After Literal Years I've Finally Remembered I Have This Blog. Rereading My Old Work Was Actually Really

Asmodeus (Obey Me)

Fluff:

Affection Headcannons

Smut:

Soulmate AU:

First Meeting

Incorrect Quote 49/50

MC, texting Satan about a book they just read: A theif.

Satan, tired on drinking his fifth coffee: Thief?

Mc: Theif.

Satan: I before E except after C.

MC: Thceif.

Satan: No.

Incorrect Quote 10/50

MC: Here you are Lucifer, nice hot cup of coffee.

Lucifer: Oh, it's cold.

MC: Nice cup of coffee.

Lucifer: It's horrible!

MC: Cup of coffee.

Lucifer: I'm not even sure this is coffee.

MC: Cup.

Lucifer, Mammon and Beel flying somewhere in the human world, late on a REALLY cloudy night

Lucifer: Everyone ok back there?!

Mammon: Just about!! Can't see a fuckin thing!

Beel: I'm good!!

Lucifer: Good! We'll be arriving soon!

(A few minutes later)

Mammon: What the fuck is that noise?!

(Suddenly a plane pushes through the clouds, startling them)

Lucifer: *quickly shoots off to the side*

Beel: *does the same*

Mammon: *slams into the front window like a bug*

The pilots: *scream*

Mammon: *screams*

~

Incorrect Quotes 40/50

Satan: *sharp intake of breath* you young homosapien with X Y chromosomes

Solomon, not used to this: What?

MC, whispering: He's saying "BOI" but in scientific terms

Incorrect Quote 29/50

Lucifer: Wait, are you flirting with me?

Diavolo: Have been for the past century, but thanks for noticing.

Incorrect Quote 30/50

MC: Luke, my god, you've grown!

Luke: Actually, don't tell the others but I'm wearing high heeled sneakers.

MC: You what now-

MC inwardly: Where can I get a pair

Incorrect Quote 37/50

Simeon: Luke there are three ways to do things in the kitchen: the right way, the wrong way, and the Solomon way.

Luke: Isn't that just the wrong way?

Simeon: Yes, but it's faster.

Looks like an archangel blade from supernatural-

i really don't understand the expression "a double-edged sword" because you get double the sword? that's like, the opposite of a problem???

Incorrect Quote 32/50

Belphegor: Since it's impossible to know which part of my life is the middle

Belphegor: I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.