicked when you nuzzled your face to the back of his neck. His heart filled, like the sun could fill up a piece of land and the moon could fill up a river, and in return for his joy, he let out a boisterous laugh. He didn’t hear how it sounded with yours. Still, it was such a wondrous thing. Your love was such a wondrous thing.
More Posts from Kiminis and Others
❣︎ ⎯⎯ i’ve got you .
PAIRING ! jay park x reader // GENRE ! fluff // WC. ! 0.2k
PROMPT(S) ! 23. brushing strands of hair away ;; 24. patting their head // requested by @koishua <3 // 2k followers event
A/N. ! i wrote this a while ago, and since i don’t rlly have anything prepared, i thought i’d just post this early since i’m experiencing a lack of inspiration to write anything lately anyways djdjdjd
“hey, hey! what’s wrong?” jay asked, concern filling his voice as he quickly made his way over to you.
you were now sitting up right on the couch after having just woken up from a vicious nightmare, the terrible feelings still lingering within your chest from just moments before.
jay sat down beside you.
“bad dream?” he asked softly, lifting up one of his hands and brushing strands of hair away from your face.
you nodded sadly, leaning your head against his chest as his arms engulfed your tired form.
“let’s go to sleep, okay?” he asked you. “i’ll bring you to bed.”
you shook your head, “i don’t wanna.”
“why-“
“i’m scared i’m gonna dream about it again. i can’t,” you told him fearfully as you sat up to look into his eyes.
“don’t worry, love. it’s highly, highly unlikely to happen,” he responded. “plus, i’ll be right by your side. you have nothing to be scared of. and if anything ever happens to you, i’ll protect you, no matter what.”
he left a kiss on your cheek.
“now let’s go,” he told you, patting your head lightheartedly as he began to stand up, pulling you along with him with his other hand. “i’ve got you.”
A/N. ik this one’s quite short today, but i still hope you liked it nonetheless !! <3 feedback and reblogs are always appreciated ^_^ love u guys <3
2K EVENT MASTERLIST.
TAGLIST FORM.
I KNEW I SHOULD'VE STAYED CURIOUS
✴︎ THE MONSTER’s GONE, HE’S ON THE RUN, AND YOUR BOYFRIEND’s HERE.
pairing. lee heeseung x fem!reader
genre. established relationship, zombie apocalypse au, ANGST, fluff then and there, high sch!au (they’re seniors), mentions of dying and being bitten
synopsis. when it comes down to it, will lee heeseung protect you like he had promised in the beginning of your relationship?
author’s note. This one is a long one and I lwk felt my heart being ripped apart as I finished the ending 🙁 the scene where he sings to her is based off of the scene from “Beautiful Boy” where Nick’s father sings to him. I kind of envisioned Y/n and Heeseung as Cheongsan and On-jo so do whatever you want with this information!
Lee Heeseung was the perfect boyfriend. He was athletic, tall, and most importantly of all, loving. He wasn’t afraid to show you how much he cared about your relationship.
Being the captain of the hockey team came with a lot of perks. For one, no one was able to yell at him for always giving oogly eyes at you during practice, and no one dared say a word when Heeseung would stop in the middle of his laps to talk to you.
“It’s pretty cold, isn’t it?” Ha Kyungmi, the girlfriend of your cousin and Heeseung’s friend, Sunghoon, perched herself right next to you in the stands.
“Heeseung gave me his jersey.”
Kyungmi smirks, letting her hands feel the material of the jersey you have on. “You lucky bitch!” She says, making you giggle. “Heeseung’s never lent someone his jersey before, that’s how you know he’s serious.”
“That’s good to know,” your eyes look back into the ice, seeing your boyfriend and Sunghoon competing to see who was the fastest.
“You hear that breakout that’s been happening in Busan?” Kyungmi digs in her sweater pockets, pulling out her phone. “It’s reaching Seoul. My mom told me about it yesterday.”
You read over the article that Kyungmi shows you on her phone, something about a deadly outbreak that’s been contaminating the people of Korea. It had started in Busan, and it was making its way to Seoul now.
“Hey!” The voice of your boyfriend makes you snap out of your daze. Heeseung makes his way towards you along with Sunghoon, pulling off their skates as they tossed it against the wall.
“You look pretty,” Heeseung leans in to give your cheek a sloppy kiss, one that has Sunghoon pretending to gag at. “What are you gagging at Hoon? As if that’s not you and your girlfriend all the time.”
Sunghoon raises his hand in mock surrender, interlocking his hand with Kyungmi. “It’s weird seeing you kiss my cousin dude!” He says. “We’re gonna go to the cafeteria if you guys want to meet us there later.”
You glance at your phone, realizing there was only 15 minutes of lunch left.
“Sure, we’ll meet you there man.” Heeseung gives Sunghoon a pat on the back before intertwining his hand with yours, pulling you closer to him despite already being in close proximity.”
“Were you cold?” He asks, concerned bambi eyes making you bite your lip.
