Pokémon Human Character Tournament: THE FINAL SHOWDOWN

ugh. forget everything i’ve ever said. unless you thought it was smart or funny in which case remember it forever

ordering stuff online doesnt hit like it used to anymore

before they used to give out a delivery date very far in the distant future and then surprise! it's here a week early<3

now they give a date and it always arrives on that day like where's the funnn where's the surprise

walking away from the cambrian explosion and making sure not to look back at it so its all badass

i made a project on how cockroaches respire once and yeah i think i would have done this if i wasn't still studying how cockroaches respire to this day

you ever get assigned something as a project in school and for the rest of your life you have a strange attachment to the subject. in like seventh grade i had an assignment to make a poster about the elemental propoerties of osmium and to this day everytime someone mentions it im like 'YEAAAAAAH OSMIUM MENTIONED!!!!!!!!'

The suspense in palpable.

tag urself I'm chicken that's sometimes undercooked

Thanks google ai that’s….,. Really helpful

the red button might be the most convincing point, what point is a pope without a backup plan

reasons why I should be the next pope:

I have an awesome taste in music

Im American but Canadian at heart

Sorry

i have a really cool dog thst can jump super high

if all goes wrong I have a big red button that will end it all

thank you for the consideration

sincerely,

paper eater

Pope John XII was elected at 18 and had orgies in the Vatican and allegedly died while doing another man's wife

So I don't see why you, paper eater, wouldn't be a better choice by a mile

.... The red button tho?