Be Me

hey americans there is a recall on testosterone gel because they found benzene in it! please check the lot numbers on your batches, benzene is really not something you want to be rubbing into your skin, also you might be eligible for compensation because this is just insane what the fuck

more on this page:

Washington State Local Health Insurance

Drug Recall Report

The Drug Recall Report is for prescription drugs that are have recently been issued recalls by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

Thank you to everyone who got me to 500 likes!

I really appreciate it!! It means a lot, so... Thank you!! I'll keep on posting!!

[Sexually frustrated succubi noises INTENSIFIES]

Julia: H-how about some homemade truffles? I can totally do that! I'll, uh, make a buncha different flavors for y'all to choose from! It'll be a nice way to celebrate! ✨ *murmuring* ...Hopefully my magic doesn't go haywire and I turn all dragon-y again. RIP game controller.💧

Julia: Cor? Averse? Do you have a favorite thing you'd love to eat? I can make y'all a savory dish or something sweet, like a dessert. I recently learned how to make chocolate bars from scratch.

It's a time of celebration, right? So whatever you want to eat, I can make. Y'all deserve a treat.✨

Averse: "i think i wanna eat what your mom made"

*whisper* "...you.."

Cor: "eh, make whatever, surprise us"

I think they would get along-

Collab I did with my good friend @vaguerival

Ink belongs to comyet

Error belongs to loverofpiggies

Warning: tentacle tongue kissing under the cut (I’m sorry)

Transcription:

Classic: uh, we gather here today blah blah blah blah… speak now or forever hold your peace

Fell: yeah actually-

Nightmare: NO NO NO EVERYTHING’S FINE!

Nightmare: Everything’s fine, please continue the ceremony ❤️

Classic: uhm, okay, so anyways…

(1 DAY LATER)

Ink: ITS LIKE YOU NEVER EVEN WANTED A CHILD TO BEGIN WITH! WE’RE OVER!!

Error: FINE! I WANTED A DIVORCE ANYWAYS!

Ink: You… you wanted a divorce too?

Error: uh, yeah?

Ink: It’s…

Error: It’s like…

Both: We were made for each other

Don't Panic

This... This can't be real... Right?

Looking at something so small that made such a big difference in her crappy mundane life. Between her fingers was a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test.

How was this even possible?! She didn't sleep with a human—her first and only time was with a monster! And there have been no records of human and monsters hybrids! How the hell did she get pregnant?! But... Say this was true, that right now, there is a magical monster bun in the oven. That would explain the strange stares from other monsters you get. Monsters can see souls. And the stares were a result from... Well... Something they didn't even think was possible, most likely.

"Shit... I really can't believe this. I'm... Like, legit pregnant. I'm... I'm gonna be a Mom. I... I should try to go to Grillby's. Maybe he can gimme some advice or maybe get in contact with the skeleton monster I was with?"

This wasn't a joke. Not at all. The monster doctor said it and taking 3 at home tests to be sure said it—pregnant. This is... Life now. This meana trying to find a new job and maybe a better place to live so the kid can grow up in a good and safe environment. But for right now, let's go to Grillby's to find info on where Baby Daddy went off to.

After a long shower, Julia threw on some clothes and with the note and black rose in hand, she heads out the door.

—

"You're... Pregnant?"

"Yeah. It, uh... The real deal. Grillby, please don't make that face, I'm trying my best to put on a brave one for my own sake..."

"You're pregnant with a boss monster's child. How is this—?"

"The skeleton monster I met that one night. We, uh, really hit it off and kinda... Had a one night stand situation thing. Eheheh... Grillby, you're making a face—what did I just say, dude?"

"Sorry, it's just... I didn't think Orion would be the type of monster to do that." Grillby sets down the glass and cloth on the bar.

"'Orion'? So that's his name? You know him Grillby?! Where is he? He needs to know this and... And what we should do—the monster doctor said with with pregnancy, both parents need to be present, especially in my case since I'm not a monster and the souling's survival relies on the monster parent providing magic!" Julia couldn't help but raise her voice as she grew more and more anxious. She didn't want to, but was already attached to the little souling. It was as if shd could feel what they felt. Confused. Concerned. Hungry. Tired. Where is Daddy?

"Julia, breathe... Orion is a regular here, but is probably on the job. He makes delieveries here and should be stopping by sometime today. Just sit down for a bit, relax, and I'll make you your usual with some extra magic. It's not much, but enough magic for you and your souling. I'll try to send Orion a message." Grillby guides Julia towards one of the booths to sit down and pats her shoulder before heading into the back.

—

After sometime, Julia lifted her head up immediately when she felt a pressure in the air and suddenly, she wasn't alone in the pub. Over by the bar, sitting or... Rather floating over the bar stool was a skeleton monster. Was... Was this the Orion she met that one night? Had to be. Dressed in that same ultra fluffy but sparkly looking hoodie. Those freckles that looked like pretty nebula, but... Something was... Off. Something felt off. Was this really the same skeleton? His... Eyelights are... Different. His... No, no, this had to be the same monster who rocked her world and knocked her up that night.