“No I wasn’t Seungie.” You lean your head on his shoulder, his thumb rubbing your fingers as the two of you stayed in silence for a bit. “We should probably meet with Sunghoon and Kyungmi before lunch ends.”
“Yeah.” The two of you stand up, making your way out of the ice rink. Thankfully for your growling stomach, your school’s cafeteria was only a few meters away.
“There they are!” Kyungmi waves the two of you over, “I told you buying 2 extra sandwiches was a good idea!”
“Okay okay, sorry baby.” Sunghoon says. “Took you guys forever.”
“It was 5 minutes Hoon,” Heeseung rolls his eyes, thanking Kyungmi as she passed you two your sandwiches. “I really don’t want to go to Ms. Jung’s class. She’ll be the death of me.”
Suddenly, there’s a scream, one that is so horrid that it makes your boyfriend drop the glass cup of orange juice he was holding.
“What’s happening?!” Heeseung says, standing up immediately. He wraps his arm around your waist, eyes widening when he sees students panicking all around.
“Quick, Mr. Jeon’s class is nearby!” Sunghoon pulls the three of you towards a classroom. Inside was about 10 other students, whom of which looked like they were on high alert.
“Yah,” one of the guys said, suddenly standing up. You recognize him as Yoo Hanbin, one of your classmates from biology during your tenth year. “Are you guys bitten? Show us your neck and arms.”
“Bitten?” Heeseung scoffs, pulling you closer to him.
“They don’t know what’s happening Hanbin.” One of his friends says calmly. “They’re probably just scared like us. Close the door, hurry.”
Hanbin snarls, but he obliges. He ushers the four of you in, closing the door in a rush. He then places the teacher’s large wooden desk against it with the help of the other students.
“What’s going on?” Kyungmi asks, flinching when a sudden bang comes from the door.
“Quick! Move more desks!” Despite not knowing what the hell was happening, you helped Hanbin and the others place all the desks against Mr. Jeon’s room.
“There’s an apocalypse,” Hanbin’s friend answers after you all catch your breath. “Haruto.” He introduces himself after.
“Apocalypse?” Heeseung’s grip on your hand is suddenly tighter. “What? You mean like a zombie apocalypse Haruto?”
“I didn’t believe it either,” Hanbin slides his body down against the wall tiredly, lifting up his sleeves to show you his arm. “At first.”
It was bloody and looked like it hurt badly.
“I was in the piano room when it happened. Seolhee’s cries were all I could hear before I heard them. Their growls.” Hanbin shakes his head, looking down at the ground. “I tried saving her—but I couldn’t. One of them tried to bite me before I slashed them across the face with the piano chair. I ran so fast that I fell on the way to Mr. Jeon’s room, that’s where the cut came from.”
You can’t help but send the poor boy a look of pity, feeling overwhelmed by the sudden information.
“Is this about the outbreak?” Kyungmi suddenly speaks up. “The one we read about, remember Y/N? Is it the one from Busan causing all of this?”
Haruto solemnly nods, and that’s enough for you to let out a small cry.
Heeseung wraps his arms around you, letting you bury your head into his chest. “Sh, it’s alright.”
But it wasn’t.
You and Heeseung huddle up together against one of the corners of the room alongside Kyungmi and Sunghoon, trying to generate as much heat as possible.
With the whole city in ruins by now, you knew electricity would be gone soon, you just hoped it would be gone in the morning instead of night.
“We’re almost out of water.” Haruto says, getting up suddenly. One of the girls, who you recognize as Ryujin gets up with him.
If you weren’t stuck in a zombie apocalypse, you would’ve gushed over how much they complimented one another. Ryujin was the star tennis player who looked like she hated everybody, but the way she looks at Haruto showed that she more than tolerated him.
“You seriously aren’t thinking..?” Ryujin pulls Haruto back by his arm. “You can’t go by yourself to get water!”
“I’ll go with him.”
For all the years you’ve known Sunghoon, he’s never been as brave as he was now. You could tell Kyungmi was scared out of her mind, grabbing onto his hand as her lips quivered.
“It’s too dangerous! We’ll live without water for now!”
“Don’t be ridiculous baby,” Sunghoon gives her a comforting glance. “Me and Haruto will go, we’ll come back soon.”
“If he’s going, I’m going too.” The emotions Ha Kyungmi felt earlier now transferred to you. You shake your head, not letting Lee Heeseung’s hand fall from yours. “Y/N, please. Sunghoon’s my best friend, I have to.”
But I’m your girlfriend, you wanted to say.
As much as it hurt you, you knew you had to let Heeseung go. The risks were high, but you knew the rest of your classmates were thirsty to death and needed water as soon as possible. You couldn’t be selfish and beg your boyfriend to stay in front of all of them.
“Be safe.” You say, standing up to cup Heeseung’s face. “Please. Protect yourself first.”
He nods, wiping away the tears that escaped your eyes.
