My Name Is Abed.

My name is Abed.

I’m a survivor from Gaza, holding on to hope in a world that has fallen apart around me. 💔

The life I once knew — my home, my family, my sense of safety — has been shattered by war. Today, I live among the ruins, trying to find a path forward through the rubble and heartbreak. 🏚

Every moment is a battle against fear and uncertainty. What was once ordinary — a safe place to sleep, a future to dream of — now feels like a distant memory. 🕊️

I share my story not to seek pity, but to keep hope alive — to believe that even in the darkest places, kindness can still find a way. 🤍

If my story touches your heart, please consider sharing it or offering support. Every voice, every act of care, brings me one step closer to safety. ✨

Thank you for taking the time to listen. 🙏

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i’ll keep you in my prayers <3 sending light love and hope for better days! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

More Posts from Jaeyuniversal and Others

1 month ago

MORNING.ᐟ

MORNING.ᐟ
MORNING.ᐟ
MORNING.ᐟ

pairingᝰ.ᐟ nishimura riki x reader

genreᝰ.ᐟ smut

warningsᝰ.ᐟ somnophilia, unprotected sex, overstimulation, fingering, oral (f), etc.

natty's notesᝰ.ᐟ request, mdni, hate comments will be deleted.

MORNING.ᐟ

the morning stretches out lazily around you, golden light slipping through the curtains in gentle slivers, casting soft shadows across the room. outside, the world is quiet—only the faint chirping of birds and the occasional rustle of wind threading through the trees. it’s peaceful, calm, the kind of morning that wraps itself around your limbs like warm silk. but inside, beneath the covers, the mood is anything but tranquil.

riki lies beside you, body tense, breath uneven. he’s been tossing and turning for what feels like hours, his sleep fractured by the ache pulsing between his legs and the impossible heat of your body so close to his. every time he shifts, every brush of the sheets, every accidental graze of his skin against yours—it only makes it worse. his cock is hard, throbbing beneath the thin fabric of his boxers, the pressure almost unbearable now as it presses against the curve of your back.

you’re still sleeping, soft and unaware, your breath slow and even. your body’s curved in toward him just slightly, warm and inviting beneath the blanket, and it’s driving him insane. his mind won’t stop racing—images of you from the night before, the way your lips had looked when you pouted, the way your shorts had ridden up your thighs, the sound of your laughter echoing in his ears. now, with nothing but a few inches of space between you and the weight of morning silence, those thoughts spiral deeper, darker, more desperate.

his hand moves without fully thinking—slow, cautious, trembling. it finds your waist first, fingers brushing lightly against your bare skin. he freezes for a moment, just listening to your breathing, waiting to see if you stir. but you don’t. so he lets his hand drift lower, tracing the soft curve of your belly, the warmth there making his throat go dry. his thumb strokes back and forth gently, almost soothing, but his mind is anything but calm.

his hips shift closer, and you feel it then—the hard press of him against your lower back, thick and unrelenting, even through the barrier of clothes. he sucks in a quiet breath, biting down on his lip as he fights the urge to rut against you, to let the friction offer him even the smallest bit of relief. he doesn’t mean to wake you, doesn’t mean to take advantage of the moment. he just wants to feel you, wants to pretend for just a second longer that you’re his—that he can have this, have you, without consequence.

he knows he shouldn’t. not without you awake. not without you looking at him with those sleepy, soft eyes and whispering his name the way that drives him fucking crazy. but the temptation is unbearable, gnawing at him from the inside out. he wants to test it—to see just how much he can get away with before you stir, before the dreamlike quiet of the morning shatters into something heavier. something messier.

he’s desperate to feel you. to feel the way your walls flutter and clench around him, warm and wet and so fucking perfect. the thought alone makes his hips twitch forward instinctively, grinding the length of his cock against the curve of your lower back in a slow, pathetic thrust that drags a needy whine from his lips. he bites down hard on his tongue, trying to keep quiet, but the friction barely helps—it only makes him crave more. need more.

his hands tremble slightly as they slide down your sides, slow and careful, brushing over your skin like he’s trying not to wake you. when his fingers hook into the waistband of your shorts, he hesitates for just a second, eyes flicking to your face. still soft. still sleeping. so he tugs—gently at first, then more confidently—until the thin fabric slips down your thighs, pooling at the edge of the bed, forgotten. he adjusts one of your legs, just enough to part them slightly, enough for him to fit between.

he works his own sweats down with practiced ease, dragging them past his hips and kicking them off without a sound. his cock springs free, flushed red and dripping, the cool air of the room making him hiss quietly. one hand wraps around the base, fingers squeezing just enough to make his stomach flutter. the other reaches for you, settling on the curve of your ass, kneading the soft flesh there like he’s starving for it. you’re so warm, so pliant, your body molded perfectly into his as he scoots closer, chest pressing firmly to your back, pelvis nudging into you.

your ass is pushed up now, a beautiful arch formed in your sleep, and he takes it as an invitation he can’t resist. his hips shift forward, his cock nestled right between your folds, the thick head gliding along your slit, smearing his precum into the slick already gathered there. he groans, quiet and strained, the sound muffled as he buries his face in your shoulder. it’s too much. it’s not enough.

then—he pushes in.

slowly. painfully slowly. the tip of his cock parts you, stretching your entrance as your walls begin to welcome him in, warm and wet and perfect. his breath catches, and his eyes clamp shut, brows furrowed as he sinks in deeper, inch by inch. your walls hug him so tightly it almost hurts, and his mouth falls open in a silent moan, his teeth catching his bottom lip as he fights to stay quiet. it’s like your body knows him—even in sleep. like it wants him.

he chokes back a louder sound when he bottoms out, hips pressed flush against your ass, cock fully buried in your warmth. he stays still for a moment, trembling with restraint, the pleasure so sharp it nearly brings tears to his eyes.

“fuck,” he breathes, barely a whisper. “you feel… s-so good…”

his hips move forward in a slow, deliberate thrust, every inch of him dragging against your slick, warm walls as he sinks back in with a quiet gasp. he’s trying—trying so hard to take it slow, to feel every tight pulse of your cunt wrapped around him like it was made to keep him there. the pace is lazy, drawn-out, but it’s laced with desperation, with the kind of need that makes his muscles tremble as he grinds deeper into your body. your skin is soft under him, your warmth pulling him in further with each slow, aching roll of his hips.

you stir beneath him, the smallest shift of your body, a soft sigh that escapes your lips—but he doesn’t stop. he doesn’t even flinch. he’s too far gone, too wrapped up in the way your pussy clenches around him so perfectly, like it knows exactly who he is and what he wants. his head falls forward, breath shaky against the back of your neck as he presses his hips in again, groaning low as your warmth swallows him whole.

his hands slide up beneath your shirt, palms gliding across your stomach, trailing higher until they find your bare breasts. his breath stutters the second he realizes you’re not wearing a bra—just bare skin, warm and soft in his hands, like you knew this would happen. like you wanted it. he groans against your ear, the sound deep and raw, vibrating against your skin.

“fuckkk…” he breathes, fingers curling around the swell of your chest, thumbs brushing over your nipples as his cock drags deep inside you again. your walls flutter around him at the same time, and it pulls another moan from his lips, louder this time, more unrestrained. your body feels too good, too tight, too perfect for him to stop now.

“ri…ki…” your voice is soft, barely above a whisper, cracked and sleepy as you shift slightly beneath him. your body arches into his touch, back curving as your eyes slowly blink open, adjusting to the morning light. a tiny whine leaves your throat, breathy and high, and your thighs twitch slightly as the sensation finally registers—he’s inside you. already moving. already moaning for you.

he lifts his head, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, pupils blown wide as he looks down at you with a mix of guilt and lust so thick it nearly chokes him.

“oh fuck, princess…” he groans, louder now, voice breaking at the edges as your gaze meets his, still hazy and dazed but not fighting him. not stopping him. the way your lips part with another breathy whimper—your hips shifting ever so slightly against his—makes something in him snap.

you feel it—every lazy, deliberate push of his cock inside you. the stretch is slow, deep, almost unbearable in the way it drags against your walls, thick and long and so much that it steals the breath straight from your lungs. he moves with a kind of unhurried hunger, like he’s savoring every second he’s buried in you, like he’s memorizing the way your body reacts with each twitch of his length. and you do—feel every twitch, every pulse, every tremble. it makes your mouth fall open in a soft, broken moan, your body arching instinctively, overwhelmed by how full you are first thing in the morning.

your hands slide up beside your head, fingers curling tight into the pillow as your thighs tremble beneath him. there’s no time to fully process the shock of waking up like this—not when his cock is already thrusting inside you so slowly, so sweetly, and his breath is hot against your ear, murmuring your name in that low, needy voice that makes you clench around him without meaning to. the intrusion of him, the way he fits too perfectly, like your pussy was made to take every inch of him—it’s too much. and yet not enough.

he groans sharply, voice thick with restraint, his rhythm faltering for half a second as your walls squeeze down around him again. “fuck… i’m gonna cum if you keep doing that, baby…” he pants, his voice cracked and breathless, like he’s seconds away from losing all control. his head drops to your shoulder, lips brushing against your skin as his body trembles above yours. his eyes roll back, lashes fluttering as the tight heat of your pussy milks him, and he can barely keep himself grounded.

you don’t stop.

you can’t.

the way he feels inside you—the way his cock presses so deep, twitching uncontrollably with every thrust—it has you dizzy, whimpering into the pillow as your body pushes back into his without thinking. and he feels it. the way you’re not holding back. the way you want it just as badly. his hands grope blindly until they find your breasts again, palms warm and shaking as he squeezes them tight, fingers rolling over your sensitive nipples like he needs something to hold onto before he falls apart.

his moans grow louder, raw and wrecked and deliciously desperate. “shit—oh my god…” he chokes out, hips stuttering as his balls tighten, heavy and aching with the pressure building inside him. he’s so close, you can feel it—the way his body tenses, the way his breath catches with every roll of his hips. and it only makes you clench around him harder, wanting him to lose it. needing him to.

“fuck—yes, riki…” your voice comes out breathy and cracked, your head thrown back against the pillow as your thighs tremble beneath him. you can feel yourself unraveling, pulled taut around him, every nerve alight with how deep he is. he’s pressed up against you completely, his chest slick with sweat against your back, his cock buried to the hilt, so far inside that every thrust has him dragging right over your sweet spot—over and over again, so precise, so perfect it has you gasping.

his pace doesn’t falter. if anything, it gets rougher, more determined, like he needs to hit that spot until you break. his hips snap forward, driving into you again, and again, and again—and every time he does, your body jerks with it, helpless and eager. your fingers tighten around the sheets, back arching when the head of his cock grinds against that sensitive bundle inside you, making your vision blur.

you hear him groan, close to your ear, low and trembling, and it sends another wave of heat crashing through you. “oh fuck… i’m close… fuck, ‘m close, baby…” he whines, his voice strained, wrecked, soaked in desperation. his arm stays locked around your waist, holding you tight against him, while his other hand snakes down your body, urgent and shaky, fingertips sliding right between your legs.

and then he finds it—your clit.

you cry out when his fingers brush over it, soft at first, then firmer as he starts to circle it with slow, deliberate pressure. your walls flutter violently around his cock, your body reacting instantly to the extra stimulation. he moans with you, voice cracked and high, lost in the feel of you squeezing him tighter than ever before.

“fuck, fuck… fuck! ‘m cumming, baby—oh my god, fuck—” his voice breaks into a groan, then a whine, one hand clutching your breast, the other still working your clit as he falls apart.

you feel it before you hear it—his cock twitching hard inside you, pulsing with thick, hot spurts of cum that spill deep into your pussy, coating your walls as his hips stutter helplessly. he doesn’t stop thrusting, not right away. not even as he cums. his body moves on instinct, chasing the aftershocks, wanting to stay buried in your warmth as long as he can. you hear the slick sound of him still moving inside you, still throbbing, still moaning through it.

his breath is ragged against your neck, panting harshly as he comes down from it, his fingers softening but never leaving your clit. his cock twitches one last time, a broken groan falling from his lips, and then he collapses against you, body shuddering, flushed and drenched and completely spent.

but riki doesn’t stop. not even as his chest heaves and sweat drips down his spine, not even as his cock twitches one last time from the intensity of his orgasm. the need for you is still thrumming through his veins like a drug—hot, addictive, insatiable. he pulls out slowly, groaning low in his throat as your walls cling to him, fluttering around nothing, the slick sound of your bodies parting making his breath hitch. he hisses through his teeth at the sight—your pussy clenching from the emptiness, still pulsing, still hungry for more.

you barely register the loss before he’s moving again, quick and desperate, hands firm as he grabs your legs and spreads them apart, settling between them like he belongs there. and he does. his mouth is on you instantly, no hesitation, no teasing—just tongue and lips and hot breath as he dives in, devouring your soaked cunt with unrelenting hunger. he groans the moment he tastes you, loud and guttural, the sound vibrating right against your clit. his tongue flicks over it again and again, then presses flat and slow, dragging upward to collect the mess dripping out of you. a mix of your arousal and his cum coats your folds, and he drinks it down like it’s the sweetest thing he’s ever had.

his hands grip your thighs tighter as he sucks hard, his mouth working your clit in slow circles before his tongue darts down again, fucking into you just to taste more. the wet sounds echo between your legs, obscene and slick and so good it has your head thrown back, your fingers clawing at the sheets. you’re trembling, legs already shaking, overstimulated and still climbing higher.

he pulls away with a soft pop, breathless and flushed, his lips and chin glistening with your slick. his eyes are wild, blown wide and glossy, but they don’t leave the mess between your legs. his cum is still dripping out of you, thick and warm and pooling at your entrance, and the sight alone makes him moan again.

“fuck, look at you, baby…” he breathes, voice wrecked, as he reaches down and slips two fingers into you without warning.

you gasp, your back arching off the bed as his fingers slide in easily, the intrusion messy and loud. his cum spills out around his knuckles, dripping over his hand as he thrusts deep, curling his fingers immediately to find that sweet spot again. and when he does—fuck, it’s over. your thighs jerk, your stomach tightens, and a moan tears from your throat, high and broken.

“riki—fuck, riki, i’m gonna cum—” your voice breaks into a loud, desperate cry as your body coils tighter and tighter, your walls clenching around his fingers like you’re trying to pull them deeper.

he growls, low and full of heat, his fingers moving faster now—relentless, pounding into that spot over and over again until you’re seeing stars behind your eyelids, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. the wet sounds only grow louder, slick dripping down to the sheets as your body starts to tremble violently.

“that’s it, baby,” he pants, watching your face twist in pleasure. “cum for me. fuck, let me feel you—come on, just give it to me.”

your body’s burning—everywhere—with the kind of pleasure that comes in waves, crashing over you again and again without giving you a chance to breathe. riki’s fingers are merciless, fucking into you with speed and precision that has your legs trembling uncontrollably on either side of his head. the pressure is building fast, dangerously fast, coiling low in your stomach, a tight, unbearable ache that has you gasping for air, your moans spilling out freely now, loud and high and wrecked.

he never lets up. not for a second. his fingers curl again, and this time, he stays pressed there, dragging over your sweet spot with every thrust. his mouth latches back onto your clit, sucking hard—filthy, wet sounds echoing in the room, your slick dripping down his wrist and coating his chin. he moans into you again and again, desperate and unashamed, like the taste of you is making him drunk.

“riki—fuck, oh my god—don’t stop, i—i’m gonna—” you can’t finish the sentence. your whole body locks up, your legs snap shut around his head, and your hips jerk forward without warning as the orgasm hits you like a train.

your vision whites out.

you scream his name, voice breaking into a sob as your walls clench down hard around his fingers. your back arches off the bed as the pressure explodes, and a gush of slick shoots out of you, soaking riki’s hand, his mouth, the sheets beneath you. the pleasure is so sharp it’s almost painful, your thighs twitching violently as you squirt all over him, completely helpless to stop it.

and riki fucking moans.

loud.

needy.

his tongue doesn’t stop—if anything, he’s messier now, chasing every drop with frantic licks, letting it spill down his chin and moaning against your clit like he’s been starving for this moment. his eyes are fluttered shut, face buried between your thighs as he grinds into the mattress, rutting into the sheets like he can’t take it anymore.

“fuck, baby—holy shit—you’re so wet, fuck, you taste so good,” he whimpers, his voice completely fucked out, high and breathless. his fingers keep moving, just a little slower now, easing you through the high while his lips press wet, open-mouthed kisses along your trembling inner thighs.

your body is limp, twitching, legs spread wide and shaking as he finally slows down. you're still dripping, thighs slick with cum and spit and everything in between, your cunt fluttering from the aftershocks, clenching down around nothing now that he’s pulled his fingers out with a slick pop.

he doesn’t move far. just rests his cheek against your thigh, breathing hard, lips still parted like he’s dazed.

“you squirted so much for me,” he murmurs, almost in awe, fingers idly rubbing the slick between your folds. “fuck, you’re unreal…”

his eyes flick up to yours, and the look on his face—flushed, wrecked, completely pussy drunk—is enough to steal your breath all over again.

and when he leans in again, tongue flicking out to lap up the mess between your thighs, you know he’s nowhere near done.

you’re still gasping, your lungs aching for air as they try to keep up with the rapid, uneven rise and fall of your chest. your limbs are trembling, boneless, completely limp beneath the weight of your own release. your fingers twitch uselessly against the damp sheets, the fabric twisted and soaked beneath you. your whole body feels like it’s buzzing, like your nerves are short-circuiting—caught somewhere between exhaustion and the lingering high of your orgasm.

your thighs are still spread, sticky and weak, barely able to hold themselves up as they tremble with the aftershocks. you feel them ripple through you—those deep, involuntary pulses of your pussy still fluttering around nothing. your clit throbs violently, so sensitive that even the ghost of cool air brushing over it makes your whole body flinch. every inch of you is soaked—your inner thighs, the base of your spine, the space beneath your ass—slick with your cum, his spit, the remnants of everything he’s already pulled out of you. and yet, somehow, you know it’s not over.

because riki doesn’t move far.

he stays between your legs for a moment, face just inches from your overstimulated pussy, lips parted, breath ragged. his chin is glistening, his mouth shiny, and the look on his face is something between awe and obsession. he looks dazed. fucked out. starved. the sounds leaving his throat are low, nearly silent—tiny, shaky whines that sound like he’s barely holding himself together. and then he moves.

he crawls up your body slowly, like he’s climbing out of a dream, kissing every inch of skin he can reach along the way. his lips find your inner thigh first, then your hipbone, then the soft swell of your stomach, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses on the places you’re still twitching. he mouths at your skin like he’s trying to stay grounded, like if he stops touching you, he’ll forget how to breathe. his hands roam again, slower now, sliding up your waist and beneath your shirt, fingers splayed as they glide over your ribs before cupping your breasts again like he needs them. he groans when he feels how sensitive they still are, thumbs brushing over your swollen nipples until you arch into him with a shaky gasp.

his face finally reaches yours, and he pauses—hovering over you, flushed and panting, his bangs sticking to his damp forehead. his cheeks are dusted a deep, lust-drunk pink, his lips puffy and wet. he looks at you like you’re unreal, like he can’t believe he gets to have this, have you. his eyes flick down to your lips, then back up, and the kiss he gives you is slow and deep and messy—tongue sliding against yours with the same desperation he just had between your legs.

you moan into his mouth, still dazed, still trembling, the taste of yourself on his tongue only making your stomach flip. your body jerks when his cock brushes your folds again—hot and heavy, pressed between your slick thighs. even through the haze of overstimulation, you can feel how hard he still is, how needy he’s become.

“you’re so fucking perfect,” he whispers against your lips, his voice hoarse, broken. “you drive me fucking insane…”

he doesn’t even have to line himself up. your pussy is soaked—wet and loose from how hard you came, slick and swollen and so ready that the thick head of his cock just slides right back into you with barely a push. you both gasp at the feeling—your body arching off the bed, his hips faltering as he sinks all the way in.

“fuck—still so tight,” he groans, voice cracking, his forehead pressing to yours as his cock stretches you open again. you sob out a cry, your walls fluttering violently around him as your body tries to adjust.

the overstimulation is immediate and brutal.

your cunt is already twitching from the last orgasm, so sensitive it’s almost painful—and now it’s full again. his cock drags against every part of you, the friction sharp and overwhelming. you whimper into his shoulder, fingers curling around his arms, nails digging into his sweat-slicked skin.

“riki—ah, f-fuck—it’s too much,” you breathe, voice high and shaking, your head falling back against the pillow. “i can’t—i can’t—”

but he doesn’t stop.

he thrusts slow but deep, grinding into you with a slow roll of his hips that makes you feel every single inch. his cock presses against your sweet spot on every thrust, dragging across that soft, swollen bundle deep inside you like he knows exactly what it’s doing to you.

“i know, baby,” he pants, kissing your jaw, your neck, your collarbone. “i know it’s a lot—but just give me one more, yeah? just one more. i need it.”

his hips snap harder now, a wet slap echoing with every thrust. your bodies are so slick, so sticky, that the sounds are obscene, soaking the sheets beneath you as your cunt tightens around him with every movement. you’re so full. so overstimulated. so close to falling apart again.

his hand slides between your bodies, fingers finding your clit without hesitation, rubbing tight little circles, fast and precise. you cry out, your voice loud and broken as your hips buck up against him.

“c’mon, baby,” he groans, his breath stuttering. “make a mess for me again. i know you can. squirt all over me. fuck—i want it.”

your moans are pure sobs now, high-pitched and uncontrollable, the pressure building faster than you can handle. your thighs spasm. your nails dig deeper. your body starts to curl inward, desperate to find something to hold onto as the wave builds harder, deeper, dangerously high.

“riki—fuck, i—i can’t—i’m gonna—!”

“do it,” he growls, mouth hot at your ear, his voice falling apart. “cum for me. fuck—soak me, baby. show me how good i make you feel—please—”

your body breaks in waves, shuddering beneath him as that unbearable pressure finally snaps—ripping through your core with the kind of intensity that robs you of your breath and leaves your vision flashing white. it hits you so fast, so hard, it almost doesn’t feel real—like your body’s floating and falling at the same time. your mouth opens in a cry that doesn’t fully form, your voice caught in your throat, too overwhelmed to even scream.

your hips jerk uncontrollably. your back arches off the soaked sheets, spine curving in pure reflex as the orgasm explodes from deep inside you. and then it happens—your whole body convulses as a violent gush of slick sprays out of you, splashing over his hips, your thighs, the bed, everywhere.

riki moans like you’ve just touched heaven itself.

his head snaps up from where he’s been kissing your shoulder, eyes wide, lips parted, absolutely drenched in the sight of you falling apart for him. “fuuuck—oh my god, baby,” he gasps, breath hitching on every syllable like it physically hurts him to see you like this and not lose it. “you’re—fuck, you’re squirting, you’re actually—holy shit.”

he sounds delirious. undone. pussy drunk in the truest sense of the word.

you feel him twitch inside you, feel his hands grabbing at your waist like he needs to anchor himself, like if he doesn’t hold you he might just fucking break apart. and the overstimulation only gets worse from there—his cock still buried inside, still grinding into your fluttering walls, dragging through the sensitive, soaked mess you’ve made with every tiny movement of his hips.

your thighs are trembling violently, muscles spasming with aftershocks you can’t control. your hands grip at his shoulders, his hair, the sheets—whatever you can find, whatever keeps you tethered while your body spirals through the afterglow of your release. more slick gushes out of you, another uncontrollable burst that sprays between your legs, soaking his abdomen and the bed beneath you. it just keeps coming—wet and warm and messy—and riki is losing his fucking mind.

he moans again, louder this time, voice trembling as his eyes roll back for just a second, completely overwhelmed. “that’s it, baby, fuck—keep going, don’t stop—soak me,” he groans, and then he’s kissing you, his mouth crashing against yours in a desperate, open-mouthed kiss full of tongue and need. his hips are stuttering now, thrusts sloppy and shallow, fucking you through the mess, like he doesn’t know how to stop. like your pussy is too good. like your body owns him.

and in that moment—it does.

his hand slips between your bodies again, fingers finding your clit even though it’s throbbing, swollen, unbearably sensitive. he rubs soft circles, drawing out every drop, every twitch, and your legs jerk hard, another sob ripping from your throat as your vision blurs with tears. the overstimulation has you screaming, crying his name, your body convulsing beneath him with each new burst of pleasure that has no place being this strong.

“shhh, baby, you’re okay, i’ve got you,” he whispers, but his voice is broken, thick, like he’s crying too. “just let it out—god, you’re so fucking perfect—look at how much you’re cumming for me…”

another wave hits, and this one has you sobbing.

you feel it gush from you again, slick pouring out of your overstimulated pussy in rhythm with the clenching of your walls. you can’t stop it, and you don’t want to. you want him to see, to feel everything, and riki is right there, taking it all in like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

he’s whispering against your skin, his lips moving from your cheek to your ear to your collarbone, repeating soft, broken things like “you’re so good,” and “mine,” and “gonna remember this forever.”

he thrusts one last time—slow, deep, dragging his cock through your still-spasming cunt before finally collapsing on top of you, his arms wrapping around your shaking body, his breath completely wrecked. he doesn’t pull out. doesn’t move. he just holds you there, his chest pressed to yours, his cock still twitching inside your soaked, ruined heat.

the room is silent except for the sound of your breathing—shaky, uneven, like you're still learning how to inhale again. riki’s heart is pounding in his chest against yours, fast and wild. his hands are everywhere—stroking your hair, rubbing your back, cupping your face as he peppers soft kisses over your cheeks.

he lifts his head to look at you, his eyes glassy and so full of emotion it makes your breath catch. “you… you’re unreal,” he whispers, voice hoarse, lips brushing yours. “you came so hard for me, baby. you soaked me—fuck, you wrecked me.”

and still, he stays inside you.

still full.

still hard.

still kissing you like he’s never going to stop.

MORNING.ᐟ

natty's notesᝰ.ᐟ hope y'all liked it !!

1 week ago

MY KIND OF WOMAN ✶ 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗄𝗇𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎

 MY KIND OF WOMAN ✶ 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗄𝗇𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎
 MY KIND OF WOMAN ✶ 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗄𝗇𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎
 MY KIND OF WOMAN ✶ 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗄𝗇𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎

𝗔𝗟𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗟𝗬 ──── 𝗂’𝗆 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗄𝗇𝖾𝖾𝗌. 𝖻𝖾𝗀𝗀𝗂𝗇’ 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾, 𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗒. 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗆𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗅𝖽.

