Can Confirm! This Is The 3706th Writing Tip Of All Time!

the high horse -> foundation stallion pipeline

"oak and ash and thorn good sirs" but it's "salud dinero amor good sirs"

I would also like to introduce the concept of touch ARFID. You finally get out of touch starvation but actually it's only okay if it's like. One person specifically. Perhaps two, or five, but any person not on your safe touch list and you will get nauseous, you will get so revoltingly sick, and you know you have to expand your palate and just "not be bothered" by the occasional shoulder tap of an unsafe touch person because normal people are fine with it why can't you be? but it makes you so violently sick to your stomach and you curl up and do anything to make that touch go away, it wasn't meant to affect you but here you are

It took you so long to get accustomed to each new person you integrated into your safe persons list. It was agonizing at first but it was something you were willing to do because of all you'd been through together, the two of you, and you trust them to the end of the earth, and over time their touch became as dear to you as their presence.

But any of these other "normal" people? Forget it

touch-starvation needs to be written with emphasis on the starving part. you are hungry to be touched. so hungry that even the very taste of it makes you nauseous. it has been long since anything has ever touched you, ever fed you - that your body has grown more used to that gnawing emptiness more than anything else. it's better for you to be held, to eat but it makes you sick to try. you know

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

ok-do

F

THERE IS ANOTHER

he just a lil guy

I love being an adult! You get to say things like "like a faraday cage but for wifi" and instead of people going what are you talking about they get mad and go "‼️ exactly what is UP with that??" and boom you've made a frien

today's adorable dad thing is:

he made a family Christmas tradition. despite half of his kids being grown adults. he made binge watching Hawkeye before Christmas a Thing We Do ("it's a Christmas movie!" it is a tv show for one and for two you don't usually like this kind of stuff? and for three we never watched tv shows at all before?? but aww it's adorable how excited he gets about it)

special defense

does this count as anything ???is this art

we were never meant to be permanent

not in

mortality

so the story behind this, today, is that I got emotionally attached to a class I only have for three months ish. that's college for you.

and we came to the end of our time together today sitting around a table, slamming markers and gatorade down in a game in Portuguese I felt so content even knowing it was coming to an end even with the primal fear of someone aboard a speed train about to reach the end of the track one day, it will be permanent but not in this life I will see you all again on the other side Even if I never see you again in this mortal life

It comes down to the principle of Gatorade. That's what I call it because I remember a time when I was a kid that Gatorades were a prize. You could only obtain them by playing soccer because the other kids' soccer moms would bring Gatorade and CapriSun and all those glorious things your parents didn't get for you. Basically, you can't have one Gatorade forever. Makes sense, right?

But what if you could make a Gatorade last forever? What if you were in that one glorious moment forever? The sun shining off the thick clouds in the late golden hour, illuminating the greens and blues in the mountains around, the wind your best friend so exhilarating, the satisfaction of completing a soccer game you loved not for anything in particular other than the fact that you were outside and alive and proving yourself alive and you have a Gatorade.

Make that moment last forever. Now, what do you lose?

Years from now, you'll be at a movie night with friends. You will be scrunched between two people you love on a couch, or maybe curled cozily into a corner, or marinating in a beanbag with a super soft blanket. The movie is the greatest movie you've ever seen and it's only augmented by being cozy with true friends. One day you will finally achieve that skill you spend years trying to perfect. One day you might even learn to cook. You'll meet someone new a thousand times, then a million times. You'll even get to meet the same person again and again if you try. There will be so many people that come and go in your life. So many hobbies and loves and passions and YouTube recommendations.

You will change as a person and maybe you will be scared to. Maybe you'll long for the comfort and safety and glory of the Gatorade in the fresh air.

But if you remain there forever, you will never meet your best friend. You will never have that cozy movie night and never accomplish that tricky thing. You will never encounter so many things to love. TV show or drawing styles or color palettes or characters or songs. You're going to make an awesome PowerPoint one day. Would you give that up for the Gatorade you've already had?

As mortal beings we are confined to a timeline. Time-bound. Afterwards, though, we'll get to be whole, and let me tell you time isn't a problem for God. We'll get to remember each moment of joy we got to have down here on earth. We'll get to live each of them all at once if we want, and be with everyone we love all at once, forever, and I know I'm a mortal and probably butchering this description of what comes next because heck it I've not been there yet but that's sort of what it'll be like.

It's possible for everything we want to be permanent to be permanent in eternity. That's the point of eternity. That is not the point of mortality. The point of mortality is to do many things, experience many things, keep moving.

(As for the loved ones who stay in your life? They change, too, and that's beautiful.)

We were never meant to be permanent in mortality. The permanence comes later.