LOL

This is pure comedy gold.

If the Romans Had Outgoing Voice Messages

Caesar: Hey it's Julius. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number I'll - Antony! What the HELL are you doing?? Don't touch that!

Antony: Yo, it's Antony. If you call back and I don't answer, it means I can't answer. Send a text. I might read it. If it can be said in text, then for the love of God, text.

Brutus: Hi! It's Brutus. Um, I'm really super sorry I couldn't get the phone, I swear I'll call you back as soon as I can. Um, if you wanna call my work phone it's xxxxxxxxxx. I'll respond, probably, I might be busy and I can't take personal calls unless it's an emergency but I can try - (BEEP)

Cassius: Hey if this is Octavian bothering me again I swear to God I will punch your fucking lights out. If this is anyone else call back later

Pompey: it's Pompey. Call back later.

Octavian: The person you have dialed is unable to receive your call. Please call back later or leave a message after the tone.

Cato: Alexia? Alexis? Alexa! How did I work this? Alexa won't turn on! This is Cato

I’m a bit disappointed I missed this festival. 

Antinous Festival of the Nile Inundation remix image by honorthegods.

Today, July 25, the modern cult of Antinous celebrates the festival of the Inundation of the Nile. The annual flooding of the Nile had failed in the two years preceding the death of Antinous. Famine was a threat to northern Europe, Africa, and the Near East, regions which relied on imports of grain from Egypt. The year following Antinous’ death, the inundation of the Nile was restored and even exceeded prior levels, an occurrence believed by some at the time to have been a miracle brought about by the recently deified Antinous.

Hail to you, O Nile! Hail, holy waters of life!  Mysterious is your issuing forth from the darkness, on this day whereon it is celebrated!

Hail to you, O Hapi! You bring water to the fields which Ra created! By your command, the land is fertile! Food is abundant, and the people are strong!

Hail, Antinous, deified by the Nile!  You hear the prayers of all those who call out to you, and relieve the afflictions of those in need!

_____________________________________________________________

Remix elements: 

Statue of Osiris-Antinous 2nd century CE: adapted from Allan Gluck via Wikimedia Commons (X). Image license:  Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International

Sunset on the Nile: https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-xtksu

Every person who voted for anti vaxxer and demonizer of autism Jill Stein owes every American autistic person one hundred dollars. Sorry. I don’t make the rules. 

When I see this statue, I can’t help but remember Kate Quinn’s Empresses of Rome series. 

Roman statue of empress Vibia Sabina, wife of Hadrian (r. 117-138 CE). Marble. 

Atton Rand does have a knack for getting into trouble. 

Can I Copy Your Homework: Yugioh Edition

I’ll Help You With It: Tea Gardner, Yami Yugi/Atem

Yeah, Sure: Yugi Moto, Mai Valentine

Bold of You to Assume I did the Homework: Duke Devlin

LOL, Nope: Mokuba Kaiba, Serenity Wheeler

Wait, We Had Homework: Joey Wheeler, Tristan Taylor

Read at 5:55 P.M.: Seto Kaiba

This is so accurate. 

@gayvenomsnake

Dear Right Wing Christians, stop violating the First Amendment, and harassing Pagans. 

Religion News Service

Pagan sues Panera Bread Company alleging religious discrimination

(RNS) — A former baker for the chain said she was told that she 'needed to find God,' according to a court filing.

According to the lawsuit, the subject of McCoy’s religion came up in late May of 2020, when McCoy was on break with the store’s assistant manager, Lori Dubs, and the manager, Kerri Ann Show. Show asked McCoy what her religion was, and Tammy responded, “I am Pagan.”

Show reportedly responded by telling McCoy that she was going to hell, and Dubs “vigorously nodded her head in agreement.”

The lawsuit then goes on to describe a series of other discriminatory actions. Among the complaints are that McCoy’s hours were cut, and when she asked why, she was told that she “needed to find God” before returning to her “previous schedule.”

The comment section for the Wild Hunt's article on this case lists websites, addresses, and email addresses for Pan American Group.

If you contact Pan America Group (which also operates a number of Applebee's. Taco Bell, Arby's, Pizza Huts, and Wendy's) and/or Panera Bread Corporate offices to notify them that you're boycotting their stores because of this case, please, please use civil language so as not to adversely affect the plaintiff or her case in the media or to prospective jurors!

Bad Ancient Rome Joke

Lissa Dragomir: So what do Mark Antony, Julius Caesar, and Cleopatra have in common?

Rose Hathaway: Threesome!

Lissa Dragomir: Can you honestly not take ANYTHING seriously?!

Rose Hathaway: It wouldn’t be as fun if I did.