❪ 𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗦&𝗖𝗢 ❫ 。 enhypen x fem ! rea 1854 fluff ✶ skinship kissing alcohol mention crying (ᴗ_ ᴗ。) 书

REBLOG4AKISS

 MY KIND OF WOMAN ✶ 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗄𝗇𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎

HEESEUNG

your boyfriend feels like he is slowly losing all sense of sanity. as he peeks over at you standing in front of the bathrooms mirror— to busy getting yourself dolled up to merely notice a sign of his presence— he feels his mind slipping away from his fingers.

his leg is bouncing, at the same rate as his heartbeat. he bites down his lower lip, presses it against the higher one and tries to drift his eyes away from your lipstick brushing over your mouth. but he still wants it, he still wants to kiss you that bad.

the sound of his feet against the floor makes you turn your attention to his direction. he looks at you like he knows you are going to deny him again— which is true.

“go away,” you tell him with a laugh but he doesn’t listen. instead, he stops a few centimeters away from you and under your confused gaze, he starts to lower himself. “what are you doing?”

he is soon all the way down to his knees, with his hands clasped against one another in a way that reminds one of a prayer. he looks up at you with such wide bambi like eyes that you can’t help but laugh in disbelief, “pretty girl please,” he starts, voice pleading. “let me give you one kiss before you leave.”

you stay silent as heeseung begs a little more for a the smallest sign of affection. then you giggle as you say, “heeseung, get up,” and he listens. he steps closer to you, who wraps your arms around his neck. your lip combo can be ruined after all, “you are so stupid.”

JAY

the tension in the house welcomes your boyfriend the second his steps inside. it sends chills from the top of his nape down down to his spine. suddenly, his cravat is a little bit too tight around his neck and his hands are getting sweaty.

with his fingers around his cravat, making in a little bit more loose, he walks towards where you could be. “princess,” he calls out for you, following the light that erupts from the kitchen. you didn’t come open the door for him. “i’m home.”

jay likes to think that he didn’t hear your answer and that you didn’t ignore his greeting— but he knows better.

you don’t even grace him with a glance but his breath is still stolen by the sight of you. the smell of your conditioner took all over the kitchen and your skin glows due to the products of your cherished skin care routine. his eyes drags all over your pretty pajamas down to your shorts and your bare legs.

he gets closer to you, waiting for you to give him a little bit of attention. he sighs when you don’t, “can you at least look at me?” he feels like talking to a wall.

it feels like it’s a punishment for coming home too late. now he can’t kiss his pretty lover but he knows how to make things a little better.

and because jay is a real man who doesn’t mind being a little pathetic for his girlfriend, he gets on his knees in his expensive suit and takes your hands in his.

“princess, i’m sorry,” he says as he scoots closer. his puts your hands on his shoulders and puts his on your hips. he can’t help but find the way you furrow your brows extremely hot. “i’ll make it up to you, i promise.”

JAKE

he comes back home red in the face and teary eyed. due to the alcohol running in his system, he stumbles over every single furniture of the house. in the empty hall, he slurs your name in an attempt to call out for you.

you rush to him, “jake, are you okay?” you ask, your ends on his shoulders as he almost stumbles over his own feet. he takes him some time to realize that you are here, standing right in front of him.

his eyes shines even more when he looks at you. you can see your reflection in his growing tears, “my love,” his voice his shaky and wobbly. he doesn’t say anything more— only collapsing his body against yours.

his strong arms hold you firmly. he hides his face in your neck. you can swear that he starts to cry, even sobs a little from time to time while you hug him back. “what happened?”

he doesn’t respond but his grip on your becomes lighter and you feel is body getting lamb, as if he was melting against your warmth. he slides down until he is in front of your feet, on his knees.

he embraces your waist and rests his cheek against your stomach, “i missed you,” he sniffles. he tightens his embrace, “i missed you a lot.”

you pat the back of his head, “i missed you too.”

SUNGHOON

“hey, you,” the tall man says after you open the door. he presents himself in a white tank top and black sweatpants. there is a big bag hoppped over his shoulder, indicating that he just came back from the gym.

you get on your tiptoes to kiss him as a greeting. then you go back on your feet properly and scan his buff form with a smile, “why do you but the gym everyday?” you ask, resting your arms on his naked arms. you squeeze his biceps. “you are already jacked.”

he smiles as you touch him. “are you feeling yourself?” well, yes. his question doesn’t make you stop and you keep on torturing his arms for a while before having pity for your boyfriend.

you step backwards to let him in. he steps closer to you, though, without closing the door behind him. he puts his large back on the floor, “i hit the gym just so i can—” he starts as he kneels in front of you.

sunghoon looks like a prince when he is down there, and that makes your heart skip a bit when your eyes lock with his. the look in his eyes and his goddamn smirk is anything but trustworthy.

“what are you doing?” you laugh nervously. then, you yelp when he hugs your thighs and hops you over his shoulder. as he starts to get up, you beat his back weakly, “put me down!”

he doesn’t. instead, he continues to talk while turning around and closing the door behind him, “—do that.”

SUNOO

“i don’t know,” you start hesitantly as you let yourself fall into the couch behind you. you bite your lower lip— glistening with your lipgloss— slightly before continuing, “i don’t like my face these days.”

your boyfriend can’t help but let a grimace creep on his face. not being your worries doesn’t matter, but because he think they don’t make sense. when he looks at you, all dressed up and glowing from head to toes, he is in disbelief.

“you’re beautiful,” he tells you before thinking. and he wonders, quietly, how anyone else can say otherwise. how can someone so gorgeous fail to see her own beauty?

you huff, clearly trying yet failing to believe his words. “thank you,” your fingers tuck a hair strand behind your ear.

for a few seconds you are too busy avoiding his eyes and fidgeting with your fingers to notice that he has got closer to you. he stands in front of you, and when you finally notice, you are too embarrassed to look up.

he decides to find another way. he gets his knees on the floor, and cup your face tenderly. “look at me,” he smiles when you do. “you are so beautiful that you got a man on his knees for you, who else can say that?”

he brings your face closer to his own. he kisses your forehead while you laugh, then your nose, your cheeks until whispering against your mouth, “you are gorgeous, okay?”

he doesn’t let you go until you nod weakly.

JUNGWON

if there is one person who is a pain to take care of, it’s definitely your boyfriend.

you try to push him away off of you, but he groans and has the audacity to rearrange his position. “jungwon,” he whines when you try to get him off of you again. it’s not like you want to get up for the fun of it, or only because you can’t feel your body anymore, “i need to go buy you medication.”

he doesn’t budge. for a moment, you want to give up and let yourself be swallowed by the mattressunder you. but if he doesn’t take medication, he will be sick, even more annoying than usual. you tickle his stomach, he yelps a laugh. you take the advantage of his weakness to escape.

“no,” he says when you are already out of the bed. he grips into your arm but he is too weak to fight against your strength. your wrist slips away from his fingers, his torso out of the bed. he decides to get up completely and follow you.

“stay away,” you tell while you put your shoes on.

“why do you hate me?” he coughs in despair. then, he literally falls down to his knees. you hand flies to your mouth as he pleads, “i don’t need medication, i need you.”

you stay still for a few seconds. flabbergasted and amused by his antics, you put on your jacket, still. “i love you,” the man is still on his knees when you open the door. “please be normal when i come back.”

RIKI

“you cheated!” he exclaims, yanking his controller in the empty space next to him. he falls back against the couch’s backseat. his faces the ceiling, slowly processing his defeat, as you jump on the couch.

his allegations doesn’t phase you at all: how can anyone cheat at mario kart? perhaps, you did push him with your shoulder from time to time, but he did it back. “i won!” you remind him, cheerful. you don’t hide your mean smile when you continue, “get on your knees now.”

your boyfriend’s large hands fall to his thighs. he sends you a look that clearly asks you if you are being serious right now. “oh, come on,” you giggle at both him and the sight on the television. princess peach is happy to be first place, it seems. “it was part of the bet.”

riki sighs, slowly getting in up. he steps in front of you, “do you really want me to?” he laughs at how happily you nod to give him an answer.

slowly, he lowers himself. he is still tall, even when he is so prettily set on his knees. with a small grin, he looks up at you, “you are the only princess ever,” his eyes follow you when you sit down. “and i would do anything for you,” there is a small pause where he takes a deep breath, “really. now gimme a kiss.”

when such a beautiful man is on his knees asking for a kiss, it’s your job to make his wish come true.

 MY KIND OF WOMAN ✶ 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗄𝗇𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎

분지 ܃ i hope you enjoyed this longer work <3

taglist open !

1 month ago

that’s me, baby. (lhs)

That’s Me, Baby. (lhs)
That’s Me, Baby. (lhs)
That’s Me, Baby. (lhs)

WARNINGS: SMUT so mdni, nsfw twitter link, kisses, clit rubbing, belly bulge, neck grabbing, hair pulling, everything is consensual, cursing, making out, unprotected sex (pls don’t), proofread but i'm sorry if there's mistakes! (Imk if i missed something pls!!)

genre: smut

anon’s req: “i've thought of this alot, heeseung and belly bulges >I//<”

pairing: bf!heeseung x afab!reader

wc: 4k

That’s Me, Baby. (lhs)
That’s Me, Baby. (lhs)

the evening had settled into a comfortable rhythm as you and heeseung relaxed on the couch in his living room. you were perched on his lap, enjoying the close, intimate proximity. the conversation was light and easy, punctuated by occasional kisses that were sweet and lingering.

so, what’s the plan for the weekend? you asked, your voice teasing as you leaned in for another kiss. heeseung’s lips met yours eagerly, his hands resting gently on your hips. his touch was soft at first, but there was an underlying tension that hinted at a deeper connection.

as you continued talking, you could feel the warmth between you both intensify. heeseung’s hands began to move more deliberately, his fingers grazing your sides with a growing sense of urgency. you shifted slightly on his lap, feeling the evidence of his arousal pressing against you.

you decided to test the waters, rubbing against him in a way that felt both teasing and intentional. the reaction was immediate. heeseung’s breath hitched, and you could sense the tension in his body. a mischievous smile spread across your lips.

seems like you’re enjoying this, you said, your voice low and suggestive. you continued to shift your hips, feeling the warmth growing between you.

heeseung let out a soft groan, his eyes dark with desire. you’re soaking wet, he said, his voice rough with need. his fingers moved to your hips, guiding you closer as he tried to manage the growing urgency. i can feel how much you want this.

the acknowledgment only spurred you on. you shifted your movements to increase the contact, rubbing against him with a more deliberate intent. heeseung’s hands slid down to your thighs, his fingers brushing against the damp fabric of your clothes.

fuck, you’re so wet, heeseung muttered, his voice strained. he began to rub your clit through your clothes with a focused touch. his movements were slow and deliberate at first, each stroke designed to build the pressure and intensity.

the sensation was overwhelming. you could feel every touch as if it was magnified, and your breath grew heavier with each passing moment. heeseung’s fingers worked in a steady rhythm, applying just the right amount of pressure to make you gasp and moan.

does that feel good? he asked, his voice a mix of anticipation and desire. his eyes were fixed on your face, watching every reaction as he continued his ministrations.

yes, you gasped, your voice barely a whisper. it feels incredible. you arched your back slightly, pushing into his touch as your body responded to his skilled fingers.

heeseung’s touch grew more insistent, his fingers rubbing your clit in a way that made the pleasure build slowly but intensely. the moment stretched on, the sensation of his fingers combined with the heat between you creating a prolonged, intoxicating experience.

don’t stop, please. you could feel the pressure mounting, your body trembling as you approached the edge. the slow, deliberate pace of his touch made every moment feel like it was stretched out, heightening the anticipation and desire.

come on, heeseung murmured, his voice a low, encouraging whisper. cum for me.

the combination of his touch and his words was too much to resist. you felt your body shudder as the climax hit you, waves of pleasure crashing over you with an intensity that left you gasping. heeseung continued to rub you through your release, his touch steady and guiding.

after the waves of your climax had subsided, you rested your head against heeseung’s neck, feeling the gentle rise and fall of his breath as you tried to steady yourself. the aftershocks of pleasure still made your body tremble slightly, and the intimate contact between you both was both comforting and exhilarating.

heeseung’s hands were still on your hips, but his touch had softened to a tender caress. he could feel the dampness of your panties against his lap, and a satisfied smile curved his lips. he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, you did so well.

you managed a weak, contented smile, feeling the warmth of his breath against your skin. thank you, you murmured, your voice still breathless. that feels so good...

heeseung’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer. i’m glad you think so, he said softly. but i want to continue this somewhere a bit more private. his voice was filled with a mix of tenderness and desire, and you could sense the anticipation in his tone.

before you could respond, heeseung effortlessly lifted you into his arms in a bridal carry. his grip was strong and secure, and you felt a sense of safety and closeness as he held you against him. you nestled into his embrace, your head resting on his shoulder.

let’s do this upstairs, he said, his voice low and filled with promise. i want to make sure you’re completely taken care of. his words were both reassuring and electrifying, making your heart race with excitement.

heeseung carried you up the stairs with a gentle but purposeful stride, his arms keeping you close as he navigated the familiar path to his bedroom. the anticipation of what was to come next was palpable, the connection between you both growing stronger with every step.

as you reached the top of the stairs, heeseung’s lips found yours in a soft, lingering kiss, a final reassurance of his affection before the more intense exploration of your desire continued. the promise of the night ahead hung in the air, and you couldn’t wait to see where it would lead.

as you entered his bedroom, heeseung gently set you down on the edge of the bed, his eyes locked on yours with a deep, dark hunger. his hands cupped your face as he leaned in for a kiss, his lips brushing against yours with a tenderness that contrasted with the intense desire in his gaze. the kiss was soft at first, a gentle exploration that quickly deepened into something more passionate.

you responded eagerly, your hands finding their way to the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer. the heat between you both intensified, each kiss growing more urgent as you lost yourselves in each other. heeseung’s hands roamed down to your shoulders, his touch sending shivers through your body.

with a soft, teasing smile, you began to slowly remove your clothes. you started with your blouse, your fingers deftly unbuttoning it while keeping your gaze locked with heeseung’s. each button undone revealed more of your skin, and heeseung’s eyes darkened with every inch that was exposed.

as you shrugged off the blouse, heeseung’s hands moved to your waist, his touch exploring your bare skin with a mix of reverence and eagerness. his kisses followed the path of your exposed neck, trailing down to your collarbone. each kiss was deliberate and tender, the sensation of his lips against your skin creating a delicious contrast to the heat of his breath.

you shifted slightly, giving him better access as you continued to undress. your fingers worked on the clasp of your bra, and with a practiced motion, you let it fall away. heeseung’s breath caught at the sight, his eyes tracing every curve of your body with a look of pure adoration.

heeseung’s lips found yours again, his kiss fierce and hungry as he guided you to lie back on the bed. his hands traveled down your body, his touch igniting every nerve. he took his time, savoring the feel of your skin against his, his kisses following a path from your lips to your chest, lingering on each sensitive spot.

as your panties were the next to go, you slowly slid them down your legs, heeseung’s hands helping you remove them with a careful touch. once they were discarded, he didn’t immediately dive into the next step. instead, he took a moment to appreciate the sight of you fully exposed, his eyes filled with a mix of desire and awe.

good god, you’re beautiful baby, heeseung whispered, his voice filled with raw emotion. his hands cupped your thighs, spreading them slightly as he moved between your legs. his kisses returned, this time focusing on the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, his lips brushing softly against the area just above your cunt.

the sensation of his lips, combined with the anticipation of what was to come, had you shivering with need. heeseung’s hands explored your body, his touch both gentle and possessive as he slowly made his way up, pausing to savor every moment. each kiss and caress built the tension, heightening the connection between you both.

finally, heeseung’s fingers traced the dampness that had already accumulated, feeling the evidence of your arousal. his touch was reverent as he began to rub your clit with a slow, deliberate motion. his kisses continued, now moving up to your neck and collarbone, his breath hot against your skin.

the pressure and pleasure from his touch were overwhelming. heeseung’s movements were steady and focused, his fingers expertly stimulating you while his kisses and murmurs of encouragement only heightened the experience. the moment stretched out, each touch and kiss adding to the intensity of the pleasure building within you.

let me know if you need anything, heeseung murmured, his voice a soothing balm amidst the rising waves of desire. i’m here for you.

you moaned softly in response, your body arching toward his touch as the pleasure continued to build. the combination of his fingers rubbing you, his lips on your skin, and his whispered words created a symphony of sensations that made every moment feel both intense and intimate.

the scene continued to unfold, with heeseung’s touch becoming more urgent as you both approached the peak of desire. his kisses grew more fervent, his touch more insistent, until you could no longer distinguish between the pleasure and the intensity of your connection. the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you, wrapped in a cocoon of desire and affection.

as heeseung’s fingers continued to work their magic on your clit, the pleasure began to build to an overwhelming crescendo. his kisses were fervent, and you could feel the heat of his arousal pressing against you. you reached down with a teasing smile, your fingers wrapping around his hard length.

heeseung let out a sharp intake of breath as your touch made contact. fuck, just like that, he groaned, his voice trembling with need.

you stroked him slowly, your hand moving up and down his shaft with a deliberate rhythm. you’re so hard hee, you whispered, your voice sultry. i can feel how much you want this.

heeseung’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment, lost in the sensation of your touch. you’re driving me insane, he admitted, his voice strained. i need to be inside you, but i wanna make you feel good first princess.

you continued to stroke him, your touch firm but gentle, teasing him as you felt the warmth of his skin. the rhythm of your hand was slow and steady, building the tension between you both. i want you inside me too, you murmured, your voice filled with a mix of desire and satisfaction.

heeseung’s breathing became more ragged, his hands gripping your hips as he tried to hold back his own urge. i don’t think i can wait any longer, he said, his voice a low rumble of need.

with a final, deliberate stroke, you released him, your hand sliding away as heeseung repositioned himself. he guided his tip to your entrance, the anticipation making both of you tremble. he took a moment to savor the closeness, his fingers brushing against your skin as he leaned in for a heated kiss.

ready? he asked, his voice a low growl.

you nodded, your body aching with anticipation, i’m ready, you whispered, your voice trembling with excitement.

heeseung pushed into you slowly, the sensation of him filling you inch by inch causing you to gasp. each thrust was deep and deliberate, his eyes locked with yours as he filled you completely. the connection between you both was intense, the fullness of him inside you creating waves of pleasure that made your body shiver.

heeseung’s hands tightened on your hips as he began to move, his thrusts steady and purposeful. his breaths were heavy and erratic, the pleasure overwhelming both of you as you adjusted to the new depth of connection.

heeseung’s grip on your thigh tightened, his fingers digging into your flesh with a possessive intensity that left you breathless. the roughness of his touch sent a thrill through you, making you crave more, and he used that grip to angle your hips just right, allowing him to sink even deeper inside you. the sensation was overwhelming, a heady mix of pleasure and fullness that made you feel like you were on the edge of something dangerous and exhilarating.

fuck, i can feel how tight you are, heeseung growled, his voice rough and filled with need. he pulled back slightly, only to drive back into you with deliberate force, each thrust making your entire body jolt with the impact. the pace was slow at first, almost torturous in its precision, as if he was determined to make you feel every inch of him.

your hands, needing something to hold on to, instinctively reached up to grip his hair, pulling him closer as you tried to steady yourself against the onslaught of sensations. the softness of his hair between your fingers was a stark contrast to the roughness of his movements, grounding you as he pushed you closer to the edge.

heeseung leaned down, his lips just inches from yours, his breath hot against your skin. do you feel that? he whispered, his voice thick with lust, each word sending a shiver down your spine. he took your hand and guided it to your belly, pressing it firmly against the bulge he was creating with each deep thrust. that’s me, baby. i’m all the way inside you, he said, his tone possessive and dark, his eyes watching your every reaction with a mix of pride and desire.

your fingers trembled as you felt the hard outline of him through your skin, you took a look at your belly seeing him move inside you, and the reality of how deep he was inside you making your mind spin. your grip on his hair tightened, pulling him even closer, as if the physical connection could somehow anchor you in the overwhelming sea of sensations.

heeseung, b-big! you gasped, your voice a desperate plea, almost disbelieving of the intensity of the sensation. it was like nothing you’d ever felt before—the sheer fullness, the way he was stretching you to your limits. your words were cut off as heeseung thrust into you harder, his movements no longer slow and controlled but rough and unrelenting. each thrust forced the air from your lungs, the intensity building as he picked up the pace, his control fraying with every moment that passed.

yeah, that’s right, he murmured, his voice low and dark, lips brushing against your ear. i’m right here, baby. i want you to feel me everywhere. he was relentless now, each thrust making that bulge in your belly more pronounced, more impossible to ignore. your breath caught in your throat, your fingers twisting in his hair as you tried to anchor yourself in the storm of sensations.

heeseung suddenly lowered his head, his lips finding the sensitive skin of your neck. he sucked hard, leaving a mark as his teeth scraped lightly against your skin, moaning against your skin, the sensation sending jolts of pleasure straight to your core. he moved down to your collarbone, his lips and tongue working in tandem to drive you wild, before moving lower, sucking on the soft flesh of your breasts, leaving a trail of bruised kisses in his wake.

it’s so deep, you whispered, your voice shaky, filled with a mix of awe and desperation. the way he was filling you, the way he was forcing your body to accommodate every inch of him—it was almost too much, and yet you craved more, wanting him to push you even further. your back arched off the bed, your body straining toward him, needing more of his touch, more of his lips on your skin.

heeseung’s eyes darkened with even more desire at your words, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. you love it, don’t you? feeling me this deep, knowing that i’m filling you up completely. his tone was rough, his words tinged with pride and possessiveness, like he was reveling in the way your body was responding to him.

your only response was a whimper, the sound escaping your lips as your body tightened around him involuntarily. the way he was speaking to you, the roughness in his voice combined with the sheer physical sensation, sent you spiraling closer to the edge. heeseung felt you clench around him and groaned, his hips stuttering for just a moment before he regained his rhythm, thrusting into you harder, deeper.

fuck, you’re squeezing me so tight, he groaned, his voice strained as he struggled to maintain control. his free hand slid up your body, his fingers wrapping around your throat lightly, just enough to make you feel the pressure, to remind you of the power he had over you in this moment. your grip on his hair loosened slightly, your focus shifting to the feeling of his hand on your throat, the way it made your pulse quicken, your breath hitch in your throat.

look at me, he commanded, his voice dark and dripping with lust. i want to see your face when i make you fucking cum on my cock. the authority in his tone left no room for hesitation, and you forced your eyes open, meeting his intense gaze. the look in his eyes sent a jolt of desire through you, making your body tighten even more around him. your hands slid down from his hair to his shoulders, your fingers digging into his skin as you tried to hold on to something solid, something real.

heeseung’s grip on your throat tightened slightly, his thumb brushing against your jaw as he thrusts into you with a brutal rhythm. each movement was rough, almost punishing in its intensity, but the way he was watching you—like he was drinking in every reaction, every moan, every gasp—made it clear that he was savoring this moment just as much as you were.

fuck, so so tight, he groaned again, his voice rough and filled with a desperate need. you feel so fucking good, baby. i can’t get enough of you.

heeseung, please, you whimper, your voice a desperate plea as the pressure inside you builds to an almost unbearable level. the way he was thrusting into you, the way his hand was still pressing yours against that bulge in your belly—it was all too much, your body trembling as you teetered on the edge of release. your hands instinctively tightened on his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin as you tried to hold on, needing something to anchor you amidst the storm of sensations.

please what? he growled, his grip on your throat tightening just slightly, his eyes narrowing as he watched you struggle to find the words. you want to come? is that it?

you nodded frantically, your eyes pleading with him as your body trembled beneath his relentless pace. yes, please, i need to— you tried to say, but your words were cut off by a sharp intake of breath as he slammed into you harder, his thrusts rough and unrelenting, each one making that bulge in your belly more pronounced. your hands slipped from his shoulders and grabbed at his arms, your fingers digging into his skin as you held on for dear life, needing something to ground yourself in the overwhelming pleasure.

you can’t even talk, can you? hmm? heeseung chuckled darkly, but there was a breath less quality to his voice, a sign that he was just as affected as you were by the intensity of the moment. you’re so fucking full of me that you can’t think straight.

you could only moan in response, your mind too foggy with pleasure to form coherent thoughts. the sensation of his hand guiding yours over your swollen abdomen, combined with the roughness of his thrusts, drove you closer and closer to the edge, your body trembling with the need for release. your grip on his arms tightened, your fingers digging into his skin as you held on for dear life, feeling like you were on the brink of something explosive.

heeseung’s free hand moved to grip your thigh again, pulling you even closer, his pace relentless. i want you to feel me everywhere, he growled, his voice low and filled with a dark desire. i want you to remember this, how fucking deep i am inside you, how you’re mine.

heeseung, you gasped, your voice a desperate plea as your body tightened around him, the pressure building to an unbearable level. the intensity of his movements, the roughness in his voice, the way he was making you feel so completely filled—it all sent you spiraling toward the edge. your hands slipped from his arms to his back, your fingers digging into his skin as you held on to him, needing to feel him, to know that he was real, that this moment was real.

cum for me, baby, heeseung muttered against your lips, his voice rough and commanding. i want to feel you creaming all over my cock. his words were the final push you needed, your body arching beneath him as you cried out, the pleasure crashing over you in waves, each one stronger than the last. your hands tightened on his back, your fingers clutching at his skin as you held on for dear life, feeling the intensity of your release, the way it made you shudder and gasp for breath.

heeseung groaned loudly as he felt you tighten around him, his own release following closely behind yours. f-fucking hell…! this feels so— he thrust into you one final time, burying himself as deep as possible as he spilled inside you. the sensation of him filling you completely, combined with the sight of the bulge in your belly, made your orgasm last even longer, your body shaking with the force of it.

as you both came down from your highs, heeseung’s movements slowed, his touch becoming gentler. his hand remained on your belly, tracing the outline of the bulge with his fingers as he pressed soft kisses to your forehead. the contrast between his roughness moments before and the tenderness now only made the intimacy between you more intense.

you did so good, baby, he whispered, his voice filled with affection as he stroked your skin. you’re amazing. his words were soft, but there was a warmth in them that made your heart swell, the emotional connection between you two just as strong as the physical one.

you were too exhausted to respond, your body limp beneath him as you tried to catch your breath. heeseung noticed and smiled softly, his hand moving to cup your face as he leaned in for a tender kiss. the kiss was slow and sweet, a stark contrast to the intensity of what you’d just shared, but it felt perfect, a soothing balm after the storm.

rest now, he murmured, his voice gentle as he pulled you close, his body still connected to yours. i’m not going anywhere. his words were a promise, a reassurance that he was here, that he was yours, and that he wasn’t letting go anytime soon.

the two of you lay there, tangled together, your bodies still connected as you caught your breath. the room was filled with the soft sound of your breathing, a comforting reminder of the intense connection you shared, both physically and emotionally.