“Promise me, Heeseung.” You whisper.
“I promise.”
You let go of Heeseung reluctantly, watching as him, Sunghoon, and Haruto all slowly push aside the desks, opening the door as slowly as possible.
The growls were less prominent than they were a few hours earlier. You didn’t even want to look through the window to see how many zombies were downstairs at your school’s entrance.
As soon as they’re gone, a boy comes and sits himself right next to Kyungmi and you, giving a small smile.
“You okay Kyung?”
You find it weird how close he’s being with Kyungmi, and even weirder that he waited till Sunghoon had left.
“I’m fine Eunwoo,” Kyungmi replies, slouching against the wall. “Are you okay?”
You turn your head back around, not wanting to eavesdrop on your friend. You prayed and prayed that Heeseung would be kept safe when he was going to get water. You knew where the boys were going—Mrs Ahn’s room. She was the only teacher who kept giant packs of water bottles in her class for students who were thirsty. You hoped Mrs. Ahn was still alive.
“They’re going to Mrs. Ahn, aren’t they?” Ryujin asks, sitting herself next to you.
“They are.” You turn to make eye contact with her, surprised to see a purple bruise near her eye. “What happened to you?”
“Zombies.” She grins, although she knows it’s no time for jokes. “I only made a fuss earlier because Haruto was the one who saved me. Despite being quiet, he really knows how to fight off zombies.”
“Hey,” you get closer to her, almost whispering now. “What do you know about Eunwoo over there?”
Ryujin raises her eyebrows, placing her sight on Eunwoo who was talking to Kyungmi up close. “Has had a crush on Ha Kyungmi for over a year now. I see them sometimes.”
Your eyebrows furrow, not expecting such a response. Before you could say anything back, Heeseung and Haruto quickly rush into the room, slamming the desks back onto the door.
“Seungie?” You and Ryujin rush over to help them. They had 2 packs of waters in their hands, letting it drop on the ground along with their knees as they tried to catch their breath.
“I—I—” Heeseung seems choked up, his eyes teary and red. “I tried to help him—I really did.”
Your jaw practically drops knowing full well what Heeseung was implying. Park Sunghoon was nowhere to be found, not behind him, not behind Haruto.
“They came so quickly, we panicked and we just ran and I—” Haruto is unable to finish his sentence when you let out a scream, your body scumming to the floor.
“My cousin’s dead?” You sob out, clutching onto Heeseung’s bloody blazer when he comes down to hug you.
“I can’t believe it,” Kyungmi’s mouth goes dry and she turns over to hug Eunwoo, who rubs her back comfortingly.
You’re too distraught to even question why she was in another guy’s arms right after your cousin, her own boyfriend, just died.
“I’m sorry,” Heeseung repeats over and over again, letting you cry into his shoulder.
“It’s not your fault,” you sniffle. “Tell me he died a quick death. Tell me it wasn’t painful for him Hee.”
“He fell out the window,” Heeseung says, a few tears escape his eyes. “They backed us up into a wall and Sunghoon fell out an open window. We heard a loud slam and when we looked, he was already dead.”
You sob even louder, making Heeseung’s hold on you tighten.
When you finally catch your breath and pull away, you notice how Heeseung has scratches all over his face.
“Oh Seung,” you say, tracing your fingers over them. “It must really hurt.”
“It feels fine when I’m with you.”
The both of you lean against the cushion that’s propped against the bookshelf in Mr. Jeon’s room, your head laying against Heeseung’s shoulder as you both hold each other’s hands tightly. You felt like Heeseung would disappear if your grip loosened.
“Your lip,” Heeseung suddenly says, letting his index finger touch your lips, which were chapped and bleeding.
“It’s fine,” you brush him off, but he shakes his head, reaching into his pocket for something.
“Here, I have your chapstick.” He pulls out your strawberry flavored chapstick, the one that you always bought before the apocalypse had happened.
“Where’d you get this?” You breathe out.
“I always keep a spare one in my pockets because I know you,” Heeseung smiles down at his lap. “I knew it would come in handy.”
Your eyes softened at his words, one hand coming to hold his chin as you lean in to give him a long kiss.
“Thank you Seungie,” you say as you pulled away. “For everything.”
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
You suddenly jolt up from your sleep, face covered in cold sweat.
“Hey, hey, everything’s okay.” Heeseung whispers to you.
You take in your surroundings, making out Hanbin and Haruto’s figures guarding the doors and the rest of the students in the class asleep.
You had your head on Heeseung’s lap, your body sprawled along the cold tiled floor of Mr. Jeon’s class.
“How long have I been out?” You ask groggily, trying to squint at the dark clock on the wall.
“Just two hours.” Heeseung sighs. “The growling stopped for a bit. It’s eleven now. You should sleep more.”
You shake your head, disagreeing. “No Seung, you should sleep. I could watch over for a bit with Hanbin and Haruto.”
