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something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not

:D 🏳️‍🌈🌻🫶

🫵 🩷 ☀️🌷? 🤨🏳️‍🌈

Are you asking if i like Sunny...? I mean......he is pretty.....and he's really nice...and sweet...and his voice is so soft.....his smile is so bright and- oh...am I rambling?

Yall if there are like- Any Sunny kinnies out there to match my Basil-and-Sunny-but-mostly-Basil kinnie, like… feel free to hmu 😔😔😔 /j (unless?)

My theater teacher is the fvcking best; we’re doing nothing but watching SpongeBob the musical in class

(my dad, telling me I need to get my math grade up bc it’s actual sh!t rn) “I need you to rise to the challenge.”

how the fvck am I supposed to rise to the challenge when I can barely rise out of bed in the morning???

Ddlc Monika ramble bc my hyperfixation is coming back and somehow settling alongside my Omori one

Alright so like. I hate how many people treat Monika like she’s pure jealousy and obsession :/ especially given everything she’s gone through. I’d like to make a couple of points here, and analyze some of the lines from her poems (not all) to give more insight into what was going on in her mind. All the poem screenshotted are from FandomWiki, I believe.

The first part of this poem is a direct reference to when Monika gains ‘kernal access’ to her game- or more simply, self awareness. The hole appears a metaphor for a screen- She wasn’t looking into the screen, she was looking out. And the player is looking in. The second part realizing that her friends aren’t even real. She’s starting to see herself as something else than the others. And I don’t think it’s in a narcissistic way- In this case, she IS different now, because she doesn’t have a script that all her actions follow, unlike her friends. The people she cares deeply about aren’t even people; just lines in a script. The part at the end, about her brandishing her pen, is when she starts to edit the script, desperate for a way out.

I’d like to point out first that red, green, and blue are the primary colors when it comes to light- AND the colors of pixels on a screen. I can’t tell what the ‘noise’ she’s referring to exactly is; possibly a reference to anxiety, or existentialism? Most likely, in my opinion, is that it’s the game’s music. See how she compares the noise to a turntable, and a vinyl? That’s a direct connection to the music. And considering that the game’s music plays on loop… That wouldn’t exactly be fun to hear on loop for god knows how long 😬

The version of this poem from Act 2, I can’t see any meaning to the vowels missing, though perhaps someone else has. Generally, this poem just shows Monika’s mental health deteriorating further. Combined with the fully capitalized words, along with “Like playing a vinyl on a pizza crust” suddenly turning into “Like playing a KNIFE on a BREATHING RIBCAGE”- It really does mostly seem like we’re watching Monika go a bit insane. The words “KNIFE” and “BREATHING RIBCAGE” really exaggerate how much the noise really hurts her. (Also, personal comment is that this sounds a lot like overstimulation TvT)

This poem seems to be more metaphorical than the other two. ‘The Lady’ seems to refer to the game’s script- she’s a being who knows everything, knows Monika’s own thoughts and feelings, and she knows everything that can and will happen. Just like the game’s script. The imagery of Monika being a feather on the wind very much gives off the feeling of being helpless, unable to fight against the game’s script. The Lady tells her that there is no meaning, and no purpose- Likely how Monika really does feel. Nothing she does has any impact in the real world. The Lady telling Monika that “We seek only the impossible”- It’s directly telling us what it felt like when Monika learned she was the only character without a route for the player to take. There is no scripted world where Monika finds a happy ending with the player, the person she loves, the only thing she knows is real.

This last poem shows that she really doesn’t mean to hurt anyone. She doesn’t have any real malicious intent towards the other characters. She just wants to be happy.

Those are some thoughts I have on her poems. Something else I’d like to be considered is the fact that Monika knew everything her friends were going to say- including some of the harsher words her friends have used, or even thought about her. Along with the fact that her own friends were seemingly the only thing standing in the way of the player, and she’d just learned her friends weren’t even real.