That’s Me, Baby. (lhs)
That’s Me, Baby. (lhs)

© yvnempire 2024, do not copy, steal, remake or brand my content as yours.

1 week ago

tapes

⋆.˚✮ hard hours

heeseung

jay

jake

sunghoon

sunoo

jungwon

ni-ki

ot7

⋆.˚✮ drabbles

heeseung

jay

jake

sunghoon

sunoo

jungwon

ni-ki

ot7

⋆.˚✮ headcanons

heeseung

jay

jake

sunghoon

sunoo

jungwon

ni-ki

ot7

⋆.˚✮ texts

heeseung

jay

jake

sunghoon

sunoo

jungwon

ni-ki

ot7


Tags
2 months ago

── .✦ found you (sjy)

── .✦ Found You (sjy)

pairing: non idol! jake x fem! reader

synopsis: jake is very well known and loved by everybody on campus. equally popular was his relationship with the captain of the volleyball team, haneul. even more popular, sadly, is his breakup after more than a year. the months following the event take a significant toll on jake, who becomes unrecognizable. his once sweet, friendly and pure nature is replaced by a constant gloomy and somber aura. what happens when this new version of jake sim unexpectedly clashes with a very straightforward and quite intimidating member of the school’s podcast?

genre: acquaintances to friends to lovers , college au , slowburn-ish , fluff , a bit of angst , healing , comfort - wc: 9.3k - warnings: swearing , mention of alcohol , violence (fighting) , cheating (not the main leads) , toxic relationship (not the main leads) , kissing , ft. enhypen (they are all the same age here) , lowercase intended ! , english is not my first language ! , this is a work of fiction and doesn’t reflect the idols in real life ! - author’s notes: i wanted to try and make something longer, i hope you’ll enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! ++ i’m sorry but i absolutely am terrible at writing kissing/intimate scenes. i’m warning you in advance!

────

JAKE SIM IS KNOWN FOR BEING THE NICEST AND SWEETEST BOY ON CAMPUS.

jake sim is known for being one of the most handsome boys on campus.

jake sim is known for being part of the football team, but also for not being a jock, not even in the slightest.

jake sim is known for having dated the captain of the volleyball team, haneul, for more than a year.

but jake sim is mainly known for being cheated on by said girl.

ever since his messy breakup, nothing has been the same. he hasn’t been the same. he doesn’t even remember the last time he genuinely wanted to do something and didn’t have to be dragged out of his dorm room by his friends.

well, at least he still has them.

heeseung, jay and sunghoon are his childhood best friends, they literally grew up together and lived every experience together. even each other’s heartbreaks. they’re great guys, they’ve always been there for jake and he can’t ever complain about them, not even when they start being too insistent on his worst days. at the end of the day, they’re only trying to help. they don’t say it out loud, they never did, but they’re deeply concerned about their best friend.

the breakup took a pretty heavy toll on jake and they slowly had to witness their lively, sweet and considerate friend turn into a gloomy, unenthusiastic and weary guy. he would barely talk, nothing seemed to excite him, not even his biggest passions. that’s why he also quit the football team, even though he was probably the best player. he would spend all his free time locked in his room and he would leave the house exclusively to attend his lessons.

some people may think that this reaction is exaggerated, that he shouldn’t lose himself because of a girl, because of love. but nobody, except for his best friends, knows the real dynamics of the event. what people know and like to talk about in the hallways is that poor jake sim was cheated on by the smoking hot captain of the volleyball team. to be honest, many people used to question why they were even dating in the first place and weren’t surprised when the relationship ended the way it did. i mean, they certainly were a match visually, they are both amongst the most stunning students on campus. but their respective reputations are what made people question their relationship.

jake was known for being one of the best football players on the team, but the total opposite of your typical jock. the same couldn’t be said about haneul. it’s not that she was a player, she was just still stuck on his ex boyfriend, with whom she had always had a sort of an on and off situationship ever since their breakup. but after meeting jake, it looked like she was finally getting over her ex. she hadn’t met him again and she really seemed like she was seriously in love again.

but appearances can be deceiving. and jake was too blinded by love to notice haneul slowly slipping away from him and silently going back to her old habits.

────

“I’M SCREWED.”

you dramatically grumbled as you plopped down in the chair of one of the cafeteria’s tables, your friends already seated.

“what happened now?” jungwon asked, trying to sound concerned, but being betrayed by the amused glint in his cat-like eyes.

“did you make another freshman run away in fear?” teased sunoo.

“or did the principal admonish you again for what you said in the podcast?” suggested ni-ki.

“i really need new friends.” you muttered under your breath.

“okay, okay. sorry. tell us what’s wrong.” jungwon was quick to turn serious, the last thing he wanted was to annoy you even more.

“okay, so. you know yeji, right?” you started.

“the president of your podcast?” sunoo interjected.

“didn’t she leave for her exchange year in europe?” added ni-ki.

“exactly. well, as the substitute president of the podcast, i am in charge of pretty much everything now. and the biggest issue at the moment is to find a new speaker. i was supposed to do it during summer break, but i completely forgot. so now i’m screwed because i have the first meeting with the others in two days and i absolutely have to find someone by then.”

“okay, this could be a problem..” sunoo whispered, making you groan in desperation.

“okay, okay. we can fix this.” jungwon was quick to butt in. “first of all, do you have someone specific in mind? like, a certain kind of person that you think could fit for the role?”

“i mean, i really wanted to find someone really suited for it. but now, i think i’ll just have to settle for whoever i find. and i need to do it quickly.” you grumbled again, annoyed at yourself for having completely forgotten such an important task.

“i think you could still find someone good enough. you could maybe ask someone who knows a lot of people?” sunoo added.

“why don’t you ask heeseung? he’s popular and knows basically half of the students on campus.” suggested ni-ki.

“oh my god! you’re right!” you jumped up, quickly scanning the cafeteria in search of a very familiar face.

“found him! thank you so much, see you guys later.” and then you scurried to the other side of the room, where heeseung was sitting with his usual friends. park jongseong was the first one to see you and immediately knew that something was up.

“why is ___ literally dashing towards us?” he uncertainly asked.

“huh?” heeseung confusedly turned around in his seat and caught sight of your hurried figure. “oh, i think something’s wrong then.”

“yeah, she usually never approaches us.” sunghoon added.

“except for that one time she smacked heeseung across the head because he forgot to pick her up in the morning.” jay quietly snickered, earning a side eye from the boy in question.

“that appended once—“

but your distressed figure sliding in the seat next to jake’s immediately interrupted their playful banter.

“hee—“ you then stopped yourself and acknowledged the boys seated at the table. “oh, right. hi! sorry, guys. i’ll be super quick.”

“what did you do this time?” heeseung rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed, although everybody at the table perfectly knew he had a soft spot for you and always acted like your real brother.

“shut up! this is serious! i’m screwed, my reputation is at stake here! i’m going to fail and they’re going to tell her and she’ll personally come back from paris or london or whatever city she’s in just to look me dead in the eyes and tell me, ‘you are a fucking idiot’. i’m screwed, seung!” you dramatically started to ramble, heeseung and his best friends just weirdly staring at you, but with a hint of amusement in their eyes.

you, jay, jake and sunghoon could be considered acquaintances, you would briefly talk on sporadic occasions like that one. they also knew you because of the podcast and your reputation on campus. the two things were actually quite connected together. people would see you as this straightforward, strong, intimidating girl who wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. and not only during the school’s podcast.

“slow down, tiger. what the hell are you talking about?”

“so, you know that i’m the new president of the podcast until yeji comes back.. right?” you narrowed your eyes at him, to which he vigorously nodded his head.

“good. well, now we fall short of one speaker. and i might have been the one in charge of finding another one. during summer break. but i completely forgot. and now the meeting for the podcast is in two days and i absolutely have no one in mind!” you hopelessly banged your head on the table’s surface.

heeseung reached forward and softly patted your head, making you groan in frustration.

“don’t show affection, i’ll feel worse.” you swatted his hand away, making him scoff.

“why don’t you just ask someone random? like the first person you see in the hallway or in your class that looks even vaguely capable?” suggested jay.

“that’s exactly the last thing i want to do.” you deadpanned.

“yeah, that’s not going to work. she’s too much of a perfectionist to just settle for that.” your friend explained.

“i wanted to find someone who could fit for the task properly, i don’t want just anybody. but now i don’t have enough time and i really have to listen to jongseong’s terrible advice.”

the last part made his friends laugh amused, even jake cracked a little smile and it didn’t pass unnoticed by anybody at the table. not even you. of course you knew sim jaeyun. and of course you had heard the voices that circulated about him.

“jongseong? not even ‘jay’? wow, you must really hate me.” jay scoffed in disbelief.

“well, does it make any difference? we’re barely acquaintances anyways.” you reasoned.

“fair enough.” he mumbled, you were right after all.

“so, why are you telling us this?” heeseung butted in.

“because you know a lot of people. and maybe among these many people you know someone who can be a decent enough speaker?” you explained, slowly darting your eyes to each one of them with a hopeful and persuasive expression on your face.

“sorry, i only know figure skaters, but they won’t have free time to record it.” sunghoon was the first one to turn you down, followed by the others.

only jake still hadn’t answered you, so you slowly turned to him with an overexaggerated sweet smile on your face, making him grimace.

“ah, don’t look at me. i don’t know anyone who could help you.” he shook his head, making you groan in defeat.

“wait.. why don’t you do it?” your friend suddenly proposed, looking directly at the boy seated next to you.

“no way, man. are you crazy?” he immediately refused, pure terror written on his features.

“why not? you have a lot of free time now, trying something new could do you good.” jay tried to reason too, but the sim boy seemed hard to convince.

“that’s not a good idea—“

“don’t worry, i’ll manage to find someone. thanks anyways.” you sent them a quick and tight-lipped smile as you stood up. that was clearly turning into a personal conversation and you thought it felt wrong to listen to it.

as soon as you were out of earshot, the boys swiftly turned towards jake with pointed expressions.

“what?” he exclaimed, exasperated.

“i was serious, jake.” started jay. “why don’t you give it a shot?”

“and talk about what? seriously, i’m not in the right mental space to commit to something like that.”

“that’s exactly the reason why you should do it!” sunghoon exclaimed, almost fed up by his friend’s stubbornness.

“also, i think ___’s influence could do you good. i’m positive she would be able to really challenge you and maybe bring out something that’s stuck deep inside of you.” heeseung honestly added.

“something like what?” jake furrowed his eyebrows, not fully understanding what his friend was hinting at.

“passion, determination, purpose.”

“and maybe the old you.” whispered jay, but not low enough.

“the old me is dead. live with it.” jake suddenly snapped, standing up.

his friends let out heavy breaths as they silently watched him quickly maneuver his way out of the cafeteria.

on the opposite side of the room, you had sat down back with your friends and explained your failed attempt to the guys. by chance, you had looked around and caught the exact moment in which jake lost his temper and decided to flee from whatever conversation he was having with the others. you had never admitted it to anybody, not even yourself, but there was something about jake’s situation that made you unable to overlook it.

you weren’t one to meddle in other people’s business and you couldn’t stand gossip. but when it came to jake sim, something seemed to pull at your heartstrings every single time. maybe it was because you would see the pain and worry hidden behind heeseung’s eyes every time he would briefly mention him in a conversation. or maybe it was because, even if you didn’t personally know jake and had never had a proper conversation with him, you still had witnessed his radical change in personality, just like everyone else.

────

JAKE DIDN’T ATTEND ANY LESSONS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.

his mind was too busy relentlessly replaying the conversation had during lunch break. he started pondering over that suggestion, thinking if he could really fit for the role and if it could really help him. it’s not that he didn’t want to change, to go back to his old ways, to feel alive again. it’s just that he was scared. in the past months, he had kind of found comfort in his pain and he had learnt to live in his own misery. thinking about change and going out of his comfort zone immediately caused the now all too familiar feeling of uneasiness to take control over him.

he was now quietly sitting on the bleachers of the football field, the place that held so many memories, the place where he had always felt fearless, invincible, free. where he had just always felt himself. it was still his safe space. as hard as it was to admit it, he regretted quitting the team every single day, but at the same time he still couldn’t find enough strength in himself to go back to it, to his biggest passion. so he would go there when he needed time alone to think or to simply relish the calmness of the usually not so quiet place while everyone else was having lessons.

suddenly, his eyes caught sight of a figure running laps in the football field, making him furrow his eyebrows. but his expression quickly morphed into one of surprise upon recognizing your face.

why were you running laps? were you skipping your lessons, too? were you perhaps trying to escape reality like he was doing?

your eyes met for a split second, in which he noticed a flash of recognition in your gaze, too. then you kept going and he kept sitting there, deep in his thoughts once again.

the next time you saw each other was that same evening, at the convenience store near the dorms. you were already patiently waiting for your turn at the cash register when he got in line right behind you. then you turned around and accidentally made eye contact with him.

“oh, hi.” you awkwardly greeted him.

“hello.” he greeted back, equally uncomfortable.

it was just a bit weird seeing each other for the third time that day, but not being close at all. especially because you would usually never cross paths, let alone multiple times in less than 24 hours. that was really unusual.

when it was finally your turn to pay, you discovered that you had stupidly forgotten your wallet at the dorm, and you started to mentally curs yourself for the embarrassment you were enduring. but before you could dig the deepest hole on the ground, right there in front of everyone, and disappear from the face of the earth, a sudden voice coming from your left brought you back to reality.

“it’s okay, add my stuff as well. i’ll pay for the both of us.” he told the cashier, swiftly standing right next to you to divide the items into two plastic bags.

“what? wait, you don’t have to—“ you tried to protest, but to no use.

“it’s really not a big deal, ___.” he quickly gazed at you and shrugged his shoulders unbothered while paying.

once outside, you kept thanking him and asking him how you could repay him, but he only kept dismissing all your attempts.

“i saw you today, at the field.” he decided to change the subject instead.

“yeah, i saw you too.” you replied a bit hesitantly, not sure why he was bringing that up.

“do you run often?”

“do you sit there often?” you fired back. he was clearly taken aback by that defensive answer.

“only when i need to be alone with my thoughts.” he honestly answered, surprising you.

“well, it’s the opposite for me. i try to run away from them.” you had no idea how you had ended up opening up to an almost stranger, it must have been the time, but nevertheless it almost felt right, the initial awkwardness now a distant memory.

“still worried for the podcast?” he asked, seeming genuinely interested.

“yeah.” you let out a heavy sight. “i can’t believe i forgot the most important thing.” you started rumbling mostly to yourself.

“what if i really joined it?” his mouth spoke quicker than his mind could process it, startling not only you, but himself as well.

“what? why? are you saying this just out of pity? weren’t you completely against the idea of it just this morning?” you furrowed your eyebrows, something seemed off to you.

“i don’t know, i was really thinking about it today. maybe my friends are right.” he shrugged. “you’re not convinced.” he stated right after seeing your doubtful expression.

“would you even be truly interested in it?” you pried further with a slight tone of skepticism.

“why not? could be fun. but i clearly see you don’t want me to do it.” he crossed his arms, almost as if he was trying to challenge you.

and he was starting to piss you off.

“change my mind then.” you mocked his gesture, raising an eyebrow without even trying to hide your growing annoyance.

“i regularly listen to the podcast. and i have a lot of free time since i’m not on the football team anymore.” he confidently replied.

“how long have you been listening to the podcast?” you fired back once again, it really was beginning to sound like an interrogation and he couldn’t help but feel amused by your seriousness.

you clearly weren’t playing.

but that specific question suddenly made jake remember a not so little detail, hence why you were able to notice a faint change in his expression, a glimpse of something deeper, painful maybe.

“since my.. uh.. ex-girlfriend introduced me to it. so for almost two years now.” at the mere mention of the girl, he quickly averted his gaze to the ground, feeling oddly exposed.

it’s like he could already hear all the whispered gossip about his breakup over and over again. and he couldn’t stand it anymore. for a moment there, he thought he was going to hear them again, but from you.

“that’s even more than me, i only joined this year.” you muttered, hating the idea that he might be right.

you didn’t even acknowledge the first part of the reply and you knew for a fact that he was grateful for that. sure, he was starting to get on your nerves with that challenging and almost mocking attitude, and you could have easily let out one of your harsh comebacks. at the end of the day, that’s what people knew you for. you were the girl with the sharp tongue, the one people should be wary of and careful not to get on her bad side. but you weren’t heartless and you had empathy, something that all those people clearly lacked, since they would easily talk about other people’s business like they were discussing the weather, even the most private and delicate matters.

“and since then you’ve always been my favorite, you know?” he added, a smug look on his face as soon as he realized he might be winning that improvised debate.

“are you trying to get into my good graces?” you scoffed, raising an eyebrow.

“what? no, i’m serious.” he immediately denied, looking almost offended. “i’ve always liked how straightforward you are and i admire the way you word things. like, it’s so clear and captivating, it always makes me want to listen so attentively to anything you say.”

since when was he so straightforward and honest?

“oh.” you murmured, trying to hide your flustered self, but it was all in vain, jake had already noticed it and thankfully decided not to comment on it.

“well..” you cleared your throat before continuing. “thank you, jake. it seems you have a good way with words, too.” you painfully let out.

he was so winning.

“so, did i change your mind?” he teased, slightly leaning in, waiting for an answer. you scoffed, rolling your eyes and poking a finger at his chest.

“maybe.” you lightly pushed him away. “i’ll let you know. and if i don’t, then it means i didn’t choose you. now, good night.”

you were already a few steps ahead, when his voice suddenly caused you to stop in your tracks.

“wait! you don’t have my number.” he pondered out loud.

“don’t need to. i’ll find you.”

those were the last words you spoke to him and the ones he somehow kept replaying in his head for the rest of the night.

────

YOU FOUND HIM AGAIN BY THE FOOTBALL FIELD A FEW DAYS LATER.

he was surprised to see you approaching him, to be honest, he had quickly given up on you, thinking you were just messing with him and wouldn’t really choose him.

well, he was wrong.

you sat yourself down next to him on the metal bench and looked at him straight in the eyes. that fierce eye contact made him shiver.

“congratulations, jake. you are officially part of the podcast.” you monotonously let him know.

“are you serious?” he widened his eyes.

“i’m not repeating myself.” you narrowed your eyes at him, making him scoff.

“well, thank you.” he genuinely smiled at you.

it was probably the first time in a long time seeing him smile like that again and your breath almost got stuck in your throat. he looked so different while doing so, he looked even better, more handsome.

wait, what the hell were you even saying?

“___? are you okay?” jake hesitantly waved a hand in front of your eyes, bringing you back to reality.

“oh.. yeah. uhm.. anyways.” you cleared your throat, flustered by the fact that you were staring at him while lost in your thoughts. “i need your schedule, so that i can adapt it with the ones of everyone else’s and make a plan for this year’s meetings and recordings.” you started explaining.

“sure. if you give me your number, i’ll send it to you. it’s easier that way.” he proposed.

you scoffed and narrowed your eyes at him.

“nice try. but as i’ve told you before, i’ll find you. just be ready with a copy of it.”

as you bid goodbye, and then throughout the rest of the day, you somehow couldn’t help but replay jake’s sweet and genuine smile over and over again.

he looked so warm, so like himself. his old self.

────

THE FIRST MEETING OF THE SCHOOL’S PODCAST HAD JUST ENDED.

you had introduced jake to all the members and explained to him all he needed to know. then you started to brainstorm a few ideas for some episodes and you had to admit, the ideas that he came up with were not so bad.

throughout the meeting, you found yourself paying a little extra attention to jake. you just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t feel too uncomfortable in the new environment. by observing him, you noticed how he was very serious and collected while attentively listening to everything that was being said. it almost looked like he was absorbing every single information. but you had no idea if he was enjoying it so far. that’s why you decided to stop him while everyone else was leaving.

“so, what do you think?”

“i like it so far, it seems very interesting.” he drily replied.

that was another thing you clearly noticed that day. he looked like he was avoiding you, which was weird, because you weren’t even friends. so that’s why you tried not to look too much into his behavior, assuming you were probably just overthinking and overanalyzing trivial details. but the answer he just gave you, with that cold tone and without even looking you in the eyes, made you instantly reconsider everything.

“good.” you nodded, stoically, matching his tone and energy.

“good.” he nodded back. “then i’m off. see you next time.” he murmured and left the room in no time.

“yeah.. see you.” you muttered to yourself.

the two of you didn’t speak again until the first day of recordings and the worst thing was that you had to sit next to each other and discuss different topics together. the moment you sat down, you could already sense the awkwardness seeping from the both of you. you couldn’t even look at each other, or better, jake couldn’t. of course the other members noticed the uncomfortable aura between you two and tried to ease the tension as best as they could. but jake simply looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there and you were getting more pissed off by the second.

“okay, uhm. i’ll turn on the camera on the count of three, the mics are already on, so let’s just start with ___’s intro and then jake’s small presentation. okay?” stated one of the guys.

unfortunately, since the first second, everybody in the room could sense and see with their own eyes how stiff you both looked. which was painful to watch. and you were well aware of it. jake looked bored and sounded monotonous, he was mumbling and just wasn’t saying anything relevant or slightly interesting. you tried to avoid it at first, pretending everything was going just fine. but that didn’t last for long and your patience ran thin in a very short amount of time.

“okay, that’s enough.” you suddenly snapped. “i’m sorry, guys. let’s take a five minute break, okay?” you sent them a tight lipped smile.

“jake, can we talk outside for a second?” you then coldly directed your attention at him, to which he merely nodded at you, but still followed you in the hallway.

“okay, listen up.” you pointed a finger at him, slowly getting closer and closer while he tried to step back. “i don’t know what your problem is and i don’t even care. the only thing i’m asking you is to get your shit together and act like a responsible person. you are the one who fucking volunteered for this, so act like you want to do it or just leave. you’re wasting all these people’s time, people who are just as busy with college and personal life as you are.”

you were so caught up in your anger that you didn’t notice you had now cornered him against the wall, while he was just embarrassingly staring at you. he was of course ashamed of his behavior, everything you told him was right, but he was especially flustered by your close proximity. the way you were so fiercely putting him into place, standing up for the work of the podcast’s members on behalf of their president, was just madly attractive. but he would never admit that out loud.

you too realized how close you two had gotten and swiftly took a step back while awkwardly coughing.

“seriously, i don’t know what’s going on with you. but if you’re going through a hard time, that’s not an excuse to act like this.” your voice softened a little, but your gaze remained sharp. “can i ask you something?” you then let out after a long sight.

he only nodded in reply.

“why did you decide to join?”

maybe it was your straightforwardness, or the way you softened when hinting at his possible personal problems. maybe it was the fact that even if you were mad, you still weren’t yelling at him, degrading him and making him feel like a walking soulless failure. maybe it was the fact that in that moment, he noticed something deeper in you that people normally wouldn’t see, because they would never get this close to you. maybe it was a combination of all these things that made his walls partially crumble.

“that day at lunch, after you left our table, the boys tried to convince me to join this. they think it could be good for me, that doing something new might help me. they want the old me back. hell, i want the old me back. but i don’t know how to do it. and i guess that your personality moved something in me, from the few times we spoke together. and that scared me, so i started acting like an asshole. i’m really sorry, ___. thank you for opening my eyes.”

you surely weren’t expecting all this honesty, that’s why it took you a moment to register everything he had said. but when you did, everything started to make more sense. you didn’t regret your angry approach, but you surely had discovered a new side of him. and you maybe were starting to reconsider him as a person.

“i understand.” you slowly nodded, but what he noticed was the almost subtle change in your eyes, a softer gaze now replacing the fierce one from before. “so, do you still want to give it a try?” you questioned with a hint of challenge in your voice, which made him slightly turn the corners of his mouth upwards.

“let’s do this.” he nodded determinedly and followed you back inside.

after deeply apologizing to everyone, jake sat down next to you again, a more relaxed expression on both of your faces. and so the first episode of the podcast was successfully recorded and that day, the both of you left campus with a new understanding of each other.

────

TIME REALLY DOES FLY SOMETIMES.

because a month had already passed and you and jake were skillfully recording episode after episode. that experience involuntarily brought you closer, making you two discover one another on a deeper level, until you ended up being friends. so now jake’s lunch table and yours became a single one, your respective friends getting along surprisingly well.

and so that’s why you were at sunghoon’s house, on a friday night, celebrating his and ni-ki’s birthdays. when the two guys found out they were born only one day from one another, they immediately planned to celebrate their birthdays together. and they kept their word.

you’ve never been a big party lover, that’s why, at one point in the night, you decided to take a break from the loud music, cheers and laughter and wandered off in search of a quieter place to stay at for a little while. however, your plan turned out to be harder than you had predicted, since sunghoon’s house was massive, and ended up standing in the back garden. but you weren’t alone. in front of you, standing by the pool, there was jake. he was speaking on the phone and by the looks of it, it really seemed like he was arguing with someone. since you didn’t want to eavesdrop and violate his privacy, you were going to turn around and leave him alone, but one particularly strained bit of the conversation caught your attention.