Heeseung bites his lip, almost as if he was really debating whether or not he should be sleeping right now.
“Seung, please. You need your energy.”
Heeseung agrees hesitantly, letting you switch places so now his head was on your lap.
“Goodnight Hee.” You say, placing a tender kiss on his forehead.
He smiles back at you, closing his eyes as he let sleep consume him.
Your eyes search around the room, focusing on Kyungmi and Eunwoo sleeping on one another.
Before you were too distraught to care about them two, but now that everything was calm, you really took in the situation.
Ryujin’s words rang in your ear like a mantra. Eunwoo liked Kyungmi for over a year now.
Does that mean.. ?
No, it couldn’t. You knew Ha Kyungmi. She was a sweet girl to you for the most part, she wouldn’t do that to your cousin.
Would she?
“They’re here.” You hear Hanbin whispering. His voice was filled with dread and fear, and your worst suspicions were true.
The zombies had reached your classroom.
“EVERYBODY! UP!” Haruto yells, clumsily turning on the small light that was still working in the room. “WE HAVE TO MOVE! QUICK!”
Heeseung wakes up with a grunt, his arms automatically reaching for your waist as if it was a natural reflex.
“They’re here?” He asks, squinting a bit at the bright light.
“Yes, let’s wake the others.”
You two start tapping your classmates awake.
“There’s a window we can climb out of.” Hanbin points at the window that was half covered by the cushion you and Heeseung had laid on earlier. “It’s not a big drop so we’ll survive it. It’s our only escape.”
Your classmates all start talking at once, some unsure of Hanbin’s plan.
“We don’t have much time!” Ryujin exclaims. “Quick! Climb out!”
A few of your classmates help each other get out of the window carefully, cheering silently when it works successfully.
“I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold them off.” Haruto says, the desks being pushed out by the bangs of the zombies on the door.
“Kyungmi! Let’s go!” Eunwoo grabs the girl’s hand, pulling her towards the window.
“Eunwoo—but—Y/N?!” She turns to face you, who was currently helping the boys hold the door against the zombies. “Y/N!”
“Just go Kyungmi!” You yell, watching as Eunwoo helps her get out first.
“We’re going to have to let go and make a swift run for it,” Hanbin says to the three of you. “A broken arm or leg will be better than dying at the hands of these creatures.”
Haruto closes his eyes, nodding slowly at his friend’s words. “On a count of three.”
“One.”
“Two.”
“Three!”
The four of you let go, the zombies automatically piling into the room as soon as you do.
Haruto and Hanbin are quick, climbing out and jumping onto the ground in a swift second.
“Cmon Heeseung! Y/N!”
Heeseung climbs out first, foot barely making it out the window before one of the zombies have got you.
“Y/N!” He screams, hands gripping onto the window as he tries to reach for you.
“Heeseung! It’s not worth it!” Kyungmi shouts, “they’ve already got her, she’s gonna die anyway, it’s not worth it.”
Heeseung’s vision goes red at this. “I don’t fucking care Kyungmi! Unlike you, I actually love my girlfriend to death and would do anything for her!”
His words have her cowering in embarrassment, Eunwoo wrapping a protective arm around her.
“Yah you fucker!” Eunwoo yells. “You want to be with your girlfriend so badly? Then die!”
He and Kyungmi run off to find shelter, the only two who were left were Hanbin and Haruto.
They were silently begging Heeseung to drop it with their eyes, telling them that it wasn’t worth it.
“Cmon Heeseung man,” Haruto says croakily. “You’ll die.”
“Then I’ll die with her.” Heeseung whispers. He watches as one of the zombies bite you, making you scream out in pain.
The zombies all make their way to another classroom when they realize you’re the only one, and since you’ve already been bitten, you were no longer desirable to them.
Despite knowing he would most likely die if he did it, Heeseung climbs back into the room, pulling you into his arms as he did many times before.
“Hey, hey.” He chokes up as he pulls you closer. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s—okay.” You reassure him, eyes slowly turning red as your twitching hands come up to touch his jaw. “Will you sing to me Heeseung?”
You had always joked before that Heeseung would become a famous singer in the future, his beautiful voice entrancing you whenever he’d sing or hum a song.
“Of course.” He gulps, eyes becoming blurry from the tears as each second pasts.
“The monster’s gone, he’s on the run, and your boyfriend’s here.” Heeseung’s lips tremble, unable to hold in his emotions any longer. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl.”
He holds you in his arms despite your twitching body, knowing any second you would turn into one of them. He watches as the light from your eyes disappear, and your skin turns green and veiny.
Lee Heeseung doesn’t cry a lot. He believed that crying wasn’t going to fix anything.
But as he watched the Y/N he loved disappear from his arms despite being physically there, he sobs and sobs. Despite knowing it won’t do anything, he pulls your body onto his, hands on the back of your head as he begs the world to silently bring you back.