Generally, I feel like people don’t empathize enough with Monika T^T this was a really long rant and idk what it accomplished but yeah-

This is my own original art; please do not repost without crediting me! :3

This is the cover I made for a sunflower fanfiction I’m working on! It’s called Dreaming Of You on Wattpad. It’s an AU that takes place after the bad end, mostly from Basil’s POV. Only about 5 chapters out, and progress might be slow because of school TvT

Here’s the description of the fanfic:

It's been one week since Sunny was found dead near the entrance of the hospital building. Basil's 'Something' has disappeared. He forced himself to tell his friends the truth, even if Sunny hadn't. But he's far from relieved. His best friend is gone. And then, as Basil drifts off to sleep one lonely night, he begins to dream of something unexpected. He enters a world full of adventure; with starry purple skies, bright colors, friendly faces, and someone he thought he'd lost forever. This story follows Basil as he journeys through Headspace with Sunny and their friends, exploring the dream world he soon learns once belonged to Sunny, but has now evolved into something more. All the while, Basil learns more about the mysterious shadowy figure, always out of reach, that endlessly begs for forgiveness. But the longer he stays, the faster his physical form deteriorates in his hospital bed. And although Basil knows he's just dreaming, he can't help but notice that while the invisible threads that bind him to the waking world seem to be thinning, the single red thread that anchors him to the dreamworld always leads him back to one person.

Here’s the link if anyone wants to read! :D https://www.wattpad.com/story/368944201-%7Edreaming-of-you%7E-a-sunflower-fanfiction

THE HOME OF CAPTAIN SPACEBOY.

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Day 4! This took me forever and almost crashed my Notability app 💀

People are not defined by their addictions.

Someone who is an alcoholic isn’t just an alcoholic. Someone who’s hooked on opioids isn’t necessarily a bad person. Someone who can’t help but shoot up on heroin isn’t necessarily crazy. SOMEONE WHO IS ADDICTED TO DRUGS ISN’T A BAD PERSON JUST BECAUSE THEY DO DRUGS. And even if they are a bad person? They should still be entitled to get help. If the cops arrest someone for possession of drugs, that person shouldn’t just be charged for the crime. They should be given legitimate help to stop the addiction. And because this isn’t done, at least where I live in the US, my Papa (mom’s stepdad) is now dead. Today’s his birthday, and two days ago, he committed suicide. He was an alcoholic, who was arrested multiple times, and one of those times was for possession of drugs. I don’t know what kind. All I know is, very little was done to help him, if anything at all was done. Just because someone has an addiction does not make them a bad person. I can say this with confidence because, when I was little, my Papa was one of the funniest people in my life. He made me and my cousins giggle a lot, by telling jokes and making funny faces and tickling us silly. I don’t have many memories of him beyond that, because once he and my Nana (mom’s mom) got divorced a few years back, we only saw him twice. We tried to schedule time to spend with him, but a lot of the times, he would cancel last minute. He would stop reaching out to people as much. He had to give away his cat and move out from the house he and my Nana had lived in. He moved into an apartment. Multiple times, my aunts who lived nearby called for police welfare checks on him.

Two days ago, on March 20th, my Papa was found dead. I don’t feel comfortable sharing how he did it, but he did leave a suicide note- a note that none of my family had access to for about 24 hours or so after we found out what had happened. Chances were that he was intoxicated, due to the location he was found, though we haven’t gotten back the toxicology report yet to confirm this. The day before, one of my aunts had called the police to do a welfare check on him, as he wasn’t answering his phone. Five minutes later, the officer she’d gotten in contact with responded- a time short enough for us to believe that the officer(s) involved in the welfare check were negligent. My personal opinion, though biased, is that since he had been arrested before (not for any sort of major charges to my knowledge), the police were starting to be tired of him, and think of him almost as a nuisance. Like I said, however, this is just my opinion.

People with addictions need to be treated as what they are- people. Good or bad or anything in between, everyone deserves to get treatment for an addiction, and to have their health taken care of. Otherwise, the consequences can hurt not just the person themselves, and not just the people who love them, but our entire society as a whole.

Rest in peace, Papa, and happy birthday. I love you, and I hope you knew that. 🤍

"queer basil theory" its not a theory. fucking look at him