“leave me alone, haneul. it’s been almost a year and only now you decide to apologize and explain why you fucking cheated on me? why now, huh? why now when i’m finally happier? why now that i’m finally getting over you?”

his voice was loud, but incredibly weak and tired. arguing with her was the last thing that he expected to be doing that night and to be completely honest, he was fighting the urge to just hang up in her face. but deep down, he was well aware that a part of him would have still felt guilty. you took it as your queue to leave, it didn’t feel right with you to overhear such a personal conversation.

as your new quiet destination, you opted for the kitchen, which to your luck was completely empty. you grabbed a bottle of beer and sat on the counter, your feet dangling while you looked around. after only a couple of minutes, you saw jake’s figure approaching you, a small smile on his face as soon as you caught his eyes. but behind that apparent tranquillity, you were able to pick up the uneasiness from the recent phone call.

“found you! what are you doing here all alone?” he came to your side, propping his elbow on the counter, close to your exposed tight, and staring up at you. your breath got almost caught in your throat and you mentally cursed yourself for finding that simple gesture so attractive.

what was going with you lately?

“just needed a quieter place to recharge, you know?” you shrugged your shoulders, without breaking the eye contact.

“i saw you before, in the back garden.” he suddenly revealed, making you widen your eyes and turn a dark shade of red.

“don’t worry.” he quickly added with a light laugh. “you didn’t interrupt anything important.” he reassured you.

“i overheard just a little bit of your conversation, then i immediately left. i’m sorry.” you looked everywhere but at him, flustered.

“don’t apologize.” he murmured. he then delicately brought his hand up to your chin, in order to make your head turn to look at him. you just stopped there for a little while, simply admiring one another, almost as if you were trying to memorize as many details of each other’s features as possible.

“are you okay?” you eventually found the courage to whisper, pure concern etched on your face.

and that incredibly warmed jake’s heart. seeing you caring for him and asking how he was doing made his heart beat way faster than it was supposed to. it wasn’t often that someone would stop and ask him if he was doing okay. most of the time, even his family and friends would just look at him sympathetically and avoid the topic as much as possible, knowing he wouldn’t answer them even if they tried. but with you, it was completely different. there was something about you that made him question everything. that was your power. your fierceness, your way of thinking and formulating your thoughts, your challenging nature. all these things pushed him, threw him off guard at times and made him look up to you. and also look forward to the podcast’s recordings.

he still remembers his friends’ words that day during lunch: “i think ___’s influence could do you good. i’m positive she would be able to really challenge you and maybe bring out something that’s stuck deep inside of you. passion, determination, purpose.” heeseung had said. “and maybe the old you.” jay had also added.

the old him. to be honest, it would be impossible to go back to the old him, because that would imply going back to his old life. however, he was starting to embrace a new version of himself, a version that combined his old traits and his new ones. the essence of who he was was slowly coming back, but it was accompanied by the hurt he was still healing from.

“jake? are you there?” you waved a hand in front of his face, bringing him back from his thoughts.

“sorry, got lost in my head for a moment.” he sheepishly smiled up at you.

“what were you thinking so intensely about?” you softly giggled.

oh, what an angelic sound. he truly could listen to it nonstop for the rest of his life.

“do you think i’m on the right path to finding myself again?” he honestly asked, making you smile fondly.

“well, would you have asked anyone this question a few months ago?” you asked back.

“i see your point.” he nodded happily. “then, i have to thank you.” he stated seriously.

“me? why?” you furrowed your eyebrows, that was new.

“thanks to you i feel like i have a purpose again and like i’m actually doing something useful, productive. i’m not just existing and letting the days go by while i’m stuck in my head with my bad memories. i finally have something to look forward to. and someone.”

you were speechless, to say the least. a whirlwind of emotions was making its way inside you, leaving you almost out of breath. seeing him being so vulnerable in front of your eyes, thanking you for something so important, something that you didn’t even realize you were doing, it was just a lot to comprehend.

“yun, i don’t even know what to say.” you breathlessly let out. “i didn’t even know i was helping you this much, but i’m glad i unconsciously did. you deserve to be happy again.” you genuinely smiled, every word coming out of your mouth enhancing his sudden desire to just smash his lips on yours.

you tentatively reach for his face, brushing a loose strand of his hair out of his eyes and then cupping his cheek to softly brush your thumb on his soft skin. jake’s complexion turned a faint pink, but he didn’t care. not if it was in front of you.

“yun?” he softly smiled, his heart beating rapidly upon hearing the new nickname.

“oh, i’m sorry—“

“no.” he shook his head. “i love it.”

“i’m glad you found me.” he added right after, closing his eyes to bask in the softness of your touch.

“and i’m glad i found you.”

────

BEING AWOKEN BY YOUR PHONE BUZZING AT TWO IN THE MORNING HADN’T CLEARLY BEEN ON YOUR AGENDA.

looking at the display, you read sunghoon’s name and confusedly furrowed your eyebrows. why was he calling you in the middle of the night?

“sunghoon? what’s wrong?” you groggily answered the phone.

“hi, ___. i’m so sorry to call you at this hour, but there’s a kind of.. situation.” you could sense the nervousness in his tone and you could also hear muffled sounds and hushed voices in the background.

“did something happen?”

“yeah.. uhm, it’s jake.” at the mention of the boy’s name, your heart skipped a beat. “we are at a party and jake might have drunk a little too much after he talked— no, i should let him explain it to you. the point is, he fought a random guy and now that he’s more sober, he’s kinda.. struggling?”

you were so confused, especially because he wasn’t talking directly and was clearly hiding something from you.

“hoon, i hate when you talk in circles. is he hurt? are you trying to ask me to come to you?” you went straight to the point, making the guy let out a breath of relief.

“yes, please. he’s not that hurt, just a few scratches. it’s just that.. he’s very emotional at the moment and we don’t really know what to do. nothing seems to help.” he admitted.

“and why do you think i could help instead?” you raised a brow.

“because it’s you.”

“ass-kisser.” you playfully scoffed. “text me the address, i’ll be there as soon as i can.”

entering what you assumed was a frat boy’s house with a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie surely caught people’s attention.

thankfully, you didn’t have to look around the massive house in search of any of your friends, because heeseung and jay were already approaching you.

“thank you so much for coming, ___-ie. we really don’t know what to do.” heeseung sounded almost desperate.

“what even happened?” you asked, confusion and concern etched onto your features.

“haneul approached him as soon as he arrived here. they badly argued and then he just started drinking nonstop. after a mere hour, he was already shitfaced and picked up a fight with a random dude who just accidentally knocked into him. but don’t worry, it was just a couple punches and it was all over.” he started to explain. “and now that the effect of the alcohol is almost completely gone, he’s just elaborating on everything that happened, mainly the conversation with haneul i assume, and he’s been crying and on edge for the past hour. we don’t know how to calm him down.” finished jay.

they led you upstairs and into one of the guest rooms. and there he was, sitting at the edge of the bed with his fingers almost painfully tugging at his hair. he was mumbling incoherent words as sunghoon was standing in front of him, trying to reassure him. as soon as your steps became audible, both of their gazes snapped in your direction, making you almost jump. at the sight of your small, reassuring smile, jake’s eyes automatically welled up with tears.

“why did you call her?” he let out in a broken sob, covering his face shamefully.

“thanks for coming, ___. we’ll be outside in the hallway if you need us.” sunghoon swiftly approached you, not before giving jake an affectionate pat on the shoulder. you nodded and slowly approached the broken guy, sitting close next to him.

“jake, it’s okay. don’t hide from me, i’m never going to judge you.” you softly called out, resting a hand on his back and slowly patting it in circles.

“i’m sorry you have to see me like this. and i’m sorry you had to come here in the middle of the night. were you sleeping?” he mumbled in his hands.

“nothing to be sorry about, of course i would come for you.” you softly smiled, your words finally making him look up at you. seeing his red and puffy eyes clench your heart, you couldn’t stand the idea of him suffering. you subconsciously reached for his face, drying his tears with your thumb and making jake flustered. you only smiled endearingly at his rosy cheeks.

“are you hurt?” you then asked, delicately angling his face more towards you to look for any possible wounds. you took his hands next to do the same and let out a sight of relief when you didn’t find anything. but when you were about to loosen the grip on his hand, jake tightened it and began to softly caress your knuckles with his thumb. you properly looked at him, at his features, at the pain and sorrow hidden behind his expression, but that somehow you were always able to effortlessly notice it.

“do you want to talk about it?” you whispered, afraid you were maybe crossing a line, or moving too fast.

realization hit him, they had told you. he heavily sighted, but decided it was time to finally open up and tell you the whole story from the beginning. he trusted you, he deeply cared for you, he considered you important. there weren’t any more reasons to keep denying it to himself.

“i’ll have to start from the very beginning, though.” he murmured, squeezing your hand as if to seek comfort.

“and i’m here to listen to everything you want to confide in me.” you squeezed his hand back.

and so he did.

he told you how him and haneul met and got together, he explained the toxic situation between her and her ex-boyfriend and he painfully described how he caught the two making out in an empty hallway on campus. he then delved into the details of his former relationship, describing how it wasn’t as perfect as it looked from the outside. he opened up about haneul’s toxic behavior, how she would love bomb him when she was in a good mood, and then yell the worst and most degrading things at him when she wouldn’t feel well. she also often compared him to her ex, or to any other popular guy.

“i was so exhausted. i knew it was toxic and i knew i had to leave her. but i just couldn’t. i mean, i was in love with her, we dated for more than a year and she started acting like that only in the last few months, when she started to go back to her ex. every time she would hurt me, i would tell myself that it was going to be the last time, that i was finally breaking up with her. but then i would recall all of our good memories, all the times she had been a good girlfriend. plus, she would apologize every time and, i don’t know, she sounded so genuine, like her old self. i couldn’t find it in me to break it off. i feel so stupid, i should have been stronger—“

“don’t ever say it again. it’s not your fault.” you immediately cut him off, maybe a bit too harshly, making him look down on the floor. “no, hey, look at me.” you quickly softened your tone. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to sound mean. i just can’t stand seeing you like this and on top of it all, blaming yourself for something that someone else did to you. please, believe me when i tell you that it’s not your fault.”

you didn’t even realize you had started crying until you felt jake’s thumb softly caress your cheeks and dry your tears, just like you had previously done to him. but then, he let his desire and amplified emotions get the best of him, and he found himself slowly inching closer and closer to your face, his gaze dangerously dropping down to your lips. he couldn’t do it anymore, he couldn’t stand the tension between the two of you anymore. he was far gone, completely whipped for you. in his eyes, you were just perfect, you always knew what to say, you could understand him perfectly and you truly, genuinely cared about him. whether it was through words or gestures, you had let him know how important you considered him, probably even without fully realizing it.

your breath itched upon realizing what he was trying to do. you would be lying if you stated that you didn’t want to kiss him. your feelings weren’t completely clear to you yet, but you couldn’t deny the tension between you two anymore. however, on the other hand, your common sense also butted in. was it the right time to kiss each other? when he was so vulnerable and still upset? you didn’t want to take advantage of him and risk him regretting it later on.

“yun, i don’t think right now it’s the right time.” you found the strength to whisper, your hot breath fanning over his lips.

“are you rejecting me?” he murmured, resting his forehead on yours and closing his eyes, afraid of the possible answer.

“no.. i just don’t want to take advantage of your vulnerable state. you’re not thinking completely straight and you’re still shaken up by everything that happened.” you tenderly explained, cupping his cheek with one hand.

“but, will we talk about this?” he hopefully questioned, opening his puppy eyes again and almost melting you on the spot.

“of course, whenever you want. just, not right now. okay?” you smiled, making him vigorously nod.

“thank you, you found me this time too.” he whispered.

“i’ll always find you, yun.”

────

EXAMS WERE APPROACHING.

you could sense it from the extreme nervousness running through your whole body. you, jungwon and heeseung decided to meet up at a café to try and get more work done, but you knew your plans wouldn’t last long as soon as you saw the two guys looking knowingly at each other and then directly at you. you huffed an annoyed breath, mimicking crossing your arms.

“spit it out.” you impatiently demanded, causing a wide, sly smile to form on their lips.

“what’s the deal with jake?” heeseung went straight to the point.

“there’s no deal. we’re friends, you know that.” you scoffed.

“close friends.” jungwon suggestively raised his eyebrows.

“just say whatever bullshit you two have in mind.” you huffed once again, making him pout.

“it’s not bullshit! we’re serious, he told us what happened that night. why haven’t you discussed it yet?” he pried.

“i don’t think that would be a good idea.” you avoided their eyes, looking down on your notes.

“why do you say that?” heeseung softly asked.

“you know why.”

“he’s over her, you know it too.” jungwon pointed out.

“yeah, but he still hasn’t completely healed, yet. and he trusts me, he completely opened up to me. hell, he told me everything, every little detail. i can’t find it in myself to disrupt his newfound balance, even if he feels the same way about me.”

“i think you should go for it anyway. trust me, you won’t ruin anything. on the contrary, you’ll only do him good.”

“huh? what are you trying to say?” you furrowed your forehead, feigning cluelessness, when in reality you had probably a vague idea of what they were referring to.

heeseung knew that and rolled his eyes at you, but decided to still please you and tell you directly. “we shouldn’t tell you this, but he keeps talking about you and about what happened that night. he nonstop keeps sulking because you still haven’t talked it out and he badly wants to, but he’s afraid you’ll reject him and he prefers to wait for you to give him the okay to talk. but he’s ready, ___. he’s been ready for quite a while now. so piss off and go talk to him.” he sternly commanded.

“what? now? that’s a bit—“

well, they managed to convince you. and now there you were, seated at the bleachers by the football court, watching jake train with his former team. when you texted jake to meet up, the last thing you expected to read was the text he sent you: “i’m about to start practice, but you can come and watch me. we’ll talk afterwards.”

since when was he on the football team again? why didn’t he tell you? was he going to quit the podcast?

so many questions started to invade your mind, typical of you and your overthinking. and you were so deep in your concerns that you didn’t even notice jake approaching you, already showered and changed.

“hey, there! what got you so deep in your thoughts?” he softly giggled, making your heart melt for a short instant. but then you remembered the whole reason why you were so out of it in the first place.

“are you back in the team?” was the first thing you asked.

“kind of. since coach is still very pissed at me for leaving in the first place, he’s making me practice again, but i won’t be able to actually play and be officially back until next season.” he calmly explained.

“wow, i didn’t know you were considering it. wait, but does that mean you’re going to quit the podcast? i mean, you’ll be busier and you have to also think about your exams. i don’t want to burden you with the podcast, so if you feel like quitting, then i’m going to respect-“ you nervously started to rumble, agitating your hands in the air for more emphasis.

in that moment, jake found you incredibly adorable, and the urge to shut you up with a kiss became almost unbearable.

“hey, hey! slow down, tiger!” he genuinely laughed, ruffling your hair and sitting right next to you. “i’m not quitting, don’t worry. i still have enough time to do everything, don’t worry.”

“are you sure? i swear, i’m not going to be upset if you want to quit.” you insisted, concern etched onto your features.

“i’m 100% sure. now, what did you want to talk about?” he curiously asked, unconsciously leaning over towards you.

“uhm.. well—shit, how can i say it..” you started to nervously ramble to yourself, making jake suspiciously raise an eyebrow.

“what got you so stressed out you can’t even say it out loud? it’s unlike you to struggle being straightforward.” he pointed out, a knowing smirk fighting to form on his face; he knew what you were most definitely trying to confess.

but he was right. you were known for never being afraid to say what you truly thought, so were you really going to let emotions get in the way of your usual confidence?

of course not.

“you know, you’re right. i’m going to be straightforward, like always. but.. promise not to run away!” you quickly pleaded, softly clutching his arm.

at the sudden touch, jake felt a jolt of electricity go through him and had to try his best not to let it shine through.

“i promise, ___-ie.”

you took a deep breath, looked at him straight in the eyes and finally let out the words that you were dreading so much.

“jake, i have feelings for you. please, don’t run away.” you immediately let go of his arm and cast your gaze to the floor, too flustered and scared to keep eye contact.

on the other hand, jake was grinning like an idiot.

“and why do you think i would run away?”

“because you’re feeling so much better and you finally found a balance in your life and i don’t want my feelings to scare you away or make you uncomfortable. i mean, i know we were about to kiss and everything, but you weren’t in the right state of mind. so i started overthinking, like always, and convinced myself that you had regretted it or you didn’t feel ready. but then today i was studying with heeseung and jungwon and they convinced me to talk to you—“ “___” “and they were like hinting at you reciprocating my feelings and wanting to talk about it, but honestly, i’m still hesitant—“ “___, hey!” “i don’t want to ruin thing between us and i don’t want to rush you into anything. i mean, i know you’re finally healing and feeling so much better, i don’t want to cause any damage—“

not finding any other way to make you stop cutely rambling, he opted for the thing he’s been dreading the most in the past few weeks: he smashed his lips on yours, finally being able to shut you up. the kiss was slow, sweet and a bit uncertain. it was filled with unspoken feelings, deep understanding and affection.

“you weren’t kidding when you said you tend to heavily ramble when you get nervous.” he was the first to break the silence, teasingly smirking at you. “but i love it.”

“yeah?” you breathlessly let out, looking at him still in a daze. you were still trying to process everything.

“yeah.” he happily giggled, planting a quick kiss on your cheek, only making you more flustered. “___, i like you so, so, so much. you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, i’m dead serious. you literally saved me and i’ll forever be grateful for it. but i feel ready, you don’t have to worry about anything. you’ve taken care of me for all these months, now i feel like it’s time i reciprocate it and start taking care of you. but as your boyfriend, if you’ll let me.”

“are you asking me out, sim?” you teased.

“only if you say yes.”

and then he suddenly retrieved two tickets from his pocket, but they weren’t simple tickets. they were concert tickets for your favorite artist.

“jake! you didn’t!” you gasped, looking repeatedly at him and the tickets in his hands with wide eyes.

“i did.” he vigorously nodded. “i remember you talking about it in one of our first podcast’s episodes. i actually bought them a few weeks ago, i was planning to confess my feelings and ask you out, but i couldn’t find the right moment and then you anticipated me.” he sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

“you are absolutely crazy, yun. thank you so much.” you quickly pulled him into a bone-crushing embrace.

“i’ll take it as a yes, then?” he giggled in your ear.

“of course, yun!”

“i’m glad we found each other, i wouldn’t imagine all of this with anybody else.” he softly whispered, caressing your head with one hand.

“me too. i’ll always find you, yun. that’s a promise.”

────

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© 2024 all rights reserved to user whjluv

2 months ago

caught - reader x ni-ki

warnings : smut, nsfw, aphrodisiac induced, explicit language, etc.

Caught - Reader X Ni-ki

you had just gotten home, it was really too hot outside. your body were sticky with sweat from the walk back and swear,

it was one of the worst feeling ever.

the first thing you did was hop into the shower and let the cool water soothe your overheated skin.

and while drying yourself in the living room, you also emptied your bag onto the table. there's your phone, wallet, make up... until your eyes landed on a small box of chocolates.

your friend had shoved it into your bag earlier, complaining hers was too full.

curious, you snapped a photo and sent it to her.

[you sent a photo]

you: can i try this?

minutes passed but there's no reply, and longer you stared at the box, the more you thought, just one, why not?

so you ate one out, popping it into your mouth without any second thought.

you started to feel... weird, after a while. your cheeks flushed, your breathing grew heavier, and your body suddenly felt restless in a different way.

you had just stepped out of the shower, yet your skin felt hotter than before.

your nipples hardened too, you started pressing your legs together involuntarily. just groaning, tossing and turning against the couch, grasping for relief, while your mind wandered.

you miss your boyfriend.

your tall, gorgeous, dancer boyfriend. the man who had the most perfect face and body, perfect hands, hands that knew every inch of you. hands that could grip your hips as he fuck you from behind, he could wrap it around your throat and make you whimper. his voice, his smile...

"riki..."

"fuck," you exhaled, the towel had already slipped off your body while you were rushing to your bedroom. you sat over a pillow and rolled your hips fast and desperate.

your fingers dug into it as you rocked harder, imagining the way your boyfriend can fill you up, how good he feels inside you. your mind replayed the last time he had you pinned against the wall or bed, fucking you so deep you were actually going dumb and crying. you missed him. you missed his weight pressing you down, his breath against your ear, his cock stretching you open-

and ni-ki's heart had nearly stopped when he heard moans the second he stepped into the house.

his body moved on instinct, long legs carrying him fast towards the bedroom. did something happen? are you okay? what the fuck is going on-

is there someone else with you?

and you were there, so lost in your own pleasure, so caught up in the fantasy, that you didn't hear the door open. you didn't hear the footsteps, nor his belt being unbuckled behind your back.

then a hand suddenly covered your mouth, and pulling your body away from the pillow.

a startled gasp left your lips, you tried to scream. "help-"

"you couldn't wait for me?" ni-ki asked, his breath brushed against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

you scared him too but all he could think right now is his poor baby just got so desperate and had to fuck a pillow.

his lips crashed onto yours before you could even answer, kissing you upside down—just hungry and possessive.

"riki," you moaned, biting your lip. "i need you so bad, baby."

your body arched, your skin burned with need to feel him everywhere. then you sat up, hands trembling as you pulled his zipper down, removing his jeans and boxers fully in one go.

his cock sprang free, thick and aching with precum glistening at the tip.

your mouth just... watered.

and just as you were about to take him into your mouth, ni-ki suddenly shifted, lying down beside you instead.

you didn't even care, you just positioned yourself above him, bringing your knees to either side of his head.

you want to suck him off first but you also needed something either like a friction to keep you from aching.

then you leaned down, wrapping your fingers around his cock before taking him into your mouth. ni-ki groaned, his grip tightening on your ass the moment your tongue swirled around the tip.

then he pulled you down onto his mouth even more.

you just whimpered, struggling to keep up as your pleasure from his tongue made you dizzy, and feral.

you were humping the pillow for too long so now you couldn't last in his face. your walls started clenching, your moans muffled around his cock as you came hard.

ni-ki was there drinking and licking, keeping you right there, making sure he got every drop of your release.

he flipped you onto your back after, his body moved on top of yours, cock already pressed against your entrance, one that was already wet from your mouth.

"please," you whispered, holding on the back of his neck.

"okay," he kissed you, sliding into you so deep, he had both of you moaning at the stretch. "it's so tight," he groaned, burying his face on your neck.

the pace was slow at first, but you needed more so you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him deeper, making him lose it.

his hips snapped into you fast and relentless. his mouth found your tits, sucking hard, leaving marks, moaning against your skin.

every thrust sent sparks through your overstimulated body, leaving you dizzy, and delirious with need. "faster, riki..." you begged.

ni-ki cursed, obeying immediately, fucking into you even harder, and rougher. the sound of skin slapping, moans and breathless gasps, filled the room.

his hands were everywhere gripping your thighs, pinning your wrists above your head, grabbing your face to kiss you deeply between thrusts. you felt like you were burning, like your body couldn't handle this much pleasure at once, but you also needed more and more of his dick.

ni-ki panicked, "fuck, baby- i'm gonna-"

you moaned as his pace turning erratic. "me too... gonna cum."

your back arching as another orgasm crashed over you, your walls were squeezing him so tight he's losing his mind. the feeling sent him spiraling. he groaned loudly, his movements grew sloppy as he came inside you, his hips jerking with every wave of his release.

his body trembled against yours. both of you were gasping for air and grasping at each other like you'd fall apart otherwise.

ni-ki didn't move after he came, he stayed inside you, panting, his forehead pressed against yours, hands gripping on your hips, heart pounding while his entire body still tingling from how insane that was.

"holy shit," he breathed out.

you let out a breathless laugh, brushing your fingers through his damp hair, holding him in your arms. "yeah..."

he swallowed, hands sliding down your sides, still gripping, still needing to feel you. like the thought of stopping, pulling out, and not being inside you will hurt him.

"baby," he murmured, kissing your jaw, your cheek, your lips. "i still wanna fuck you."

you let out a soft giggle, your body clenched around him told him you wanted it too.

"i don't think you can still move," you whispered, playing with his hair.

ni-ki groaned against your skin, trailing kisses up your neck.

"but that's fine. i'll do all the work now."

"you're perfect," he chuckled in relief.

you can feel him softening, but somehow his dick were still filling you inside perfectly, still pulsing with need despite how wrecked he was.

you smirked, biting your lip as you rolled your hips just a little.

ni-ki whined, his fingers dug into your skin, his head dropping against your shoulder. "fuck, baby, don't-" but you did it again, rocking against him, feeling him twitch back to life inside you.

a soft chuckle left your lips as you kissed his temple. "i thought you wanted to feel me?"

"i do," he groaned, his voice breathless, wrecked. "but i'm so fucking sensitive."

you ran your hands down his back, nails grazing his skin lightly as you slowly lifted your hips before sinking back down. a strangled moan left his throat, his arms wrapping tighter around you.

"oh- shit..."

you grinned, pressing your lips to his ear. "too much?"

ni-ki let out a shaky exhale, his hands trembling as they tried to guide your movements even though his body was too weak to follow through. "no," he rasped. "don't stop."

you took over, moving at your own pace, rolling your hips, feeling him grow hard again inside you. ni-ki became helpless beneath you, making noises and broken whimpers as his body shuddered with every grind of your hips.

you tangled your fingers in his hair, tilting his head up to look at you. his eyes were glassy, blown with pleasure, his lips swollen and parted as he panted, begging for more without saying a word.

he looks so pretty, blushing and fucked out.

his fingers dug into your thighs as his hips weakly tried to meet yours. "you're ruining me."

you smiled, leaning down to kiss him, swallowing every moans as you rode him, doing exactly what he wanted—because after all, he was the one who said he still wanted to fuck.

and you can't even remember what happened after, now you slowly woke up with ni-ki pressing soft kisses to your face, and your body was aching in the best way possible.

he then stood up to get water, running his hands through his hair but his dazed eyes flickered to the small box that had fallen from your bag. he furrowed his brows, his still pleasure-addled brain struggled to process but somehow, he was able to comprehend that the chocolate is laced with aphrodisiac.

"so this is how you were able to keep going?" ni-ki asked holding up the chocolate.

you tilted your head in confusion, he threw the box for you to catch.

"oh my god?" you scoffed in disbelief, "this is why i was so fucking horny..."

ni-ki laughed, unwrapping and munched on one.

"wha- why'd you eat that?"

he walked towards you and cupped your face, pulling you into a messy, chocolate-flavored kiss.

so ready to be ruined even more.

