Saw Someone Else Doing Their Thorin Headcanons So Here Are My Bilbo Ones:

Saw someone else doing their Thorin headcanons so here are my Bilbo ones:

-Bilbo treats fili and kili like they’re children, this pleased thorin very much as he also sees them as wee pebbles

-Bilbo scolds all the young members of the party and they all stand there with their heads down mumbling apologies

-Thorin is mildy disturbed by the power Bilbo wields and often wonders how someone so paternal is not yet a father

-when the party finds out Bilbos actual age the entire party dynamic implodes for about three hours while they try to figure who this adult looking baby is on a quest with them and why Gandalf would do this to a child.

-Bilbo has to stand on a rock and explain to them that he is nearing in middle aged and is in fact a very respectable adult hobbit and not a dwarven child

-Kili starts calling Bilbo ‘baby boggins’ but when Bilbo catches him he very quickly rescinds this nickname for the sake of his ears while Bilbo will often pinch when he acts up.

-Bilbo brushed Fili and Kilis hair regularly, especially right before they arrive in any town or settlement (He’s pretty sure Kíli hissed at him once tho)

-Bilbo consoles Kili who is, by dwarven standards a wee bit of an uggo that his is very attractive by human standards and he shouldn’t feel bad, stating that is he were more clean shaven and cut his hair he would make a handsome hobbit (Thorin is appalled and begs his stupid impressionable nephew to not cut his hair)

-Fili likes Bilbo brushing his hair, unlike kili and often closes his eyes and has a little nap while the hobbit works

-Bilbo is confused why he can’t rebraid the boys hair, stating he used to braid his female friends hair when he was a sprout and the whole company is appalled that their sweet hobbit is such a scandalous little thing, courting so many women