What your cameraroll looks like if you're dating Bang Chan
and if I combust then what
GOOD MORNING
PAIRING: park jongseong x gn!reader
SUMMARY: spending a night at your idol boyfriend’s dorm was surely amazing but waking up next to him was even better.
GENRE: FLUFF😖 YOUR HONOUR THIS DRABBLE IS EXTREMELY ADORABLE😭 also jake is being salty as fuck bc you two woke him up and the poor baby is tired :(( belift let the boys have a good rest tyvm.
WARNING: mentioned ‘sex’ like once as a joke
NOTE: all I can say is…THIS IS MAKING ME WANT A BOYFRIEND👹 IM SO SINGLE TF
“jongseong~” you slurred out. your boyfriend giddily smiles. maybe drinking wine wasn’t a smart move since you had to go home. to be fair, you only drank because your boyfriend had just came back from tour. he was also the one who suggested drinking wine since he mentioned how it suits him more as compared to beer or soju.
your head rests on his shoulders.
Keep reading
He looks so bf omg
﹙ ✉️ ﹚ ──HAIRCUT. in which 𝗃𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝖾𝗌𝗇’𝗍 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗁𝖺𝗂𝗋.
엔하이픈 제이크 ⠀ ノ⠀ female reader 5OO non-idol au fluff established relationship ⠀⎯⠀⠀ not proof-read skinship kissing ⠀， recueil . . .
a/n. because i love every hair style that jake does ♥︎
jake doesn’t think you are doing it right. he knows you have never been an haircut master nor approached a pair of scissors this close to anyone’s hair — maybe he should be much more understanding with you or scared for his hair. it’s not as if he can really blame you, anyway, he is the one that begged you to cut his hair. but, you are just not doing it right.
as he looks at you, insistently, your serious and focused expression is a barrier to the thought he is trying to share to you telepathically. you barely budge when he puts his hands on your hips. he ends up opting for words, “you are not doing it right,”
you huff, still leaning towards him as you halt in your moves. your eyes meet his, “and what exactly is ‘right’?”
jake fakes a thinking process; pursing his lips and looking up at the ceiling. a soft hum even escapes from his sealed lips and you patiently wait for him to respond to your question. he pulls you closer as he dramatically acts. you stumble over his laps and turn out sitting on it soon enough. you almost make him blind when the scissors in your hand, that are falling on his shoulder, brushes his eyes — and almost cuts his hair in a totally not straight line, but he doesn’t care that much.
“just like this,” he tells you, a content smile toying on his mouth.
you tilt you head to the side in amusement, “you know this won’t help much, right?” you ask and jake is already half way to your mouth. he gives you a kiss, that you gladly return without any hesitation. you are the first one to pull away. before his lips touches yours again, you are quick to affirm; “the chances that i mess up your hair just got so high.”
they were already pretty high before, my love, he thinks. however, instead he says;
“i don’t care,” he whispers against your mouth. he hums, in satisfaction this time, when he kisses you once again, “i would go bald if that means that i can have you sitting on my laps.”
he should have guessed what image was going to flash through your closed eyes. he already knows what is coming when you start to smile against his mouth; he wishes he wasn’t that funny.
your giggles contaminate him. both of your foreheads collide, your noses brushes, your chuckles transform into a chorus of harmonized laughter. jake tries to protest, a weak ‘no’ escaping form him throat as he looks at your lips. he wants to go back to kissing you, but your chuckles are as pretty as a piece of art, if not more. and his heart is too full of you to not laugh with you.
his hair can stay this way, he doesn’t care. he never wants this moment to stop.
ㅤㅤ𓈒ㅤㅤ𓈒 taglist open ⎯⎯ click
this is so cutee ><
Serving Looks (ENHYPEN's Sunghoon)
Pairing: ENHYPEN's Park Sunghoon x Fem reader! (featuring Jake and Jay) Tags: fluff, strangers, collegeAU, confident yet not so confident Sunghoon, Barista!Hoon Blurb: Y/N finds herself at a cafe day after day spending her non-existent money just to give herself an excuse to keep staring at the cute barista. Sunghoon finally calls her out one day and she disappears for a while making Sunghoon concerned if his comments were too much. Word Count: ~1617
Y/N's face was blushing as the server brought over her order. She held her breath, trying not to say or do anything weird. Despite being a broke college student, she found herself for three weeks straight at a local cafe close to campus, allocating her her non-existent funds to order a medium iced americano with a slice of tiramisu just to interact with the server there.
The first time she came in was when she was trying to find a quiet place besides her apartment to get work done. She had a big project coming up that counted for 30% of her final grade. She struggled to get it done despite having all the resources she needed as her bed kept calling her name. Her three months to complete the project became two as she found herself in her bed, surrounded by the comfort of her bedroom. She collected herself after a check in with her professor who told her that at this rate, she was going to fail the class. She decided right then and there to get started. She found a small cafe off campus as the on campus cafes were always busy and loud.