Caught - Reader X Ni-ki

note : it wasn't even their chocolate T_T but anyway, thanks for waiting. this is a very short one, hopefully i can finish the others so i could post it right away <3

マスターリストm.list

taglist 𖤘: @dolliewon @ziiao

1 month ago

you broke me first - l.hs

You Broke Me First - L.hs

pairing: virgin!lee heeseung x experienced fem!reader

synopsis: you and heeseung are the school’s golden pair — popular, admired, and constantly shipped. the only problem? you can’t stand him. from competing on exams to gym class, you’re always neck and neck, and no one gets under your skin like he does. but while you see a rival, he sees the love of his life. when you overhear a hushed conversation that breaks you, will heeseung be able to win you back?

featuring: all of enha, winter from aespa, yuqi from (g)i-dle, and keeho from p1h

genre: angst... slow burn, some fluff, kissing, skinship, SMUTTTT, college au, first love trope?? sorta? one sided enemies to lovers

warnings: smut so mdni (18+), alcohol consumption, vandalizing property, Sexual Tension, everyone is around the same age (21-23), lowercase intended <3

playlist: you broke me first by tate mcrae & what was i made for — billie eilish

(smut warnings under cut!)

wc: 13.271k

a/n: first fic is here! plsplspls leave feedback as anything helps!! was listening to you broke me first and got inspo for a kinda angsty fic pls bare with me :3 anyways! enjoy the read <3<3

smut content: mention of toys (but no use), fingering, squirting, unprotected sex (not for you), dry humping, switch! hee and reader, riding, mating press, too much kissing, masturbation (m.), breeding kink, slight dacryphilia, oral (m. & f.), deepthroating, belly bulge, creampie, size kinkish, big dick! hee, not much aftercare but it's like fluffy, y/n has a “reputation” that she gets around, VIRGIN HEESEUNG (but no one knows…) i think thats it? lmk if i missed anything ◡̈

not proofread!

You Broke Me First - L.hs

lee. fucking. heeseung. you hate him. you can't stand him. he always knows what to say just to piss you off. you might be wondering, "why don't you just try to avoid him?" the issue is... you do. you try with ALL your power but to no avail, he's in the same friend group as you.

your friends, knowing you hate him, decided to combine friend groups to see if you and him could mend things. spoiler alert: it failed miserably.

you felt safe in your small circle with keeho (the man you deemed to be your biological older brother — you aren't related), yuqi (your junior high best friend), and winter (your literal wife).

you guys were well known around the entire city of seoul for being the "it group" — always partying, hooking up, and somehow still acing every class (while nursing massive hangovers).

however, heeseung's friend group consisted of the golden boys in decelis university: park jongseong (known as jay, he hates his given name), sim jaeyun (known as the australian transfer student, jake), park sunghoon (the insanely hot figure skater), kim sunoo (the bubbliest person you've ever met), yang jungwon (the boy with feline features, however you've made a special note to never piss him off cause he has a black belt), and nishimura riki (known as ni-ki because he wanted to be different).

you loved riki. he was like your younger brother — chaotic, blunt, and always three steps ahead of everyone. you’d even joked once that if you had to suffer heeseung’s presence, at least you got riki out of it.

unfortunately, riki had the worst habit of instigating chaos.

“truth or dare?” he asked one friday night, grinning like he already had your life planned out. everyone was crammed into jay’s ridiculously large basement, music low, snacks half eaten, and bodies sprawled on beanbags and plush carpet.

you should’ve said “truth.” you knew you should’ve. but you weren’t a coward.

“dare,” you answered, arms crossed, eyes sharp.

the group erupted in ooooh's in perfect synchronicity.

riki’s grin only widened. “i dare you to sit on heeseung’s lap for five minutes.”

you almost lunged across the room.

“riki,” you hissed, “you are so dead.”

he just wiggled his brows suggestively. “i’m a baby. you wouldn’t hurt me.”

the worst part? he was right.

you looked over at heeseung, who was watching you like a cat watching a cornered mouse — lazy smirk, fingers casually drumming against his knee. “scared, sweetheart?”

“i’ll kill you in your sleep,” you said sweetly as you stalked over and dropped yourself into his lap like he was made of cardboard and air.

he oofed, not because you were heavy, but because he wasn’t expecting you to actually do it.

“wow,” he murmured, lips near your ear. “you smell like citrus and bad decisions.”

you resisted the urge to elbow him in the ribs.

five minutes. you just had to survive five minutes.

but then his hands casually settled on your waist, and you felt it — the spark. the electric, traitorous, goddamn spark that told you this was a very, very bad idea.

because maybe, just maybe, your hatred wasn’t as pure as you thought- no. what are you thinking??? you immediately shook the feeling that was buzzing inside you and blamed it on the alcohol swimming in your blood.

you definitely. hated heeseung. yup, yeah, you really did.

heeseung on the other hand? he was just praying to every god he could think of that you couldn't feel how sweaty his palms were getting.

because he was panicking. full blown, internal screaming, oh-no-she’s-sitting-on-me-and-she’s-warm kind of panicking. he hadn't expected you to actually follow through on your usual threats, much less practically straddle him in front of your mutual friends.

but now? now he was just trying to not pass out from the sheer force of your perfume and presence and the weight of years of unresolved tension that sat heavier than you ever could.

"you're sweating," you said flatly, side eyeing him with that expression that usually meant murder or mockery — or both. "you good?"

"totally," he croaked. "i always nearly die when beautiful people threaten me. it's, like, my thing."

you blinked once. twice.

"did you just call me beautiful?"

"i said what i said," he muttered, then immediately regretted everything.

your brows lifted in slow, dangerous amusement. "you feeling okay, heeseung? you hitting on me while i’m threatening you?”

“wouldn’t be the first time,” he said, almost too quiet for you to hear.

and there it was again. the spark. like a lighter flicked too close to your frayed nerves.

you looked away, choosing to focus on literally anything else, but his grip on your waist tightened just slightly, grounding you, almost daring you to acknowledge it.

“how much longer do i have to sit on this assholes lap?” you questioned under your breath, reminding yourself, reminding him, that this was temporary.

"4 minutes!" jake sang back as his accented voice rang in your ears. fuck, it's only been one minute? you thought to yourself... until he spoke.

“i could ruin us in three,” he whispered, warm breath tickling your ear. he was so close you could practically feel his labored breathing against your back. you craned your neck to the side so you could look him in the eyes, "what did you just say???" heeseung was at a loss for words — his brain only drawing blanks.

did he say what he thought he said in his head out loud? impossible. he's hidden it so well, no one in your guys' shared friend group had even suspected his overbearing attraction towards you.

so heeseung did the only thing he could think of. he gulped.

just as your gaze dropped to his adams apple, sunghoon cleared his throat, reducing the fiery tension between you two to reduce to a simmer. "time's up" he stated. and just like that, the warmth you once shared was gone.

as the game progressed, the most interesting things to occur were jake kissing sunghoon on the cheek, riki vandalizing an old alley way that never saw the sun, and winter lady-and-the-tramping a twizzler with keeho.

you and heeseung never dared to even spare a glance in each other's direction for the rest of the night.

───

you laid awake, staring at the ceiling in jay's basement while trying to get comfy on the leather couch that probably cost more than your entire wardrobe. you couldn't sleep. and the reason? none other than your self-proclaimed arch nemesis: lee heeseung.

your friend groups slept on different floors to prevent you and heeseung arguing and waking up the entire house. you slowly got up, attempting and (barely) succeeding to not step on a sleeping figure sprawled on the floor.

as you walk up the stairs from the basement, you hear two people whisper shouting at each other.

you glance at the time displayed on your phone.

a measly 3:16 am stared brightly at you. who's awake at this hour?? as you step closer to the hushed voices, you think you can make out the unmistakeable deepness of riki's voice and heeseung's annoying(ly hot) whispers, tinged with sleep.

"why the fuck would you dare HER of all people to sit on MY lap????" heeseung shouts quietly, clearly frustrated. riki bursts into a fit of giggles. "dude, don't tell me you feel something for her, don't you guys like hate each other?" he says between snide little chuckles.

heeseung freezes. there's no way riki really caught on to what he was supposed to never let slip through the cracks... right?! so he musters up all the dignity he has left and defensively grunts a series of defenses "nowhywouldieverseeherlikethatsheisn'tmytypeandithinkshe'sgross"

riki blankly stares back at heeseung's panicking eyes, "okayyy," he drags the word out, "you don't need to put her down like that, she's like my older sister, dude" riki spits back.

your lips twitch in a small smile, just for a second. just long enough for riki to catch your eyes peeking behind the corner. he nods once, subtle and solid. always in your corner.

but the comfort dies as soon as heeseung opens his mouth.

"i could never love someone like her."

and the world stops.

he says it so casually. almost like it’s a joke. like it's just another throwaway comment tossed between drinks and half-meant insults. but it lands with the weight of something cruelly true — or at least, something you believe he means.

you feel the breath hitch in your throat. just once.

riki's gaze is drawn to your frozen frame. and that's when everything freezes. heeseung whips around to see you standing there. eyes blown and glossy.

riki shifts, but he doesn’t move to try and console you — he knows better. knows this is something that'll bruise. something you need time to process, alone.

you bite back tears. “right,” you say, quietly. “of course.”

heeseung’s expression flickers — confusion, regret, something else — but you’ve already masked the pain. emotion draining from your face like you’ve trained for it. like it’s a sport. like if you stop moving, the hurt will catch up.

“i didn’t mean it like that,” he says, a little too late, a little too soft.

you readjust your posture, fixing your shirt.

“you meant it exactly like that,” you reply, and it’s not even bitter. it’s worse. numb.

riki’s there before heeseung can say anything else. standing between you like a wall. like a shield.

“walk away,” he tells you gently, and you do.

because if you stay, you might ask him why not. and you’re not sure your heart could take the answer.

riki turns back to heeseung, flames he's never seen before burning in the younger boys irises that are normally filled with mischief and teasing glints. but all of a sudden none of that is there anymore. it's pure, unfiltered anger. raw emotion.

heeseung wants him to yell at him. say something, anything. but nothing comes. riki just walks upstairs like he doesn't even know who heeseung is anymore.

and maybe he doesn't.

───

the next morning, when heeseung wakes up, it's almost peaceful. until rain begins to tip tap on the roof and everything comes crashing down. his chest is tight and immediately swells with regret. so much he thinks it'll spill out of him just like the rain outside.

he needs to talk to you. make sure you're okay. but he knows he's the last person you want to see right now. still, he has to try

as he descends down the stairs, he doesn't smell the usual feast jay would prepare them: eggs, bacon, toast, orange juice and cereal for jake since he claims, "it doesn't hurt his tummy," (his words).

he actually doesn't see jake. nor sunghoon, sunoo, jungwon, jay, winter, yuqi, or keeho.

after last nights events, he expected not to see riki as he was probably with you.

how did he go from having the girl of his dreams sitting on his lap, to making her hate him even more?

it's simple, really: he fucked up.

he moves through the house like a ghost — rooms too quiet, air too still. no laughter, no music playing off someone’s phone. just him and the rain.

the basement still has the blanket you’d curled up with last night. your mug — half full. he picks it up, and it’s cold. like him.

he tries to call riki. no answer.

he tries to call you.

it goes straight to voicemail.

he types out a text. deletes it. tries again.

“i didn’t mean what i said. i didn’t mean to hurt you. i'm sorry, y/n”

he stares at it. sends it.

and immediately regrets it. because what if you never answer?

as he packs up all his belongings, ready for the uncomfortable drive home, someone enters the house.

heeseung's heart rate picks up. what if it's you? he bolts down the stairs and is ultimately disappointed when he's met with a very disapproving jay.

they stand across from one another, staring into each others eyes.

heeseung's the first to break. he collapses on the bar stool at the counter and drops his head into his hands like it weighs a ton.

jay just sighs and sits down next to his friend.

"is she okay?" heeseung mumbles, his face buried in his hands.

jay’s jaw tightens. "why do you care?" he snaps. "you sure as hell didn’t last night when you said you could never love someone like her."

the words hit hard — harder than jay intended — and heeseung shatters.

the sobs break out of him like a dam giving way, loud and raw. tears stream down his face, and the sound of it makes jay flinch, caught off guard by how real the pain is. how broken heeseung suddenly looks.

still, jay moves without thinking, reaching out and rubbing slow circles on his friend’s back. it doesn’t fix anything, but it softens the edges of the moment.

they sit there in silence, the storm outside echoing the one inside, as heeseung cries himself hoarse.

by the time he’s able to breathe steadily again, nearly an hour has passed. his eyes are red, his voice barely there. he lifts his head and meets jay’s gaze; tired looking into just as tired.

neither of them says much. there’s no need.

finally, jay sighs and stands. “go grab your stuff,” he says quietly. “you’re in no shape to drive. i’ll take you home.”

heeseung doesn’t argue.

because for once, he knows jay’s right.

───

your phone dings.

dni: i didn't mean what i said. i didn't mean to hurt you. i'm sorry, y/n

you stare at your phone. gaze void of emotion. you've cried out everything you could muster.

you don't even know why heeseung's words echo in your head.

were you really that intolerable to be around? surely you weren't. all of heeseung's friends enjoyed hanging out with you and same with your little group.

so why did hearing your supposed enemy say he could never love someone like you hurt so bad?

you suppose you need to distract yourself from thinking that heeseung's words have any sort of impact on you. and that's when your door swings open. riki, yuqi, winter, keeho, sunghoon, jake, sunoo, and jungwon walk into your apartment with food, video games, board games, coloring books, skincare — everything you needed at the moment.

a break.

a break from your spiraling thoughts and endless questions you didn't want answered.

there's a knock at the door, jay comes in after he dropped heeseung off, with a freshly made cake, red velvet. your favorite.

you don’t move at first.

the warmth of your friends floods the apartment — laughter, chatter, the familiar rustle of takeout bags and the buzz of game controllers syncing. but it feels distant, like you’re underwater, watching from behind a thick pane of glass.

yuqi wraps her arms around you from behind, cheek resting on your shoulder. “we got your favorite pork buns,” she says softly.

you nod. you don’t trust your voice.

riki’s the one who notices your phone still clutched in your hand. screen glowing. that message. his message.

he doesn’t say anything, but he takes the phone from you gently, pressing the lock button, letting the screen fade to black. and you’re grateful. because if you kept staring at it, you might’ve started crying again, and you didn’t think you had anything left in you.

“movie?” sunghoon offers, holding up a stack of dvd's none of you ever returned to the library.

“coloring?” sunoo chirps, already spreading out gel pens across your coffee table.

“face masks?” winter insists, already tearing them open.

you let them distract you. you let them love you in the only way they know how — loudly, messily, unconditionally.

there’s a moment, in the middle of the chaos, when keeho makes a stupid joke and jungwon snorts soda out of his nose, that you laugh. actually laugh.

and then it hits you like whiplash — how easily heeseung could’ve been here. how almost close you came to letting yourself believe there was something soft behind his smirks and eye rolls. how you’d dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, the tension between you wasn’t just one-sided delusion.

but then he said it. “i could never love someone like her.”

and even with the people you love surrounding you, something in your chest hurts. like a bruise that won’t stop blooming.

later, after everyone’s settled into pillows and half-finished coloring pages, riki sits beside you. he doesn’t speak for a long time.

then, quietly, “you don’t have to pretend around me.”

and that’s when your lip trembles. just slightly.

“i don’t know why it hurts this much,” you whisper. “i knew he hated me. i knew. so why do i feel so broken?"

“he didn’t have to say it like that,” riki replies, voice firm. “he didn’t have to break something just because he couldn’t admit he wanted to hold it.”

you nod, finally letting a single tear trail down your cheek. riki wipes it away before it can fall too far.

he squeezes your hand.

“he messed up,” he says. “that’s on him. not you.”

you hold onto that — his words, their presence, the comfort of being chosen and cared for.

and for the first time since last night, you breathe. not easily. not painlessly. but it’s a start.

───

heeseung didn't know how hard it would be to try and get any information about you.

how you were doing, if you were okay. anything

your mutual friends? after hearing how massive he fucked up, they sided with you.

sure, jay, jake, sunghoon, sunoo, and jungwon would text him and hang out with him occasionally, but they wouldn't utter a word about you. most of the time heeseung saw them, it would be for awkward movie nights or when they would game together when none of them could sleep.

when he was alone, his mind ached, his chest twisted in pain, but mostly... his body ached.

he tried to stop it, he knew it was wrong.

but when you sat on his lap, something in him shifted.

sure he knew you were pretty (breathtakingly stunning), but he never imagined something he thought about constantly would ever become reality.

he thought back to those 5 minutes. the tension. surely it couldn't have just been made up in his head, right?

the way your entire body tensed when his hands rested on your hips. normally he wouldn't have touched you, but you were shifting and he needed to stop his growing problem before you noticed.

and thankfully it worked.

however, he was already hard as a brick.

his breath hitched as he remembered the look in your eyes — uncertain, but not scared. curious, maybe? or was he projecting again?

he swallowed hard, his hands now clenched at his sides like if he let them loose, they’d betray him again.

five minutes. that’s all it was. but it looped in his head like a damn broken record.

you hadn’t said a word. but your thighs had tensed. and when he shifted, trying to regain his composure, you hadn't moved away — not immediately, anyway.

maybe it meant nothing. maybe you hadn’t even noticed the way his breath had gone shallow or the way he was holding back like his life depended on it.

but god, his body remembered.

he shifted in his bed now, alone, frustrated, angry at himself. this wasn’t who he was supposed to be. he wasn’t supposed to want this — to want you — not like this. not in silence, not in secrecy, not in pain.

but the damage was already done.

and the worst part?

he wasn’t sure he even wanted to stop anymore.

as he stared at his chase atlantic posters, he thought to himself. any guy would get hard when a pretty girl sits on his lap, right? surely it isn't just because he's a pathetic virgin who's had to lie to his entire friend group about how he "gets around."

soon enough, his thoughts were interrupted by the rapidly increasing ache between his legs.

his hands trembled slightly as they hovered over the tent in his shorts. his breathing was shallow, lips parted, eyes half-lidded as if he were caught in some fever dream he didn’t want to wake up from.

he hated how much he needed this.

how much he needed you.

with a low, strangled groan, he finally gave in, palming himself over the thin fabric. the relief was immediate, but it wasn’t enough — it never was. not when the ache ran deeper than just skin. not when every nerve in his body was screaming for more.

he slipped his hand beneath his waistband, hissing through clenched teeth as his fingers wrapped around his thick length, already twitching with need. he was so hard it hurt, painfully stiff and dripping at the tip, slicking his palm almost instantly.

your name burned on his tongue, but he swallowed it back.

he couldn’t say it. shouldn’t say it.

but in his head, it echoed over and over again. your laugh. your voice. the way you looked at him — or didn’t. the way you moved. god, he remembered everything. he was haunted by it.

he shut his eyes tight and let his hand move — slow at first, starting at his base and dragging his fingers up each vein decorating the sides. his patience wore out quicker than he'd ever admit, starting to move up his length, then down with just enough pressure to make his thighs twitch. he bit his lip, hard, trying to hold in the sounds. but as the memory of you shifting in his lap played behind his eyelids like a cruel fantasy, a soft whimper escaped.

he was losing it.

desperation clawed at him with every stroke, every flex of his hand. his hips lifted off the mattress as his muscles tensed. he imagined your fingers replacing his, your body hovering over his, your breath against his neck.

“please,” he gasped into the dark — not even sure what he was begging for. forgiveness? permission? you?

he pumped harder now, faster, chasing that high like it would save him. his other hand gripped the sheets, knuckles white. he was right on the edge, falling apart with nothing but the echo of your presence and the throb of need coiled deep in his belly.

“i need — fuck, i need you,” he moaned, broken and breathless. his body was hot, slick with sweat, twitching under his own touch.

he could feel it. the band threatening to snap at any moment.

he swirled his fingers around his tip, hitting that spot that made his vision go white. he was close.

all it took to unravel him was an image of you, mouth replacing his hand. trying to fit as much of him into your mouth while he just laid there and took it.

eventually the thought was too much, his seed spilled over his stomach in thick, messy ropes, his fist slowing only when the aftershocks wracked his frame like a wave of guilt and pleasure colliding all at once.

he laid there for a moment, chest heaving, skin flushed and sticky.

and then it hit him.

he still wasn’t satisfied.

because it wasn’t your touch. it wasn’t your voice, your kiss, your heat. it was just his hand and a fantasy he couldn't let go of.

and no matter how many times he did this, no matter how many times he used the memory of you…

it was never going to be enough.

───

you’ve held it together for as long as you could — smiled through movie nights, laughed at keeho’s stupid impressions, even ate something other than ramen yesterday. but it’s all surface level. the moment you're alone again, the cracks split wide open.

there you are, sitting on your couch, drowning in your thoughts. 

the faint glow of the streetlamp filters through the windows, further highlighting the text message staring back at you

“i didn’t mean it.” 

it replays in your head over and over like a broken record until your vision starts to blur. tears flood your waterline but you make no effort to stop them. 

you don’t sob. you just sit there, hurting so quietly it’s almost peaceful.

until it isn’t. 

your lip trembles slightly, then it all comes pouring out. 

“why? why did you say that? what the fuck. did i do to deserve those words?” 

riki hears your quiet words from the bathroom. he comes rushing out, empathy and sadness twirling in his eyes. 

“hey, hey, hey, talk to me y/n. yell at me if you need to, yeah?” he says. voice barely above a whisper. all you can choke out is a tiny “no, none of this is your fault.” 

riki sits next to you, holding you, trying to piece you back together as if he were the one who broke you.

disrupting the mellow silence lingering in your apartment, there’s a knock at the door.

not wanting the worst case scenario, you answering the door to heeseung, riki gets up and makes his way to where the sound came from. 

to both of your dismay, a tired heeseung stands in the doorway. 

his hair is messy, dark bags under his usually teasing eyes, looking like he hasn’t slept in days.

he freezes when he sees you. your puffy eyes, shaking hands, the way you curl in on yourself like you’re trying to disappear. 

riki steps in front of you, but you give him the signal to back down. you and heeseung can handle this alone. what’s another argument anyways? 

as riki walks away, heeseung starts slowly “yn…” 

you look at him. and no matter how hard you could have tried, nothing could have stopped you from snapping at him.

“why are you here?”  “i had to see you. i had to say–”  “you already said enough, heeseung.” 

god. the way you say his name. all he’s thought about since you last saw each other was you saying his name. and now, he doesn’t wanna hear it ever again. 

he opens his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it. 

“do you know what it felt like to hear you say i wasn’t lovable? that someone like me could never be enough for you?” 

as if you could read his mind, you shake your head, dismissing whatever he was about to spit out. 

with every last ounce of energy you can gather, you scream. “you don’t get to feel sorry now. you made your choice the other night. i knew we had a mutual hatred, or at least some twisted distaste, but i never even thought about saying something like that to you.”

he doesn’t respond right away. just stands there, frozen. then you hear it. soft sniffles. ragged breathing. sobs.

he breaks.

because this is the first time he gets it. really, truly understands what he did. what he said. what it cost you.

“i’m sorry,” he chokes out, voice cracked and barely audible. “truly. what i said last week… i didn’t mean it. even thinking it broke me.”

you stare at him for a long, quiet second. and then you say it — flat, but shaking.

“you broke me first, heeseung.”

his breath catches. your words land like a punch to the gut, because they’re the truth. maybe the first truth spoken between you in a long time.

heeseung, who’s always so calm. so composed. the one who rolls his eyes at everything and makes everything feel like a joke. he’s crumbling in front of you now. not fighting. not defending. just falling apart.

and then it hits you. maybe he’s always been like this.

watching you. listening. never the first to strike, only ever the one to react. maybe he was never the villain in this story.

your breath hitches. maybe, just maybe, you were wrong.

you don’t know why the realization crashes down now. maybe it’s the sound of his sobs. maybe it’s the way the silence has more weight than anything he’s ever said. but something inside you shifts.

and for the first time, you see him — not as the enemy. but as the boy who let you hate him, because he didn’t know how to ask for anything else.

you replay every argument like a tape stuck on rewind. you were always the one who started it.

the snide comments. the sideways glances. the venom you dressed up as jokes.

heeseung never really fought back. he always matched your energy, sure, but he never escalated it. never crossed a line. not until that night.

your chest tightens. you realize you don’t even remember what the first fight was about. some hallway bump? a misunderstood glance? maybe it was never about anything. maybe it was just you, projecting every piece of your brokenness onto the only person who saw through it and stayed.

god, had he always stayed?

you remember in elementary school, how he used to bring you extra snacks when you forgot lunch. how he gave you his hoodie that one time you were shivering during morning assembly, even after you’d spent the entire week roasting him in front of your friends.

you remember the way his gaze always lingered—not in a way that felt invasive, but like he was always checking. watching over you without saying a word.

and now here he is. slumped into his knees. back pressed against the wall, crying over you.

you were so busy building walls with your bitterness that you didn’t notice it was slowly breaking him. 

the quiet way he tried to reach over them.

you sink to the floor across from him, not close enough to touch, but close enough to feel the weight of everything between you.

for a long moment, you don’t speak. neither does he. you just breathe in the silence together — like it’s the only language you both understand.

“i didn’t know how to stop hating you,” you whisper, voice catching. “because if i stopped… i think i would’ve started needing you.”

heeseung lifts his head. eyes red, lashes wet.

“i already did,” he says. “i never stopped.”

your heart fractures in a way that doesn’t feel sharp, just tired. heavy.

“i don’t know what to do with that,” you admit.

“you don’t have to do anything,” he murmurs. “not tonight.”

you nod. once. then you help him get up. both your legs feel numb, but you walk him towards the door. your hand rests on the handle, taking a second to look up at him. really look at him, and you’re tempted to say something. 

but instead, you give him the quietest thing you can offer: a small, broken sort of smile. not quite forgiveness. not quite goodbye.

then, he steps out into the night. and just like that, the quietness of everything settling in takes over. no more lies. just the truth.

as you’re deep in thought, riki walks in with two mugs of hot chocolate — extra marshmallows, your favorite. 

-ˏˋ⋆ 3 years ago ⋆ˊˎ-  

it’s a chilly summer night. you and riki are sprawled out on the roof of his parents' house, the shingles warm beneath your backs from the day’s lingering sun. crickets hum below. the stars blink overhead, careless and constant.

you shift slightly, seeking warmth, and without a word, riki lifts his arm. you curl into the space beside him, head on his shoulder, fingers tucked into the sleeve of his hoodie. his arm settles around you like it belongs there.

