A Customer Contacted Our Team With Questions, And Then Finished Their Email With: "I Am Daunted By The

And everyone who reads this, too

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did

You are a monster!!

And you a lawyer, "nobody is perfect" 🩸🦇

The main thing Breaking Bad has taught me

Never, ever give annotated books to or accept them from people you do crime with. Yes, even if you think it’s cute. Yes, even if you like them really much. Just don’t.

this is a confession to the star wars fandom because I have to get this off my chest. last summer just for fun I taught myself to read aurebesh and. you fanartists have Got to Continue putting the most Hilarious stuff into the background of your art because it is literally my favorite thing

here’s a couple of excellent things I’ve read since I started keeping a list just last month:

- “I hate drawing lightsabers”

- “Idk what to put here”

- “stupid fucking sign”

- “eat paste, it’s good”

- an entire news article on a phone screen which I actually found really impressive

- a few funny misspellings but the best one so far was ahsoka somehow becoming “asock”

- wanted poster of obi wan that read “wanted for fashion crimes”. the caption translated it as “wanted for high treason”. like blatantly lying to my face. love it.

- door on a ship was labeled “cake storage”

- “shopping list: frogs, hair gel, lightsaber polish”

and my personal favorite:

- “if you’re reading this you’re a fucking nerd”

Pros and cons of being in the Discworld fandom

Pros:

Discworld is amazing

It’s like Tolkien but modern

You will chuckle so hard you’ll have to have to have little breaks to breathe

Small fandom so it’s easy to make friends & discuss things

Really awesome if you like series because there are 40 books

But there are actually 5+ series within that & several stand alone books so you don’t have to read all of them (although by the time you finish one series you might want to read all the rest)

The world is flat & sits on four elephants who are for some reason standing on a giant turtle and I don’t think anyone is really sure why

Easy to find a cool Discworld-related url

Range of female characters (so you know the Joss Whedon Marvel/Steven Moffat syndrome of all the main females being kickass, skinny, kickass, perfect in everyway, kickass & pretty much the same character? that syndrome is stomped into the ground, cut up into tiny pieces & mocked)

Canon lesbian characters

Some super cute tv adaptions with cameos from sir pterry himself

Deep shit reflecting on life the universe and everything, the rise and fall of political systems, the power of words, the prevalence of evil, the nature of humankind, human relationships and beliefs, and so, so much more

Super silly bits where you’re like ye gods pratchett did you really just make that pun

Ships ranging from teenage fluff to middle-aged fluff to damn hot af

Characters who oppose their society’s gender binary & nice friendly badass werewolf woman lends them dresses

Badass moments which make your insides do hoola hoops

The fucking puns

Really awesome large characters who either just don’t give a flying fuck or have to deal with fat shaming and prove that they are infinitely better, kinder, cleverer people than the fat shamers and often use their size to help them as they save lives/fight evil etc.

There’s this book called Monstrous Regiment and it’s basically 400 pages of fucking up sexism, xenophobia and gender binary

There’s a character named Adora Belle Dearheart and her partner (to clarify: she’s not his wife, he’s her husband) is called Moist what more do you want

A Christmas/winter festival book which will leave you warm and happy and philosophically questioning

Do you like funny footnotes?? So many funny footnotes

Characters getting over & challenging internalised prejudices & beliefs

Destruction of racial stereotypes 

Characters call even the protagonist out on their assumption of roles which fit a white supremic system 

Really good model of police/civilian relationship where the commander of police force fundamentally does not agree with the police/civilian model because “what was a policeman, if not a civilian with a uniform and a badge? once policemen stopped being civilians, the only other thing they could be was soldiers.” - or put more simply “a watchman is a civilian, you inbred streak of piss”

young teenage witches coming to terms with their own strength & power, middle-aged witches who write cooking sex books and are as kind as can be, old witches who are canonically ace/aro spectrum and never regret that for a moment and just so fucking smart

so many witches

and there are wizards, and female wizards too

Death is a character and he’s adorable and he really really likes cats and he has a granddaughter who looks after children and hits monsters with pokers and has amazing hair