When she entered the cafe, she sighed in relief when she saw that the cafe was practically empty. She situated herself in the corner of the cafe and went up to look at the menu when she saw the most beautiful face she’s ever seen on a person. He gave her a soft smile, greeting her sweetly.
“Ah, sorry about that. Welcome to Cafe de Park. What can I get started for you?” He asked
Y/N blushed as she stuttered out her order, “Oh, uuhmm… It’s okay. It’s my first time here so I was still taking in the menu.”
He smiles and nods, “That’s great. My name is Sunghoon. Just call for me when you’re ready to order.”
She nods as she watches him walk back into the kitchen. She lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding as she squished her face. She looks back up, deciding to get some coffee to keep her up and some sweets to fill her stomach. She contemplated calling out for Sunghoon before deciding to do so.
“Uhm, Sunghoon-sis? I’m ready to order now.” She says timidly.
Sunghoon’s pokes his head out and smiles, “Alright. Give me one second and I’ll be out.”
Y/N nods as she waits for him to come out. She placed her order paying for the items when he asked her if she wanted to join their loyalty program. After ten visits, their guests could get a voucher for anything in the cafe worth $15 and less. Y/N nervously agrees to join as she wasn't sure if she would find herself back here that often. He smiles as he gets her information.
“Email?” He asked
Y/N gave him her university email, “YN1202@/koreauni.org”
He smiles at her brightly, “You also attend Korea University? What department?”
She smiles in return, “I’m a first year in the Sports Medicine Department.”
Sunghoon gasps, “Really? I’m a second year in the Broadcasting Department on an athletic scholarship. I guess I’ll see you often then.” Y/N blushes and nods as he finishes taking the rest of her information.
That’s how she found herself three weeks straight, ordering the same old things and Sunghoon personally bringing her order to her table. Each time he’d flash his sweet smile, telling her to enjoy and Y/N would return a shy smile and timid head nod. She’d quietly enjoy her drink and slice of cake, finishing her project while sneaking in a look of Sunghoon cleaning, prepping or talking to his equally handsome co-workers, Jake, an upperclassman of the Sports Medicine Department on a soccer scholarship, and Jay, a sophomore of Business and Economics Department.
Y/N was really making headway with her project, with only the presentation portion left to do. She was quietly working and looked up as she felt eyes on her. When she looked up, she saw that Sunghoon was leaning on the counter looking at her. She blushed as she looked away and dipped her head down into her work. She heard a stifled laugh coming from Sunghoon and her face grew hotter. A few minutes later, she feels a presence at her table. She looks up and it’s Sunghoon giving her another slice of their delicious tiramisu cake.
“Oh, I didn’t-“
He smiles sweetly, “It’s on the house.”
Y/N smiles and nods, thanking him for the cake. He places it on the table and takes her first plate that was empty. She continues to work but sees him still standing there. She nervously turns to look at him and he smiles down at her. She smiles back confusingly when he finally opens his mouth.
“You know… you don’t have to sneak glances at me. If you take a picture it’ll last longer.” Sunghoon said confidently.
Y/N's face heats up and she can feel her face getting red. She tries to say something in response as he smirks, sending a wink her way and turns back to go back into the kitchen. Y/N quietly finishes her work that night without spearing a look his way.
After that encounter, Y/N stopped showing up to the cafe. Sunghoon thought that the first day after she was just embarrassed but one day led to two days and two days led to two weeks. He sighed loudly as he wiped down tables.
“Sunghoon. If you’re that concerned just go look for her.” Jay said from behind the cash register
Sunghoon shot him and gave Jake a look. The two rolled their eyes and went back to work.
“All we said was that she was staring at you. We didn’t tell you to go and do what you did.” Jake said
Sunghoon sighed. Jay and Jake had told him that Y/N was always staring at him, her eyes lingering on his tall frame as he moved around the cafe. That she would be engrossed in her work but would stop and stare at him almost longingly. Sunghoon had meant to just tease the girl but he didn’t realize that in doing so she would disappear.
“She gets out of Professor Park’s Body Theory class on Friday at 11:40AM. I always see her leaving that room.” Jake says
Sunghoon doesn’t say anything but his two friends know what he's about to do.
Sunghoon finds himself waiting by the entrance of the Science building that Friday. He came 30 minutes early just to make sure he didn’t miss her. He looks down at his watch, the time reflecting 11:46AM. He sighs to himself thinking he missed her but he sees a familiar frame exiting the building. He smiles to himself as he runs up to her calling her name.
“Y/N!” He yells out making everyone turn to look at him
Y/N turns and gives him a look of surprise as he runs up to her, stopping right in front of her. He sighs and smiles as he is able to find her. She smiles in return and looks around making sure he wasn’t calling someone else.
“Hey.” She said timidly
Sunghoon smiles, “Hey.”
They awkwardly stand there before Boa breaks the silence, “So what’s up? How did you know I had this class or where I had class?”
Sunghoon nervously looks around as he rubs his neck. He decides to not answer that.
