"What Cannot Be Said Will Be Wept"

“Have you ever sat there, looking into space and feeling a tight grip wrapped around your heart, it’s squeezing and squeezing not allowing you to breathe and slowly slowly you start to feel the tears fall down, and one after another the fits start to happen and you just can’t stop it. It hurts so bad it’s indescribable. People say love hurts, but that words used are so vague, “love hurts”, no love kills, and it doesn’t just take your breath away it takes away a piece of you, making you feel fragmented, shattering you into small different pieces where you can’t even get yourself back up on track again. That is what love is. Not the holding hands, forehead kisses. It’s the feeling you feel when you break down into a million pieces. It’s when you can feel your heart shatter against your rib cage. It’s murder. That is love.”

i am tired and uninspired

i am used batteries

i am talent-less i am stale

i am a book thats been read and now sits on the shelf

i am a broken guitar string

i am useless

i am invisible

everyday i feel like i’m at war with the world

some days i feel like im standing on the tallest mountain,

screaming at the top of my lungs

”look at me, please, look at me“

if loneliness ever needed a defention,

it‘d be me

i see countless faces everyday

but do they see me? NO!

i am alone

i am invisible

all i wanna do is help other people like me

i wanna hold you and kiss your scars

and say ”i swear to god it‘ll be okay“

not today, but one day

one day, you‘ll wake up and smile for no damn reason

but today, we can cry

today we can be invisible.

invisible by dandelion hands

Why do humans need companionship?

Why can't be satisfied by being alone with ourselves?

Humans are known to be social beings,and no matter how much we may love our alone-time,we will always choose,with such alacrity even,to spend some of our time with someone whom we deem worthy of being around us.

It is an inexorable truth,which no matter how strongly you are opposed to,will show itself to you some time or another.

It is surely up to you whether to understand it or not,but there will come a time when your good intentions aimed at protecting yourself will backlash.

At that point in time there will be no one to turn to,all your choices will pour down on you and you will see no path ahead of you.

After realizing what companionship means to you,everything will become undeniably stressful.

Is it because of fear?Do you just not know how human interactions unravel anymore?Or what is it?

Usually it would be wise to let go of such feelings by interrupting the friendship causing them,however that is not the case in such a context.

At this point in time you only have one option:try not putting this companionship ahead of everything else,instead just hold it dear to you.Hopefully everything will be set in motion once again.

INTJs doomed by design?

stlsrr submitted: Hello, Harsh title i know, but its the best to describe what im about to express.  Its not long ago i found out about my INTJ character, though to my surprise it explained a lot!  The way i acted and reacted to specific situations, my love for solitude,  not much talking etc… you probably are aware of these things. But its the first time I was justified by knowing that. The reason was  simply, that when you are the ONLY one to act differently (not akward) and EVERY single person you know to judge  you and turn against what you are you begin to doubt your self and your ways. Though that is very painful  thing to do because deep in you you know you are acting in a “correct” way that asides morality and happines of your self. INTJs love to have it rough, indeed we adore challenge, but this is something way different.  Despite i dont wish to write about me self rather to express my ideas i have to say that my life the past few years been … lets just say not to pretty.  Both my actions and my luck costed me and made me lose a lot.  Thought that’s one of my biggest debates as an INTJ.  Did i brought it upon my self or just people behaviors did? In other words cant an INTJ ever avoid this presure about their “inner be”   I havent met any other INTJ , the closest i got is an ENTJ ( a Godsent gift!!!) , and because of that i havent the slightest idea  how other INTJs deal with their lives.  Me , as an INTJ tend to have most of the characterists that make a person of that temperament to be jugded as wierd, loner, sarcastic, selfish and many more, but i Never let that to take me down.  There were many times i trully wanted to give in my nature and be sarcastic, snobbish, through my ingenius ways i could be extremly evil and revengeful. But i withhold my self. Due to my  evolved  sensing and feeling  I wanted to like people, to respect, appreciate and accept them for what they are. I was by their side in their darkest hours, i was always looking for the goodness in them… 

I’m not sure if that was a mistake but defently people never apreciated the efford  and value i gave em.   I never asked and gotten nothing in return rather a cold and unfair behavior by them.  I dont know what caused that and i dont know who to blame, but i all  know is that it made me more cold and less expressive. After two years of extreme conditions i was tired to withhold over and over again and again…  I wasnt aware of how i could reacted through a very negative perspective on life.  Long story short very outraging. I started to defend my self againt others will to change me.  Are INTJs so … violent as in terms of self preservation ? That time i figured that not only people were afraid of me and started to respect me but as well i met my capabilities, something that made me afraid of living through a negative side. So my points out of all the above are:  Do INTJs have it rough in their lives? and if so how should they react? Respect towrds others? Or their selves?  ( I believe both isnt an acceptable anwser as we are people of edges, the is no shades of grey in our lives, just black and white)  Should an INTJ show compassion and patience for what  people are or simply people brought it to them selves (Our reaction to their actions)?  For the same as we INTJs want to be accepted as we are ,  i believe we should show some but… im out of alternatives, they just dont accept us.  And as the title suggest are INTJs doomed by design?  How can a person thats destined to see and fix mistakes to ever find peace and happiness in such a flawed world?   Thanks for reading and thanks for any kind of reply. 