Super talented fandom who do art and fics which break your heart

Very good realistic characters and protagonists which are far from perfect aka recovering alcoholic picked up out the gutter by a (6 foot) dwarf and a woman who is large and kind but perfectly capable of looking after herself and the recovering alcoholic and a garden full of swamp dragons - and the old witch? she is only a goodie because everyone else is too busy being bad - and there’s an ex con artist who spent his life ruining others’ bc he found it fun and is only now a ‘goodie’ because he’s being blackmailed - and the person in charge is a tyrant but he’s really a very reasonable one - and there’s a guy who literally just runs away from things the entire time I’m not even exaggerating that’s like the entire plot of his books he just runs away from things

Have I mentioned the puns

Cons:

There are no cons

Discworld is amazing

I will lend you the books

This is where the dragons went ...

And although the space they occupy isn’t like normal space, nevertheless they are packed in tightly. Not a cubic inch there but is filled by a claw, a talon, a scale, the tip of a tail, so the effect is like one of those trick drawings and your eyeballs eventually realize that the space between each dragon is, in fact, another dragon.

They could put you in mind of a can of sardines, if you thought sardines were huge and scaly and proud and arrogant.

-Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

All hail deep, eternal friendship and Professor Tolkien who showed us such good examples of it

I think one of the great things about the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Hobbit as well is the fact that while historically the most moving relationships in a narrative are usually romantic or familial. The Lord of the Rings is one long treatise in praise of friendship. The nearest relatives in the Fellowship are cousins. The parent-child relationships and the variation of uncle-wards that is Theoden and his sister's children are fraught with dysfunction. If we set aside the periphery relationships like Sam and the Gaffer and Beregond and Bergil there is upheaval in all the parent child relationships.

But friendship now that is wholesome and exemplified in all the races. For men there is Eomer and Boromir and their bonds with Aragorn. Hobbits of course speak for themselves throughout the whole trilogy and the Hobbit. There is mourning for lack of connection between Mirkwood and Lorien for the elves. A yearning for renewed friendship. And of course the standout friendship of them all for its unlikeliness if for no other reason. Legolas and Gimli. A friendship so fast and secure that Legolas cannot consider leaving Middle Earth for his rightful place in the west without bringing Gimli with him. A dwarf. The race that was not meant to be made and certainly no dwarf has ever been even near the undying lands and Legolas knows this.

The fact that friendship can be just as eternal as a marriage vow or the bonds of blood is something that doesn't get a lot of coverage in literature and yet it permeates the life of all the heroes in The Lord of the Rings. From Aragorn to Samwise

That’s really such a cool idea! But consider: Han does have the Force (he’s definitely not as strong as most Jedi but there’s plenty of hints in the canon that his connection is above average). And while trying to teach Rey by Luke’s notes, he slowly realises that some of this religious nonsense might actually have something to do with reality??? Suddenly something about perception of reality or stuff is starting to make sense??? And of course he hates it so much, he gets angry, he starts actively trying some of the stuff out just to prove to himself that it doesn’t work, but it works??? And now he hates it even more??? He tries to forget all this, get away from it, but once he felt it, there’s no way of unfeeling it. All these little feelings that helped him navigate through the most unnavigable areas of the galaxy turned out to be that stupid religion, and there’s nothing he can do about it. But maybe these monks just found some methods to strengthen those little absolutely-not-some-supernatural-force feelings and made up some kind of universal power just to give them an explanation, the same way any other religion starts. And since these feelings are of absolutely normal nature and are really useful to him, he might as well try out these training techniques. As long as he doesn’t let this religion thing fool him, right? Now, Rey, where were we? Ah yes, energy field. Whatever. You might as well sit down and try to find it, it’s not like we have anything else to do.

Me and my friend had some fun trying to rewrite the sequel trilogy a while ago and I think the best idea we had was Luke dies and Han and Rey get stranded on some nowhere planet where he has to haphazardly attempt to teach her years of jedi training in like a week entirely by reading out of Luke’s notes (somehow even worse than Luke’s extremely DIY training in the OT).

This isn’t at all based on the ‘Han has the force’ theory it’s literally just crabby atheist old man Han Solo and his dead best friend’s religious texts that are totally useless to him vs the world.

i LOVE that, disney needs to get you two rewriting the sequels STAT

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