I've Stopped Writing Again, Which Is Not A Good Thing For My Mind Tbh. My Readings Are Slow And I'm A

so, i came back to tumblr, after all! weird to be here, i've disappeared almost everywhere, the queen of ghosting. it was for a good reason. i've been dealing with a long period of crisis, gave up 2 semesters at uni, been stuck in my bed 23h/day (not a hyperbole). finally, i feel like coming back here.

in this whole period, i haven't done too much. couldn't read, watched not so many movies/tv shows, but i did listen to a bunch of music. that kept me a bit less depressed.

i feel like i have something inside of me that is trying too hard to get out, but i don't know how to do it; it's a feeling of creation. only a few people actually feel this, like they need to create something, to put it out, but haven't found a way yet. it's stuck, and it's a whole interwork.

AND altho i know that not many people follow me, neither know who i am or whatever, but to anybody reading this and going through something bad, i hope you get better. focus on your health. it'll pass, doesn't matter when, just be strong and keep fighting. this isn't a coaching shit or self-help bad book, but for experience of someone who's dealing with way too much. everyday is a new day to begin again, until you get it.

have a really muthafuckin great day, guys. much love to you. (that's for the 2 people maybe reading this lmfao thank you for being here) 🌧🤍

Albert Camus

social media has really warped our perception of creativity and hobbies. Stop doing things to post them. Just write. Just journal. Just sketch. Just read. Just annotate. Just sing. Just crochet. Just do the thing you’re going to do with the assumption no one will ever see or know you did it. Stop performing. Just enjoy it.

"We must mend what has been torn apart, make justice imaginable again in a world so obviously unjust, give happiness a meaning once more..."

from Lyrical and Critical essays by Albert Camus

📖 reading week (11/12 - 17/12)

currently reading

lolita - nabokov (pg. 56/ 331)

crime e castigo - dostoievski (pg. 33/561)

the way of kings - brandon sanderson (530/1252)

estado de sítio - camus (42/149)

to be read

cult classic - sloane crosley

i love you but i've chosen darkness - claire vaye watkings

dream work - mary oliver

read (11/12-17/12)

in the dream house - carmen maria machado

masterpiece.

hi again! back here pretending i didn't say i'd be posting more and then disappeared. i hope there's someone here still, if there's not it's ok, let it be just me and my own tumblr shadow.

BUT if there is, i hope you're ok. been a long time, alot happened, it always does.

i went to the movies to watch one of my favorite movies of the year: 'ainda estou aqui' (i'm still here) by walter salles. it's really nice to see a brazilian film doing so well internationally.

there's a promo going on and i bought these books over ☝🏼 there. as always, camus, clarice and byung-chul han; then, ivan turgueniev, woolf (i've been wanting to buy for a long time), and today i received a dostoievski book too 👇🏼!

unfortunately 2 weeks (maybe?) ago, i got hurt on my left foot. i tried to get better but it didn't work; so yesterday during our very first game in the competition, it got worse. i had to go to the hospital. the result is me not allowed to put my left foot on the ground and jumping around the house on one leg only.

and to wrap it up, i literally just started 'the substance'. don't have anything to say yet cause i'm 10 minutes in - but the photography is insane! really really good. i hope the hype is well deserved.

to all of you, the ones reading or not, i wish you peace of mind. have a real nice december! 🤲🏼🩶

“I am obscure to myself. I let myself happen. I unfold only in the now. I am rudely alive.”

- Clarice Lispector, Água Viva [in the images, a picture of Clarice and part of a manuscript from Água Viva]