“Uhm, where have you been? Was it because of what I said two weeks ago? Look, sorry for that. It’s just that Jay and Jak-“
“Sunghoon.” she cuts off his rambling, “I’ve been working on a final project and had to meet with my professor. They’ve been making me present to other classes and the sports department heads.”
Sunghoon gives her a blank look as he looks away and runs a hand through his hair. He sighs and looks at her again, “I thought that I took what I said too far so you stopped showing up.”
Y/N smiles and Sunghoon feels his heart start to beat a little faster as she has an air of newfound confidence surrounding her.
“Sunghoon, were you worried about me or something?” She asked
Sunghoon blushes and sputters, “No! I mean- I was worried that you might think I’m an asshole or something.”
She giggles behind a hand, “No, I don’t think you’re an asshole. If anything I think you’re right, a photo would last longer but I prefer to see you with my own eyes.”
Sunghoon blushes at how forward she was compared to their last encounter. He looked around making sure that she was talking to him, rubbing his neck, chuckling softly as he struggled to say something. Y/N laughs as she looks at him.
“Hey, what are you doing after this?” she asked
Sunghoon collects himself and thinks, “Uhm, Jake asked me to take his shift tonight but besides that nothing. Why?”
She smiles at him sweetly, “Want to get lunch together? My treat since you’re always giving a slice of the tiramisu.”
Sunghoon choked on his breath as he scrambled to answer, “Yes! Lunch. Let’s get lunch.”
Y/N smiles as she walks off leaving a nervous and flustered Sunghoon standing there. She turns back to look at him before smiling at him, “Sunghoon. Let’s go get lunch.”
Sunghoon smiles and runs over to her to catch up to her. He awkwardly stands next to her as they walk side by side to get lunch, a swirl of romance in the air between the two.
END
**Thanks for reading this far. This is my first published post on here. Please let me know your thoughts!
Happy New Year to me and my lonely ass
𝐎𝐮𝐫𝐬
☆ Genre: Fluff, slice of life
☆ Warnings: None
☆ Request: No
☆ Characters: Chan, Y/N
☆ Word Count: 1.6k
It was quiet inside of the car.
Uncharacteristically quiet.
Bar the sudden downpour of rain that escaped from the late night sky and fell upon the vehicle in a steady battering, all passengers in the car were either fighting to stay awake as their eyes drooped, or were already asleep, their heads pressed against the cold windows. Blankets were strewn over them all, and heating pooled from the seats in slow, steady waves. The group of friends were completely and utterly exhausted; they had spent their day coaxing out their inner children as they wrecked havoc in a theme park far, far away from their homes. Awake at a golden dawn, they had long passed the violet hues of dusk, and it seemed they would witness another dawn before they made it home.
It was so dark inside the car that Y/N could barely see her own hands in front of her. If it wasn't for the faint light spilling onto Minho's lap from his phone, Y/N wouldn't have been able to differentiate him from Felix who was slumped beside him, either. They were amongst the rows of seats in front of her; Chan was sat beside her, Changbin on his other side. Chan had insisted he sit in the middle. As much as he loved sitting by the window, he would much rather have his friends sit by them instead.
Y/N traced her finger over the window, following the path of a fat raindrop that danced over the glass. Her touch left a path in the condemnation and opened a clear line that illuminated the deep darkness outside. She moved her face closer to the window slightly despite shivering at the wet on her fingers. Y/N's eyes widened in mild awe at the colours of the night, the reds and yellows and oranges of the lights that flashed by her, the way they seemed to melt into the roads as rain created ripples over the gravel. It was a sight that Y/N would never get tired of, and she was completely unaware when Chan swivelled his gaze to her, watching her quietly.
The car soon rolled to a halt. It bumped forward every now and then; Y/N moved her gaze to the front of the car. There was a long line of cars in front and she sighed quietly, leaning back into her seat again, suddenly seeking the comfort of the heat at her back.
Y/N looked to her side. Changbin's face was smushed against the glass of the window and the shape of his lips was pursed extravagantly, giving him the appearance of a rather glamorous duck as the car passed a set of tall lights.
Stifling a giggle at the sight of him, Y/N peered up at Chan. The man in question had his head back against the seat, the small sliver of his irises that escaped from his narrowed eyes shining under the shadows. His shoulder pressed up against Y/N's in a way that ensured a fire-like feeling to seep into the thick fabric of her sweater and through her skin. It was the sort of feeling she couldn't ignore either, her cheeks sporting a permanent flush and her breathing hosting a continuous hitch. It was as though she was hyper aware of his presence; from the way his heavy boot was aligned with the rim of her own shoe, to the way his breathing had slowed down with fatigue, and the way the faded cologne on his jacket kissed her nose in a deep, vanilla kiss.
Y/N swallowed thickly. She wasn't sure she ever wanted the journey to end if it meant she got to be this close to him. With the rest of the car asleep, in Y/N's mind it felt as though it was just the two of them, the night belonging to them and them only.