No time like the present.

Getting up, Julia makes her way over towards him. Her nerves getting worse as she felt each step she took forward getting heavier. But she has to do this. For her sake and their baby.

"Um. Excuse me. Orion?"

"that's my name, don't wear it out."

"Um do you... Remember me? We, uh, met a while back."

"hmm... nope, don't think so. not too many humans visit this grillby's and i think i'd remember a cute face like yours, kiddo."

...What? No, no, something is way off.

"No? We have met. I remember you distinctly. You tried comforting me when I was crying into my drink that night. We joked around and exchanged a few puns. I mean, yeah, we got kinda shitfaced, but... I remember you. I... You were my first and... And that night we... We had sex. I-I know it was a one night stand, but surely yo—"

"whoa whoa whoa!" Orion looked absolutely stunned and confused. His zygomatic bones flushing a mixture of blue and gold, bringing out his sparkly freckles more. "i-i dunno who you slept with, but i know for sure it wasn't me! i swear! you got me confused for someone else..."

"What?! You're gonna tell me you got a twin or something?"

"... depends on your definition of what a twin is, because that's... heh..." Orion shrugs, sweat already beading and running down his skull.

"..."

With a frustrated groan, she pulls out the note and black rose.

"You left this note and rose for me the morning after remember?! Dude, please...don't be a dick. A little souling's life is on the line here!" Julia snaps, her voice already cracked and tears threatening to start running down her cheeks.

Orion looked over the note and rose before looking at Julia, or rather... The small souling she was carrying before he had a look of shock and nearly slipped off the barstool.

"... n o. there is no way that's possible. you said the skeleton you met that night looked like me? are you sure? nothin felt off?" Orion looked directly at Julia, taking on a serious tone.

"Yes. But... Wait, are you seriously going to tell me it wasn't you?"

"i know it wasn't me—i had to work overtime at my job and make a delivery to underfell's grillby's that night." Orion pulls out his phone and shows his route of deliveries that week.

"What the f... Then... WHO IN THE HELL DID I SLEEP WITH?!" Julia steps back, panicking.

"...i think you just slept with the most dangerous monster in the entire multiverse..."

"Who...?"

"nightmare. the god of negativity." Orion looked very uneasy, and the faint rattling of bones could be heard as he continued. "...but the most concerning thing is that souling. they shouldn't even be here."

"How fucking DARE—"

"no, no! i mean, that souling existing shouldn't be possible because as far as anyone who knows about nightmare... nightmare shouldn't be able to have kids. his corruption makes him infertile. yet, here you are, pregnant with his kid." Orion lets out a nervous chuckle, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here right now.

Julia was stunned. She had to take a moment to just... Collect and absorbed everything that was told to her to try and to understand. And once she did...

She fainted.

[Previous: A Black Rose]

[First: What A Night]

Tumblr

A Black Rose

…My head… …Fuck, it's like someone took a sledge hammer to it… My body is sore all over… …Where the hell am I? This isn't my apartment

We're experiencing some difficulties, so I'd really appreciate the help. Hopefully for the last time.

Apply here:

Google Docs

Nostophobia: Team Applications

We are looking for those who are able to stick to the assigned plan based on your busyness, so both sides are happy! The team consists of 10

If you can't apply, simple reblog would be a great support💖

Presenting… Pastel! She's an old fanchild I made a few years ago—a child made between PaperJam and a female cat monster(name withheld). So I gave her an update and older look so shes in her 20s.

She's good childhood friends with Geno and Palette Roller, but maybe wants… more?

Sometimes, you'll see her casually eating pastel chalks or crayons. Not only do these snackable art supplies balance out our little Kuudere's emotions, but also aids her in battle. Different colors give her different boosted abilities and elemental magic(i.e. red gives her fire based magic).

If you have any questions about or for Pastel, feel free to drop an ask!

✨"Let your dreams guide you!"✨

ahhhh I'm finally done!!! here is my official contribution to @zucchiyeni 's IDOL AU:

Introducing the Star's lead singer: DREAM!!!

here's the ref:

this whole thing took an ungodly amount of time to make lmao thank you for letting me do dream's design! I had a lot of fun figuring it out :D

bonus: dream's reaction to the notes

Dream Sans belongs to JokuBlog the idol au belongs to zucchiyeni

(closeup, static. ver, and draft below the cut)

MORE DRAWS OF POST!SANS, DRAWS VERY VERYYY OLDDDD'S (They are drawings from last year!!)sorry:bbbb

Post!Sans He is a character created exclusively for sending letters and packages, his daily life is based on that, traveling through all the universes to deliver to each sans (only sans, he cannot do it for other monsters). He is someone notoriously tired because he spends all his power to travel through portals, but believe it or not, he enjoys his work a lot! It is very satisfying for him to deliver and make the owners of these happy (depends on who it is lol). He is always cordial to his customers, but can get a bit frustrated at times.

I hope you like this new sans, there is still a lot to show about it!💖🌻