“do you think we’ll ever feel like this again?” you murmur. “peaceful. like nothing’s wrong.”

he hums low in his chest. “you mean without chaos or boys who don’t deserve you?”

you let out a breath, half a laugh. “exactly.”

there’s a pause, the kind that feels thick with unspoken things.

riki’s voice is soft when he finally speaks. “i think… the people who make you feel heavy, like you're constantly questioning yourself, that’s not love, y/n. that’s something else.”

you turn your face slightly to look up at him. he’s gazing at the stars like he’s afraid of admitting he craves the one thing he’s always sworn to never care about. 

“love should never hurt,” he says, quieter this time. “not the kind that stays.”

you don’t say anything right away. you’re too busy memorizing the way the night folds around his words. the way he’s always been a comfort for you, the one to pick you up when you’re falling. 

and in that moment, you believe him. you really do.

you nod once. “then i hope… when it’s my turn, it feels like this. safe.”

riki swallows. “me too.”

-ˏˋ⋆ present time ⋆ˊˎ- 

and now, back in your bedroom, the silence left in heeseung’s absence is deafening.

your gaze flicks toward the window, rain still threading down the glass like tear tracks. your mind lingers on that rooftop — the stars, the safety, the version of you who still believed in soft things.

before all the hook-ups, parties, and one-sided confessions. 

you pull the blanket tighter around your shoulders and whisper. either to riki or yourself, you don’t know.

“you said love should never hurt. i think heeseung missed that memo.”

and god, how you wish you could go back to that night — before the spiral, before the ache.

before the boy who made you feel like an afterthought.

before you let yourself fall over someone you thought you didn’t care about. 

riki leaves after making sure you’re alright, mumbling something about dance practice. 

and again, it’s just you. in the quiet. 

then, almost without thinking, you rip a blank piece of paper out of your journal.

you don’t plan it. it’s just instinct — fingers gripping your pen, waiting for permission your heart hasn’t quite given. but then you start writing.

dear heeseung,

i hated you before i knew how badly i could want you. maybe that’s where it all went wrong. because at some point, i stopped seeing you as the boy who annoyed me and started seeing you as someone i wanted to understand. as someone i wanted to look at me and see me. and for a while, i thought maybe you did. i thought maybe the way you pulled me into your lap, the way you whispered near my ear, the way your hand rested on my waist — i thought maybe it meant something. i thought i was stupid for hating you. turns out i was just stupid for hoping. you said you could never love someone like me. and god, that broke something in me i didn’t know was still whole. because even when i told myself i hated you, there was always that small, traitorous part of me that wondered: what if he doesn’t hate me back? what if it’s more? but it wasn’t. and now i can’t unhear it. you probably didn’t even mean it — not in the way it came out. maybe it was fear, or pressure, or ego. but it doesn’t matter, does it? words don’t get erased just because we didn’t mean them. they echo. and yours… yours are still echoing inside me like a song i can’t shut off. i don’t think i’m mad at you anymore. i think i’m mad at myself. for letting you get close. for not guarding the parts of me i only let out in small doses. for thinking i was different to you. i wish you hadn’t said it. but mostly, i wish it hadn’t mattered so much to me that you did. – y/n

you take out an envelope, neatly fold the paper and stuff it inside, writing a neat ‘heeseung’ on the front of it. 

some truths aren’t meant to be sent. some confessions are only meant for the rain to witness.

and tonight, that’s enough.

───

the second the door shuts behind him, the silence hits like a punch to the ribs.

heeseung stands there for a second too long, staring at the wood grain of your door like it might open again. like maybe you’ll come running after him. like maybe that small, broken smile you gave him wasn’t the end.

but it doesn’t open.

and it was the end.

he starts walking. he doesn’t even remember moving his feet, just that suddenly he’s outside, and the rain greets him like an old friend. cold, sharp, unforgiving. it soaks through his hoodie in seconds, but he doesn’t flinch.

he deserves it. every drop. every chill. every echo of your voice in his head.

“not quite forgiveness. not quite goodbye.”

god, what did he do?

how did he take someone who was literally sitting in his lap, trusting him with the fragile thread of something real — and turn that into this? this mess of silence and space and words he can’t take back?

“i could never love someone like her.”

he had said it so carelessly. so cruelly. trying to deflect the attention off himself in front of your friends, like a coward. like a boy who still thinks protecting his ego is worth more than protecting a heart.

especially your heart.

he wipes his face with the back of his hand, unsure if it’s tears or rain. it’s probably both.

he thinks back to your eyes right before he left. the way you looked at him like he was someone you used to know. like whatever thread was between you had finally snapped.

and the worst part?

he couldn’t even beg you to stay.

because he knows — he knows — he doesn’t deserve it.

he walks home in silence, the city around him buzzing and breathing like it doesn’t care at all about the wreckage inside his chest. his phone buzzes a few times in his pocket, probably jay or jungwon checking if he made it back safely.

but none of it matters.

because there’s only one person he wants to hear from.

and you’ve already said everything you needed to say. in the way you didn’t ask him to stay. in the way you didn’t cry. in the way you simply closed the door.

so when heeseung finally steps into his apartment, soaked to the bone, trembling from more than just the cold, he collapses on his bed, stares at the ceiling, and whispers:

“i didn’t mean it. i swear i didn’t mean it.”

but there’s no one left to listen.

not tonight.

───

heeseung isn’t the center of your world anymore.

not in the way he used to be.

in the weeks that follow, your friends become your anchor. riki never leaves your side. winter brings over matcha lattes and blankets. sunoo paints your nails while jake tells bad jokes. you laugh again. slowly, but surely.

you start writing more letters.

some are angry. some are soft. some are nothing more than wordless scratches of ink on paper.

but one night, you write a letter that feels different.

you don’t even realize what you’re saying until it’s already down:

i wanted you. for a long time. maybe even when i said i hated you. maybe that was the only way i knew how to say it without crumbling. i masked want with rage. affection with sarcasm. love with loathing. you made it easier to run. but i wanted to stay. god, i wanted to stay.

you fold that letter gently. tuck it into your drawer. it doesn’t matter if he reads it. not now.

because healing isn’t about him.

it’s about you.

and you’re getting there.

lately, the weekends have felt lighter. your apartment has become a familiar gathering place again, only now, it’s just the people who stayed. who showed up. who chose you. heeseung hasn’t come around in weeks, and no one really talks about it. not in a cruel way, just in the quiet, understanding way that friendships shift when someone slips out of the picture.

you used to dread saturday nights, used to flinch every time the group chat lit up with plans. used to wonder if he’d show up, if you’d have to spend the night pretending not to notice the weight of his silence, the way your laughter dulled around him. but somewhere along the way, those nights started to feel easier. not because you stopped missing him — but because you started remembering how to miss him without hurting yourself in the process.

your living room is alive with warmth and laughter. the scent of popcorn and mango smoothies drifts through the air. blankets are piled high on the couch, soft pillows strewn across the floor where riki is dramatically throwing himself down after losing yet another round of mario kart to sunghoon, who’s grinning like he just won the olympics.

“cheater,” riki groans, pointing an accusing finger without lifting his head.

“just admit i’m better,” sunghoon replies smugly, stretching his legs across the coffee table like he owns the place.

in the corner, winter and yuqi are dancing barefoot to a chaotic mix of early 2000s pop and indie throwbacks — somehow still synced up to choreography you’d all made up back in sophomore year. their laughter is contagious, unfiltered and bright, and it tugs a smile onto your face before you even realize it.

keeho is halfway through teaching jungwon and sunoo a tiktok dance in the kitchen doorway, voice loud and arms flailing with exaggerated energy. they’re laughing too hard to get the moves right, collapsing into each other every time they mess up. jake, unfazed by the chaos, is blending something suspiciously green in the kitchen, wearing a headband that reads “chef vibes only.”

you’re curled up on the loveseat, blanket wrapped around your shoulders, a half-finished smoothie in your hands. and for once, you’re not scanning the room for him. you’re not wondering what he’d say or how he’d look at you or if tonight would be the night he pulled you aside and finally said something real.

you’re just… here. and it’s enough.

someone throws a pillow at your head, probably riki, based on the cackling, and you lunge to retaliate, laughing as the pillow war erupts across the living room. it’s messy, loud, ridiculous. and it’s yours. this little world you’re rebuilding, one laugh, one night, one breath at a time.

there’s still a part of you that misses him. maybe there always will be. but tonight, that part is small. quiet.

outnumbered by joy.

meanwhile, heeseung is alone in his apartment.

the place is dim. quiet. it hasn’t felt like home in a long time. he's been staring at his phone for an hour now, hoping for a text that doesn’t come.

he thinks about the group chat. the silence from everyone. he thinks about the night he ruined everything. and how, somehow, he still wants to fix it.

he knows an apology isn’t enough. not this time.

he needs to show you, all of you, that he’s not the same guy who let his fear speak louder than his heart.

he just doesn’t know how yet.

but he will. he has to.

because he doesn’t just want forgiveness.

he wants to deserve it.

───

somewhere in the chaos, one of your unsent letters goes missing.

riki finds it by accident. tucked under a cushion, edges worn. he doesn't mean to read it, but your handwriting draws him in, and before he knows it, he's holding your heartbreak in his hands.

he doesn't say a word. just slips it into his pocket and walks away.

a day later, heeseung finds the letter folded on the seat of his car.

he doesn’t recognize the paper at first. but the second he sees your handwriting, his heart drops.

his hands shake as he unfolds it. the silence around him is so loud, he can hear his pulse in his ears.

and then he reads it.

every word. every line. every raw, aching truth you never meant for him to see.

i thought maybe the way you pulled me into your lap, the way you whispered near my ear, the way your hand rested on my waist — i thought maybe it meant something. turns out i was just stupid for hoping. you said you could never love someone like me. and god, that broke something in me i didn’t know was still whole.

heeseung sits there, completely still. letter trembling in his grip.

"fuck," he whispers. "fuck."

he shows up to the next group hangout like his life depends on it.

he doesn’t talk to anyone. not really. not until you walk in.

you freeze when you see him. part of you wants to turn around and leave.

but he doesn’t let you.

he stands. crosses the room.

"can we talk?" he asks, voice low, not demanding, but pleading.

you don’t say anything.

"please. just five minutes. if you still hate me after, i’ll leave you alone. forever."

there’s a long pause.

you nod.

he takes you outside, away from the noise, into the quiet night.

"i read it," he says.

you blink. "read what?"

he reaches into his jacket and pulls out the letter. your letter.

your stomach drops.

"i wasn’t supposed to see it, i know. but... i’m glad i did."

"heeseung—"

"no. let me say this. please."

his eyes are desperate. glassy. his words shaky.

"i lied. that night. i said that because i was scared. because i felt too much, too fast, and didn’t know what to do with it. i thought if i pushed you away, i could kill whatever it was before it killed me."

he takes a step closer.

"but you weren’t just someone i hated. not really. you were someone i couldn’t stop thinking about. you were the highlight of every party, every night, every moment. i was an idiot. but i never stopped wanting you."

your throat is tight.

"you broke me," you whisper.

he nods.

"i know. and i’ll spend every second proving to you that i’m sorry. not with words — with time. with actions. with everything you’ll let me give."

there’s silence.

then you take a breath.

"you’ve got a lot to prove, lee heeseung."

he gives the smallest, hopeful smile.

"then let me start now."

and he does.

not with fireworks. not with promises he can’t keep. but with the small things. the consistent things.

the next morning, there’s a text from him. simple. 

“did you sleep okay?”

you stare at it for a while before replying. 

“yeah. you?” 

“not really. kept thinking about you.”

you don’t answer that. but your heart stirs anyway.

a few days later, he’s waiting outside your class with a drink in his hand, the one he used to make fun of you for ordering (“that’s basically sugar and foam, y/n”), but now buys without hesitation. he doesn’t try to walk you home. doesn’t push. just hands you the drink, offers a soft “you looked tired,” and walks away before you can respond.

he lets you come to him.

at the next hangout, he doesn’t hover. doesn’t sulk. he helps jake in the kitchen, jokes with jungwon, lets the others tease him without biting back. when you walk in, his eyes find you — but he doesn’t pull you aside. just offers a quiet, careful smile. like he’s waiting. like he’s learning how to stay.

one night, you’re struggling with your laundry, balancing way too many bags and a basket of unfolded clothes, and he appears without a word, grabbing half the load from your arms. you glare at him, but you don’t tell him to stop.

he walks with you to the laundry room, helps you separate colors, folds your towels when you’re too tired to finish. “i owe you way more than this,” he says softly. you don’t look at him. “yeah,” you murmur. “you do.”

he doesn’t reply. just keeps folding.

you start to notice it more after that. the way he lingers behind after group dinners to help clean. the way he listens, really listens, when you talk, even if it’s just about the books you’re reading or the music you’ve been into lately. the way he starts learning your rhythms again, not to manipulate them, but to respect them.

one night, you find a note slipped into your bag.

“this isn’t about getting you back. it’s about being someone who deserves to stand beside you. i don’t expect anything from you. just… thanks for letting me try.”

you don’t know what to do with that. but you keep the note anyway.

and maybe the biggest moment doesn’t feel big at all. it’s late. you’re sitting on the floor of your apartment, overwhelmed with everything—assignments, memories, feelings you’ve tried to ignore—and he shows up.

he doesn’t say anything. just sits beside you. close, but not too close. his shoulder brushes yours. your hand trembles. and without looking at you, he says, “you don’t have to talk. just let me sit here.”

and you do.

because he’s not trying to fix you. he’s just showing up. and maybe that’s what love looks like now.

quiet. patient. real.

you don’t forgive him all at once.

but some nights, it’s harder to pretend you don’t want to.

like the night it rains, and you forget your umbrella. you’re standing under the campus archway, clutching your books to your chest, half-considering just running for it, when a quiet voice says, “hey.”

you turn. heeseung’s holding out his umbrella, expression unreadable, hair already wet from the walk over.

“you’ll get soaked,” you mumble, surprised. “i don’t mind,” he says. “but you hate the rain.”

you want to tell him to leave. want to remind him that knowing those things doesn’t mean he’s forgiven.

but instead, you step under the umbrella. shoulder to shoulder. hearts too close. you don’t say a word the whole walk home. but you remember how he always matched his pace to yours. he still does.

───

there’s another time. movie night.

everyone’s over again, sprawled across the living room. you end up between yuqi and jungwon on the couch, but at some point, someone moves, and when you shift, you realize you’re next to him. again.

the movie plays. people whisper and pass snacks and argue over the plot twist. but all you feel is the space between your knee and his. the ghost of warmth where your arms nearly brush.

you don’t move away. neither does he.

and at one point, you laugh at a stupid scene. without thinking, you glance at him, wanting to see if he found it funny too. he’s already looking at you. and for a second, everything stills.

you look away first. but your heart doesn't stop racing for a long, long time.

───

the third moment is softest of all.

it’s late. everyone’s left. you’re cleaning up alone, stacking plates in the kitchen.

you don’t hear him come back until he’s beside you, rolling up his sleeves.

“thought i’d help,” he says gently. you nod. don’t speak.

you’re both quiet for a while, working in sync. something about it feels… familiar. domestic. like home.

then, as you’re drying the last cup, you glance over. he’s watching you, and there’s something in his eyes. something tender. careful. full of things he hasn’t said yet.

“i miss you,” he says softly. 

your breath catches.

you set the cup down.

“heeseung–”

“i’m not asking for anything,” he interrupts, voice thick. “just… i miss you. and i wanted you to know.”

you swallow hard. there’s so much you could say. but instead, you whisper, “i know.”

he nods once. and then he leaves. because he meant it — he wasn’t asking for anything. but that’s the moment you know: you don’t hate him anymore. you never did. 

───

it happens a week later.

a rooftop. stars overhead. winter’s birthday, most of your friends are tipsy on alcohol, sugar and too many karaoke songs. you haven’t had a drop of alcohol, wanting to truly feel everything.

heeseung finds you leaning against the railing, eyes on the sky.

“hey,” he says. you nod and let him stand beside you.

the silence isn’t awkward anymore. it’s soft. steady.

“can i ask you something?” he says, barely audible.

you hum.

“do you still feel it?” he asks. “whatever it was… whatever we had.”

you don’t answer for a long time.

and then, quietly… “i never really stopped.”

he turns. slowly.

your eyes meet. and in them is every apology he’s ever whispered with his actions. every moment he gave you space. every time he showed up when he didn’t have to.

you reach for him first.

your hand brushes his. his fingers curl around yours like a prayer.

and then, finally, he kisses you.

soft. aching. full of every unspoken word, every almost, every could’ve been. this isn’t the kind of kiss that demands anything. it’s a promise. a beginning.

you pull back first, just enough to whisper, “i don’t wanna do this while you’re intoxicated, i don’t want you to regret it.” 

he stares at you before mumbling into your lips.

“y/n, i haven’t had a drink, but it feels like i’m drunk when i kiss you.” 

your heart stops and everything fades into the background. “don’t break me again.” you plead, face inches away from his. 

he presses his forehead to yours.

“never again,” he breathes.

and this time, you believe him.

as he reconnects your lips, his hands tremble slightly where they find purchase on your waist. the night air is cool, but your skin is burning—flushed, alive, and aching in a way you haven’t let yourself feel in so long.

he pulls back just enough to look at you. his eyes flick between yours and your lips, like he’s still not sure this is real.

“we don’t have to,” he murmurs, voice hoarse. “just say the word.”

but you don’t want him to stop. not tonight. not after everything.

so you slide your fingers into the collar of his jacket, tug him closer until your lips brush his again.

“take me home, heeseung.”

and he does.

his apartment is quiet when you get inside, the chaos of the earlier party gone, the night still humming with something electric. you barely have time to kick your shoes off before his mouth finds yours again. hungrier now, more desperate. like all the restraint he’s shown is unraveling, thread by thread.

his hands are everywhere — your hips, your waist, your jaw. like he’s relearning you. memorizing the weight of you against him.

you tug his jacket off, fingers fumbling with the zipper, and he lets out a low, breathless laugh against your neck.

“still impatient,” he teases.

“still hot when you shut up,” you shoot back, and he groans.

you barely make it to the couch.

he sits first, pulling you into his lap like it’s instinct, like he’s needed this for months. your knees straddle him, bodies pressed chest to chest, your hands tangled in his hair as he kisses you like he’s starving for it.

he tilts his head, deepens the kiss, and it’s filthy. slow. wet. your hips roll against his without thinking, and the noise he makes, low and guttural, goes straight to your core.

“fuck,” he groans. forehead against your collarbone. “you’re gonna kill me.”

you arch into him, tug his shirt over his head, and he follows suit, fingers slipping under the hem of yours, eyes flicking up for permission. you nod, and he peels it off slowly, reverently, like unwrapping something precious.

his hands trail over your skin like he’s trying to remember what it feels like to deserve you.

and then his mouth is on your neck, your shoulder, trailing down until you’re gasping his name, your back arching as he presses kisses across your collarbones.

“you’re so beautiful,” he whispers, like it hurts.

as you reach for his belt wanting to make him feel good, he puts his hand over yours. “there’s something i need to tell you.. before we take anything further.” he says like he doesn’t even want you to know. 

“what is it, hee?” 

god. that nickname. 

it’s what all his close friends call him, however when you say it. he wants to lay the world at your feet. 

“i’m.. uh– a vir-virgin…” he mumbles. you would have missed it had you not been paying close attention. 

you laugh. 

heeseung leans back into the couch, hoping, praying, wishing it to swallow him whole. 

as you observe heeseung, you realize he must be serious. “you’re a virgin? but you– you always used to talk about your hook-ups and how every week it was like you had someone new hanging off your arm??? what do you mean you’re a virgin?” 

he whimpers. he fucking whimpers. “i’m not proud of it, okay? i always came really close to hooking up with girls but i um. i couldn’t you know.. get it… up.” 

you sit there quietly, giving him time to compose himself and continue. 

“everytime i tried to lose my virginity, i couldn’t get hard unless i thought she was you,” he speaks, not gaining enough courage to look you in the eyes. 

you stare at heeseung for a moment, trying to process what he just said. the weight of it settles between you like a delicate secret, and suddenly the playful teasing tone you’d had before feels completely inappropriate.

you can see it in his doe eyes — how embarrassed he is, how much he wants to crawl out of his own skin. the corners of his lips are tugged in a tight line, as if holding in every emotion that threatens to spill out. but you can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face. it’s soft, gentle, but laced with a teasing warmth.

“you’re a virgin?” you ask, letting the words linger a little longer than they should, pretending to be surprised as if he hadn’t just told you, twice.

heeseung’s face reddens, and you see him shrink further into the couch. you could almost feel his desire to hide, to escape. but you don’t let him. instead, you move closer, shifting between his legs, and place your hand on his thigh. a gentle, reassuring pressure.

“god, heeseung,” you tease softly, your lips curling into a smile that isn’t cruel, but playful. “how could you keep that from me? you’ve been all… big talk and ‘i get all the girls,’ and here you are, this nervous little thing, blushing at the thought of being with me?”

his eyes flicker with uncertainty, but you lean in just enough to press your lips to his ear. you feel him tense under the touch, and the subtle shiver runs through his body, telling you everything you need to know. he’s not as confident as he makes it seem.

“you should’ve told me sooner, you know,” you whisper, your voice low, just enough to make his breath hitch. “i would’ve been patient. we could’ve taken it slow.”

heeseung groans softly, his hands gripping the fabric of the couch like he’s holding onto some semblance of control. you smile knowingly, watching the struggle on his face. but it’s not discomfort — it’s desire. you can feel it in the way his eyes refuse to leave yours, in the way his body reacts to the gentleness in your touch.

“i… i don’t want you to think less of me,” he mutters, barely audible, but you catch it anyway. “it’s just… with you, it’s always felt different.”

you gently trace your fingers up his chest, watching as his breath quickens. you’re giving him space to breathe, to process, and then you lean in, brushing your lips against his in a soft, teasing kiss.

“stop worrying about that,” you say quietly, your lips just barely touching his. “i don’t think less of you. if anything, you’re hotter right now than ever before.”

the vulnerability in his eyes shifts. he’s still nervous, but the weight is lifting. and for the first time in a while, you see him start to believe that he doesn’t need to hide anything from you.

then, you shift your focus, teasing him once more with a playful grin. “but you know, heeseung… i could help you with that. we could take this slow, maybe help you get comfortable with what it feels like to be with me. you trust me, don’t you?”

he nods, slowly, not trusting his voice. he’s ready. maybe more than he thought.

and you take that as your cue. you kiss him again, deeper this time, letting the heat between you grow. his body responds to you almost immediately. hands shifting from nervous to eager, pulling you closer as his mouth moves hungrily against yours.

“let me take care of you,” you murmur, your hands trailing down to his belt. this time, you don’t hesitate. you undo it slowly, giving him time to react, but he doesn’t stop you. instead, he leans back into the couch, chest rising and falling with each shallow breath.

heeseung’s eyes search yours one more time, a silent question in them. you nod gently, giving him permission to be vulnerable, to trust you fully.

and when your hands pull his pants down, you can feel the heat of him, see the evidence of his desire. you take your time, enjoying the way he reacts to each touch, savoring the way he trembles under your hands.

you start by rubbing over his bulge when your eyes widen. 

he just stares back at you, not blinking, but incredibly nervous. “is– is something wrong?” he stutters out. 

“wrong? no, heeseung. you’re huge.” 

he blushes and hides his face in his hands. his veiny hands. you’ll definitely need to put those to use later. 

you softly drag his hands away from his face and tell him to never hide from you. you think he’s beautiful like this. 

after he calms down, you look back into his eyes that resemble a deer, and he nods. signaling you to continue. 

you finally trail your eyes down to his raging hard on, you can almost see it pulse. 

his breath quickens the longer you take to begin touching him.

you start by teasing his swollen tip, arousal evident in the stain on his gray boxers. he sighs heavily, tipping his head back.

as you rub your hand down to his base, you get a feel for how thick he truly is. 

he’s hard. aching. even at the slightest touch, his eyebrows furrow and he holds back soft groans. 

you rip your hand off his clothed bulge. “if you want me to continue, you need to let me hear you, baby.” 

that was his breaking point, he quickly nods his head yes looking at you with pleading eyes, “c—can you please touch me? it hurts.” 

not wanting to tease him any longer, you rip his boxers off his thighs and his throbbing length slaps against his lower abdomen reaching just above his belly button. precum smears on his abs and you get the urge to lick it off.

so you do.

you gently move his dick away from his toned stomach, swiping your wet muscle along his abs, sucking to leave light marks. 

the noises he makes are downright pornographic, and you think you’ll never be able to hear them enough.

moving your attention back to the hardness in your grasp, you begin to lick up his shaft, tracing each vein with the tip of your tongue. his head is still tipped back, frustrating you a bit because you want his attention on you. 

so… in one swift motion, you take him down your throat until his tip hits the back. his head shoots up and he moans. loud. 

heeseung is in heaven. the feeling of your throat constricting around his cock, he never wants you to pull off of him. he gently pulls your hair into a ponytail, hands shaking when you start moving.

his apartment is filled with filthy noises: wet, loud, and obscene. 

he can hear and feel your gag reflexes kicking in but you don’t budge. you continue to move up and down, not wanting to stop until he cums. 

his tipping point was you somehow taking him even further down your throat, nose brushing his pelvis. he thought you were going to take a break for air but you didn't. 

you stay.

swallowing around him.

the pressure in your jaw is almost unbearable but when you feel his thighs shaking, you know he’s close. and you need to ruin him. 

hollowing your cheeks, you swirl your tongue around his engorged tip, hands coming up to play with his heavy balls. he can’t hold back anymore. the sensation of you taking his whole cock down your tiny throat and the stimulation of his balls in your hands. he groans. 

desperate. low. deep

and spills down your throat. warm, wet, and sticky ropes, pour out of his tip. taking up all the space you had left, some spilling out from the corners of your mouth.

you swallow all that you can, then pull off from his dick. 

heavy breathing is the only thing that can be heard. heeseung threw an arm over his eyes, chest heaving, trying to regain control of his senses.

meanwhile, you haven’t stopped clenching your thighs together. 

you didn’t even notice you were staring until he clears his throat. he just looks so gorgeous all fucked out.