2021/12/01

Maybe it's time to take a step back.

All I've built does not sit right with me anymore.

Everything I believed to be one of my key truths isn't actually what it should have been.

It made everything seem like a transient moment.

That's why I feel so lost.

I couldn't fathom this realization,my mind was keeping it from me until I was ready to welcome and accept it.

It is considerably unalike the way it felt years ago.

I feel void but so full and overwhelmed by my emotions.

My emotions.How strange it sounds to be able to openly display them both to my own self snd to others.

It makes me proud.

~

There's also hurt in there.

I can't shake this overwhelming flow of emotions that is burning within me.

I wouldn't give it up for anything in this world,neverthless I feel powerless.

I am supposed to start anew.How is that supposed to be done?

Am I still the person I believe I am?

Is there more that wants to come out of its abyss?

She

I used to hate that word

Something alien would gripe at my throat.

I would choke on it, eyes burning

Now

that I think of it, I am not as bitter.

She

Is a world away from myself and

I get dizzy sometimes,

Looking at my feet.

I am at peace with her, and I feel

A familiar bond

She was me for a while, after all.

She

And I are friends

I am walking on a road

I made for myself

And she holds my hand, a comforting presence.

She

Will always be there

And now, I understand myself better.

I will never be her

Yet I feel no pain for having been mistaken,

For she is my better friend

- She, M

damn baby you are beyond mortal comprehension, wanna make me insane?

““When I ask you about your first love I am always secretly hoping that you will say your own name. Now, wouldn’t that be beautiful – to above else have a heart that was proud of itself.” - Bianca Sparacino”

—

02/13/2021

I feel so relatably lonely.

Surrounded by others,I’m able to laugh and have fun,yet I’m so alone.

Truly,deeply,alone.

That was it all along.Loneliness.

Craving for a soul that matches your own.

Yearning for somebody that makes you feel right.

Longing for a meaningful connection to someone.

Silence feels so foreign to the point that i can’t breathe in it.

It’s helplessly eating me alive.

I want so much to happen just to fill this void i have inside of me.

Oh.It feels so compelling.Numbness seems a divine state of being right this moment.

How good would it be to be back to the old me?

Too much.And yet nothing at all.

Who am I in this life?

Who am I in this moment?

What am I supposed to be living for?

“You’re going to love it.

You’re going to love the you that has always wanted to be you.”

Right?

I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

————————————————————————————-

Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like. 

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues; 

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood. 

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively. 

 Uncomfortable with silence; 

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic. 

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety; 

-How to stop worrying. 

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques. 

-Self-help strategies for anxiety. 

-Helping a friend with anxiety. 

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety. 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management. 

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness; 

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness. 

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness. 

-How to deal with loneliness.

 Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.  

Addiction; 

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

 Eating disorders; 

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments. 

-Support services for eating disorders. 

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery. 

-Recovering from an eating disorder. 

-100+ reasons to recover. 

-Understanding and managing eating disorders. 

 Dealing with self-hatred;  

-3 ways to ease self-loathing. 

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate. 

 Suicidal; 

-International suicide hotlines (1)  (2)

-Preventing suicide. 

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.  

 Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.  

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.  

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.  

-Delusions and hallucinations.  

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home. 

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD. 

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments. 

Borderline personality disorder; 

-Helping someone with BPD. 

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse; 

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships. 

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse. 

-Hotlines services. 

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship. 

-Domestic violence support. 

-Signs of an abusive relationship. 

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship. 

-Surviving abuse. 

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed. 

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. 

 Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you. 

 Loss and grief; 

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger. 

-Common reactions to death. 

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family. 

-Coping with a breakup.

 Getting help; 

-Seeking help early. 

-All about psychological treatments. 

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality. 

Things you need to remember; 

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 

-You are not alone. 

-You are enough. 

-You are important. 

-You are worth it. 

-You are strong. 

-You are not a failure, 

-Good people exist. 

-Reaching out shows strength. 

-Breathe. 

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 

-Give yourself credit. 

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 

-Focus on the things you can change. 

-Let go of toxic people. 

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 

-Try not to beat yourself up. 

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance. 

-You are smart. 

-You are loved. 

-You are wanted. 

-You are needed. 

-Better days are coming. 

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 

-You have more potential than you think. 

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x