Just Broke Up With My Therapist 😔 Found Out She Was Seeing Other People

you can call me an phone on silent mode because i get shaky when given too much attention

how dare you make it harder for me to hate myself

if i get bored from doing the same thing for an hour (at most), how do you expect me to inhabit a body for several decades???

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

i think the problem is that i forgive people before i even let myself be angry at them

don't give up

tumblr is for putting your stuff somewhere that's not secret but also not for anyone particular to see so it's true neutral in a really nice way

When Morticia Addams said, "Life’s not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know," and, "Hearts are wild creatures, that’s why our ribs are cages."