16.09.24

14.05.24

Today is a full study day- exams are drawing near and the pressure is definitely getting to me. Spring semester is so much harder. I have no idea how I'm meant to get so much content memorised by the exams.

On top of this, I have my lab report- no matter how much I work on it, I'm not making any progress, I don't know what to do.

Deep breaths

I had a very late start to the day- I forgot to eat yesterday and people were in my kitchen all morning. I didn't want to leave for the library before eating. Very dramatic I know. I think I was just finding any excuse for more time in bed. I'm in the library now, planning on getting alot done. I brought my coat even though it's May, it's spotting outside but my big coat is too much. I'll need a smaller/lighter one for Malaysia. I can't study too long because I have an event tomorrow.

I spent a long time resting- I need to learn to not push myself too hard. I feel like I'm making no progress with revision and really don't want to fail.

16.05.24

(Pics of some blurry bunnies I saw)

Its the weekend! Its a Sunday but work as normal for me- my lab report and first exam is on Monday and I need to make alot of progress on both before I'm ready. There's nothing worse than submitting a piece of unfinished work- or going into an exam feeling unprepared, so I'm trying to avoid both- its definitely a juggling act.

Getting stressed doesn't help anyone, so I'm trying to avoid that at all costs- easier said than done.

I definitely didn't get much done today- my excuse is that I won't be getting much rest over exam season, that's why I was so restful today. I still have so much to do, and it needs to be done soon.

“i can’t do this anymore” says a girl who is not only going to do it but do it well

21.05.24

[Exams 1/4 done]

I had an exam yesterday- I think it went okay, after though I got some food, went to lidl, then slept all day. So it wasn't the most productive. I clearly needed the sleep, so I'm trying to not be too harsh on myself, but I'm still tired now.

Today I just need to study all day. I went to get breakfast and accidently ran into the cleaner, she was panicking about an inspection she has, so I helped her with a bit of the cleaning.

Revising stats is stressful- I feel like I know NOTHING. I got 48 on my last test- my lowest on any university exam so far. I know that panicking won't help me but I still don't feel good. I have today and tomorrow to learn everything (as well as revising for my other exams)- I'm not confident.

I spent the rest of the day napping and then watching Crash Course Statistics. I am nervous for these tests- I am praying for the 50% I need to get onto my study abroad course.

(I didn't take any pictures today)

17.05.24

The weather is nice again! I'm glad the rain definitely dampened my mood.

I spent almost the entire day in the library- found 'You will beat this essay' written on the cublicle wall, it gave me the motivation I needed to get a big chunk of my Lab reoprt done.

Today I;

Did the introduction of my lab report

Did the methodology of my lab report

Created the Figures for my lab report

Started to contact the study abroad students I will be travelling with

Studied social categorisation, stereotyping and prejudice

Studied intergroup relations and conflict

I went to the library and forgot my tablet, so I had to walk all the way there and alllll the way back.

13.06.24

Long time no see! I had to give the uni laptop back and don't currently have one (that works) and I usually don't use tumblr on my phone so this is strange.

My exams are done now, I've tried to decompress from them. I spent some time with my boyfriend which always makes me feel good (he's literally the best).

Today I packed up my first-year dorm and took it home. Maybe it would be more emotional if it weren't so chaotic. Getting everything in the car was... a struggle. I now have to somehow find space in my room for it all. I can also use the shed for storage which is helpful.

(No pics 📸)

I hate it when people are like “get out of your comfort zone” literally every single thing I do in my life feels like me getting out of my comfort zone

19.05.24

My first exam is tomorrow- might not post as regularly over the next few days, my blog will obviously be de-prioritised.

I did a mock exam and only anwered half of the questions (didn't attempt the essay questions) and still passed- it relaxed me alot- as long as something doesn't go horribly wrong tomorrow, I should pass. This is my strongest subject this semester so I hope to do well and let it pull up/keep up my GPA.

I have done so much of my lab report now it's the day before it's due why couldn't I have done this ages ago and not stressed myself out aargh!!

Went for a walk in the sun (pictures), went to the library, but didn't stay there long.

Then I went BACK to the library, finished my lab report and submitted it, I'm not 100% happy with it, but that's just the perfectionist in me- really I could have worked on it everyday for the rest of my life and still want to make improvements. Time was up- I had to submit it.

27.05.24

[Exams 3/4]

The last exam was terrible, the exam writer was lazy (repeating questions, using questions on the mock, asking lots of questions about a tiny part of the syllabus, etc,) it really knocked by confidence and uspet me. I think I should have done better, and don't see the exam as a true reflection of what I can achieve. In all honesty, after the exam I went back to my dorm and cried- out of both upset and frustration. I hope that despite the poor creation of the test, I have done enough to get the grades I need. I have one test left, and I'm definitely burnt out. Everything got on top of me all at once, I miss my family and my sister has recently had a baby, but I haven't met him due to being in exams. Not being around family during such a momentous occasion has made me feel bad about moving away, and about my plans to move even further for the next academic year.

Not being able to see my nephew is a huge sacrifice to me, so to go through that only to sit in an unfair exam was the straw that broke the camel's back. After my last exam, I will be going out clubbing (not something I'm particuarly excited for right now, but I know it will help my social life), then all I want to do is go home to meet the newest member of my family.

(no pictures)

in a month from now, you'll either have a month of progress, or a month of excuses why you didn't.