Chan turned his head towards Y/N once he felt her gaze on him. Y/N was able to make out the way his lips curved up into the softest of tired smiles before he leaned a little closer to her. He stirred the air around her and infiltrated it further with his scent accompanied with his body heat, and Y/N felt her heart flutter.
“What?” Chan whispered.
Y/N nodded towards Changbin. “Look at his face.”
Chan turned to look at his friend. He soon covered the lower portion of his face with a hand to muffle the laughter that caused his body to shake.
“Do you think it's painful?” Chan chuckled under his breath. “I don't want to move him … he might wake up.”
Y/N leaned forward a little to peer at Changbin again. “I think he'll be fine. There's a pillow under his neck.”
Chan looked towards Changbin again. He smiled. “Oh. You're right.”
They fell into quietude again, Y/N's eyes drooping ever so slightly as she peered out of the window. A yawn rose inside her and her nostrils flared in her attempt to stifle in it, her face contorting.
Chan started to laugh again. Y/N whipped her head to the side in alarm, her eyes landing on the crooked smile and pair of uneven dimples that adorned the angles of Chan's face.
“Tired?” Chan hummed.
Y/N wrinkled her nose. “Don't laugh at me. You look like a panda yourself with those rings around your eyes.”
Her comment only made Chan's smile deepen. She blinked. She was sure there was a tinge of burgundy painted across the tip of his nose and the ridges of his ears.
“Go to sleep,” Chan whispered. “I'll go to sleep if you go to sleep.”
“Why? So we can meet in our dreams too?” Y/N joked. She hoped her bad humour would mask the tremor in her voice that always seemed to occur when he looked into her eyes the way he was now.
Biting his lip, Chan's voice was even lower when he spoke again. “Well … maybe?”
Y/N's eyes widened. She stared at him but Chan had turned his head again; he was looking out of Changbin's window, and Y/N turned to look out of hers as her heart started to race.
A moment later, Chan shifted his position. He shuffled down the seat a little and Y/N turned to look at him just as he turned his gaze onto her.
“You can lean on my shoulder if you want,” Chan murmured. “It's not the most comfortable shoulder ever … but it might be better than the window.”
Swallowing slowly, Y/N moved her eyes from his face to his shoulder. He was wearing a soft knit sweater, and the fabric draped in gentle folds around his arm. It had dropped slightly to one side, and tiny moles kissed his skin like dark stars. She could feel the heat rolling off of him from here, sweet, heavy, and increasingly intoxicating.
Y/N wanted nothing more than to rest her head against Chan's shoulder. She also couldn't bring herself to, nerves bubbling inside of her that only seemed to grow with every second that Chan watched her with his soft eyes.
“I don't mind,” Chan hummed again. He moved his shoulder a little almost in invitation, and Y/N couldn't help but smile. “You'll feel better.”
“My head is heavy,” Y/N said.
Chan smiled. He responded by leaning closer to her and used his opposite hand to pat the slope of his shoulder twice as he looked ahead of him.
Y/N exhaled quietly. She then let her head dip to the side a little; once she was half way towards his shoulder, she sat back up again, suddenly nervous.
Chan started to chuckle. “Just lie down.”
“Okay, okay … “ Y/N's breath shuddered before she lowered the side of her head again.
His sweater was soft against Y/N's cheek, and his scent stronger and sweeter against the side of his neck. She felt him shift ever so slightly again, and the slope of Chan's shoulder almost moulded to the side of Y/N's head perfectly. Her cheeks felt like they were burning and as if her skin was dissolving into stardust. She didn't realise she was holding her breath as she looked towards her hands resting on her lap.
From the corner of her eye, Y/N saw Chan's hand twitch. He moved it towards her and then stopped, his fingers curling into a loose fist before unfurling again. As Y/N watched in a trance-like state, Chan inched his fingers towards her. His pinky finger brushed Y/N's ever so slightly. Y/N froze at the contact, her eyes widening when Chan's fingers moved even closer. He caressed her fingertips with hers before sliding his fingers into the gaps of hers; his hand was trembling against the palm of Y/N's, and Y/N finally exhaled slowly as she comprehended what just happened.
She turned her head to look up at him. The man's skin was a deep crimson, his bottom lip caught in-between his teeth. He wouldn't look at her, shyness trickling from his eyes like falling stars as he shut them slowly. His own body melted under Y/N, almost as though he let go of a breath he had been holding in too.
Y/N smiled slowly. She dropped her head against his shoulder again and carefully folded her fingers around Chan's. Their hands fit perfectly together like puzzle pieces, the grain of Chan's palms slightly calloused and rough, but strangely soft nonetheless. It was a reassuring feeling against Y/N's hand, and when Y/N felt Chan's cheek fall against the top of her head, she couldn't help but clench her eyes shut with joy. Perhaps her mind hadn't been wrong after all. Perhaps this moment really was theirs, and theirs alone.
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