“wow. did you– swallow.. it?” he asks through pants. 

you answer him like it was the most natural thing in the world, “yeah, because it was you” 

he moans, again. and that’s when you notice he’s still hard, still aching. 

as you move to straddle his lap, he grabs your thighs and wraps your legs around his waist. “not here, i want our first time to be special” he says softly, with a kiss to your temple. 

he carries you to his bedroom on wobbly legs and gently lays you down on his bed, hovering on top of you. he plants wet kisses all over your face, trailing down to your neck, collarbones, until he reaches your covered chest.

looking at you with big, lust filled eyes, he waits for your green light. you nod and he fumbles with your bra clasp, eventually tearing the fabric away. 

“you’re stunning,” he says completely awestruck by your half-naked form. 

as he continues staring, he licks his lips, slowly lowering his head wrapping his soft lips around one of your perky buds. 

you instinctively arch into his touch, one of his hands wrapping around your waist as his other hand gently kneads your other boob. soft gasps and whines slip from your lips as you try to grind up in search of any friction where you need it most. 

he senses your desperate pleas and starts moving his body to slot between your legs, face in front of your clothed core. you wiggle your hips trying to convince him to speed up and touch you where you need it the most. 

“can i…?” he practically begs, “yeah” you sigh as you relax into his plush sheets. he drags your sweats down your soft legs planting kisses along the inside of your thighs, all the way down to your calves. he makes his way to your panty clad pussy, pressing a soft kiss to your bundle of nerves aching for him. 

you don’t think you’ve ever been this turned on before.

he looks so good between your thighs, you want this image ingrained into your brain forever. 

he brings his thumb up to press on the wet spot that’s formed on your panties, groaning, “fuck, you’re so wet.” 

“all for you.” 

he replays those words in his head and his patience snaps. tearing your underwear in half, he wastes no time. tongue lapping and the wetness between your legs, like he’s been deprived of any liquid all his life.

you’ve never met someone this desperate to eat you out. or anyone for that matter.

he mumbles against your core, “guide me, please, wan’ you t’feel good, mmh.”

your hands take place in his silky soft roots, gently tugging on the strands. 

through whimpers, you tell him to focus on your clit, and surprisingly (for a virgin), he finds it fairly quickly. 

he briefly sucks on the nub, flicking it with his tongue to soothe it. “fuck, hee” you moan out into the space of his bedroom. 

he groans against your pussy, carefully bringing up his fingers so he can push his tongue into your awaiting hole. the moment he starts fucking you with his tongue, you arch your back and grind into his face, needing more. 

he heard his friends talking about “prep” and “stretching girls out,” so he wonders if you need to be stretched out to take him. you said he was huge, did you mean it? he has no idea, he’s a pathetic virgin who has only shoved his dick into his right hand. not even a pocket pussy or fleshlight. 

to your dismay, he pulls away for a brief second asking if he should use his fingers. “please, i need you to stretch me out, i can’t– take you without prep,” you rush out feeling your high not far away.

“shit, okay baby,” he mutters back before bringing his middle finger up to spread your juices around. 

your hips jerk up when he focuses on your clit, surprised by the stimulation. 

slowly, he pushes his finger in, getting used to the warm sensation of your walls. 

you clench around his thick digit, feeling fuller than when you finger yourself. as he pumps it in and out, you tell him to add another one and he does. 

moaning in relief, you arch into his touch as his tongue finds its way back to your sensitive clit. 

between him lapping like a dog and the feeling of two of his fingers pumping in and out of your tight hole, you feel a familiar band in your stomach building up.

your moans increase and heeseung feels dizzy, taking in all that you give.

he curves his fingers all while sucking on your bundle of nerves, causing you to tip over the edge and that band in your stomach to snap. 

you come crashing down, chanting his name like a mantra as heeseung helps you ride out your high. 

as you lift your head and meet his gaze, he looks more fucked out than you do. hooded eyes, tongue lolled out of his mouth, gaze consumed with lust. you pull him by the collar of his shirt until your lips collide in a mess of tongues and teeth. 

your makeout session unfortunately doesn’t last long as heeseung starts whining into your lips. 

that’s when you realize his cock found your bent knee, not so subtly grinding against it, trying to relieve some of the ache. 

“feeling needy, are we?” you tease, earning a playful roll of the eyes from heeseung. 

pulling back, you drink in his bare torso– he’s always been muscular as he was very popular with the ladies (until he got into bed with them). 

dragging your hand up his chiseled abs, his stomach tenses and his dick twitches. 

you found his second biggest weakness, besides you. his abs. 

deciding to end the teasing there, since you’re also becoming increasingly impatient, you flip him over so you land on top of him with a quiet, “oof.” 

as you settle your bare core on his rock solid cock, you start grinding, placing your hands on his chest for support. 

he can’t hold back the guttural groans spilling from his mouth. not believing you’re really on top of him right now. this isn’t just one of his wet dreams. 

he thought this couldn’t get any better, but when he struggles to get out a weak ask for a condom, you just respond with “no, i’m– on the pill. need to feel you. all of you.” 

and to that, he moans, not believing his ears. 

it’s his first time. and he’s about to have sex with YOU. raw. he thinks he’s dreaming. there’s no way you’re real.

you gently angle his dick towards your awaiting hole, sinking down until his fat tip is inside you.

instantly, you both sigh in relief, starting to feel the pressure ease up. 

if you feel a stretch at his tip entering you, you don’t know how you’re supposed to fit all of him inside you. he’s the biggest you’ve seen and he doesn’t even know it.

your attention is drawn back to the man consuming your brain when he whines. “m-more, please.” he’s becoming needier the longer you stay at just his tip but you don’t know how to tell him you’ve never taken a size like him before.

“hee-heeseung i need a sec, you’re– fuck. so thick,” you say between moans. 

his grip on your hips tightens, a silent way of telling you to take your time. 

when you finally deem yourself ready, you sink lower, wanting to speed it up, bracing the stretch to come. 

you feel him pulsing inside you and that’s all you need to sink all the way down, him bottoming out inside you. 

it’s his first time feeling anything other than his hand wrapped around him, and he whimpers, loud. it’s overstimulating in the best way possible and before he knows it you move up to his tip and bounce back down. his dick twitches and you feel it. every vein, every pulse, every movement, even his heavy breathing. 

heeseung, not in control of his movements, bucks his hips up, making another non-existent inch fit inside your stretched out core. 

you moan soft and loud, eyes rolling back, as the pain turned into pleasure. bouncing faster on his girthy cock, you uncontrollably clench around him, causing heeseung’s grip to tighten. you know it’ll bruise tomorrow, but at the moment, he feels too good for you to care. 

the room smells of sex, and the only sounds that can be heard are skin clapping and your shared noises. 

heeseung must notice your legs becoming tired because before you know it, you’re flat on your back with heeseung on top of you, cock never slipping out from your pussy. 

his large hands grab each of your thighs, pressing them to your chest.

his pace is slow at first, testing the waters, getting a feel for a rhythm. 

as his hands stay pressed to your thighs, he slowly drags out and pushes all of his dick inside you. 

you feel him deeper in this position, a bulge forming in your lower belly. 

when he notices, his eyes stay glued there.

you wonder what he’s looking at but the moment you look down, you’re met with his hand pressing slightly on the bulge causing the loudest moan to leave your lips. 

he signals you to hold your thighs as one of his hands holds himself up and the other focuses on how he can feel his dick inside your guts with every thrust. 

his pace suddenly quickens when you clench hard around him, making his hips stutter briefly. 

endless praises leave his pretty lips, telling you how good you feel, how hot you look laid underneath him, taking whatever he gives you. 

feeling a familiar, yet new sensation building rapidly, you try to warn him that you’re close but somehow, he already knows. “i know baby, let go whenever you want.” he mutters back, feeling just as close to his high.

“fuck– where do you want it?” he rushes out, not wanting to cum inside you if that isn’t what you want. 

but apparently, all the gods are smiling down on him as you release your thighs from the grip you had on them and wrap your legs around his waist. “inside,” you moan. 

and at that, he cums. hard. ropes of his hot, gooey, cum spill inside you. tipping you over the edge.

with a loud groan, clear liquid comes rushing out from you, spraying all over his sheets and lower abdomen. soaking his dick. 

heeseung moans. again. raw and unfiltered at the fact that you just squirted all over him (he’s seen enough porn and heard too many stories from your shared friend group to know what squirting is). 

as you come down from your high, heeseung is somehow still cumming. it spills out of you, creating an even stickier mess on his bed. but he doesn’t care. 

not when you’re beneath him, chest rising rapidly, trying to catch your breath. 

heeseung’s cock is still lodged inside you, holding half of his cum inside you, not wanting it to go to waste. 

as he collapses on top of you, he places a soft kiss on your forehead, holding your trembling body close to his.

you were the first to speak, “i didn’t even know i could do that,” talking about how you squirted all over him. “guess we both had firsts today,” he softly chuckles. 

his breath is warm against your skin, his arm tightening just a little around your waist as if anchoring himself in the moment. you don’t respond right away, too caught up in the quiet thrum of your heartbeat, the lingering warmth between you, the way his fingers begin tracing gentle, absent-minded shapes against your spine.

“i didn’t expect it to be like this,” you murmur, your voice almost lost in the hush of the room.

“like what?” he asks, voice low, like he’s afraid to shatter the calm.

you shift slightly to face him, resting your head more comfortably on his chest. “soft. safe.”

Hheeseung lets out a breath that sounds like relief and something deeper, something reverent. “yeah,” he whispers. “me neither.”

for a while, neither of you say anything. he pulls the blanket higher over both of you, his other hand brushing your hair back with such tenderness that it makes your eyes sting. he presses a kiss to your forehead, lingering like he means it.

“you okay?” he asks, voice still rough from earlier, but softer now, like the edge of him has been smoothed by your touch.

you nod, then glance up at him. “are you?”

heeseung meets your gaze, and something in his expression shifts. vulnerability bleeding through the cracks he used to hide behind. “i am now.”

your heart squeezes.

he licks his lips, nervous. “i’ve been so stupid with you. all this time, i kept pushing and pulling, thinking maybe if i kept it messy, it’d be easier to walk away if i had to.” he pauses, his voice thinning. “but tonight just… made me realize i don’t want to walk away.”

your breath catches. “heeseung…”

“i don’t want this to be a one time thing,” he says, eyes searching yours. “not the sex, not the closeness. i want you. the fights, the tension, the way you drive me crazy and still somehow make me want to be better just by being around you. i’m so in love with you, it hurts.”

your lips part in surprise, and he laughs quietly, self-deprecating and shy. “too much?”

instead of answering, you lean up and kiss him, slow, deep, and full of all the things you couldn’t say until now. when you pull back, you rest your forehead against his, smiling as his thumb brushes over your cheek.

“i’m in love with you too, idiot.”

he grins, wide and a little teary-eyed, and pulls you closer like he’s never letting go.

and you know he won’t have to.

You Broke Me First - L.hs

pls reblog & leave feedback <3 hope you enjoyed the read ◡̈

[ @jaeyuniversal ] prod. 250417


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3 months ago

park sunghoon — THE PUSSY EATING COMPETITION!

Park Sunghoon — THE PUSSY EATING COMPETITION!

P. munch!sunghoon x fem!reader (17+) | W. pussy eating (obv), squirting, oral, unprotected sex, cursing, multiple orgasms, munches jakehoon + munchwon , freakseung, subspace, biting, other shit i forgot | WC. 5.7k !! | A,N. this one’s for my babychels ! @ak4e7a ♡ … would anyone like a drabble about heeseung’s experience?

in which… jake convinces sunghoon to join a pussy eating competition with a bet !

Park Sunghoon — THE PUSSY EATING COMPETITION!
Park Sunghoon — THE PUSSY EATING COMPETITION!

“you want me to join the what?” sunghoon questioned, his thick eyebrows furrowed, plump lips parted in confusion.

“the pussy eating competition, bro!” jake rolled his eyes as he repeated his sentence for the third time already. reaching over to flick a concerned looking sunghoon’s forehead.

“and why the fuck would i join whatever the fuck that is?” he smacked jake’s hand away when the stinging pain rushed in his head. cursing jake more under his breath. “why the fuck not?” he huffed, “heeseung was at it yesterday, he won his stupid bet with jay.”

“they had a bet?” sunghoon closed his laptop, deciding that whatever notes he was about to take from their lecture can wait until he figures out if jake is being serious or not. “yeah, dude. jay bet heeseung fifty bucks if he could make his girl squirt three times in ten minutes.” jake chuckled at the memory.

“and heeseung won?” sunghoon questioned, eyebrows raised in anticipation this time as jake’s smile only widened. “won the bet in eight minutes and twenty six seconds.” he laughed, sunghoon wasn’t surprised or shocked in any way. he was surprised at jay’s idiocy of choosing ‘ten minutes’ when all heeseung has been doing since he got laid was boast about his squirting ability in their group chat.

and heeseung called himself ‘the pussy squirting fairy’ way too often for their liking.

and besides who even came up with this stupid competition in the first place? who even agreed to any of this? why did heeseung and jay join? and why the fuck was jake asking him to join too?

“listen bro it’s nothing serious— you go to the pussy eating competition center and ask to join in for a competition with someone— in that case that will be me, and then we’ll get to eat some fire pussy out for free so it’s really just a huge win situation.” jake rambled, balancing between his two feet as he continued to convince sunghoon to join in with him.

“we could even place a bet like hyung and jay did! ten minutes for three squirts is a good deal you know? it’s just that heeseung is a fucking frea—“ jake’s voice slowly got tuned out of sunghoon’s ear as he thought about this more.

considering all the possibilities of this competition that still sounded pretty unreal to him, was this a stupid idea? yes. should he trust jake? no. did he not believe this idea because it sounded like a dream? yes. was the last time that sunghoon got offered pussy around three months ago? unfortunately, yes. did he currently feel like a loser teenage boy with his pants tightening at the thought of eating pussy? … also yes.

but was this an opportunity for him to live up to his ‘certified munch hoon’ title though? yes. and was sunghoon going to take it? fuck yes.

“you could also tap out at any minute—“ “where can i apply?” sunghoon interrupted jake’s irritating speech. “it’s not tha— huh?” his eyes widened in surprised, “you want to join?” he tilted his head to the side in a puppy like manner, a twinkle of excitement in his gaze. “you said you were going to join too, right?” sunghoon eyed him warily, a wave of relief washing down on him when jake nodded with enthusiasm.

“you also said we could place bets, yeah?” he questioned, “yes! like the ten minutes for three squirts hyung mad—“ “make it five.” jake gaped at him, blinking his eyes in surprise. “what?”

his hand came up to rest on sunghoon’s shoulder as he tried to process his words, “five minutes?” his gaze became conflicted as the younger nodded, “five minutes for three?” jake tried to understand him more, really trying his best.

“five minutes for five squirts.” jake gulped.

“for a hundered bucks.”

well fuck.

Park Sunghoon — THE PUSSY EATING COMPETITION!

sunghoon was on a mission.

wearing a white, sleeveless shirt along with jeans to make his movements easier, the shirt given to him by jake in order to ‘tell apart who got the more squirts’ according to the wetness that coated the white fabric.

he was now standing in line with jake, the shorter one walking with a slight bounce in his step from his excitement. “are you ready?” he whispered, eyes travelling all over the place where the competition was held.

countless other contestants from both genders aligned in the waiting line, each pair waiting their own turn, some going neck to neck with other friends and placing bets while others threw snarky glances at each other.

truly a competition for some.

“do we atleast get to pick who we get to eat out?” the taller sighed, his ebony locks sticking further to his temples due to his sweat, it was either unreasonably hot or sunghoon was weirdly nervous.

probably unreasonably hot. it was mid july after all.

“i don’t think so.. i didn’t ask hyung—“ “obviously no.” a foreign voice cut off jake, making the two turn around to greet another guy. that was also wearing a white shirt.

“it’s a competition. you don’t get to choose who you get to eat out.” he rolled his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing. god what an obnoxious attitude.

sunghoon rolled his eyes, “pipe the fuck down, jungwon. we get it you practically live here.” jake snapped back. running his fingers through his hair while he turned around. he looked unusually restless for sunghoon’s liking.

i mean, there was a whole hundred dollar bill on the table for this bet.

“park sunghoon and sim jaeyun! you’re up next.” the same guy who jotted down their names in his board, who sunghoon assumed was the manager— called both of their names up to the front.

where sunghoon wasn’t prepared to have his breath knocked out of his lungs so quickly.

as he and jake stepped up the smal staircase leading to the mini stage where two chairs were situated, there sat two girls. very very pretty girls. dreamlike pretty girls. one hundred percent sunghoon’s type. really really pretty gir—

“stop fucking staring like a creep.” jake elbowed him when he realised that sunghoon was basically two seconds away from drooling at the sight of you. sunghoon covered his awkward staring with a strained cough. lowering his head and unknowingly bringing attention to his reddening ears.

which at the sight of, you chuckled.

and sunghoon’s knees almost buckled.

“take your respective positions and be prepared.” the manager, who sunghoon caught a brief glance at the name tag of— mark. ordered them around. sunghoon stepped closer towards you. who stared at him with the most alluring glint in your eyes. you were wearing a pink top with pink lace panties that were covered by a feather light towel. don’t ask how he noticed them.

“hi.. i’m sunghoon.” he spoke awkwardly, extending out his hand towards yours. finding his demeanour adorable, you quickly shook his hand. a smile gracing your features as you introduced yourself to him.

three months shouldn’t be that much time since he got with a girl but it felt like it was centuries ago. especially with the way his heart began to thump thump thump! between his ribs weirdly.

he spared a swift glance to jake, just in time to catch him throwing a flirtatious wink towards his own girl. goodness that dude was a freak himself.

“spare the introductions and get into your positions, what was your bet again?” mark quickly muttered, glancing at the paper in his hand and back at jake and sunghoon. pushing his glasses above the bridge of his nose.

“a hundred bucks.” jake spoke, puffing out his chest in anxiety, “and that’s for ten minutes right? three orgasms in ten?” mark nodded as he wrote down the timing on his paper.

“no actually… it’s five minutes.” jake bit his lips, sunghoon shook his head in slight disbelief and embarrassment at the current situation they were in right now. totally ignoring the fact that there were two drop dead gorgeous girls whispering and giggling right behind them both.

“five minutes for three?” mark questioned, his eyebrows raising in surprise that increased when sunghoon quickly shook his head in denial, “five minutes for five.” mark blinked.

a slight echoing line of ooo’s made their way into jake and sunghoon’s reddened ears, embarrassment crawling up their backs as mark awkwardly cleared his throat and nodded to their words. quickly changing the numbers on the timer and scribbling a few other random sentences on his board.

“we’ll shortly start the timer and the competition will begin.” he stepped back allowing the two to inch back towards the girls, jake spared a quick glance at mark who was now holding onto the alarm clock between his fingers before lowering down to his knees in front of the chair.

sunghoon swiftly followed suit, dropping onto his knees and lifting his head right between your legs to welcome the heavenly view. gosh you looked divine.

“five for five, hm?” you cheekily smiled at him, a sight that made the boy’s heart throb with the sudden need to always make you smile. he nodded shyly, his slightly wavy locks ruffling in his hair in a fluffy manner at the motion. “better not disappoint.” you then discarded the towel to the ground.

“oh i for sure won’t.” sunghoon smirked, a wave of confidence descending on him at the sight of your soaked cunt so close to his face, he could practically taste your leaking essence from the side of your panties.

“on your marks..” the young manager called out, sunghoon skilfully pulled apart your plush thighs, placing your legs on top of his shoulders as jake did the same besides him. you quickly laid back towards the table behind you on your elbows, giving sunghoon full access to anything and everything.

“get set..” mark called out, eyes glued on the button that will start the timer while sunghoon pushed the tip of his nose against your slit, the contact making you hum in delight as his tip pressed against your throbbing clit while your essence soaked through the thin fabric and onto his skin.

he poked his tongue out just slightly, brushing against your sopping hole restricted by the lace fabric that began to slightly irritate him, and sunghoon was gone.

pineapples. cotton candy. cranberries. straight sugar. you tasted otherworldly. it was not surprising that you would taste delicious as you probably do take care of yourself to the best of your ability because of this competition, but for you to taste this dizzying? to have an essence and nectar that melted against his tastebuds like honey?

sunghoon was gone.

“go!” and just like that, sunghoon’s brain was replaced by a horny puddle of mush inside of his skull. unaware of the fact that he pushed and teared your panties to the side, aiming to lick a long, tantalising stripe starting from your hole till he reached your clit where he applied pressure.

the action made your hand shoot towards his head, gripping a handful of his soft hair in your hands as his tongue circled and pushed against your sensitive nub, his large fingers pried your thighs apart when they began to push against him. normally, sunghoon wouldn’t mind getting suffocated by plush and soft thighs like this. yet today, he couldn’t lose a hundered dollar bill against jake. out of all people.

and fucking jake was going at it next to him. making all sorts of wet noises that had his girl throwing her head back in pleasure. while the timer struck twenty five seconds.

fuck, he only had thirty five seconds left for the first minute.

that’s when sunghoon decided to let go of all of his restraints, allowing all the walls he kept to crumble right apart when he pushed your legs around his head, one hand holding your leg to keep your pressed against him as you needed the extra support while the other pushed his middle and ring finger deep inside of you.

a squeal left your mouth when sunghoon attached his plump lips around your clit. sucking and slurping so loudly, obscene noises followed by your moans and the ticking of the timer barely made their way past sunghoon’s ringing ears. he was completely out of it.

he thrusted his finger in and out. quickly in and out. too busy closing his eyes to savour your flavour on his tongue to take notice of the multiple webs of wetness that connected his knuckles and your entrance. his fingers reached so deep, they were so long and the perfect size to cause the most delicious burn in your walls as he stretched them open.

right when the timer hit forty seconds, sunghoon’s fingertip brushed against your sweet spot.

you mewled his name, back arching off of the table as he hummed in delight at the realisation, “found it, didn’t i? it’s right. here.” he accentuated every word with another thrust against the spot that had you seeing stars. you nodded mindlessly as the knot in your abdomen curled on itself the longer sunghoon abused your cunt.

“f-fuck yes! right there, baby. right there.” you encouraged him, moans increasing in volume the harsher sunghoon sucked around your clit, his fingers became even more restless after the sudden petname. baby. that’s right, he was your baby. the only one that will please you from now on.

“yeah, pretty girl? feels good doesn’t it?” sunghoon spoke against your clit, each word sending a vibration right against your spine as pleasure raked through your body in rough waves. it suddenly felt like you were the only two in the world. your surroundings melting in an instant as you gasped his name and praised him for making you feel so good. so ecstatic.

fifty seconds in, and that’s when the coil in your abdomen suddenly snapped.

your climax washed over you out of nowhere, such an intense and speedy build up that you weren’t even able to process anything till you started to shake under sunghoon’s hold. your wetness was dripping down his forearm as he fucked you through your orgasm, each thrust of his finger made your squirt land over his shirt.

first sixty seconds was a complete and easy success.

“first minute is done! one point for sunghoon, and one point for jaeyun.” mark called out. shit, so that fucker also managed to keep up with him then?

he still had four minutes to redeem himself. with the way he was able to easily make you squirt from the first fifty seconds he felt like he knew your body inside out. knew exactly which buttons to push and what nerve to pull to coax out another orgasm out of you. there was no way he was losing.

“minute two starting now!” mark’s voice reached sunghoon’s ears in a muffled manner as he pressed your twitching legs closer to his shoulders, this time sunghoon pushed his long tongue inside of your gushing hole. a lustful glint in his eyes as he reached his slender fingers towards your clit.

rubbing slow, torturous but powerful circles on your aching nub while he licked all over your walls, slurping against your wetness that leaked down his chin and made its way down his neck, fuck he was so addicted to your flavour.

your moans became weaker as your body tried to calm down from your previous orgasm, such a mind blowing climax washing down on your body so suddenly made your head spin. and sunghoon was already overstimulating you as he worked towards another orgasm. fuck. you, yourself were done for under him.

he felt so good. so skilled as he satisfied and pleasured you in ways you’ve never felt before. his strong, muscular arms keeping your legs open as he buried his face so mindlessly between them, diving into your wetness with no other care in the world as if he was born to do this.

he lived to devour pussy. truly suitable for a competition like this.

“gonna give me another one hm?” twenty nine seconds.

“think you can handle another one, babydoll?” he taunted, barely pulling out his tongue to speak before burying it back inside of you, his fingers never halting to a stop as they began to pinch and pull at your clit. the familiar tightening in your lower stomach made your mind reel while your silence began to frustrate sunghoon.

that’s when he landed a harsh slap against your clit. the sudden pain and pleasure making you jolt under his hold as you nearly screamed out his name. “y-yes, yes i can! please, i’ll give you as many as you want!” you cried out, your broken begs rushing directly into his aching cock in the confines of his jeans. exactly what he needed to hear.

“what a good fucking girl, hm? such a good girl for me, aren’t ya?” he mocked, hand resorting back to circling on your clit as he buried himself in your folds, his nose brushed up against his fingers while he thrusted his tongue in and out of you stimulating you in the best ways possible.

thirty seven seconds was all it took for sunghoon to make you squirt on him for the second time. in the span of a minute and a half.

he slapped against your leaking hole while you convulsed beneath him, each slap getting his shirt wetter which signalled mark to announce “minute two half way done, two points for sunghoon and one for jaeyun!”

jake’s noise of surprised went unnoticed by sunghoon, almost half way in. he thought to himself as he lifted your limp legs off of his shoulders and balanced himself on his knees again.

he pressed your legs together, making your swollen, glistening folds puff up one each other while your nectar slipped out of your hole in heavy, clear droplets. sunghoon wanted to do nothing more than to slurp it all up.

without wasting anymore time, he pushed his mouth against your cunt, kissing up against your folds as the timer showcased fifty seconds, as cocky as this might sound but he already knew he won. especially when he inhaled your scent deeply and pushed his nose and mouth onto your entrance again. successful in making you scream his name this time.

he held your shaking legs up with one hand, grip strong and tight as he relished in your flavour running down his throat. so addicted as he ate you out like a drunk man. completely high on your pussy. he sucked and licked and kissed everywhere so noisily.

sucking up your swollen and sensitive folds into his mouth, coating every inch of your skin in his saliva that combined with your own wetness before returning to slurp around your clit. his mind was reeling. becoming a mushy piece of muscle in his head as the only thought that drove him to continue was to make you squirt again.

“minute three starting now, with two points to sunghoon and two points to jaeyun. yet another tie!” fuck, jake was catching up.

but sunghoon for some reason was starting to not mind.. call it the euphoria of getting high off of pussy or anything else. he no longer wanted to do this to beat jake and win a hundred dollars. he wanted to do this because it felt good. you felt good.

and just like that, he began to indulge himself in your cunt entirely. surrendering and making his rational side disappear as he hummed and moaned at your taste. shaking his head from side to side as he slurped you up so well. drooling your essence further down his chin as he pleasured you because it was his own pleasure.

each moan of his sent shocks around you body. your surroundings blurring as the air around you became electrified. goosebumps aligning your skin when you felt another climax building up gradually in your abdomen. the longer he spent humming around your clit and buzzing up your whole body the further you felt your consciousness slipping away from your fingertips.

guess you couldn’t really handle it after all.

it was at three minutes and fifteen seconds when sunghoon made you squirt for the third time.

your hands shot to grip onto the chair that was by now shaking with your body, hot white ecstasy blinding your vision as your climax washed down on your body in violent waves one after the other. and sunghoon just kept going. noisily slurping up everything you offered. he was being so embarrassingly loud as he kept rubbing his face into your cunt, getting your wetness all over his face and jaw. overstimulating you more with each passing second while your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

“three minutes and twenty seconds in! three points for sunghoon and two for jake!” mark announced, his voice becoming unusually strained as the sight of the two men on their knees doing their best to pleasure their girls was starting to get to him.

it was his least favourite part of his job when he started to feel a tightening in his pants.

“so good for me, doll. we only need two more, come on. you can give it to me right?” you nodded with your head spinning. a dizzying sense of pleasure raking through your veins. sunghoon settled down for gentle bites across your thighs, giving you a few moments to cool down as he looked up.

big mistake.

the sight of you had one of his hands shooting down towards his raging boner that began uncontrollably twitching between his boxers. your pretty pink tank top ridden up revealing the underside of the plush skin of your breasts, a sheen layer of sweat coating your body as you breathed in deeply to calm your heart down when it felt like it was seconds away from bursting.

your fucked out expression is what did it for him. eyes hazed and high off pleasure. drunk on the feeling of his plump lips on your swollen cunt that tightened around nothing. sunghoon was so fucked.

“so needy for me isn’t she..?” he whispered only for you to hear, fascinated in the way your gaping hole winked at him. spilling out more of your sweet nectar that became sunghoon’s favourite drug in the matter of a few minutes. you grew flustered at his words, lifting your arm up t cover your eyes while sunghoon blew on your pussy teasingly.

discarding the competition and the fact that there were people around him, sunghoon quickly lifted himself up, leaning his body forward above yours as he began to hover on top of you. your breath hitched at the close proximity while sunghoon smiled adorably, showcasing you his pretty fangs that were sinking down your thighs just a few seconds ago.

“ready to give me another one, little girl?” he whispered. so so close to your face that his wet lips that were covered in your essence brushed against yours with every word. you nodded shyly, slowly getting fucked into subspace as your mind began to shut down. eyes blinking slowly while sunghoon pushed his long fingers back inside of you. gosh you were so cute.

three minutes and thirty two seconds in, and you were gripping onto sunghoon’s bicep that pushed his fingers inside of you deeper.

you were mewling and whimpering his name so prettily. so perfect and delicate under him. under his control allowing him to do anything with your body and it was driving him crazy. he couldn’t hold himself back when he finally pushed his lips against yours.

you moaned so endearingly under him. kissing him back so eagerly as his fingertip massaged your sweet spot making you bite gently on his lower lip. he groaned into your mouth as he fucked his fingers quicker. hitting all your spots with each thrust and making you see stars while he sucked on the tip of your tongue.

he didn’t care that he could be breaking rules right now. did not give a singular flying fuck that mark could be looking around confused wondering if this was accepted. and certainly did not even mind when jake scored his third point. all he wanted and needed right now was for you to cum for him as many times as possible. he needed to feel you tightening as your euphoria made you fall apart in his hold. it was a pleasure that he got addicted to.

“you close baby? feeling good hm?” he didn’t even need you to respond to him. not when your cunt was doing all the talking by clenching and drooling down his wrist. sucking in three of his fingers in so deeply he could only imagine how incredible you would feel around his cock, but in reality he shouldn’t imagine that right now. not when his dick was about to practically rip apart his boxers.

“s’close hoon.. so so close!” you blabbered, brain completely shutting down as you couldn’t tell apart your orgasm and overstimulation anymore. all you could feel and process was the unbelievable amount of pure ecstatic pleasure rushing throughout your whole body so wonderfully that it had you digging your nails into his back. your legs going numb under you as your knot tightened and tightened for the fourth time. almost done.

“come on, babydoll. cum for me like the good girl that you are.” he whispered against your neck and that was enough for you to squirt around his fingers again. he kept fucking into you, riding out your orgasm as your throat was no longer able to produce any noises, only soft whispers of pleads reaching sunghoon’s ear as he scored his fourth point easily.

he kissed along your jawline when he stilled his fingers inside of you, “please what, pretty girl?” he asked, already having a fleeting wild thought in his head that he discarded because he might actually lose his sanit— “i need your cock please. please for the last one, please fuck me.” holy fuck.

“three minutes and fifty six seconds in! four points for sunghoon and three for jaey— why are you taking your pants o?—“ mark’s voice became unreasonably loud towards the end but sunghoon was on a mission.

five squirts is five squirts. a hundred dollar bill is a hundred dollar bill. he’s not about to lose any of this because he didn’t push his cock into a pretty little hole like yours. no he was about to make his win a double win.

sunghoon pushed down both his jeans and boxers down in one go, his leaking cock springing out the tight pieces of fabric with multiple lines of precum dribbling down to his balls, thick mushroom tip that’s a fiery red throbbing in need and desire while your swollen hole gaped at him.

yeah he was gonna lose if he didn’t fuck you for sure.

“you ready, doll?” he asked as if he hadn’t spent the past few minutes stretching you out so nicely. you nodded so eagerly at his words. mouth watering at the sight of his veiny, thick cock pulsating so deliciously in front of you. he was so big. such a perfect size for stretching you out more.

he pushed the head of his cock in and god was he huge. you gasped around his lips when he gave you a few seconds to adjust before pushing his entire length in, bottoming out quicker than anticipated, but sunghoon didn’t care.

he couldn’t care less about the fact that he was fucking you in front of random people right now. why should he care when he knew he was going to bring you home by the end of the day and slither his way into your life after this? in fact, people should be glad because this will be the last time you’ll be seen here.

because he’s planning on having you in strawberry pink lingeries between his silky satin sheets for the rest of his life.

so technically, everyone should be glad they’re getting a show of you both right now. because it’ll be the last one.

“so deep hoon.. so fuckin’ deep..” you mewled, eyes shutting in pleasure when he slightly pulled out, barely by an inch before he thrusted back in. he felt the way your warm walls pulsed around his cock needily. sucking him back in with each movement as if they were not allowing him to pull out at all. so needy and so desperate to have something, anything to plug up your slutty hole.

“feeling good, pretty girl?” he asked, lowering his hand to press on the evident bulge that appeared on your lower stomach. the feeling made the two of you groan in pleasure, sunghoon was fleeting through cloud nine. he couldn’t believe how he went on with his life for so many years without spending each passing inside your cunt. so many time wasted when he could’ve been drunk on the heaven between your legs.

“s’good! so good, hoon.” gasping out the new petname that had his eyes rolling back, he glanced at the timer that was held by a flustered mark, palming his raging boner through his pants and noticed “four minutes and twenty nine seconds.” yeah the game was his. he won.

he switched his position, balancing himself back on his legs as he gripped your thighs, wrapping them around his waist while he sunk his cock in deeper. relishing in the sight of you throwing your head back when he penetrated you so good. the tip of his dick kissing against your cervix harshly. and just like that, he began to pound inside of you.

your unrestrained moans tumbled past your lips at his harsh thrusts. body being lit ablaze with mind numbing pleasure that enlivened every part of you. a different, never felt before kind of thrill rushed through your being. a fervent sensation that you’ve never experienced, one only brought to you by sunghoon as he continued to fuck you. determined on making you crumble completely around his cock.

and his wish was about to be granted with the way your abdomen began to tighten. exhaustion creeping up on you along with an almost scary build up of your climax. you were about to get knocked out with this one and you felt it.

“come on, angel. give me another one. the final one, i know you can do it, doll.” he encouraged, pressing his hand on his bulge that disappeared and appeared with every one of his thrusts, his large hand applying the perfect amount of pressure to have your head spin again. seconds away from cumming on his cock for the first time. his tip pressed and massaged all of your spots perfectly. “it’s right here, isn’t it? this is where you’re weak for me.” he chuckled.

you were slowly losing consciousness at this rate, body burning with euphoria that flashed through your limbs. “f-fuck i’m s’close! hoon— fuck!” you screamed his name as you felt your pleasure crashing down on you for the fifth time. walls tightening and clenching mercilessly making sunghoon hiss in pain while you squirted all over his abdomen.

the pressure from your orgasm made it hard for him to thrust back, but he continued. “and five points for sunghoon! at four minutes and fifty one seconds! park sunghoon is the winner of the pussy eating competition!” a new voice cheered from behind him, one that belonged to a taller manager that appeared since mark had to leave for a quick and ‘urgent’ bathroom break, making his best friend, johnny announce the winner.

but did the winner in question care right now? not really.

ignoring jake’s protests of disappointment and the sounds of his girl comforting him and finding him being upset adorable, also ignoring jake’s yells of shock and disbelief when he looked over and realised that sunghoon was currently balls deep inside of his girl. “i didn’t know you could literally fuck?!” he practically screamed at johnny as his girl tried to hold him back from jumping the taller guy.

yet all of this, went unnoticed by both you and sunghoon. who was now chasing his own pleasure inside of your divine pussy that kept trying to push him out while your back arched in his hold, pushing your chest against his as your body shook with complete overstimulation. he buried himself so deep inside of you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as he hugged you when he pressed his tip against your cervix entirely before shooting his load inside of you.

both of you groaned in pleasure, sunghoon whimpering your name as his climax came down on him with intense ecstasy that coursed through his body. each nerve ending of his blazing with fire while his mind melted. you felt so unreal.

he finally came down from his high, allowing the two of you to catch your breaths as he was rooted still so deep inside of you. “you okay, doll?” he mumbled lowly only for you to hear, panting on your skin while you nodded tiredly, eyes clearly droopy and sleepy making him chuckle. finding all of your expressions so adorable.

“you did so good for me, little girl.” he kissed your lips, savouring the taste of you on his tongue and lips before he gently pulled away. pulling his softening length out and quickly fixing his clothing before grabbing your discarded towel to help clean you up. unaware of the fact that there was a looming, pissed jaeyun behind him like his shadow.

“what the fuck sunghoon!?” he suddenly yelled, making the two of you jump in surprise before you tiredly looked over and sunghoon angrily turned around. “the fuck are you yelling for?” he furrowed his eyebrows, seriously what was this dude thinking right now?

“you cheated!” he pointed his finger, eyes wide with the accusation as sunghoon only glanced at him one more time before returning to assist you. “didn’t he basically cheat?!” the shorter one turned around to face johnny who was too busy flirting with the next contestants, “yeah yeah you could do anything as long as you make the girl squirt, sim” he waved him off.

“why the fuck am i just knowing this?!”

at the end of the competition, sunghoon— as predicted won. he walked out of that place with not only an upset jaeyun and a hundred dollar bill, but also the love of his life.

Park Sunghoon — THE PUSSY EATING COMPETITION!

a,note. thanks for reading !! (⺣◡⺣)♡

1 month ago

min’s tracklist

Min’s Tracklist

⤑ lee heeseung (이희승)

──. ♬ ݁˖ mix 1: you broke me first

⤑ park jongseong (박종성)

ׂ╰┈➤ producing mixtapes…

⤑ sim jaeyun (심재윤)

──. ♬ ݁˖ mix 1: nonsense

⤑ park sunghoon (박성훈)

ׂ╰┈➤ producing mixtapes…

⤑ kim sunoo (김선우)

ׂ╰┈➤ producing mixtapes…

⤑ yang jungwon (양정원)

ׂ╰┈➤ producing mixtapes…

⤑ nishimura riki (西村力)

──. ♬ ݁˖ mix 1: anxiety

Min’s Tracklist

Tags
1 week ago

nonsense - s.jy

Nonsense - S.jy

pairing: loser shy tutor!sim jaeyun x outgoing tutee fem!reader

synopsis: you're loud, confident, and a little too good at making shy boys squirm. your only issue is you’ve always hated physics—until you meet your painfully shy tutor, jake sim. he’s awkward, brilliant, and blushes every time you call him cute. so naturally, you flirt. hard. at first, he stammers and short-circuits, but as study sessions stack up, jake starts to change. maybe it’s the way you lean a little too close or how he starts to flirt back (badly, but adorably).

featuring: jake sim of enhypen n maki from &team!!

genre: college au fluff!!!

warnings: jake has his first kiss, making-out?? kind of. a bit of jealousy, jake is just a super cute loser. lowercase intended ◡̈

playlist: nonsense by sabrina carpenter & soft spot by keshi

wc: 2.411k

a/n: i fear i will ride the loser jake wave forever! i love nerdy men <3 btw this is not proofread...

Nonsense - S.jy

you’ve always hated physics.

not because you didn’t get it — okay, maybe a little because of that — but mostly because it was boring. theories and forces and laws. rinse and repeat. you weren’t failing physics. not exactly.

you were, however, spending an uncomfortable amount of time squinting at your textbook wondering how the hell you’d gone from memorizing song lyrics in under a minute to barely remembering newton’s third law. you told yourself it wasn’t that bad. then your lab partner dropped out, and your professor kindly suggested that you “seek out support.”

support came in the form of jake sim.

quiet. polite. a little too handsome for his own good. glasses-wearing, formula-spouting jake, with a habit of ducking his head when people talked too loudly. you’d seen him around campus before — usually alone, sometimes reading while walking (impressive), always in a hoodie two sizes too big, and baggy jeans that he almost steps on. 

you’d think he was popular, but those thick framed glasses always resting on his perfect nose made you think otherwise. 

your meet-cute wasn’t the typical coffee-spill-and-eye-contact thing. it happened last semester, during an elective you were both in: intro to astronomy. you’d been running late one day, flustered and frantic, only one seat left in the lecture hall. next to him. you took it.

he didn’t even glance up.

not until halfway through the class, when you leaned over and whispered, “sorry if i’m invading your orbit.”

he looked at you like he didn’t get the joke. (he didn’t.)

but later that day, you got an anonymous compliment on the university confessions page. “to the girl who sat next to me in astronomy and said something about orbits… you kind of wrecked mine.”

you knew it was him. and you never forgot.

───

“you don’t have to hover,” jake mumbled, eyes focused on the problem set in front of him.

“i’m not hovering. i’m observing… like a particle. you know, in motion.”

“that’s not… how particles work.”

you smiled to yourself. “i was hoping you'd say that.”

he flushed immediately. jake didn’t handle flirting well. hell, he had never even felt the touch of a woman, nevertheless flirted with one. 

you’d learned this by session two. if you got too close, he got tongue tied. if you complimented him, he’d practically glitch. it was fascinating. like a physics experiment, but cuter.

“what happens when you apply an external force to a closed system?” you asked, tapping your pencil.

he looked up slowly, suspicious. “depends on the force.”

you leaned in, gaze playful. “what if it’s me?”

he froze.

“y/n,” he said quietly, “you’re not even trying to learn right now.”

“that’s where you’re wrong, mr. sim.” you leaned back in your chair, spinning your pencil between your fingers. “i’ve been learning a lot.”

he narrowed his eyes, skeptical but intrigued. “like what?”

you met his gaze, serious now. “like how you pretend you didn’t notice me in astronomy last semester. even though you did.”

jake stiffened. his pen slipped from his fingers and rolled across the table.

“i—i didn’t—how did you—”

“i recognized your handwriting,” you said softly. “from the confession post.”

his face went scarlet.

you tilted your head, a smile tugging at your lips. “you called me orbit girl.”

jake looked like he wanted to disappear into the earth’s mantle. “i didn’t think you saw that.”

“i did. i screenshotted it.” you shrugged casually, then added, “still have it.”

he looked like you’d just told him you’d been keeping a shrine in your closet. but beneath the panic, something else flickered — hope, maybe?

“…why didn’t you say anything?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

and there it was. the plot twist.

you dropped your eyes to your notebook, fingers idly brushing a corner.

“i was going to,” you said. “but you never talked to me again. i figured you weren’t interested.”

jake looked stunned. like he’d just missed the punchline to his own joke.

“no! i mean– um…i wasn’t not interested,” he said quickly. “i just didn’t think someone like you would ever…”

“what?” you said, raising a brow. “flirt with their physics tutor?”

jake swallowed hard. “like me back.”

there was a beat of silence. you reached across the table, nudging his pen back toward him.

“you’re cute when you’re nervous, jake” he blushed and wrapped up the tutoring session, brain too flustered to continue talking about his second favorite subject (you’re his favorite). 

───

you asked around for jake’s number which proved to be very difficult. 

no one had it.

so, you did the only thing you could think of. you went to every cafe within a 15 mile radius of your campus, hoping to find the shy boy.

your mission to find him ended up taking longer than anticipated, misjudging how many cafe’s surrounded decelis. you’ve been to 23 and counting, not once finding the fluffy haired boy with glasses way too big for his adorable face. 

as you walk into the twenty-fourth cafe, you think you see him. striped shirt, slightly messy brown hair, around 5’9ish. you walk up to him, tapping on his shoulder when someone behind you calls your name.

“y/n?”

you whip your head around to be met with those big, dark hazel eyes you adored so much.

his plump, heart-shaped lips were wrapped around the straw of his green grape ade, softly biting the plastic. his head was strewn to the side, resembling a golden retriever. 

“i found you!” you happily cheered as you made your way to the little table he was at. 

“f-found me? were you… looking? for me?” he stuttered which made you giggle. 

you fondly smiled at him, “yeah. i was.”

after you ordered an iced mocha, you guys sat in a comfortable silence until you spoke. 

“so,” you said, stirring whipped cream into your drink, “what’s a physics genius like you doing tutoring me when you could be dating someone who understands quantum mechanics?”

jake almost spat out his coffee.

you smiled sweetly. “kidding. kind of.”

“i—i don’t think I’m a genius,” he mumbled. “and I’m not — uh — dating anyone.”

“oh, i know,” you said casually, resting your chin on your hand. “campus gossip moves fast.”

jake’s eyes widened. “wait — what do you mean? what gossip? about me?”

you laughed. “relax, jake. you’re just a bit of a mystery. tall, soft spoken, brainy, never goes to parties. people notice.”

he stared at you like you’d told him he was famous.

you sipped your drink and shrugged. “i noticed.”

the cup trembled in his hand.

“…thanks?” he said, though it sounded more like a question than a statement.

you leaned forward. “you say that like you don’t believe me.”

jake’s mouth opened, then closed again.

he was still trying to respond when the barista called out your name, signaling your pastries were ready. you winked at him on the way up and when you turned back, he was still watching you, straw halfway to his mouth, like he couldn’t believe any of this was real. 

───

you had your feet up on the seat across from you, swinging gently as you skimmed your notes. jake sat across from you, hoodie sleeves shoved up to his elbows, manspreading with his textbook open on his lap.

you knew what you were doing when you stretched, your shirt riding up slightly as you leaned across the table to reach a pencil. you knew jake saw. his eyes darted down and back up so fast it was like a reflex.

“everything okay?” you asked sweetly.

“fine!” he said, voice three octaves too high. “great. normal. yup.”

you laughed, tossing your pen down. “you know, if we were measuring awkward tension in this room, we’d have to switch to the richter scale.”

jake groaned and dropped his head into his hands. “why are you like this?”

“because it’s fun watching you short-circuit.”

he peeked at you through his fingers, a lopsided grin starting to form. “you’re evil.”

“i prefer charming.’”

there was a beat of silence. then, softly—

“you are.”

your smile faltered. just for a second. “what?”

jake met your eyes, cheeks still flushed but voice steady. “charming.”

you blinked. it was the first time he’d said something like that without tripping over his own tongue.

“…jake sim,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “are you flirting with me?”

he shrugged — shrugged — with fake nonchalance. “maybe.”

you stared at him.

he stared back.

and then — his pencil rolled off the table and he smacked his head on the edge trying to catch it.

“still me,” he groaned, face down on the table. “still a loser.”

you couldn’t help it. you laughed so hard you nearly fell out of your chair. he was cute and adorably clumsy. exactly. your type. 

───

the next session, you came in with your usual confidence. playful comments. flirty glances.

but jake didn’t fold this time. (immediately).

in fact, when you were about to lean over to grab his calculator, he reached past you and did it first. smooth. like he was testing you.

“looking for this?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

your eyes narrowed suspiciously. “who are you and what have you done with jake?”

he smiled — cocky, but still nervous. “maybe i’m learning.”

you tilted your head. “is this some physics thing? like, building resistance?”

“more like acceleration,” he said softly. “you keep pushing. i’m picking up speed.”

you stared at him.

he immediately panicked. “i mean — not in a creepy way — i just meant—”

you cut him off with a smirk. “careful, jake. you flirt like you solve equations — painfully accurate.”

he blushed again, but this time, he didn’t back away. instead, he looked at you for a long moment, then leaned in a little, just enough to make your breath catch.

“you said once that you noticed me before,” he murmured.

“yeah,” you said slowly.

he smiled, shy and genuine. “i think i’ve been noticing you for a lot longer.”

you forgot how to breathe for a second.

and then he bumped your knee under the table, awkward as ever. “anyway, we should… probably go over magnetic fields now.”

you grinned, heart racing. “god, you’re such a loser.”

“your loser,” he said quietly.

and somehow, that was the smoothest line of all.

───

the tutoring session was going fine.

that is, until maki showed up.

you were in the library lounge, halfway through a problem on thermodynamics, when a voice interrupted.

“y/n?”

you looked up. riki maus (known as maki). same year, tall, charming, objectively hot in that annoying way that made girls forgive him for talking through labs.

“hey,” you said, blinking. “didn’t know you were on this floor.”

jake went completely still next to you, pen frozen mid-equation.

maki barely glanced at him. “i was just heading out, but i had to say hi. you doing okay with physics? i tutor sometimes too, you know.”

jake’s grip on his pen tightened.

“oh?” you asked, amused. “you tutor now?”

maki shrugged. “not officially. but i could make time. for you.”

you opened your mouth, ready to tease him back, but jake’s voice cut in first.

“she already has a tutor.”

maki blinked, like he’d just noticed him. “right. sim, yeah? you’re in physics lab.”

“yeah,” jake said, still quiet, but there was an edge now. “i’ve got it covered.”

you turned to jake, brows lifting slightly. was he… tense?

maki grinned. “no offense, man, but i’ve heard tutoring y/n is more like surviving her. you sure you can handle it?”

jake stood.

you blinked. jake stood.

he was taller than you remembered. towering over maki, still in his soft hoodie and baggy jeans, but standing like something had clicked. like a switch had flipped.

“i can handle her,” he said, voice even. “better than anyone else.”

maki raised his hands. “okay. chill, bro.”

he gave you one last glance and walked off.

you looked up at jake. he was still standing, chest rising and falling like he was trying to keep it together.

“jake?”

his eyes met yours. there was something in them you hadn’t seen before. something fierce.

“do you like him?” he asked.

you frowned. “maki? god, no.”

he exhaled like he’d been holding his breath. stepped closer.

“because i don’t like seeing guys like that flirt with you.”

you tilted your head, heart starting to pick up. “jealousy doesn’t suit you, sim.”

“i know,” he said quietly. “but you do.”

and then he kissed you.

you didn’t expect it. not from him. not like this.

not with his hand cradling your cheek so gently it made your heart ache, not with the way his lips pressed to yours like he’d been waiting for this moment for weeks — months — forever.

your breath caught. he was warm. steady. his lips moved with surprising confidence, slow at first, then deeper, more certain as you kissed him back.

his other hand found your waist, pulled you in, grounded you. like he was afraid you might disappear if he let go.

your fingers curled in his hoodie, body leaning into his. he tilted his head just slightly and kissed you like a man who had solved the formula for gravity and decided to fall anyway.

wanting to deepen the kiss, you moved your thumb to his jaw, signaling him to open his mouth wider.

he (hopefully) got the hint and slowly but surely slotted his tongue right against yours. he wanted to memorize every part of you and figured he should start with your mouth.

it was as if your lips and tongues moved in perfect synchronization. like puzzle pieces.

when he finally pulled back, it was only enough to rest his forehead against yours.

you both stood there, catching your breath.

“…wow” you said, dazed. “what the hell, sim.”

he stared at you. blinked. once. twice. “w-was it okay? did i — do it wrong?”

silence. 

he spoke again, “that was kinda.. my first — um — my first kiss…” 

you let out a disbelieving laugh. “what do you mean that was your first kiss??? you kissed me like you’ve been rehearsing it in your dreams.”

he looked away. shy. “…maybe i have.”

you narrowed your eyes. “wait. have you?”

he winced. “that was a joke.”

it was silent for a hot minute.

“…mostly. i—i never really get close to pretty girls because i don’t— well i don’t go out. so. um. yeah…” 

you grabbed his hoodie and pulled him closer until your lips were right in front of his plush ones. “stop speaking nonsense and kiss me again, sim.” 

he didn’t hesitate. just smiled at you and slammed your lips on his. he kissed you like he was finally where he belonged.

and maybe he was.

because nerdy physics tutors?

yeah. they might know the laws of motion — but now he knew what it felt like to crash into you.

Nonsense - S.jy

please reblog if you enjoyed this cute lil fic ! it helps a lot <3

[ @jaeyuniversal ] prod. 250508


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jaeyuniversal - minnie ・❥・
minnie ・❥・

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